Oh, yes, I realize that Vic PROBABLY would have been promoted by now, however, he was passed up a few times due to some problems with Cresswell. If you like Vic, I feel sorry for you, this isn't a Vic story. ;) Vic's gonna get his head chewed off as many times as I can reasonably make it happen. ;)
Enjoy!
Thank you to: froggy0319, trekker4life, Abigaile, BlueJay, dansingwolf, Nix707, Tracy, LieutenantjgMegAustin, n.k, EY, jaggurl, LtCmdrFlygirl, Feverish Dream, ady, AgtDanaM, starryeyes10, DD2, KittyX, FoxyWombat, Dessler, JAGJenni, daisymh, Bite Beccy- for the feedback:)
Part 2 – Gunning Down Romance
"I'm gunning down romance
It never did a thing for me
But heartache and misery
It's nothing but a tragedy. . .Love don't leave me."
(AN: I absolutely LOVE this song. I can play it for HOURS for DAYS if I need to. It's from Savage Garden, and has just such raw emotion on it. I can't get enough. I guess, to best explain it, it's a song about a person who's addicted to love, but can't seem to actually get to the point where they are romantically involved with the right someone. It's definitely a Mac song. ;))
1430 Local
Joint Legal Services Southwest
San Diego, California
"Ma'am I need to have a word with you." From the moment she whooshed by him, Vuckovic was already trying to figure out what had the Colonel acting strangely. She had walked into the office without as much as a hello for anyone and then headed down the hall to the break room. That is where he found her, with her head cast down, her eyes glancing down into a cup of coffee as if it held answers for her. He was perturbed. Generally, Mac wasn't the type to mope around the office. So, he keenly deduced that something must have happened. "Ma'am?" Vic furled his brow, this woman, he STILL couldn't decipher, though he'd tried everything in his 'little book of charms' to get her to notice him. Not that he figured she'd have a wild and sweaty fling with him, but, he had to try to, at least, get in her good graces.
Vic had only been in the San Diego office for about three months. He was held back because Mac did not want him under her command. When he'd asked three years prior she'd flat out told him 'no.' And that was that. Well, not really, he also annoyed her every chance he could with calls to the office. Eventually, he'd annoyed Cresswell enough, someone had left Mac's command and they had shoved Vuckovic in, something that nauseated Mac every minute of every day. The only good thing that came out of it, was that Bud and Harriet were now in California as well. Bud was working on her staff and Harriet was in the IG office just like she was back at JAG. All in all, it worked out very well for her.
Mac glanced up (read: glared) at Vic, raising her eyebrow slightly in annoyance. "What do you want Lieutenant?" She didn't expect her voice to sound THAT annoyed, but not that it mattered, as an officer with a lower rank, she'd hoped he'd have the decorum not to answer back. Yea right!
"Ma'am, if I've done something to be on the receiving end of your ire, I apologize." He tried to be as sincere as possible, but it seemed, at least to Mac, that everything he tried was just some subterfuge and a way of seduction. She may have liked the attention at first, but did he really think his charms would sway a senior officer?
Sighing, she leaned against the counter, dumped out the coffee from her mug and then the coffee pot. "You squids have GOT to STOP making such piss poor coffee." She was irritated, she was pissed off and she was taking it out on anything she saw. Right now, the coffee pot looked like a good place to start. It was either that or rip Vuckovic's head off. Forcefully, she pulled the cabinet doors, grabbed the coffee, a filter, and started to make a stronger pot.
Vic grimaced as the spoonfuls of coffee just seemed to pile inside the filter. "That coffee is going to taste like radiator fluid." He said out loud, against his better judgment, then bit his tongue adding a "Ma'am," in order to pacify the situation.
"IS there something YOU want, Lieutenant? Or are you intent on watching me make coffee? I have news for you, it's a very basic thing: the water goes in, the coffee goes in and by the magic of technology it percolates." Mac had purposely bought, with her own money, one of the types of coffee pots that allows you to pour yourself a cup then slide the carafe back under without stopping the cycle. Taking advantage, she poured herself a cup and took a sip. Successfully biting back a wince at the extremely bitter taste, she glared at Vic who was saying something, but the words were just not computing. "What was that?"
