Okie dokie, here's part 12. I had to re-write it. Actually, a lot of things are being re-written, the original one had some argument and I wasn't in the mood for Harm and Mac to argue at the moment. I don't like this part save for an chat with Mac and Harriet. I liked it less with the argument, so I just removed it. ;)

Anyway. . .Part 13 or 14 will get them where you guys all want them to be. Think SMOOCH and possibily a little roll in the hay. Unsure if it will be X Rated, doubtful, haven't been in the smut mood. Live with it people. ;) Not that I can post it here, but I'll let you know if I write it and how you can read it. You sickos! ;)

Enjoy!

Jackie

PART 12 – In The Middle Of A Heart Beat

1345 Local
Roberts' Residence
San Diego, California

Nothing came up the morning after they had, technically, slept together. Not in the biblical sense, mind you, but to Mac, who had spent about a month without a good night's sleep, being in Harm's arms meant the world. The morning wasn't awkward at all, simply nice, sweet. They exchanged light conversation, a few laughs but he'd ignored that kiss altogether. Mac had figured that her boldness would mean something to him. Maybe it would be the catalyst that would send them down the right path. Though Harm didn't out right reject her, she still felt a pain that mirrored the kind she felt on the ferry in Sydney. She'd put the ball solidly in his court again and nothing happened. She'd been literally caught again in the middle of a heartbeat.

From the Robert's kitchen she stood over the sink, glancing out the window to find Harm, Bud and the kids playing in the yard. She chuckled when little AJ tackled Harm, sending him to the ground. Quickly Jimmy and the twins jumped on him, all trying to pin him down like the little people in Gulliver's Travels. Mac had long since given up on the idea of even a four percent chance of having a child. She settled for watching and helping her godchildren grow. Still, there was something about seeing Harm with them that made this hidden ache inside of her manifest. Maybe Dr. McCool was right when she suggested that a Harm's idea for a 5 year 'baby' time table and her willingness to agree was a subconscious attempt at subterfuge.

Shaking her head out of her thoughts, Mac finish helping with Harriet's famous chicken salad. "Just slip it in the fridge then we can veg out while the boys mind the kids." As much as she loved being a mother, Harriet also loved her alone time and dishing the kids out on Harm and Bud was a godsend. She grabbed the pitcher of lemonade, two wine glasses and headed towards the living room with Mac in tow.

Mac slipped into the sofa with a long sigh. It was nice, for once, not to be alone; to have friends. Her first few months out in San Diego were pleasant, but she missed Harriet and Bud, the kids. She missed Harm - a fact that she hid well. "I'm really glad you guys are here. . .I've told you that, right?"

Harriet swallowed down a gulp of lemonade and chuckled, "Several times. . .And we're glad to be here. . .I was telling Bud the other day, we should have just jumped at the chance. . .Ops wasn't the same without you or Harm there."

"I like that you call us by our first names. I have to wrestle Bud to stop calling me 'ma'am.'" She said with a smirk. "It's been nice having Harm around too. . .I mean, nice to have a roomie." She blushed slightly, hoping she didn't give away just how much she enjoyed having Harm around. Her friend's next question blew her COMPLETELY out of the water.

"So have you and Harm. . .You know?" Harriet was practically beaming. Her smile was uncharacteristically wicked and by the look on Mac's face, she knew this was going to be difficult.

Mac chose to hide behind ignorance. "Have we what?" Not that it mattered because stalling would just make Harriet want to know more.

"Oh, come on Mac. . .You aren't working together anymore so you can't hide behind military protocol forever. . . there's nothing standing in the way but your pride." If their past conversations gave her much to go on, Harriet knew Mac was in love with Harm and she doubted it would be possible for the Marine to shake those feelings despite their past. "I mean, you two are living together now"

"That doesn't mean a thing!" Defensively Mac stated. She reached over to a glass of lemonade that was sitting on the coffee table and took a long gulp. "It's not. . .it's not that simple." No it wasn't simple, things between she and Harm never were and probably never would be. Maybe he was right when he said that things were complicated; she was wrong to believe otherwise. A shaky breath was the indication to the amount of emotion she was feeling. Damnit, why did things between them have to be so difficult? Then again, maybe it didn't have to be. "I don't want to lose him. . .We spent too much time apart as it is. . .If it happens again, this time, I don't think I'd recover." She sighed deeply as if the admission cost her something.

