A/N—Please read and review. Thank you. I hope you enjoy.
Mindelan, Tortall
Late Spring 458 H.E
Andera hung her head, her eyes fixed on the ground at Iness' feet. She hated being scolded, especially by Iness, but sometimes she couldn't help it. Sometimes she was just drawn to actions that got her in trouble or else she was so bored she gave up trying to control herself. She often felt she was fighting her very nature by trying to maintain Yamani discipline and Gennature values. In Yamani there had been games and weapons practices to relieve her tensions but in Mindelan there was nothing except secret practices and rides outside of the walls, such exercises getting more reckless every time.
This morning she had taken a horse out. She couldn't take Emerald because she had been injured and was still recovering. Instead, Andera had taken Oranie's horse without permission. She had tried to jump a small ravine on the delicate mare and had miscalculated the mare's ability. Andera and horse had plummeted to the bottom of the eight-foot drop. By the time Andera had crawled out of the ravine and limped home on foot she had missed two meals and searchers had been sent out for her. The mare had broken two legs and would have to be put down. Andera herself had numerous bruises and a sprained ankle.
"If Pa were home…" Iness was saying. Andera jerked her head up.
"Please don't tell him, Iness." She begged. "He'll be disappointed again. I don't try to disappoint him; honestly I don't."
"Kit, he's going to find out."
"I'll do anything, Iness. I'll try harder. I'll replace the horse by the end of the summer, before Oranie and Adie go back to Corus." Andera pleaded.
"How are you going to replace the horse, Andera?"
"I'll find a way."
"And how do you expect us to keep its absence from Pa before you do?"
"We'll tell him I was riding her when she got spooked by something in the woods." Oranie broke in. "There are plenty of animals in these woods and she was always a little skittish. I can get Conal to go along and Kel, Adie and Tilaine aren't back from town yet. Ma and Pa won't be back for a couple more days. What do you say, Iness?"
Andera smiled thankfully at Oranie and waited for Iness to say something. "Alright, but that doesn't mean you didn't do wrong today, Andera."
"I know Iness." Andera answered meekly.
"Now go get yourself cleaned up and have the healer look at your ankle." Iness ordered.
Andera nodded and slunk out of the kitchen, closing the door behind her. She slid to the ground in the hall and leaned her head back against the wall. She heard Iness say to Oranie, "What are we going to do with her? In a year or two Kel's going to have to go to Corus to be presented to the court as a noble lady and she'll be here all alone."
Andera recognized Oranie's sigh. "I wish there was some way to get them both out of that. Adie and I do fine in Corus but their spirits aren't meant for such a life. It's why she's so reckless."
"I understand that, but her spirit doesn't change anything. Someday she's going to have to learn."
"You mean learn to be someone else. Learn to put out that fire in her so she can fit into some ill-conceived, Gennature mold. You shouldn't help them to destroy her, Iness."
Andera felt tears sting the back of her eyes. She had heard enough. She got clumsily to her feet and climbed up to her room as fast as her injured ankle would allow. In her room she stripped off her torn skirt and blouse. A servant had already filled a tub with warm water and Andera climbed in, wincing as she put too much weight on her ankle. The water stung her cuts and she couldn't keep from crying any longer. She climbed out of the tub and dried off, putting on a Yamani kimono instead of another skirt. She wrapped her ankle with a leg wrap they used for the horses but didn't go to the healer. Andera sat on her bed, leaning against the wall, and brought her knees up to her chest.
When she had cried enough she wiped her eyes then reached for the book on her night table. "Kit, are you in here?" Oranie's voice came through the door as she tapped gently. Andera didn't say anything, tears stinging her eyes again. "Kit?" She remained quiet but Oranie pushed the door open anyway. "Did you hear us talking?" Andera was crying again. She impatiently wiped the tears off her cheeks. "Kit, will you please talk to me?" Andera remained silent, pushing herself tighter against the wall and pulling her knees closer to her chest. Oranie sighed and kissed Andera's forehead. "Good night."
When Oranie left Andera opened her book again. She stayed in her room reading through dinner until the house was quiet. Iness and Kel both said good night to her through her door but she didn't answer them. When everyone was asleep Andera crawled off her bed. She threw a skirt, another bandage and some coins into a bag. She tucked a shukusen in her belt and laced her boots together, draping them over her shoulder. She crept downstairs without making a sound and added some water and food to her bag. At the door she put her cloak and boots on.
Andera stuck to the woods until she was past the town then started off on the road at a steady pace. She didn't know where she was going but moving eased her troubled mind. At dawn she slept just off the road for a few hours then started walking again. By noon she was out of territory she recognized and she knew her siblings would begin looking for her. Andera also knew that they wouldn't look this far until she had failed to show up around Mindelan.