"Ma'am, I needed your assistance on the Hayward case. . . The appeal came in? Remember? It's a case that you and Commander Rabb worked on together a few years ago?" Oh, that did it. Just with a mention of Harm's name, she was sent over the edge.
"Later, Lieutenant." And, just like that, she left him there, pouting, as she headed to her office and slammed the door which was the wildly known signal that no one was to bother the Colonel. Slowly, she placed the coffee on the desk, then slid into her comfy chair with a long sigh. "Get a grip. . .C'mon, Get a grip, Mac."
Trying to reach for the coffee cup had been futile, the moment it slid into her hands, they began shaking something awful. Some coffee spilled out of the cup and along the desk. She did her best to dab it with Kleenex, but ended up using the whole box. "Steady, Marine!" She had been fine on the drive over, well, actually, she hadn't. The drive over had managed to, somewhat, calm her shaky nerves and whirlwind thoughts. But, the moment Vuckovic had mentioned Harm, she'd lost it. "Damnit, this isn't happening. . .This isn't real. I didn't SEE him today. . ."
Rain began to tap at her window, looking out she could see the heavy weather moving in. 'Good.' She thought, 'It matches how I am feeling now.' Mac never thought there would be a reunion of sorts between the two of them. For all she knew, he was still in London and they were estranged. Estranged – Such an odd word to describe your best friend - the man she was in love with. Yes, WAS, as in PAST TENSE. She didn't love Harm anymore. She refused to pine over him and nearly succeeded. In fact, she'd managed to make herself believe it. Until today.
Closing her eyes, Mac envisioned Harm's face. He did look good today, dressed in civvies. The way he spoke, there was a wistfulness there and a sense of hope. Shaking her head she snorted. "Don't press your luck, flyboy." She wasn't falling for him again. She DIDN'T want to be friends with him again. Being Harm's friend meant having your heart broken time and time again and having some rude, snide remarks thrown in your face. Though she was strong and capable, there were SOME things that she couldn't take and that was one of them. He was practically laughing at her today, his actions being of someone who thought nothing bad had happened between them. But, it had.
In a way, she was happy they'd never become lovers, the parting they had at McMurphy's would have certainly killed her. Not that they would have been 'lovers' anyway. Didn't there have to be some sort of love going through both participants? It was clear, by his words and his actions, that though he did care for her as a friend, that was all it was – caring. He didn't love her, he even said so with such conviction that it broke her. That night, as she went home to prepare for her own flight, she cried so hard, mourning a love she was sure would, eventually, come to fruition. But, he didn't love her; never did, and that chemistry between them that once she thought of as: undeniable, was nothing but attraction. Nothing more, nothing less – just a physical attraction. Maybe love was just a chemical reaction of the brain?
"That would explain a lot." She thought out loud as vivid images of her latest, of three failed California relationships, danced behind her closed eyelids. Michael was actually a very nice guy – at first. He wined and dined her, much like Dalton had and Mac fell into her common despair, the need to be wanted. But being wanted by Michael meant being practically owned by him. She hadn't realized this until five months in, when things were starting to get really heavy.
March 2009
Mac's Home
San Diego, California
"Let's move in together." Michael Rose was a former Captain in the Marine Corps, he'd been out for nearly five years and since he'd become a government contractor. When he retired from the corps, he gave no reason what so ever, just that he was on to greener pastures. Michael was a pretty good guy, one that Mac was starting to have a fondness for. However, there was something he was hiding, a whole other world that he'd been keeping from her.
Mac nearly choked on what she was eating and nearly gulped down an entire glass of water in the process. She liked Michael, yes. But, she wasn't in love with him. In fact, she barely even loved him. Like Mic, she knew that, eventually, her feelings would change, that she would warm up to him a bit more. However, after just five months of dating, she wasn't ready to go exclusive with him. The gravity of it all hit as he sat there, patiently waiting for her to compose herself and answer. "Ah. . .Michael."