Harriet hadn't intended to make Mac uncomfortable, she just wanted her friend to react and admit that she still had feelings for Harm. "Why would you lose him?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Again, the Marine snapped back rapidly feeling suddenly guilty at the sad look on her friends face. Harriet was trying to hard to make sure she was happy, why couldn't she see that this wasn't the route to take? "We've lost each other so many times before. . .Why would this work now?"

"Do you believe in fate?"

Fate? It really wasn't something that Mac thought of because fate had never been kind to her before. "It brought us together. . .sort of."

Nodding in agreement, Harriet moved towards the edge of the sofa, reaching out to place a hand over Mac's. "It can keep you together forever."

It would have been easy to give in to that temptation. To believe that everything was right in the world which mean that she and Harm had a future. But if anything, their past dictated one thing, "Fate has never been kind to either of us. . ."

"Sometimes you need to manipulate fate. . ."

Mac clenched her jaw, she hated this negativity that sometimes came over here when she thought about her and Harm, but she couldn't help it. "If it needs manipulating, it isn't fate, Harriet."

Harriet stood up quickly, letting out a truly unfeminine grunt. Things between Harm and Mac had driven her nuts when they were back at Falls Church. Now, it was worse. There weren't any reasons that she could see why the two couldn't be together. "Mac, there's a reason, some sort of wonderful and cosmic reason why, even after four years of being angry with each other, you've been put back at the beginning."

"I guess." She still couldn't help but feel dejected and she had a good reason. Just as she couldn't take away that 'never' comment, his statement that he didn't love her still made her heart ache physically. So much for not wanting to feel over Harm anymore. "Harriet, maybe we're only made to be friends you know?" She added with a sigh, sinking herself further into the sofa.

"Oh please, Mac! No matter what you do, you can't run away from him. . .and he can't run away from you. . .it's like you're. . .Intrinsic." Harriet settled herself next to her friend, grinning impishly.

"Intrinsic?" Just what the hell was her friend trying to say?

"Things that are intrinsic belong to each other. . .You belong to him just as much as he belongs to you."

"Hmmm." Mac took a long sip of the lemonade, giving up a moment of silence while she contemplated what Harriet had just told her. "Intrinsic, huh? So why then. . .Why doesn't he ever react to me?. . .Trying to get Harm to show some intent towards is like banging your head against a brick wall."

Harriet raised an eyebrow in amusement. Okay, so it wasn't a full out 'I love him' confession that she wanted to hear, but it was a start. "Does that mean you've made a move? Recently?"

Had she made a move? Well, a kiss could be considered a move. True, it wasn't one of those passionate, toe curling, Earth shattering kisses, but she felt something. Didn't he? "We kissed. . .Actually, I kissed him the other night. . ."

"How was it?"

Mac shrugged, "It was nothing. . .I mean just a quick peck on the lips. Nothing to write home about." She shifted nervously hating to admit any of this to her friend. "Nothing else happened." Her voice was laden with the deep disappointment she felt. "I. . .maybe this is all we're meant to be?" She said low enough for Harriet to miss.

Outside, Harm was running around with Jimmy attached to his back. "Alright, buddy, Uncle Harm needs a break." He put the child down, then headed over to the picnic table which Bud was resting on. "Jesus they are a handful." Chuckling, he settled down across from Bud and happily took a long pull from the beer that was set in front of him. "Ah, thanks Bud."

"Not a problem, sir."

Harm gave Bud the evil eye. "Bud, it's Harm. . .HARM not sir. . .and Mac's, MAC not ma'am." He shook his head in amusement, not sure that the younger man would ever allow himself to break that military formality. "You'd think we were acquaintances or something."

"Okay, Harm." Stretching out, he glanced over to his children and then towards Harm to find a sad expression on his face. "Something wrong?"

Was something wrong? Quite frankly, things in Harm's life were at a jumble at the current moment. His thoughts were running a million miles an hour. "Just thinking, Bud. . .I envy you sometimes. . .You have everything I ever wanted."

"Wife and kids?"

