Hey all you beautiful readers ;-) This chapter and the next will mark conclusion for this story. I tried to make them deep without making them too cliche but I'm not sure how well that went. Well, enjoy:-)
A wave of nausea passed over the small girl and she collapsed into Karen, who, rather than pushing her away, allowed her to lean against her as she examined Olivia's arm, swallowing hard. She gathered Olivia into her arms, trying her hardest not to disturb the injured arm, and carried Olivia out to the hallway when she was certain it was clear of maids.
"Where are we going?" Olivia whispered, in too much shock and beginning-to-set pain to speak any louder.
"Shh," Karen told her softly. "Don't talk right now…it's okay…we're going to make your arm better…" She called frantically out to a maid passing by the foot of the stairs to alert the driver to get the car ready. The maid hurried to obey orders while Olivia and Karen both shook uncontrollably, each for different reasons. The ride to the hospital seemed endless, Olivia lying so that her head was in Karen's lap and the rest of her was sprawled out across the backseat with a soft blue blanket over her, crying every now and again but attempting to appear brave at the same time. Karen kissed the top of her head absently, not aware of what she was doing in her panic. "Is it hurting a lot?"
Olivia nodded, her eyes welling up again.
"We're almost there, Olivia, and they'll put a cast on your arm to fix it and give you something so it won't hurt so much…okay?"
Olivia nodded again.
Karen rushed her into the emergency room before the driver had even come to a full stop, and they were seen immediately. The doctor was a kindly older man who joked gently with Olivia to try to keep her mind off the pain while he examined her.
"This is quite a break," he announced after awhile. "What is it exactly that happened, honey?" He directed the question toward Olivia, but Karen answered it for her.
"Keep telling those kids to quit running through the house," she chuckled, trying and succeeding rather well to keep her voice steady, "and the way they leave their toys around is just asking for trouble…isn't that right, honey?"
Olivia knew she couldn't dare say no, so she merely nodded, and so did the doctor.
"Yeah, I suppose that would do it," he said. He glanced at Karen. "I'm going to send her in for some x-rays so we know more about what we're dealing with, but it won't take too long, okay?"
Karen kept her hand on Olivia's good shoulder as an orderly wheeled her to the radiation department, hoping Olivia wasn't noticing how much she was shaking, and Olivia was still shaking so much herself that she didn't.
"Karen?"
Karen whipped her head around, wondering who could possibly know her here, and immediately recognized the red mess Grace called hair hurrying toward her.
"Grace," Karen blurted out as Grace reached her. "What are you--too much an emergency for even the gals at the beauty parlor to touch?"
"Man, you just have me all figured out, don't you, Sherlock Ho?" Grace shot back. "And you, Miss Olivia, a hospital is for sick people and you look quite well to me."
Olivia simply turned away instead of answering her, not particularly happy with her at the moment. She knew Grace had only been trying to look out for her by calling Karen, but that call was what had gotten her here and it didn't keep Olivia from being angry with her.
Karen shrugged casually, and Olivia idly wondered if Grace would be able to see right through her. "Yeah well, what can we tell ya, Gracie, she's obviously not getting the difference between a one point five million dollar manse and a school playground."
"Oh, is that what's going on?" Grace ran her fingers through Olivia's silky curls. "Huh. Maybe if you went to the playground more often, you could avoid problems like this in the future, you think? Once your arm's better, Olivia, we'll take those slides together, okay?"
Olivia had to smile at the image, though she didn't foresee it happening.
Grace rolled her eyes at Karen. "Jack--you know who Jack is, right? I don't think you've met him--"
"I've met a lot of Jacks."
"I said Jack--you know, as in a person? Not a jack off. Anyway, Will's friend okay? He sees this Dairy Queen commercial where some moronic guy gets his tongue stuck in some beaters, it's this whole promotional thing for some Brownie Batter Blizzard they've got going on, looks damn good too and I was going to make Will buy me three of them, but then Jack has to all be scoffing the guy who got his tongue stuck so he's all 'yeah right' and tries to show the guy up and here we are in the ER and…" She shrugged helplessly. "What can you do?"
Karen shook her head in mock amazement. "Honey, you just never cease to fascinate me, did you know? You really need to write that one down."
"And I'm going to pretend you meant that."
"Grace! If you're sneaking around stealing pudding cups off random lunch trays and stuffing them down your shirt, I'm going to--" Will appeared abruptly around the corner and stopped when he saw Karen and Olivia. "Well, my goodness. If you're here, Karen, who's guarding hell?" His eyes went to Olivia. "And you must be the innocent straight-from-heaven angel that Jezebel was ordered to kidnap."
Olivia smiled a bit but didn't quite meet his eyes.
"And you must be the dull, boring, hairline receding six and a half years in a relationship that's going nowhere queer who thinks he's funny when he's really not that I was instructed to bring in addition to her," Karen chirped back wryly.
"Oh, is Satan taking those now? And here I was thinking there was a nifty little corner office with my name on it up in heaven."
