The rain. All Shigure Sohma could hear as he laid on his futon was the rain falling like so many cherry blossoms when it was time for them to wilt. It was soft at first, a gentle drizzle that usually came along with the first of spring, but as the night wore on, the little shower grew to a downpour. He wasn't sure which was harder to listen to, but then it was always hard for him to listen to the rain. It always reminded him of that night. His last night with her almost five years ago.
He turned over and over, trying with all his might to go to sleep, but her image was imprinted on the backs of his eyelids. Every time he closed his eyes, there she was, smiling at him the way she used to. "Shii-san," she would say as she ran her fingers through his hair. "Have I told you today that I love you?"
He would smile and not say a word, just stare into those deep blue eyes and long to hold her close to him. But that, too, was impossible. He didn't dare take her in his arms for fear of his turning into an animal, quite literally. He refused to let her see him as that dog unless she just absolutely willed it.
As he continued to toss and turn, the memories returned with a terrible vengeance, and before he knew it, he was remembering the night before all of her own reminiscences were stripped from her…
Saddened by the upcoming events of the following day, Shigure walked to the window that overlooked the Sohma garden, only to see that the once beautiful, sunny day had now turned into a dark, dreary, and rainy evening. How appropriate for the sudden change in his mood. He had been so happy, so full of excitement that morning, and now he felt nothing but pain and despair…and perhaps a twinge of anger for Akito.
How could he take her away from him? How could Akito seize from him the one woman he had ever actually allowed himself to fall in love with? Now he felt a bit of the pain that Hatori felt when he and Kana were separated, and he felt guilty for ever pressuring him to try to get over her more quickly.
He sighed deeply and was about to retire for the evening, but noticed someone standing out in the garden, and upon closer inspection, he realized that it was Meiyuki! She was standing in the midst of the flowers, staring up at the stars and getting more and more soaked by the minute.
Shigure quickly ran outside and stood beside her, about to scold her himself for standing out in the rain. But the moment he saw her face, he couldn't even muster a word. She looked so sad, so forlorn, and her eyes were red and puffy from crying. Her normally shiny russet hair was now sopping, hanging loosely over her shoulders and down her back. "Mei-chan?" he said softly, using his own nickname for her.
She turned to him slowly and sniffled a bit as she replied, "I'm sorry, Shii-san. It's all my fault. If I had been more careful, if I hadn't contradicted Akito-san, this may have never come up. Please forgive me."
He put a hand gently to her face and said, "This isn't your fault, Mei-chan. Akito-san would have decided this whether you had gone to see him or not. You know how he despises anyone who is outside of our family and knows our secret. If the blame lies with anyone, it is with me for getting you involved in this and for telling you everything."
"No," she insisted, shaking her head. "My Shii-san, I wouldn't trade these past several years for the entire world. I'm glad that you and I had this time together, however brief it was. I'm glad that you shared your secrets with me and allowed me to be a part of your family, even for just a little while. I'm glad that we were a part of each other's lives."
Unable to resist the urge any longer, he put his arms comfortingly around her just before transforming into a dog, as usual. Meiyuki couldn't help but laugh a little as she watched him wag his tail in the mud, and she picked him up as she said, "Come on, Shii-san. I'll take you inside and try to dry you off before you turn back into a human."
The next day had been torture for all of them. Hatori, of course, had been the one to have to erase all of her memories, and he wasn't exactly thrilled about the prospect of helping one of his best friends lose the love of his life forever. Besides, Meiyuki had been a friend to all of them, and her cheerful spirit had brought a sense of unity to the Sohma household that they hadn't known since before Yuki and Kyo were born.
Just before Meiyuki had joined Hatori in the front yard of the house, she handed Shigure a little piece of paper and kissed his cheek as she said, "Don't read this until after I'm gone, Shii-san, but I want you to keep it and always remember that every word there is the truth."
He nodded and resisted the tears that were slowly creeping toward his eyes. He then watched as she walked toward the Sohma doctor, and nodded gently as she knelt in front of him. Hatori put his hand to her forehead, and a moment later she collapsed to the ground, signifying that the deed had been done.
Now, remembering that terrible day, Shigure arose from his bed and grabbed a familiar book off of one of his shelves. He opened the page that he knew by heart and found Meiyuki's note once again. He had read it so many times by this point that it had become very worn and faded, but that didn't at all inhibit him from being able to read the oh-so-memorable words.
"My Dearest Shigure,
"By the time you read this letter, I will be gone already. It's hard to believe that six years of wonderful love and companionship are going to be gone just like that, in one instant. I know you feel a bit of resentment toward Haa-san for having to be the one to take away our time together, but please don't blame him. He is merely doing as Akito-san wishes.
"Please know, my Shii-san, that even after my mind forgets you, my heart will always remember the joy that you brought to my life. I'm certain that every time I pass a bookstore and see a book you wrote, I'll feel a sort of longing, and even though my head won't know the reason why, my soul will bear in mind that it is because I still love you.
"And I will, Shigure. I will always, always love you. No matter what Akito-san takes away from me, you can remember these past several years. Please don't forget me, my Shii-san. But if it does so happen that a young woman crosses your path, one whom you believe could make you happy, please fall in love again. Don't hesitate because of me. Wherever I happen to be, I'll be happy when you are.
"Feel no pain, my love. Don't long for the good old days when we were a team. Simply memorize them, and give a little smile when you think of the way things used to be. Your smile truly is a blessing to this world. Again, my Shii-san, I love you, I love you, and perhaps someday our paths will cross again. For now, goodbye, my only love.
"Love, Meiyuki."
Shigure smiled and placed it back inside the book, knowing once again that she was right. He shouldn't mourn and weep for times that were long gone. He should just remember them and smile as he thought of them, what wonderful times they were. Thinking on these things, he finally drifted into an uneasy sleep, the rain still pounding on the ground outside.
The next afternoon, Shigure found himself walking down the streets of the city with Ayame at his side, the Sohma snake ever rattling on about his latest misadventures to try to impress his younger brother, again to no avail. He tried to listen to what would normally be an entertaining story, but his mind was still far away in space, thinking only of Meiyuki and how much he wished to see her again.
"Gure-san!" Ayame said as though offended. "You aren't listening to a word I'm saying!"
Shigure laughed and replied, "I'm sorry, Aaya-san. I was just thinking about Meiyuki again. I just wish I knew where she was, what she's doing. If I could just see her just one more time…"
The silver-haired gentleman, flipped his long locks over one shoulder and said, "I know exactly where you can find her." He then led his friend to a nearby bookstore and pointed in the window of the café. "Look there at the corner table. She sits there every day and reads. Look what's in her hand."
He leaned closer to the glass and sure enough, there sat Meiyuki, sipping a cup of coffee and reading a book, but it wasn't just any book. Looking even closer, he realized that it was the last novel he wrote, a romance entitled A Love Lost. It had been their story! He wrote of how a young man lost the only love of his life when her memories were taken from her by a terrible accident.
He smiled as he stepped away from the window and sighed. That was all he had wanted. He had only wanted to see her, know that she was happy, and it was just a bonus that she was, in fact, reading one of his novels. He had to wonder if perhaps she did feel that longing she had talked about when she picked up that book. Did she question why her heart ached every time she even saw his name? Did it matter?
Shigure wasn't sure of the answers, but at the moment, he didn't particularly care. His day, his month, perhaps even his year had been made just because he saw her one more time. Now he was certain that whenever he heard the rain, he would have one more happy memory to add to all the others, one that would live even longer than the sad ones he had remembered the previous night.