Harm nodded slowly, sighing when he thought about the other woman inside the Robert's home. She was it for him, he decided that long ago. Then what had made him stop all possibilities of them being together? Why was it that each and every time she made a move, he froze or ran away? Worst of all, why did he tell her he didn't love her when it was just the opposite. If anything, he loved her now more than ever. Being in her arms last night, didn't quite help. True, he was detached, doing it because she needed physical comfort, but when she kissed him, he nearly became unglued.

What was that supposed to mean anyway? That she wanted him? If that were the case, the feeling was mutual. But, with Mac he didn't want just the intimate aspects of a relationship, he wanted everything. He just wasn't sure she was willing to give him her all. "It would be nice to have a family. . .of some form." His eyes glanced towards the Roberts' home where he found Mac and Harriet stepping outside each sitting down on a patio chair. Sighing, he turned his attention back to Bud. "But, I figure, if the Navy wanted me to have a wife, they'd issue me one." His attempt at humor was a bit sick, something that he'd used in the past to cover up the reasons why he was unwed and unattached.

Leaning in, Bud caught Harm's attention completely with a sentence that sent him in a slight whirlwind. "Harm, didn't the Navy issue you one already?" He motioned towards Mac, waving over at the girls before turning back to his friend. "You can stop denying whatever it is that you and the Col. .. I mean, Mac, have."

Beer spewed out of Harm's mouth as he coughed violently. With a grimace he wiped away some of the beer that came out of his nose and glared at Bud who was out right laughing at him. Roughly, he took a napkin that was offered and dabbled his clothing slightly. "Thanks, Bud."

"Guess I struck a nerve." The younger man said nonchalantly, his grin beaming even more so as his mentor seemed severely uncomfortable. "Harm. . .why don't you just admit that you love her?"

Groaning, Harm placed his head on the table. 'Not Bud, too!' He thought, wishing for the moment that he could be invisible. What was it with people lately? Why did they all seem to want to patch him up? Even speaking with Mattie a few evenings ago, she had, hinted that maybe it was time to take a step with Mac. And it wasn't that he didn't want to, God knows she occupied his mind more than she should. Harm was afraid. He was never good with relationships, neither was she and combining two people with such problems did not equate to anything good. "Bud, what is it that you think you know?" He opted for the stubborn approach, knowing that, in his frame of mind, he could probably be opened up like a book.

"You know? Things would be so much simpler if you two just. .. opened up." Bud stood, picked up Harm's, now empty, beer bottle and patted his friend on the back. "Anyone who's been around you two know there's magic there. . .Wise up before you lose her altogether." With that, he headed away from Harm, leaving him to contemplate his final words.

Harm glanced over at the Robert's children. They were innocent, unknowing of the dangers of the real world. Still, they had one thing that Harm never did, the capability to understand what it is to love and be loved. That part of him was taken away at the tender age of 6. Despite his want to have someone in his life, his inability to open up, to show real love seemed to elude him. Turning towards the adults, he couldn't help but glance at Mac. She was wearing a USMC t-shirt and faded blue jeans and still, she was the most gorgeous girl he'd ever seen. He wanted her, but it was more profound than just a want. He needed her in his life and yet, he couldn't quite figure out the ways to tell her so. Words hadn't been enough. Hadn't he told her that he loved her, way back when she was marrying Mic? That should have been enough to drive her into his arms.

Sighing in frustration, he lifted himself off the picnic table and slowly headed towards the adults. Often he had contemplated just seducing her and getting this tension out of the way. Maybe then they could be normal friends. But his heart wouldn't let him do that because he knew that from the first moment he made love to Sarah MacKenzie, there would be no turning back. He headed up the porch steps and walked over to a round patio table with a huge hunter green umbrella. As luck would have it, the only seat left was next to Mac. "Hey sailor, looking kinda glum." She teased him, nudging him playfully.

"Nah, just tired, I guess. . .The kids wore me out." He lied. Well, not entirely, the kids had worn him out. Turning to Mac he smiled his best flyboy smile and nudged her back. "And why did you two ladies leave us men to fend off the kids alone?"