Andera stopped to eat a light lunch about one. Her ankle was swollen and aching so she took her boot off and soaked her ankle in a creek. It was the beginning of summer but under the trees the water was still cold. It numbed the pain and Andera sat for an hour before wrapping it again and starting off. Stops every few hours to soak or rest her ankle became necessary and she grew frustrated with the slow pace, beginning to wish she had dared to take one of Mindelan's horses.
About five Andera got the feeling of people approaching her on the road and took to the woods. An hour later she stopped. She set up a camp with a small fire and gently unlaced her boots. Her ankle was almost twice its normal size and she knew she'd need to stop walking soon. She soaked one of her bandages and wrapped that around her ankle then fashioned a rough walking stick using her shukusen as a knife.
Andera slept fitfully that night and woke up before dawn. Her fire had burned down to embers. Andera ate breakfast by the glowing coals, noting that she would need to get more food in a day or so. When the sun came up she put her boots back on and headed to the road again. She kept the pace she had set the day before. By suppertime she had reached a small city. She pulled her Tortallan skirt on over her kimono and bought herself some more supplies, including a cream to put on her ankle for the swelling. Andera camped in the woods that night as well. She was beginning to doubt the wisdom of ever leaving Mindelan but in the morning she started off again.
The pain in her ankle got progressively worse as she walked and she stopped early on the third evening. She hobbled around making a fire and gathering pine boughs for her bed, planning to stay in one place for a few nights and let her ankle rest. When her camp was set up she tended to her ankle then sat by the fire and whittled on her walking stick. Just after the sun went behind the trees Andera got the feeling she wasn't alone in the camp. She looked up and let out a startled shriek. There was a woman, tall and thin, standing on the other side of the fire. She wore elegant clothing and had long, black hair. Her face was so beautiful it made Andera catch her breath. Her eyes were clear, depth-filled emerald.
"You are a challenge to keep track of, especially in my present state." The woman said. Her voice was like hounds on the hunt, fierce yet beautiful. It rang in Andera's head and if she weren't already sitting she would have fallen with the power of that voice. "I arranged for you to meet the Mindelans for a reason, Kitten, and I won't tolerate you ruining that. What are you thinking, running away?"
"You know me?" Andera asked. It was all she could think to say.
"Of course. Now what are you doing out here?"
"I don't know." Andera answered truthfully. "I need to get Anie a horse."
The woman sat down gracefully and when she spoke again her voice was softer, like the wind singing through the trees. "Are you not happy with the Mindelans?"
"They're my family." Andera answered sharply. "I love them all, it's just Tortall I hate."
"No Kitten, you will love the real Tortall and you will fight for it. That is your destiny."
"Why do you call me Kitten?" Andera asked, deciding not to dwell on her supposed destiny.
"Because that is the only name by which your past and present both know you."
"Oh." They were quiet for a while. A rustling drew Andera's attention to the underbrush on her right. A small, black nose sniffed the air. Then a thin head and sleek white body ending in a long, fury tail came out of the bushes. The animal crawled over to Andera and, standing on its hind legs, stuck its nose in her face.
"It is time we talk, Kitten." The woman said.
"I thought we were talking." Andera answered, holding out her hand to the animal. He sniffed her fingers.
"You need to be careful, Kitten. I know it is hard for you. Trouble runs in your blood."
"Who are my parents?" Andera interrupted.
The woman glared at her. "I won't tell you that."
"But you could."
"Listen to me, Kitten. For the next few years ignorance will aid you. Stay in the shadows. There are many, friend and foe, who are looking for you and you are not easy to miss. Heed my advice and stay home. Don't deny your curious nature but be subtle about it. Use that Yamani discipline you have and hone your skills, don't just explode in a reckless temper. And get Oranie a new horse; you owe her that much." The woman stood and the animal scurried over to her. "Stay with Kitten. She will need you."
Andera stood. "Can't you tell me what's going to happen?"
"No, Kitten, I can not." Andera blinked and the woman was gone. Chewing her lip, Andera looked down at the animal.
"So it's you and me now." The animal chatted in reply. Andera dropped to the ground again. "You know, for a private chat with the Goddess, that wasn't very informative." The animal climbed up onto Andera's lap. "My ankle really hurts." Andera commented, enjoying having someone to talk to even if the conversation was one-sided. "I think I'll call you Kaji. It's Yamani for faith." The animal chattered pleasantly in response. Andera yawned. Curling up with Kaji against her stomach, she quickly fell asleep. By the morning Andera was hot with fever. She built up her fire, ate lightly, and then curled up again on her bed of pine boughs, closing her eyes against the sun. She fell asleep once more, Kaji curled up by her face, and dreamed about being back home in Yamani.