"I can move over here, rent out my apartment. . .It would be wonderful waking up to you every morning, beautiful." He placed a hand on her cheek, caressing softly as his eyes tried to convey his feelings for her. But, Mac turned away, moving his hand from her cheek. She quickly stood up, her movement turning a chair over. "Sarah?" He stood as well, moving closer to her. "Baby?"
Since Clay, she'd vowed to herself to not get caught up in the moment. To not let confessions of love do her in as they had in the past. And she'd done a good job of it, thus far not letting any man's words of love or kindness do her in as they did before. "Michael, I care about you, but. . .I'm not ready for this."
What he did next she wouldn't quiet expect. Marine training or not, when you've been going out with a guy for several months, you were at the point where you knew their demons. Michael was practically an open book to her, not to mention, she'd looked over his USMC files prior to them going out. He seemed safe, hell, he WAS safe and treated her better than any other man she'd been with. "Not ready?" He stood up and moved around the table with a deep look of aggression in his eyes. "Sarah, we've been together for nearly HALF a year. . .HALF a year. . .That's like a small lifetime. . . I know you love me."
"Michael. . .I'm not ready to move in with anyone. . . I've had one disaster of a relationship after the other. . .let's just take it easy okay?" That's when he grabbed her by the arms. Her breath hitched, but that was the only show of pain and discomfort. "Let go." She said in a threatening voice as she glared up at him.
Mac should have seen it coming, but she was preparing for her own strike against the man. "No." He shoved her against the kitchen cabinet, her side connecting with a crunch. If her ribs weren't broken, she knew they were at least bruised. Even with the sharp pain, she turned and swung, connecting with his jaw. But, the force of the blow wasn't nearly as strong or calculated as it should have been. On the norm she could have taken him down, but this time, it wasn't the case. "Bitch!" He went towards her and even as Mac's fist connected with him again, his rage was stronger, unwilling to break.
He hit her once, hoping it would knock her out, but id didn't. "Goddamned Marine Corps!" He spat out, hating that women like Mac were just a bit too prepared for his taste. So, he struck her again and with his forward momentum slammed her against the wall.
"AH!" She yelped out as her back made contact with the wall. Michael tried to sneak a hand under her skirt, to claim her violently. His other hand was wrapped around her throat, squeezing slightly. "Michael. . .please." She knew fighting wouldn't cut it, in fact, it's the opposite of what women are told to do in those situations. So she stopped resisting and swallowed hard the disgust as she changed tactics. "Michael. . (.)I want you. . .I am. . .just. . .scared." She squeaked out as she felt her head becoming heavy, her lungs begging for air. That's when he let go of her throat. Gasping for air slightly, she leaned forward, moving her lips to his neck, kissing him sensuously there.
Michael shivered, his body tensing from the pleasure of having this control over her. "I'm sorry, baby. . .I'm sorry." He pressed her harder into the wall, allowing for Mac's caresses to sooth him. "But, I need you. . .so badly." He was trying to undo his pants, to finish what he started, to take her forcefully. But, it never happened.
The moment he cast his head down in order to see what he was doing; Mac struck. She head butted Michael as hard as possible, leaving him momentarily dazed. Next, using one of the Marine battle tactics she learned at Leatherneck Square, she attacked. Mac knew the exact points of the body to hit. Points that would incapacitate but not kill, though it was difficult not to do the latter. Only when Michael was laying on the floor in a state of semi-consciousness was she able to reach the phone. Her breath was shaky, as were her hands. Mac normally would not call for help and just simply kick her attacker out on his ass, but she had to be smart about this. After everything she went through with Chris, she was unwilling to have something similar occur. "Hello, police. . .I'm Lieutenant Colonel Sarah MacKenzie, US Marine Corps. . .A man I've been seeing just tried to attack me. . ."
1500 Local
Joint Legal Service Office Southwest
San Diego, California
As she sat in her office, her stomach churned partially from the non-drinkable coffee, partially from thinking about Michael. Her problems with him didn't quite end with his arrest. No, she found out, about a week later, that he was with her for a different reason. She had put his brother away, apparently for a bum UA charge. As a result, the man had been killed by MPs for attempting to escape. Michael never recovered and though it would be the MPs' fault for his brother's death, most of the blame he rested on Mac's shoulders, the woman who put him away in the first place. Sighing, she took the cup of coffee and poured it into the potted tree at the corner of her office. She'd been reprimanded for dating Michael, though there was no way she could possibly know his intentions.
