Warnings: Kidnapping, lectures, unexplained weirdness…need I go on?
Disclaimer: I will not comment. ;)
A/N: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to all my reviewers! You guys are my stars, my heros, my knights in shining armor, etc. etc. etc. In other words, you guys all rock. ;)
Un-RetirementFather Herman was not completely certain as to what was going on the entire time he was inside the sack, aside from the fact that he was being constantly bumped around, jostled, and jerked here and there across a smoothe and hard surface, and no matter how he fought, screamed, and flailed…nothing seemed to work against these two little wretched beings.
But in all other senses, he mostly just marvelled at the fact that he could not believe this was happening to him. Not after everything he had already been through. Not after he had already decided to go back to his job. Not after he had thought everything was about to starting piecing back together.
But it was happening. It was happening very much, actually. And he was being kidnapped.
"UNHAND ME YOU GOD-FORSAKEN CREATURES!" He bellowed out over and over again, completely aware that this was a very un-Godly thing to say, but he was so angry and horrified at the time that he really couldn't have cared either way. "YOU WILL HAVE YOUR JUDGEMENT AT THE END OF THE WORLD FOR THIS! THE LORD WILL JUDGE YOU SOUNDLY FOR THESE ACTIONS! NOW LET ME OUT!"
"Hoo, that fella' just keeps screamin' away, Merry…" The smaller one of the two spoke to the taller one, sounding almost fascinating as they continued to work together to pull the old man along to where they wanted to go. "I wonner' if he'll stop…?"
"Prob'ly not, Pip." The taller one spoke in a doomed voice, and Father Herman gave another panicked yelp when he suddenly felt the smoothe floor droop slightly into a near-slide that made him become instantly afraid that he was about to start slipping downward. But he never did. "He's jus' an old guy."
"I RESENT THAT!" Father Herman yelled out, his voice now panicky as he tried in vain to grip at the floor underneath him even while he was in the sack. "WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME!"
"To see Gandelf!" Pip's voice said cheerfully from outside the sack, and Father Herman could have sworn he could almost sense Merry glaring at him. "He sayz yer real important!"
"I am not important!" The priest was almost wailing now. "I'm just an old man that wants to go home and to be LEFT ALONE! NOW RELEASE ME!"
"'Fraid not, sir." Merry's voice reached his ears a second later. "You have to see Gandalf first."
And truly, neither of them would say anything else despite how Father Herman shouted, pleaded, demanded, and yelled from inside the sack. For despite their size, they seemed to have a very strict sense of duty, and would not even listen to any reasoning as long as they had their objective in their heads. Such creatures Father Herman had never seen before, and was beginning to definitely think that he never wanted to see them again.
All he could hope for now that whoever this "Gandalf" fellow was, he was not with the sort of dark and terrible creatures that had seemed to haunt him so viciously back when he still had his job. That he knew he could not handle. Not right after being stalked, intruded upon, and kidnapped!
Thankfully, though, it didn't take more than a half hour or so for the little ones to finally reach their destination. That at least was a relief, but Father Herman did indeed find himself wondering just how they had managed to get him where they wanted to go when he had never felt himself leave the floor of the inn. Not even once. In fact, he was very certain they had never gone outside, or even opened a door.
But either way, they did indeed arrive where the twosome wanted to be, and a second later Father Herman felt the sack yanked right off of his head, immediately giving him a full view of the new room that he was in – which turned out to be small, dark, and made completely of stone. And needless to say, in Father Herman's book, this wasn't a very good sign.
"What is this place?" He demanded as soon as he had found his tongue, turning toward Merry and Pip, who were standing respectfully off to the side with perfectly guilty looks on their round faces. "Where have you taken me? What is going on!"
"Oh, do not worry, my good man." A sudden voice from directly behind the old man made all the little white hairs on his head stand up straight on end yet again, and when Father Herman spun around, he found himself almost nose-to-nose with the face of another old man…but this old man was smiling, and he had a long white beard and a look of merry wisdom behind his eyes. "You are in perfectly good hands. After all, if you are Father Herman, then you deserve only the best."
"What do you mean?" Father Herman found himself saying numbly, although he could have sworn his mouth never moved as he stared shakily into the other man's twinkling eyes. "You…you kidnap me and then tell me I am in good hands! I'll have you know that I'm – "
"Quite alarmed by it, I am sure." The other old man said with a knowing nod. "And you have every right to be so. But I assure you there was no other safe option. Not at the time. That was truly the best way to bring you here…and now that you are indeed here, how about we give you a little explanation for what has been going on?" He asked kindly.
Father Herman eyed him warily. He was guessing, with the knowledge he had obtained so far, that this fellow he was seeing before him was the Gandalf that Merry, Pip, and Aragorn had all spoken of to him. After all, who else would it be? He was the only other person in the room, seemed to be the one that knew everything, and did seem to have a presence that earned some reverance on the parts of those that beheld him.
Again, it was something he had never seen before. But just in case, he decided to ask.
"Are you Gandalf?" He asked, watching the other man's every move as the bearded fellow straightened himself up from where he had been bending over to look at the priest sitting on the floor.
"Oh, yes, I am." Gandalf responded simply, continuing to smile down at the priest even as he said so. "And it is an honor to have you ask me that at last. I have been searching for you for nearly a year, you know."
At this, Father Herman was most surprised. "Searching for me?" He asked in pure disbelief. "Why…why in the world were you searching for me? I simply do not understand what I have to do with anything – "
"- that has to do with God?" Gandalf finished, his smile growing slightly as he nodded once again. "Ah, a very good question indeed, Father. But truly, do I even need to answer that for you?"
