AN: This is an attempt at humor. I'm kinda tired writing on my major project so I decided to try this. Here goes! PS: I removed, replaced weapon, and reposted this story.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Fire Emblem, what else do you need to know?

Ch. 1 Swordmadness

After the battle, Mech the tactician was inside his tent, snoring. After ignoring a few pounding knocks, the lords, Raven, Fiora, and Kent barged in.

"Hey! What'd I tell ya about barging into my tent!" the tactician snapped. He pointed at the newly repaired roof.

"Um, Mech? You did that, with your…attack," Fiora corrected him. She was referring to Mech's misused Steel Blade combo that he used the last time Bartre barged into his tent to ask for a handful of stones. Mech thrashed his tent and nearly took off Bartre's head.

"Ahem…well, okay. That was my fault. So why are you here?" Mech asked.

"Guy," all of them answered.

"What's wrong with him?"

"He's still playing with that black box you brought from wherever it is you came from," Hector told him.

"He's ignoring Priscilla," Raven growled.

"Wait, I thought you didn't want Guy near Priscilla," Mech pointed out.

"You've been reading too many of other people's stories about me," Raven answered "What were they called again? Fanleeches?"

"Fiction. They're called Fanfiction," Mech corrected him.

"Why do you need to read books on your other black box?" Eliwood asked, highly annoyed, "Especially since they make fun of us."

"'Cause it's funny! Can't a serious guy read something humorous once in a while?" Mech asked.

"Can we please get back to the subject?" Hector demanded.

"Uh, sure. What was it again?"

"That insane Guy!" everyone shouted.

"Which guy?" Mech asked. "GUY!" everyone shouted again.

"You mean the Sacaen guy who practices with sword everyday?" Mech asked.

"Who else?" Hector retorted.

"What makes you think I want to mess with Karel?" Mech asked.

"NOT KAREL! GUY!" everyone screamed. They looked about ready to butcher Mech with their weapons.

"Why not send someone else to handle Guy first? Like Jaffar, or Raven, or even Karel," Mech suggested. Everyone brightened to that idea and went off to find someone who was suicidal enough to mess with Guy.

"Nitwits. Didn't they think of that in the first place?" Mech sighed. He got up and went to look for Karel.

At a wide open meadow, a slight breeze was ruffling the grass along with Mech's black hair and his black and red cloak. It would have been a wonderful day except for one thing. Karel was there. Mech watched as Karel used multiple sword techniques smoothly like calm waters. Watching Karel pretend to butcher someone tend to make the air colder.

"Might as well get this over with," Mech muttered to himself. After making sure that the Killing Edge that he 'borrowed' from the merchant Merlinus was securely fastened to his belt, he headed toward Karel.

As Guy was playing Super Smash Brothers, two shadows approached Guy. Guy looked up with his blood shot eyes and saw Raven and Erk.

"I'll make you pay for hurting my sister," Raven roared as he whipped out his Brave Sword.

"You'll fell my wrath for having Lady Priscilla fall for you," Erk announced, holding an Excalibur tome. Both stood in their Critical Hit stance. Before they moved, Guy Critical Hit them both (he doesn't believe in 'wait for the character to finish their pose'). Raven and Erk lay lying on the ground, half dead.

"Oh no! Lord Brother! Erk!" Priscilla screamed, "Guy, how could you?" Guy glared at the girl who dared to disturb his game. He slowly unsheathed his Killing Edge. Priscilla gulped and slowly backed away.

"At long last, a foe worthy to fall beneath my blade," Karel crowed.

"Yo! Karel! I got a favor to ask you," Mech hollered. Karel gave Mech a look of disdain and death. Mech was leaning against a tree far away from Karel.

"Beat it tactician. You are not worthy to feel my blade," Karel snarled. Mech looked at the Wo Dao's edge.

"I don't think I want to be worthy," Mech commented. He continued, "Anyway, about that favor: Can you go beat up Guy? Everybody's terrified of him lately. Even Matthew."

Karel sliced his sword toward the tree that Mech was leaning on and the tree fell.

"That pup is not worthy," Karel said.

"A-ah-ha! Who knew the big bad scary Karel is afra-aaaid," Mech managed to taunt next to a tree near his head. Karel rushed at Mech, his eyes promising a slow and painful death.

"EeeEEEeeepppP!" Mech screamed like a little girl with bad vocals. Mech turned and clumsily yanked out his sword but slip on mud and was falling flat on his back.

"I'M GONNA DIEEEEEEEEE!" Mech squealed.

By blind luck, as Mech slipped, his foot hit Karel in a place where I'm not telling and launched him a few meters away. The Wo Dao fell from his fingers and sliced Mech's hood.

"ELIWOOD! HEEEELP!" Mech screamed. Karel got up and had a scary expression on his face.

"You beat me," was all he said.

"I'M SORRY! I PROMISE I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!" Mech squealed.

"Very well. I'll kill Guy. But when I came back, you will fall to my blade," Karel threatened. Like a ghost, he vanished.

"I…I live…I LIVE!" Mech shouted. He was doing an ugly victory dance when Karel popped up.

"Where is he?" Karel asked. He picked up his Wo Dao.

"AIIIIEEEEEEEE!" Mech fainted.

AN: Well, how was it? Good? Tell me what you think (read and review, right?), but please keep in mind that this is my first attempt at humor. Don't burn me down too harshly unless you think it's necessary. Oh yes, one more thing, at least one more chapter will be posted here. Good-bye.