Not everything had gone badly for her in San Diego. For the most part, she liked it here, more than DC. Being a desert rat, as she considered herself, she preferred the heat and humidity to the harsh winter. Okay, so her love life sucked and the base CO, Rear Admiral Jacob N. Schilling, who usually had a bug up his six, didn't like her (he had a thing against women in leadership positions), but she'd learned to deal with it. After the stint with Michael, she threw herself completely into her work and decided to ignore the other gender.
On the friendship side of things, she had Jen, whom she spent some Saturday's with just doing girly things. Of course, Monday through Friday, they were all business. Thankfully, as General Creswell was ordered by the SECNAV to restructure JAG Headquarters, Bud and Harriet had been shipped West. She did as much as possible to accommodate them, even finding a doctor suitable to take care of Bud's medical troubles. With Harriet around, she also had someone to talk to, to confide in. It was a replacement for the person she would normally discuss things with, but given the last four years without him and the two prior to that when they were barely friends, Mac had eventually come to need a confidante, a true friend.
"Ma'am?" Petty Officer Jennifer Coates stood at Mac's doorway holding a fresh cup of coffee and the files that Vuckovic had needed Mac to look over. He'd practically begged Jen to take them in, seeing as he didn't want to cause the Colonel to dislike him more than she already did. "Colonel MacKenzie? Ma'am?" Jen had knocked a good three times before deciding to let herself in. Even then, as she called out to the Colonel, the older woman had not budged. Wincing, knowing that she would likely startle Mac, she walked in, placed the file and coffee cup on her desk, then opted to touch the Colonel on her shoulder. "Ma'am?"
Mac spun around quickly, "WHAT! Oh. . .Jen. . .I'm." She shook herself out of her reverie and glanced up at the Petty Officer who was turning white. "I'm sorry. . .You startled me. . .and I thought you were Vuckovic."
Jen slid the coffee cup towards Mac and smiled slightly. "Seeing as the last batch was undrinkable, I opted to bring you a fresher cup." Taking the files she placed them in Mac's hand. "These are from Lieutenant Vuckovic, ma'am. . .I am sorry for bringing them into you without you asking, but the Lieutenant was. ." 'Being a pain in the ass.' She wanted to say, but opted for a softer blow. ". . . looking rather desperate."
Chuckling, Mac took the files and placed them on the desk. "I know you want to call him a pain in the ass, Coates."
Smiling knowingly, Jen resisted the urge to nod. "It's a good thing you can't read minds, ma'am." Though she'd originally been amused with Vic's boyish charms, something about being hit on, in the work place, by an officer, felt wrong. More than wrong, it irritated her, greatly. Jennifer Coates may have been a lot of things, but a piece of meat, she wasn't. "If you need me ma'am, let me know."
With a sigh, Mac flipped open the report, but the words started to blur. She remembered the case too well, it was one of the many that had her and Harm running in circles, each of them coming up with a conclusion only to find that, in the end, both of them were wrong. Biting the inside of her cheek to prevent herself from screaming, she decided to take a passive approach to the report – she would pretend she was an outsider. It was the only way she got through it without losing her mind.
Next Day
1450 Local
Bud and Harriet's House
San Diego, California
"The Colonel seems awfully out of sorts today, doesn't she?" Bud pointed out to his wife, as they spied on Mac who was in the living room playing with the twins – Alex and Amy. "Yesterday she was chewing everyone's head off."
Harriet shook her head. Though she knew very damned well that Mac was a force to be reckoned with, the senior officer wasn't the type to lash out on people just because. There was a hidden reason and Harriet being. . .well, Harriet, had to find out why. "Go play with the boys, Bud. . .I'll see what I can find out. . .Maybe we can help?"
Walking into the living room she found the twins using their godmother as a jungle gym. "Woah, hang on there Alex, Aunty Mac needs that arm." Chuckling, she took the four year old and began tickling all over, laughing along with him. Amy just stood back, laughing at her brother.
