Mike and Matt had disassembled the remains of the fried out computer, and were sorting through a pile of circuit boards, drives, and wires that were strewn across the desk of the unoccupied office.
"What is it?" Matt asked, scooting over to look at the component that Mike was holding up triumphantly.
"This gum wrapper here… it's the only thing I can think of that would have messed up the computer." He pointed to the crumpled tinfoil that laid over several important looking wires.
"What's this?" Matt nudged the foil, and revealed a dark, round object.
"That's weird…" Mike rummaged around for some tweezers. He reached in to pull out the mysterious object, but suddenly the tiny tweezers jumped from his loose grasp and stuck to the dark sphere.
"It's a magnet!" Matt exclaimed.
"Or at least it's magnetized. Still, I think we might have a chance of recreating the conditions that brought our old buddy out of his element. Get that other computer over here." Mike carefully dislodged the tweezers and began shoving the other computer parts to the end of the desk to clear it off.
"Wait… Mike? Have you heard anything from Homestar…" The pair fell silent at this ominous realization.
After a moment, the paralysis was lifted; they dropped what they were doing and bolted from their chairs. "Homestar!" They called, but there was no response.
"Okay, someone needs to keep an eye on this stuff-" Mike reminded his brother.
"I'll take care of it…" Matt took out his keys. They locked the room and proceeded to track down their missing companion.
At this very moment Homestar happened to think of Matt and Mike. He was sitting in Laura's Camry, waiting for her to start the car.
"So, I met these two guys named Matt and Mike, and thewe wowking on fixing a computew fow me." Homestar said casually. "I gotta use it to get back to my-"
Matt and Mike? You mean the Chapmans?" Laura interrupted. "Matt used to work here, before he and his brother started that internet cartoon dealie. He still comes by once in a while though. Doing odd jobs for some friends of his."
"Oh yeah? Odd jobs, huh? Do they involve… conspiwacy? Or… secwet wecipes?" Homestar said dramatically.
Laura laughed. "No, mostly just favors for his buddies." They pulled out of the parking lot. "You know why I'm taking you out for lunch?" Laura said suddenly, causing Homestar to look up from examining his entwined fingers.
"Uhh, because you… wanted some food?" Homestar guessed. "Oh, wait I wemembew! You wanted hot food! Ding ding ding! Tell me what I've won, Valewie!"
Laura chuckled again. "No, it's because you remind me of my cousin." She suddenly adopted a more serious tone, and gazed meaningfully at Homestar. "She struggles with the same thing you do, and I find that very respectable that you chose to meet ridicule with humor rather than anger. Not many people understand the difficulties you're going through, but I want you to know that you aren't alone. There's help out there for people like you and my cousin. Here, this is where Tracy goes for therapy. I really recommend it, because she has improved so much over the last few months since switching to them."
Laura handed him a business card and put her hand on his shoulder. Homestar looked blankly at her hand, then back at her. "Um, okay. Youw weiwd." He scooted away from her. "Can we go back to that big elevatow place now?"
"We're getting lunch, remember?" Laura reminded him.
"Yeah, I'm not weally hungwy anymowe. I'm pwetty suwe you cweeped all the hungwyness outta me." The car came to a halt at a stop light, and Laura turned to face Homestar.
"Listen, I know it can be hard to talk about, but I know better than most people how difficult it can be to deal with a speech impediment-"
"The only thing inpediamented is youw bwain, sistew. I'm gettin' outta this madness." Homestar flung open the door and started to make a break for it, but Laura had snagged his shirt. He fell backwards, gagged by the collar of the shirt. Laura was yelling for him to get back in the car, but Homestar managed to wiggle out of the Zeppelin shirt and made his escape.
Unfortunately, in mid escape the light had turned green. The cars he was weaving through began to move, and Homestar froze on the center line, spinning around in confusion. Horns blared, insults flew, and the whole scene was total confusion for poor Homestar.
He finally leaped out into the street and made for the curb with all the speed he posessed. He thought he heard Laura scream above the squealing of tires. Somehow, the cars in the first lane had managed to stop in time. The curb was only a few feet away now, but a taxi was coming up fast in the turn lane. Homestar made a desperate leap for the curb, but was intersected in mid air by the hood of the taxi. He landed noisily and rolled off onto the pavement.
