Chapter Two

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Beka: Over the last week, I've successfully gotten Rommie completely and violently obsessed with NCIS. Just… for the record.

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Plainride!

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"It's not a big case, really, so if you think about it, I mean, we should be fine," Probationary Agent Tim McGee attempted to rationalize as he leaned against the lab counter. Forensics specialist Abby Sciuto rolled her heavily made-up eyes in his direction.

"McGee, give it up. We're so violently screwed it's not even funny."

"It's also all Gibbs' fault," Officer Ziva David added, absently flipping through the casefile.

"Hey!" Abby spun on her. "It's not Gibbs' fault that he and Ducky got called away to that super-secret meeting in Chicago that us mere mortals aren't privy to details of."

"Tony's just gonna love this," McGee muttered. "He's just spent five days on vacation in Hawaii, and now we fly out there and get to inform him that he gets extra days on the island because an American navy lieutenant was murdered out there, and even better, Gibbs can't come so he gets command of the team."

Ziva cringed. "Tony in command of anything is a disturbing thought."

Abby stuck out her tongue. "I'm sure Tony'll be fine."

Ziva and McGee exchanged looks, which Abby took to mean 'yeah, right'. She rolled her eyes, and glanced over their heads to see Gibbs standing just outside her lab.

Wait, she signed at him hurriedly, a plan forming in her head. She turned back to McGee.

"Okay, so maybe this is Gibbs fault. It's gonna suck for you, McGee, being stuck with Tony in charge of you with no Gibbs to play referee. And Ziva," she turned to the other woman, "Tony's probably gonna make a shitload of rude comments and try to get you to sleep with him."

"I hate Gibbs!" moaned McGee, just as the lab doors slid open and Gibbs entered.

"That so, McGee?" the older man asked from right behind the younger agent. McGee jumped a foot in the air, and Abby was sure he almost wet his pants.

"Boss!" he exclaimed, obviously panicked.

Ziva was in silent hysterics over in the corner, while Abby cackled manically at her computer.

"Don't you people have a plain to catch!" Gibbs demanded.

Abby pouted. "Gibbs! I'm not going to be of any use… They can just send me back the samples… I won't have all my lab equipment out there—"

"Abby," he said warningly, and she fell silent, glaring at him when he wasn't looking.

"Call me if anything comes up," Gibbs said briskly.

"Like Tony's ever so tragic and completely accidental torturous death?" Ziva suggested. McGee snickered, Abby glared.

"I trust you can all work together with some semblance of professionalism," Gibbs said calmly, giving them all pointed glances.

"Uh huh!" Abby chirped. "We'll dress Tony up as Career Girl Barbie."

"He'd ask that you include the breasts," Ziva said flatly, which sent Abby and McGee into fresh peals of laughter.

"I'm sure he'd look stunning in pink high heals," Abby giggled.

"And a sparkly dress!" McGee added.

"And the handbag," Ziva added helpfully.

"Oh God, we need to do that on my laptop on the plain ride!" Abby gasped, convulsing with laughter.

"The plain which you're all going to miss if you don't hurry up," Gibbs snapped. "I assume you've all packed your animal crackers and juice boxes? Remember, nap time is at 14:00…"

"That's two o'clock," Abby said. "Just in case…you guys didn't know."

"I know," McGee said, as if defending his honor.

"Leave, please," Gibbs exclaimed. Abby scooped up her personal bag, her laptop case and her forensics kit, and pretended to stagger under the load.

"McGeeeeeee…help with my bags, please?" she whined, smiling innocently at him.

"OH, sure, Abby," he took her suitcase, adding it to his own burdens, and almost fell over.

"Oh, come on, use those manly muscles," Abby smirked.

"Let McGee bask in his femininity," Ziva grinned wickedly.

"I'm not—"

"Of course you're not, sweety," Abby said, patting his head. She bounced over to Gibbs, gave him a quick hug and ran out of the lab. Ziva strolled after her, leaving McGee to stagger along in their wake. Abby bounded down the corridor to the elevators, wiaitng for the others to catch up before entering.

"Do you think we have time to stop at Starbucks on the way?" she asked hopefully, bouncing in place.

"God no," McGee said, at the same time as Ziva said

"Absolutely not."

Abby sighed. "I was just asking…"