Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, for they belong to J.K. Rowling. I only own the plot.
Chapter 1- Thoughts
He reminds me so much of myself. When I look into his eyes I see myself. He has a mask on and I think that he sees that I notice. He has the same look in his eyes that I have in my own; the look of sorrow, pain and emptiness. It's as if he's hiding from those around him. Not showing his true self. He acts as though he's happy. His eyes tell a different story, they give it away. Maybe it's because I do it myself that I notice this in him.
He's been looking at me more. When he looks at me it's as if he sees right through me. It's as if he sees the pain and the hurt. When he looks at me now it's not just a glance or a glare, he'll wait for me to look at him. When we make eye contact there's this look of understanding that passes through his eyes.
It would be nice to have him as a friend, one to talk to and hang out with. It would be cool to have someone new to get to know. We don't have that long to become friends. We leave in a year. In that year I'll have more opportunities to be his friend. Who knows, maybe he'll want the same thing.
It gets harder every day to act like I'm ok, that there's nothing wrong. It starts to show more and more every day.
Yet they don't see that secrets I hide. The secrets that are there for the world to see. Secrets that I don't want to keep to myself anymore. I want to be able to share them with someone. I think that he might be that someone.
He might be that someone that I can count on, that will be there for me. He might be someone to be my best friend. He might be my one and only, my true love. Oh my gosh, am I falling in love with him? How can this be? There's no way he could ever return those feelings for me. Is it possible for him to feel the same for me that I feel for him?
What will my friends think? What will everyone think? Surely they wouldn't accept us. Is it possible that we could be together? His father is no longer in the way. Would he even give me the chance to talk with him?
I've yet to experience what it is like to be in love. Will I finally have my chance? Will I finally be able to be truly happy once more? To not be in pain? To go through a week without having to hurt myself? Will I finally be able to stop adding on to the many scars I have?
I have all these questions yet I have no answers. The only person who can answer these questions I will not see for another hour. Even then who says that he will be able to answer them, or that he will want to answer them. Oh well, I guess I'm going to have to go through another day without knowing. Once again I find myself only thinking. I have yet to take action to my thoughts. Well, other then those thoughts of hurting myself.
I wonder if anyone will notice theses scars or even see the fresh wounds? Most likely not though, they never do. Although at times I catch him glancing at my arm. Though he doesn't say anything, the look in his eyes is all that I need though. The eyes tell more than any words can.