Harriet raised her hands in surrender. "If I remember correctly, you and Bud said you could handle the kids while Mac and I prepared lunch, it's not my fault they decided to gang up on you." She grinned sincerely, pleased that Harm had chosen to take part in her children's lives again. The twins were too young to remember him, but AJ often asked about his Uncle Harm. "AJ especially missed you."

Harm's face flushed a bright red of embarrassment. Whatever problems he had with Mac, he should have never allowed himself to lose touch with his true friends. As a Godfather, he had certain responsibilities that he shirked the day he decided that he didn't need anyone. Frowning, he turned towards the yard, watching the kids play with a highly diplomatic, and ever talkative AJ, who was making sure his sister was ganging up on the two other boys. "I missed him too, Harriet. . .Look, I ah. . ." He swallowed down the lump at the back of his throat. God had he missed out on things. "I'm sorry I didn't stay in touch. . ." He slowly turned to his friends, embarrassed that so many emotions were plaguing him as of late. "It's just that. . .I ah. . . was so far away. . ." He deadpanned, trying to find words that would substitute for the truth. More than anything, the reason why he'd stayed out of contact had to do with Mac. He was afraid of what the Roberts' would say, what information they would exchange. His anger towards his former partner wouldn't allow him to stay in touch. "I just didn't want to live in the past."

From under the table, he felt Mac's hand brushing his own, her fingers trailing light, soothing circles. "I know that sounds lame, but. . .I just couldn't handle it. . .any of it." He sighed deeply, practically deflating in front of his friends. "But, I'm glad we can still be friends. .. I ah, I hope we can, that is."

It was apparent from the bright smile on Bud's face how he felt about the situation. Harriet was much more difficult to read. She'd been upset with him for not returning calls, for not contacting her family. But, Harriet just couldn't hold a grudge when both Harm and Mac had been there for her family so many times. "I'm not going to say I wasn't upset. . ." She began, then chuckled, "Actually, I was downright pissed off at you. . .But I understand."

Harm breathed a sigh of relief. "Good, because. .. I really did miss you. . ." He turned to Mac, his intense gaze lingering, "I missed all of you." She felt her hand giving his a soft squeeze, her own admission that he wasn't the only one missing them.

A Few Days Later
1458 Local
Joint Legal Services Southwest
San Diego, California

Vic was carrying his head just a bit higher that day, and with good reason, he was being promoted. The news had come early that day and he was ordered to keep his mouth shut until the JAG Conference Ball where he and Lt. Mayfield would receive their new bars. "Jen, babe, is the Colonel available?" He stopped in front of Coates' desk giving her his most charming smile.

"Lieutenant, I've asked you, several times, to drop the derogatory comments. . .Yes, the Colonel is available, let me patch you through." Today there was something about Vic that made her skin crawl. He'd been walking around all morning with a holier than thou, cocky attitude which was starting to tick her off. "Colonel, ma'am. . .Lieutenant Vukovic to see you." She hung up the phone and glanced up at him. "Go right in."

"Thank you, Jen." He practically strutted into Mac's office, barely standing at attention as he waited for her to finish typing something on the computer. He took that moment to give her a once over. She seemed upset by something and had been all week long. Once Mac glanced up at him, he glared straight to the window behind her, hoping she hadn't caught him leering.

Mac sighed deeply, saved the document that she was working on and turned to Vic. "What can I help you with Lieutenant?" She really wasn't in the frame of mind to deal with him at the present moment. The whole week had been a total bust, from bad cases to her missing Harm half of the time. It had been relatively upsetting because she needed to talk to him, to bounce ideas off. Somehow, she'd forgotten that during the past years she had stopped needing him. "What was that?" Lost in her thoughts, she barely realized Vic had asked her something.

"The ball, ma'am. .. I was wondering if you had a date." He flashed her a charming grin which widened at her look of confusion. "I realize we are several ranks apart, but that doesn't mean we can't show up to the ball together." In fact, several other officers had often been accompanied by junior officers. It was work related and not a big deal. "I mean, if you don't have a date that is."

Mac furled her brow, studying him intently. What was he up to? "I don't have a date, but I'm afraid I'll be a bit busy to be any good company."

