Disclaimer: my heart is shattering while I type this. Harry Potter is not mine.. (sobs)
A/N: parallel to Win or Lose. Ginny's POV
Edit: there was something someone said in a review that got me thinking and so I changed it, just a little bit (:
It's not fair.
But then again, since when is anything fair in life?
Ginny Weasley always stood tall. She may have been the shortest and the youngest of the Weasley clan, but she always stood the tallest. Now she was on the ground, clutching dirt and trying her hardest not to cry.
Echoes of war pounded on the inside of her brain. Their last words to each other would haunt her memories forever.
Whenever someone asks you what your most memorable moment is, everyone usually comes up with something fun and exciting; something that changed their life for the better.
Your most memorable moment isn't necessarily your best memory, but the one you'll remember the most; above all others.
She stood alone at the edge of the lake. Her long red hair was swept up in a ponytail, whipping around in the wind. She refused to cry of course. Ginny Weasley didn't cry, not anymore. She suffered enough loss to learn that crying never returns things to what they used to be. Crying didn't bring Charlie back.
He came up behind her and circled his arms around her waist. She knew it had to be him. She leaned back against his body and let herself go in his presence. This was the first time they had made physical contact or any kind of emotional contact since he ended things between them at Dumbledore's funeral.
They didn't return to the school the next school year. They never reopened it, but they always knew the final battle would be on these grounds.
"Do you think," he said softly kissing the top of her head as she crossed her arms over her stomach so she could hold his hands in hers, "that maybe we could be in love?"
Ginny's heart pounded a thousand times a minute. His voice was hoarse and cracked. It sent chills down her spine. Nobody had ever had that effect on her.
Placing her head in the crook of his neck she closed her eyes and sighed softly. "No, not really." She said as a small smile crossed her face. "If we weren't in love back then but didn't know about it, then we're in love right now."
She stared her brother in the eye, hoping that maybe he'd give her some good news. Maybe he'll jump up and down excitedly and tell her that it was some sort of mistake.
He'd tell her that she didn't just watch her world crash and burn.
His blue eyes were filled with unshed tears. The woman he loved, her bestfriend, was at his side trying to comfort him. He gave her a look that told her everything she needed to know. Behind his tears there was sorrow and sympathy for her. She tried to push herself off the ground but her legs were too weak and she collapsed into the arms of her eldest brother.
He held her like their mother held them; gently rocking her back and forth. "It's okay to cry kid," he said to her, pushing his dirty matted hair out of his face.
"No," she whispered gathering a fistful of his shirt. There were so many things she needed to say still. She couldn't say them if she was too busy crying. "Crying won't bring him back."
She watched Ron and Hermione take one last look before walking away. They've accepted it already, because it was so fucking easy to accept right?
He was walking away from her, just like he had the day of Dumbledore's funeral. The time was approaching quickly and they needed to be where they belonged.
'Hey," she called out to him. He stopped in his tracks and turned around to face her. She was holding a white lily in her hands, and the sun was setting on the lake just behind her. He smiled at the sight of beauty, knowing it was the last time he was ever going to see it.
"Promise me that when it's all over, you'll be alive, kay?"
"Promise," he whispered almost immediately. She almost didn't believe him; but then again, when has he ever let her down?
Content, she walked past him grabbing his hand lightly before walking into the school.
She sat there on her knees in the same spot she had occupied for the past hour. Everyone was cleaning up the mess Voldemort had left behind. Bill had left to tend to his wounds, and tried to get her to do the same. He couldn't remember when she had gotten so strong because she wouldn't budge from her spot.
It was lying right there in front of her. It was no longer white however. A lily, crushed, trampled on, and dirty.
"Bullshit," she whispered before picking it up and walking away.
The ceremony was over. They buried him in the spot he died and his tombstone stood above his grave.
She stood in front of it, and being who she was nearly kicked it for separating him from her. The damaged lily was still in her hand. She threw it on his grave and fell to her knees.
"I hate you," she said softly running her fingers over the dirt. She was smiling. It was her way of letting him know that she knew he could see her.
And for the first time, in how many years, Ginny Weasley cried.
"You lied to me," she sobbed pounding on the dirt. "I hate you."
She stood up and walked away, knowing that he understood perfectly. He understood exactly what it meant.
To a normal person, when someone says "I hate you," it usually means "I hate you." But when Ginny Weasley says "I hate you," only he would understand that she meant "I love you."
That was the whole point. The fact that only he could understand what she meant made it mean that much more.
Harry Potter stood alone with the lily she had placed in his hand when she grabbed it. It was him watching her walk away this time. He stared at her retreating figure and smiled sadly before tossing the lily onto the ground next to him.
"I'll be alive in your heart for sure."