He was a fighter, he never gave up. If there was an obstacle, there was always a way around it, or over it. Hephaistion knew he was seen as quiet man with little ambition, but everyone who had served with him or under him had found out that underneath that, was a strong willpower, a tough man with his own beliefs and ideals. They had not often stood aside.

But now, a sharp death was placed on his shoulder, stinging coldly against the skin of his neck, and there was nothing he would do. He only had to make sure it ended here. The truth was, he didn't want to go anywhere, not leave. And he didn't even want to think about staying. Everything was different than he thought it was – it was even worse, and he had no determination left to solve this. A person had to know when to give up.

And death was within his reach, he knew… Angering the lost conqueror was not so hard. I'm sorry, Alexander, despite all. "I mean it," he said softly. "If your stubborn pride won't allow me to go, if your hate can't let me stay,-"

"Stop- criticising me! For once, Hephaistion, it's enough!"

To Hephaistion's surprise, it was more of a hopeless sadness that he read on Alexander's face than anger, and he unconsciously bit the inside of his lip.

"You never stopped, did you? Even when we parted I could read on your face that you never agreed. But you nearly broke me. You placed your sword at my throat one too many times."

"I…" Words suddenly got stuck in Hephaistion's throat. Is he speaking the truth? "Alexander… I was ever at your side."

Hephaistion saw Alexander's hand tighten around his weapon, felt the pressure increase. "That's what you said then, it's what you always claimed, as you surely remember." His voice was hard. "I wanted to believe you. But I nearly lost myself."

You did lose yourself! Hephaistion lowered his head once more, and words of an earlier conversation drifted into his mind. "I did not cause his madness, nor can I cure it." He tried his best to convince himself he had not known… but suddenly found it hard to. Have I not denied it to myself as well? "Then end it. I ask you to. My life is yours."

When he looked up Alexander's eyes had tightened. "If only it was. It's I who belongs to you. If I kill you, my own end would inevitably follow."

"Would that be so bad?" He had asked the question before even realising it and swallowed. Oh, he felt what Alexander wanted still, knew it had to be another cause of his frustration. Leaving the end of the world behind forever. It had all worsened from that point. But it was me… "By the memories from even longer ago, Alexander, I tell you: the world will never be the way you want it again. Whatever path you choose, it will never lead forward again."

"And that is how the legend will end. Alexander killed his Hephaistion, then died of grief over his own mistake." Alexander's voice trembled and his eyes stared over Hephaistion's shoulder, his gaze following the tip of his sword into the trees beyond.

Hephaistion knew what Alexander was looking at. The ways out of here, the ways out of this situation that all seemed equally wrong.

A little smile played on the king's lips.

He smiles? What madness is next? Hephaistion's throat was suddenly feeling very dry. "What do you see?" he whispered.

"They'd be wrong." Alexander's eyes returned to his. "You never were my Hephaistion, were you? You've never belonged to anyone but yourself."

Hephaistion opened his mouth without a sound, then breathed out: "You… you can't really believe that. You know better."

A burden seemed to have fallen of the other's shoulders, even though he hardly seemed to have heard Hephaistion's words. He lowered the sword. "Did you call it Cloud?"

"What?" He really has lost his mind!

Alexander motioned with his hand. "Your horse."

Hephaistion blinked. "I… Rain."

"Ah." The blond man smiled again. "Come, we're going back to camp."

He just stood. Somewhere, Alexander's mind had made a leap beyond his comprehension. I thought it was too late? Where are you taking us now, Alexander?

"If you're wondering if that was an order: no it wasn't." He climbed on Rain, who seemed completely at ease, then looked back. "It's just the truth."

It was, Hephaistion knew. He would go back, if Alexander wanted him to. If Alexander wanted him to be strong once more. Yet hope mingled with fear and uncertainty, and the question burned on his lips. Why? It seemed all he could do was…trust Alexander. And he was by no means sure he did. "I will not-" he started. "I won't be the person you want me to be. I cannot do that. I won't start lying for you."

"I know," Alexander replied, completely calm. "Where's his horse?"

Hephaistion's eyes strayed to the man on the ground. Dead eyes. As his own could have been, perhaps should have been. He took another deep breath, then turned to the left. "He hid it there, not far away."

"But you had already heard him," Alexander added. A wave of his hand told Hephaistion to move in the right direction.

Hephaistion shook his head and complied. How long can you keep this up? Can /we/ keep this up? Until we kill each other in public? But Alexander was right…there really was no choice to make.

The small mare stood fastened to a tree, a little distance back, and Hephaistion freed it and led it back to where Alexander was still waiting. He felt resentment for the fact that the other man had taken Rain from him…it told him that Alexander, too, would not change. If that can be our agreement. It would be a balance, but only for the strength of both our made up minds – if one of us lets go, it will be the end. Can Alexander be serious about this? Does he even trust himself? Or is this betrayal once more?

Alexander's own sword, the one Hephaistion had recognized immediately, had been tossed aside as the assassin had fallen. "Your sword, Alexander."

"I'll get myself a new one."

Hephaistion sighed, then lifted the corpse upon the mare's shoulders and mounted behind it. Someone who died for his king. Don't we all, sooner or later?