Vic flashed another charming smile. "I really don't mind. . . thing is I don't want to go alone." But there was another reason past that. He couldn't wait to see the look on her face when a new epaulet was added to his uniform. It pleased him beyond belief that, somehow, he'd been able to go above Mac. She'd been more sensitive towards him, not as snippy, which made him believe that Harm had, indeed, spoken to her. Little did he know that Harm never did. "And I am man enough to admit that."

Despite her dislike of the junior officer, she had to laugh. "As admirable as find your honesty, Lieutenant, I really can't."

"Is there anything I can do to change your mind?" He insisted, but someone caught Mac's attention. Her expression, which portrayed her current amusement to his antics, had changed completely. "Ma'am?"

Mac's eyes lightened up, her facial features lifted as she smiled brightly to the visitor leaning against her doorframe. "Hey."

Whipping around Vic found one Harmon Rabb Junior leaning up against Mac's doorframe. He ground his teeth in anger. Sobering, he smiled at the man. "Captain, sir."

"Lieutenant, Colonel. . .May I?" He pointed towards the office, not wanting to walk in without an invitation. With an amused grin, he noticed Vic's apprehension, the way his body tensed almost as if he were the Alpha male trying to battle it out with another.

She swept her hand over the room while nodding. "Of course you may. . .Lieutenant, dismissed."

"I hope you'll reconsider." Vic came to attention, made a perfect about face then headed out of the office. Jen wasn't at her desk which allotted him time to remain outside of Mac's office.

Harm settled himself in one of Mac's guest chairs and sighed, "What did Lt. Sleaze want?" He couldn't help but feel slightly apprehensive about the younger man. True, Harm hadn't told her Vic's threat in fact, he'd tried, as much as possible to protect Mac by going around to Tom Boone who was still serving as SECNAV's aid. Still, too many ambitious people have done absolutely ghastly things to get to the top, Vic seemed to fit the description.

Waving him off, she stood, turning to close the blinds which were reflecting light onto her computer screen. "Never mind, Vic's just being Vic."

"Oh, so it's Vic now?" He raised a brow in amusement or rather, in shock. Was she warming up to the younger man? "Funny, I didn't think you liked him much."

"Harm, drop it." She pleaded, finding that his tone of voice was lined with just a bit too much jealousy for her taste. Did he really think so little of her? That she would give in to a younger man just because. They stared at each other for a moment, each of them fighting a battle of wills. It was easy to take a cheap shot, to push them to that breaking point again. But, neither of them wanted that, especially since they were sharing a roof. "I need a favor."

"Another one?" He joked, placing a briefcase on his lap, which he then snapped open. From it he pulled out a thick file folder. "This is everything we could find on Master Chief Daniels. . .His wife was paying us a small fortune to watch him. . .Since all files are Rabb and Galindez's property, you are allowed to use them." Harm spoke in his best, business man voice, grinning slightly at the pleased look on Mac's face.

She thumbed quickly through the files breathing a sigh of relief. The case with Master Chief Daniels was a rather tricky one. He was accused of using enlisted men in order to smuggle narcotics from various places in the world. The men would be paid for their silence or threatened into compliance. As a result, none of them were willing to talk, so Mac had to find other methods. She and Harm were discussing the case a few evenings ago, bouncing ideas off of him, when the name struck him as familiar. He offered to give her what they knew, mostly information dug up pertaining to the Chief's wife who believed he was cheating on her. "That's a lot of information."

"He's a dirty guy." He frowned slightly, not understanding why some men couldn't honor their marital vows. Of course, marriage, to some, was subjective. "Anyway, we're still doing some investigation, it should wrap up by next week so anything we have, I'll copy and give to you."

Grabbing the file, she placed it in her drawer and locked it, securing the documents from prying eyes. "You know, you could have waited until we were both at home."

'At home?' Vic mouthed. He was leaning against the wall, flattening himself against the wall, hiding behind the door which was the entrance way to the outer office. It was common knowledge that Harm was staying with Mac while he figured out what to do with his living arrangement. Most people in the office had seen him as a hero for making sure Mac was not hurt in the blast.

With an impish grin, Harm shrugged, "I was hoping to take you to lunch. . .But, I guess you're busy." He said, spying at the stacks of papers on her desk. "How are the things for the conference going?"