"W-well no, not…I…but why me in particular? Do you know how many priests and other men that there are out there that are men of God?" Father Herman argued, beginning to feel a bit dizzy from the way his heart was beating. He was truly, and completely, too old for this. "You seem to be stalking me from what I can see…and I have yet to find out why. Why don't you just tell me what you want from me and then leave me alone?"
"Do you desire solitude so much?" Gandalf asked lightly.
"Not so much the solitude, but distance from people like them – " The priest pointed insistantly toward the ever-guilty Merry and Pip. " – and the wicked beings that became the cause of my self-removal from the church is all I want. Do you have any idea the things that I saw those days?"
"Yes, I do." Gandalf's voice turned slightly grave as, once again, he nodded. "I know very well. And we all completely understand your reasons for leaving…but quite frankly, despite the things that have happened to you…we have come to ask you to return to the church."
Father Herman stared at him silently for a few seconds upon those words. "…are you meaning to tell me…" He began slowly, after the silence had finally and quietly broken. "…that you brought me all the way out here…to ask me to come back?"
"Perhaps." Gandalf said, his smile never fading.
"But I had already made up my mind to go back!" Father Herman insisted, now looking simply irritated as he climbed to his feet and pointed an accusing finger at the other old man. "Out of my own free will! Kidnapping was not necessary!"
"Yes it was." Gandalf argued softly. "For asking you was not the only reason that we brought you here. There are several things you must be warned of, before you return."
The priest's blood ran cold. "…warned?"
"Yes, warned." The bearded man answered. "For though most that will come to confess to you will be sincere in what they say…there may be some that will not be."
"Like Gollum. Didja' see Gollum?" Pip suddenly spoke up from the back, looking very interested indeed until Merry hissed at him.
Father Herman could not bring himself to answer. There were some memories he knew he would just rather not relive, especially at a time like this. A time when he was being informed of more danger than he was already aware of…and a time when he was already beginning to double-think his reasons for going back to the church.
"But before you fall into despair, my good man, rest assure that with God in your midst, you shall be well-protected from the worst." Gandalf's voice turned a bit more cheerful as he continued to speak even after Father Herman alerted them all to his shocked silence. "After all, there is no better protection from evil than the Lord's grace. And you, Father, most definitely have that grace. And though I wouldn't necessarily test my protections…"
"…like getting too close to em' or somethin'…" Merry said seriously, nodding just like Gandalf as he said so, and Father Herman was once again terribly reminded of a looming, dark figure speaking in a hissy, terrible voice outside a decorated window…
"…you should be just fine as long as you stick to your job." The old man finished with a smile still spread across his bearded face. "And rest assure that your next retirement will be far more peaceful than this one has been."
"You cannot be certain of that." Father Herman said rapidly, panic still throbbing inside of him in a way that he never would have liked to have shown outwardly…but he could feel his eye twitching even as he spoke. "No one can be certain of that."
"Perhaps not." Gandalf said, still smiling as he passed his staff into his other wrinkled hand and cast a small, sweeping look around the room as if he were about to leave it for an extended period of time. "But I do have something that may help prepare you."
And Father Herman watched with rounded eyes as the old man reached into a fold of his white, white robes, pulling out a folded piece of parchment a moment later, unfolding it, and then handing it to the priest with a small wink. "Go on. Look inside." He said encouragingly.
If he hadn't been so numb, the priest might not have done so. After all…what if it was something that would further tell him of what dangers were to come? But seeing as he was indeed as numb as he was, he did end up opening the parchment, and inside, written as clear as day, were these words:
Father Herman,
Listed below are some of the names that you may need to be aware of as you return to the church for the duty of handling Confessions. Normally I would not administer such warnings to people like you, but seeing you have dealt with everything thus far…well, I thought I owed it to you.
Note these names:
Gandalf
Sam
Gimli
Théoden
Saruman
…and there is one other that I will not name for the sake of your mental health. But this parchment is sincerely signed in honor of a respected group called the "R&R Group".
Respects to Lina Baggins the Provider, Kabuki the Inspirer, "Almost Insane" the Encourager, and Linda of Hoyland the Enheartener.
- L.S.
Father Herman looked up from the parchment slowly, looking over in alarm at Gandalf with an expression on his face that held many different emotions indeed.
Yes, there was absolutely, certainly, and disasterously no denying it now.
He was, officially an undeniably, doomed.
--))--
(gasp gasp gasp) Oh my goodness, what do we have here? A conclusion about Father Herman's choice? A meeting with Gandalf? A letter from an unknown source? Oh, what could this possibly mean! Could it mean that…that ahead of us…we have more confessions! (gasp gasp) Surely it cannot be! (winks) You guys have done it yet again. And thank you all, once again, for your wonderful reviews!
-Review Responses-
almostinsane: Aw, thanks so much! (hugs)
Lina-Baggins: Ooohh, gotcha hook-line-and-sinker do I? (evil grin) Well, what better way to continue in this little parade than to update? Hehe. I'm so glad you're liking this so much, my friend! I sure do appreciate viewing your feedback. I'll try to update soon if the Winter Play at my school doesn't kill me too severely…
Kabuki733701: Yes! Goodie! I'm so glad you liked the chapter! (claps hands) I don't know what I'd do withoutcha'. If I didn't have your feedback…(eyes well up with tears) Meemeemeemee…I think I'd die. But, seeing as you have left me yet another wonderful review, I guess I can live. ;) Thank you so much for your compliments, mellon nin! I will try to update soon, and I will find SOME way to get that Stool shoved into these circumstances…(goes off to rummage through her Attic of Insane Ideas)
Lindahoyland: Ha! Gotcha, did I? (cackles evilly) Well, it just goes to prove that Merry and Pippin aren't exactly what they seem…meaning, they're either a lot smarter or a lot crazier than we think. (gulp) But anyway, I am VERY glad you liked the chapter, and I'll try not to keep you in suspense for too much longer:)