Firstly we'd like to dedicate this chapter too sparkling-tangerine, and yes it has a slightly more serious plot.
Voldemort sat curled in his favourite armchair by the fire. Being in a retirement home did have its advantages. Voldemort was now over one-hundred-years old. With barely a wrinkle showing.
He was waiting for an important message, but not from an owl. (Hint hint).
Maybe he should get up and get some coffee, No he thought, too much effort. Anyway the message should be here soon.
Suddenly there was a tapping at the window, he looked up in alarm and there it was a KOOKABURRA! He hobbled hastily to the window. (It took him several hours to get there so it was dawn by the time he made it).
"Ah, I trust the plan went accordingly" He whispered. (Now we all know that kookaburras can't talk so let's just pretend)
"Yes my lord, perfectly" (That wasn't so hard was it?)
"Good, good. Dumbledore dead, along with Harry Potter. Now there is one person left to kill Rufus Scrimgeour" Voldemort sighed grimly.
Voldemort had sent the kookaburra off to assassinate the minister. Being the worlds most evil person ten times running had its difficulties. He felt weary all this hard work really took its toll on him. He closed his eyes and fell askeep…
He died.
Opened his eyes, got up took a deep breath.
And… got himself a cup of tea.
SEE, no sausages in that one, and no people dying… well sort of. PLS REVIEW or no more chapters…!I need at least 10…