"Owwww…" He moaned. The cabby disentangled himself from his seatbelt and exited the car to scold the impertinent J-walker in a heavy southern accent.
"What the heck you think yo doin' boy? You make a habit o' leapin' on people's cars an' givin' folks a heart attack? People like you aughta be in a institution! You hurt?"
"I dunno." Homestar replied, slightly dazed.
"Well then move yo butt off the road so people can make a livin!" The angry cab driver returned to his vehicle, and Homestar picked himself up off the pavement and limped to the sidewalk.
Meanwhile, Matt and Mike were scouring the office building for their missing companion. A search of the entire floor had turned up nothing, so they had gone to the lobby to see if anyone saw him leave the building.
"Have you seen a really pale guy in a black Zeppelin shirt around here?" Mike inquired of a clerk whose desk was across from the elevator.
"Why yes I do believe I did see him… he went out around fifteen or twenty minutes ago with that Laura from design. I remember it clearly because the man ran into one of the glass windows on his way out." The clerk held back a laugh.
"Gotta be him," Matt assured Mike. "Where were they going, and what did Laura look like?"
"Well, I don't know where there going, but Laura… oh, well there she is now!" The clerk pointed, and the brothers turned to follow her gesture.
There was Laura, looking disheveled and holding what looked like a black piece of cloth. She seemed to be searching the crowd, and when her eyes fell upon the brothers she came running up to them.
"I'm so sorry, I was just taking your friend out to lunch because the guys were being so mean to him on the elevator, and I think I said something to upset him- he… he ran away when we were stopped at a light… I didn't know what to do, I tried to stop him…" She was on the verge of tears and seemed unable to speak any further. Instead, she held out the Zeppelin shirt that Homestar had left behind in his escape.
"Oh, geez." Mike remarked.
"Who let this fruit basket out of social services…" Matt muttered, rolling his eyes.
"Okay, just tell us where he got out. We'll get him." Mike said.
"Hey, fwee food!" Homestar had been sitting on the curb, trying to recover from his jarring encounter with the taxi when he caught a whiff of a delectable scent from a nearby cart of fresh bread that was sitting outside of a bakery. To him it appeared as though the cart had been abandoned there, so he got up and hobbled over to the cart to help himself. That is, until the bakery owner spotted him.
"What are you doing? You better be paying for that!" A big, burly man stormed out of the shop. "Well?"
"I, uh… I was just… um… wunning away!" Homestar tossed the half eaten loaf into the man's arms and bolted around the corner into an alley. He paused by a dumpster to catch his breath.
"Close call, eh kid?" A gruff voice echoed out from the depths of the dumpster.
"Ah! The gawbage is talking to me!" Homestar jumped back against the grimy brick wall of the alley.
Now laughter started to pour out of the dumpster, and a dirty looking guy in a trenchcoat emerged as the owner of the voice. He stared at Homestar with beady eyes, his grizzled face contorted into a grin. "Quite a sense of humor you got there. But I'm gonna have to ask you to hand over your wallet. And any valuables you might be havin' on ya." He started to pull something out of his trenchcoat.
"Uh, I don't have a wallet. I keep my money in my shoe." Homestar replied.
"Well then empty your shoe, genius! And hurry up about it."
"Why should I?" Homestar asked suspiciously.
The thief's grimy face crinkled up in frustration. "Because if you don't I'll- AUUUURRRGHH!" Suddenly he jerked and collapsed to the ground. Directly behind him stood Matt holding a taser and bearing a triumphant grin.
"Say hello to my little friend!" Matt said to the stunned mugger.
"Nobody messes with our webtoon characters," Mike added from the end of the alleyway.
"Awight! Scowe!" Homestar yelled happily. "I'm so glad I found you guys, thewe was this cweepy lady who was tawking about inpediations or something. It was the scawiest thing in my life."
"Yeah, you were a lot of trouble to find. But the good news is we may have figured out how to get you back to where you belong now." Matt said, putting the taser in his pocket. He led Homestar back to the end of the alleyway where Mike was waiting for them.
"Matt, since when did you start carrying a freaking taser?" Mike asked as they approached.
"Since I found it in the desk drawer of that office we've been working in." Matt replied.