"Mac, you should quit JAG and just come work for me. . .I'll pay you top dollar." With a wink, she sat on the sofa, took Amy and placed her on her lap.
"You know, four is a BIT too much for me, thanks." Mac placed a squirming Alex down and he immediately went to his toys, his sister following soon after. "They are beautiful, though. . .all your kids are."
Harried nodded. "Yea, they are. . ." One day, amongst girl talk, Mac had let her condition slip. Instead of the pity she thought she'd receive, Harriet was sympathetic, caring, understanding, things that she knew men really wouldn't understand. At least, Harm didn't, though he tried. Ever since, she'd been careful when it came to talking about kids or pregnancy. Ever since, Harriet felt braver in asking the Marine about her private life. "Mac. . .You know, we've been friends for a long time and. . .well, as a friend. . .what's wrong?"
With those last words, Mac paled. If she were hiding something, at the moment, there was no doubt about it. She could have denied it, in fact, it would have been easy to play possum, she'd done it before. She knew that if the conversation was changed, Harriet would follow along because they respected her. However, part of her needed to get this out. With a sigh, she settled into the sofa, biting her lower lip apprehensively. "I saw him."
"Him?"
"Harm."
The word was said, slowly and so low, that Harriet barely heard. "Where did you see him?"
"Here."
"In San Diego?"
"Yes."
Through the years, Harriet and Bud had tried to keep in touch with Harm, but the change in time zones along with the ever piling mounds of work, kept them from being very social. Then came another little tid bit, that Harm wouldn't admit – calling the Roberts reminded him too much of home. And when you are a man, trying to start your life over again, home wasn't a place you wanted to recall. "I lost touch with him almost. . .two years ago? Yea, I think that's it. . .I didn't know he was here."
"I wasn't suggesting you did, Harriet." The younger woman just didn't know, though Mac figured she probably had an inkling of an idea. Hell, everyone had an inkling of an idea when it came to the nature of hers and Harm's relationship. But to know just how COMPLICATED it was? That was a whole different bottle of wax. "He and I parted badly that night at McMurphy's. . .We. . .I guess we both just decided we didn't need each other in our lives. . .and then, out of the blue he shows up and. . ."
"And?"
Sighing, Mac sat up, propping her elbows on her knees, her head in her hands. "And I am not sure I want him in my life." There, she said it, but why was it that she felt this slight pang of guilt? "Actually, I am sure I don't want him in my life."
"Mac, I won't pretend to know what went on, but I know some – things, were odd between you and Harm. . .But maybe this happened for a reason?"
Yea, things happened for a reason, and she knew the reason for this. "Yea, to torment me."
"Hey, no one says you have to up and be friends with him again, but he did care for you an awful lot."
Mac sat in awe of Harriet, wishing there were so many more good hearted persons like her. "Would you accept him back into your life, knowing that he left and didn't bother to stay in contact?" 'Knowing that the man you loved told you that he didn't love you back?' She wanted to add that last bit, but thought against it. Too much information.
Harriet shrugged. "He was a good friend. . .I understand him wanting or needing to let things go seeing as he was so far away from his homeland. . .Everyone deserves a chance, Mac. . .you never know, you two might get it right this time." She let that last statement flow, testing the waters as to what exactly the Marine felt for her ex partner. Studying Mac carefully, she noticed a look of determination.
"There's nothing to get right." Why couldn't people just see that she and Harm weren't meant to be together? Things would be so much easier that way.
"By that, of course, I meant your friendship, Mac. . What did you think I meant?" She smiled a seemingly sweet smile, but, in her eyes was a look of mischief. If Harm and Mac did get friendly again, maybe she might have to work out a reason for them to explore being something more?
-----
n.k: Powerful? Hmmm, dunno about it being that, but it's got its moments. I think it's a mixture of things angst, humor, romance, etc. :) They will be happier in chapters to come. I just wanted to do a fic that worked on their friendship before tossing all of the emotions back into the mix. I mean, they are still there, but, friendship first. Lots of sex later. ;)
EY: The Future scenes are meant to torture you. ;) The last one, specifically was difficul to put together but very rewarding since it will come off of a really interesting conversation. Wow, Harm and Mac, conversation. Words to live by. ;)
Jaggurl: Thank you!
