"Sara? It's me, Grissom. You know me," he said confused.
"Who is Sara? Why do you keep calling me that?" she panicked, pushing the call button.
"You're Sara, Sara Sidle, and you and I work together," he replied, trying to calm her down.
"What's a CSI? I don't know who you are! Nurse!" she cried out.
"Please, Sara it's me, Grissom!"
Her eyes filled with horror as he pleaded with her, and she began to frantically call for the nurse, her heart monitor beeping loudly, "Nurse! Get out! Just get out!"
The nurse came running into the room, looking from Grissom who was standing next to the bed in shock, to Sara, who had tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave," the nurse ordered, as he slowly backed out of the room.
She shut the door on him, and he moved against the wall, still trying to understand what had just taken place. How could she not know me? What happened? He thought to himself, as he slumped into a chair, his head in his hands.
Getting no answer on Grissom's cell, Catherine decided to swing by the hospital again to tell him the news in person. She walked down the hall, and then made a detour towards Clara's room first, deciding to find out if there was any change. Outside the door to the room sat a woman with dark hair, with a look of concern on her face. Catherine knew who she was.
"Tina?" she said.
The woman looked up at her, "Yes?"
"I'm Catherine Willows, I work with Warrick. I don't think I got the chance to properly introduce myself earlier."
"Oh it's ok. It was rude of me to not introduce myself either. But I was just so worried about Warrick after I heard about that explosion. Thank you so much for making sure he got here. He can be so stubborn sometimes," she said, extending her hand to Catherine, who took it.
"Well now we have. Nice to meet you. Where is he?" Catherine replied, looking around. She didn't really feel to comfortable talking to his wife alone.
"I sent him home to get some sleep, well more like pass out on pain killers. He didn't want to leave, but he needed to rest. I told him I would stay for awhile, then call someone else to go home to wake him."
"I see. How is Clara doing? And Nick?" Catherine said, glancing at the door.
"There's been no change, and Nick won't leave her side for anything, but I don't blame him."
"Has he rested at all?"
"Not since the doctors cleared him to wait outside the OR."
Catherine shook her head, "I feel so bad for him. He's got to be going through hell right now."
Tina nodded in agreement, then stopped to look at Catherine, "Me too," she paused, "You know, you're the one person 'Rick doesn't talk to me about. He's told me everything about work, mentioned your name, but nothing more. I can't seem to figure out why. I know you two work a lot of cases together, but he just stops when the subject comes to you. Are you two fighting?"
Catherine starred at the other woman, a little shocked at what she had just said, "No," she replied slowly.
"It's just that after what happened to Nick, he told me a lot, especially about how close everyone is with each other, how Nick's like his brother, and Grissom is almost a father figure to him. But he never really talks about you. He just says you work cases together, and then he gets this look on his face. He just kind of stares off, doesn't say much,"
"Really?"
"Yeah. The funny thing is, well maybe not so funny, but he's called me by your name a few times. Like this one time, he thought I was asleep, but I wasn't yet, and I heard him whisper 'good night Cath.' Maybe what I mean to ask is, did you two ever have a relationship that he's not telling me about?"
Catherine was taken aback and stumbled with her answer, "What?…Tina, no," she looked at her feet, "No, we've never…we're just friends…co-workers…that's all."
"Is that really it?"
Catherine heard what she was saying, and knew that this woman needed the truth, like she had needed with Eddie.
"Wow…I guess I'll tell you what I told 'Rick. I told him, the thing that makes a fantasy great is the possibility that it might come true. When it doesn't it kind of sucks. I guess you could say that I had one, but it's gone now," she lied, hiding the pain in her voice, "I would never do anything to get between you and Warrick. I swear. And he loves you, trust me on that, he does."
Tina turned to face the blonde, tears forming in her eyes, "I don't know if he does because I think he still has fantasies about you," she said, standing up and nearly running down the hospital hallway.
Catherine lowered her head, her blonde hair hiding the tears and guilt in her own eyes.
"Mr. Grissom?"
His eyes shot up to the nurses', somewhat startled by her voice, "Yes? Will she see me?"
"You really gave her a scare. We had to sedate her, but she will see you. Though if she asks you to go again, or if there are any signs that it is stressing her out to much, then you must go. Understand?" she said, eyeing him like a child about to cause trouble.
"Yes, of course."
"Good. Then you can go in. I haven't told her much, just that she was in a building that collapsed, which is why she's here. I don't know if she's ready for the whole story."
"Alright."
He walked over to the door and slowly opened it. Sara was lying in the bed, her eyes looking tired.
"Hi," he said cautiously, moving towards her side, "How are you feeling?"
"Tired," she replied, "And confused."
"Is there anything I can do to help?"
"Tell me who I am, who you are. The nurse said to ask you."
"You're Sara Sidle, and I'm Gil Grissom. We're both CSIs," he started.
"If I am this Sara, then how come I can't remember being her? And I don't remember you, or anything for that matter…this is so frustrating," she sniffed, her eyes glazing.
"Oh honey, don't cry…you'll get through this."
"But I don't know who I am! You say I'm Sara Sidle, but that means nothing to me."
"You are her, and she is an excellent CSI, wonderful friend, and a beautiful person."
She wiped at her tears, "Is she? What about you? Who are you to her?"
He wasn't expecting that question, "I'm…I'm a few different things I think. I'm Sara's supervisor, but at the same time, we're friends, good friends…and I care about you greatly."
"You do?"
"More than anything."
"….I wish I could say the same thing, but I can't…I'm sorry."
He sighed, his face falling a little, "You don't have to be. I just hope I haven't lost my chance," he said quietly.
She yawned, her eyes looked heavy, "I'm sorry Mr. Grissom. I wish I could bring Sara back to you, but I can't."
He thought it was so odd to hear that coming from her, the Sara he had known for so long. It hurt so much to hear those words.
"You should rest now. We can talk some more later," he said past the lump in his throat. He got up and headed towards the door as she closed her eyes.
Outside the room Grissom hung his head as he leaned against the wall. He tried to hide the tears falling down his cheeks.
Nick held her hand as the hours ticked by. There was no change.
"Please…please…come back to me. Just stay with me…" he pleaded, hoping somehow she could hear him.
Hold on to me love
You know I can't stay long
All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms?
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
All my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light
It ends here tonight
To be continued…
The song is "My Last Breath" by Evanescence, which I also do not own, just borrowing it.
Thanks for sticking with my story throughout the long waits! I know it's the weekend, but I have 2 papers to write, so it may be some time before another post. Hope this tides you all over. -L