"Good, they start off tomorrow, Friday and Saturday, which leads me to the favor." She bit her lower lip, trying to decide the best form to ask him. It was a modern world, she was fairly the modern woman. Then why was it so difficult to ask him out on a 'date.'

"Shoot."

Nervously, she tucked a strand of stray hair behind her ear. It was now or never. "The conferences end on Friday and Creswell thought it would be nice to have some sort of Farewell Ball, you know? Formal uniforms for the men, gowns for the ladies. A bunch of bigwigs, getting drunk and trading stories, etc."

"Sounds normal. . .we've gone to several of those before."

"Yes, we have." She breathed a slight sigh of relief. Though, in the past, they weren't officially on a 'date.' She and Harm had gone together to several balls and dances and events. Then why was this so difficult to get out. "Which brings me up to the favor. . .Would you be my date?"

The quickness of his response took them both by surprise, "I can't, Mac." Harm knew he was letting her down again, maybe even shooting her down, but he had his principles to thing about. "It's not you. . . I mean, I would love to go. . .out. . .with you. . Ah, but. . .this isn't part of my world anymore." He glanced around the office, his eyes lingering on objects that symbolized the law. "I don't belong to JAG. . .Some would argue that I barely belong to the Navy."

"I can't Mac." Sad quickly. "I would love to, really. . .but that isn't part of my world anymore. . I don't belong to JAG. . .Some would argue that I barely belong to the Navy. . .I just can't."

A smug smile of victory appeared on Vic's lips. 'Yes!' If the Colonel wasn't going with the Captain, that left a little opening for him. As much as he'd told himself he would stop pursing the Colonel, it was just too difficult not to. There was something about Mac that attracted him and it wasn't just her looks. Perhaps it was the want to knock down her holier than thou attitude when it came to him. But, this was definitely a move in the right direction.

A seasoned poker player would normally have trouble reading Mac, but at that moment, she looked vulnerable. It was just a stupid ball, nothing of severe importance and still, she took his unwillingness to accompany her as a blow. "Oh. . .I umm. . .didn't think about that." And she really hadn't thought that maybe he would be uncomfortable with a bunch of JAGs. After all, no matter how badly he hated the law at the moment, she knew it was still part of him, something that wasn't easy to shake. "It's fine, Harm. . .I'll just go with Vuckovic."

It amused her to see Harm's face turn about five shades lighter than it was. She giggled slightly, giving away the fact that she was just kidding. "Ha. Ha. Funny, Marine. Really funny." Grabbing his suitcase, Harm stood up. "I better get out of your hair. . .I'll probably be in late tonight. . .I have a ton of things to do."

Mac nodded, "I do too. . .Calls to make, paperwork to sign. . . the usual. . . Let me walk you out." She came around her desk and headed with him out of her office, past the inner office and to the bullpen. "Be careful, alright?"

Harm turned to face her, a smile gracing his lips. "You worried about me, MacKenzie?"

"You're my friend, of course I am. . .Besides, you had that knee swollen the other day."

"I'm only hoping it doesn't bother me to sit in a cockpit for several hours. . .We have some training program coming up soon." He confessed. Though his knee had healed, it occasionally hurt badly. The swelling had been kept at bay and Mac had been quite helpful with his recovery. Still, he hated to see the only part of his Naval career that he had left, tossed into the wind.

"Just take it easy. . .I'll see you later?" At least, she hoped she did. One of the little pleasures in her life was having him just a few feet away in another room. There hadn't been any episodes like that night when he'd slept by her, but that didn't mean she didn't need him. Just having him around made her feel better, safer.

Harm headed towards the double doors, waving goodbye. "Don't wait up, I'll probably be in very late."

Mac heaved a deep sigh, turned on her heel and was trying to make it to her office when Vukovic seemed to pop out of nowhere. "Yes, Lieutenant?"

Vic's grin widened slightly, he was rather enjoying the little conversation he over heard. "Oh, nothing ma'am. . . I was headed out to lunch, would you like me to bring you something?"

His whole demeanor was much different that usual. True, he'd always been a pain in the butt in regards to her, but he was being very. . charming. . .as of late and that was starting to bother her. "No, I am fine. . .enjoy your lunch." She weaved her way past him, closing the door for the outer office and her own office, before settling back to work.