LtCmdrFlygirl: Interesting? Yep, I thought so too. I remember, when I started writing it I was like "Yea! Let them fight." I am ove rthat. ;)
FeverishDream: Poor Harm? The jackass flat out tells the woman he loves that he doesn't love her. I mean, what kind of sick shit is that? Gunny rocks! He'll be around, I won't say A LOT, but some. Since he's with Harm. You'll find out more about thier work in the next chapter and three after that where Harm takes Mac on a stakeout. Trish and Frank are with Mattie on a cruise. Maybe later in the story. I mean, the man NEEDS someone to push him. Hey, I might have Trish play matchmaker. ;)
Ady - Update, update, update! Sheesh! Bossy people! ;) But you said please, so that's cool. ;)
AgtDanaM: Lately everyone here has a Crown Vic you can get an old interceptor for pretty cheap so it's why I had the boys have one. But, yea, I like the SUV thing, reminds me of the cars used in La Femme Nikita. ;) Any other advice is appreciated. :D
Starryeyes: Thank you!
DD2: Thank you! Is this soon enough:) Don't answer that, I know it will be NO! ;)
Kittyx: So you think it's GREAT? Well, is it better than sliced bread? ;)
FoxyWombat: Yes, I had to tease you, and why shouldn't I? I must keep my evilness going. :) BTW, when are you updating huh?
Dessler: I AM BACK! Run now! ;) Tension will start to disappear about five chappies in or so. They come to an "agreement" of sorts to learn to be friends again. My vacation was nice! I went St. Augustine, Savannah and Disney. No, didn't do the parks, we stayed at their RV park, but I had fun though. Rode some little speedboat. ;)
JAGJenni: Oh the teasers was just like a warning that even though things are bad now, they will get betterish. ;)
Daisymh: Here's more, hope you love this one too. ;)
BiteBeccy: I'm mean! YAY! Yes, I love to do this. I live for this. ;)
LtJgMeg: Yea, me too when I wrote it. I was like "Bastard! How could you tell her you don't love her! JERK!"I am over it though cos I know something you guys don't know. ;)
Tracy: Hope you remain hooked, we have a ways to go. :)
Nix707: Harm as a PI was always in the frame work for the story. Would be interesting with him and Gunny. I mean, Gunny was a cop and Harm has investigative skill and a knowledge of the law. Coming to a screen near you Hammer and Gunny! ;) Vic sucks. But, yea, he is going to tick Harm off BIG TIME in two chapters. So much that Harm has to put the kid in his place. I liked Sturgis, but these last two years have been like UGH!I just don't want to deal with him. Who knows? He might pop up at some point but I doubt it.
Dansingwolf: Psycho Ex's in general as Mac's guy isn't all too stable either. ;) Yea, the ending for JAG was happy, but too wrapped up in a little bow. Regardless of David leaving, they should have moved the plot of Harm and Mac better and if the show was renewed then, have them either date and have Mac be like "Oh this weekend I went to see Harm." Dunno, I am not sure they really knew what to do with the show after season 8. This I put together when I was pissed off at the lack of progress and the misunderstandings so I was like: screw it! And, as things progressed, the ideas grew. It'll be interesting, I think. :) Harm moved because of Sicko Susan and he just lost his love for the law. He's not gone competely, has a reservest billet where he is flying.
BlueJag: Glad to be back! I live to tease you guys! Okay, that sounds sick. :P
Abigaile: Those are in some sort of order - the teasers I mean. It's the teasers for the first like five or six chapters but the last one is actually about the eleventh chapter, maybe the twelvth since I had added and re-written the story. No, it's not completely done but it is semi-outlined. Hence, I know that some things are going to happen, just don't know when.
Trekker4life: Thank you! And although I am not a Trekkie, cool name!
Froggy: Yea, Harm just sucked! It's like YOU MORON! Yea, I am not happy without angst. ;) We'll just have to deal. :D