"Well, there's something with your name on it," Karen said, "but it isn't in heaven and it sure as hell isn't a corner office." She bent down so she was Olivia's height. "I'll be right outside here with Will and Grace while you get your x-rays, okay, and you'll be able to see me through this big window."
"Will it hurt?"
"Maybe a little bit, but if it does, just think of the time when Grace fell asleep in her desk chair and I tied her to it and pulled the fire alarm."
Olivia burst out laughing at this, although Grace looked much less amused at the memory of it. But she couldn't help but smile as Olivia continued to giggle all the way into the lab.
"Poor kid," she remarked, watching as the orderly and x-ray technician set Olivia up for her x-rays. "How did you say she broke her arm, Karen?"
"She…well, you know, I'm not exactly sure." Karen licked her lips anxiously before she could stop it. "All I know is that she and the fat one were tearing through that house like the devil was after them--"
"Well, were you?" Will inquired, and Karen ignored him.
"And…and the next thing I know, I…well, one of the maids came to get me and…" Karen shrugged as if none of it mattered, when it really did.
"So she fell, or…?" Will frowned.
"Yeah, I guess so."
"Where's Stan?" Grace wanted to know.
"He left a few hours ago for Chicago, he's got some kind of deal to make there. I told him I'd stay around and…well, Olivia breaks her arm…"
"Oh, but Karen, it's not your fault that she did," Grace soothed. "They're still pretty young yet and they're going to get wild no matter what you say or what you do. It's just plain suck luck that got Olivia to the hospital, you know? And broken arms heal. You had nothing to do with it."
A sob rose to Karen's throat, knowing that she had everything to do with it.
"Stan will understand," Grace added, misinterpreting Karen's distress.
"No, no, I'm…yes, I know he will. I should…I should call him, you know…let him know that…"
"All right." Grace caressed her shoulder. "I suppose we should check up on Jack and then we're still going for the Blizzards, right, Will?"
"Yeah yeah, three of them," Will affirmed impatiently. "I got you the first time." He shot a sideways glance at Karen. "I don't suppose Olivia would appreciate it if we were to drop her off one maybe a little later on?"
"I'm sure she would." Karen tried to smile. "I can't guarantee she'd be awake enough to enjoy it, but we could save it in the freezer for her if that was the case."
Grace caught Will's stern eye and sighed as she pulled a pudding cup out from under her shirt. "Here's a little something to tide her over."
"Okay," the orderly said cheerfully, wheeling Olivia out, "the doctor's going to review the x-rays and then we're going to send you to a doctor who will set her arm. She'll be good to go after that."
"Thank you," Karen said quietly, glancing down at her future stepdaughter. "You okay there?"
"Yeah, I'm okay. Just tired."
"Well, you'll be home and in bed before too much longer, just hang in there for a little while."
Olivia went through the remainder of the process as if in a dream, crying when the doctor told Karen that Olivia would have to keep the cast on for a good eight weeks but she appreciated how Karen allowed her to cry against her silk blouse in comfort as she did. By the time the cast had been set into place, Olivia was nearly asleep so after quickly filling pain medication prescriptions at the hospital pharmacy, Karen carried her to the waiting limo, holding her securely to her as the little girl slept. Karen stroked her hair, cheeks, arm now and again, not really thinking about it, her mind swimming with other things.
She should have had no trouble loving Olivia. Stanley didn't. Will didn't, Grace didn't, and while there was no relations between them as there would soon be between Olivia and Karen, Will and Grace had something with the child that Karen did not, and didn't know if she ever could. Her vision blurred as her gaze went from the broken arm to the various bumps and bruises that were beginning to form from the earlier beating; her fingers brushed the scar just barely visible between Olivia's hairline and actual skin where Karen had cut her with glass from a broken liquor bottle. The mark on her shoulder where Karen had knocked her with Mason's hockey stick.
It didn't seem as if she, as if Karen Delaney-Popeil-St. Croix-soon-to-be-Walker had inflicted this pain, had created this life for Olivia that she had no business living. That she was responsible for her fear, her confusion, her not understanding why she wasn't being loved. These were not the struggles a seven year old was supposed to be having.
This was someone else's child. Someone else had done this. It had to be.
Olivia hadn't so much as stirred by the time Karen was putting her into her bed, tucking her blankets firmly around her. The doorbell chimed as Karen stood, watching her sleeping form and a maid came up to announce Grace's arrival.
"As promised," she said cheerfully, holding out the Brownie Batter Blizzard for Karen to see as Karen came into the front hall to greet her. "But I suppose she's fast asleep by now."
"Yeah, she is, but I'll have the cook save it for her." Karen called out to the cook and passed on her request.
"I would have brought you one too, but it's one of those things that makes you reflect on how wonderful life is so I figured you wouldn't appreciate it if I did," Grace said. When Karen didn't respond, Grace shifted unnervingly. "So…you want me to…stick around for a bit?…Maybe?"
"Well, if you want to, honey, I've just got…something I need to take care of if you…want to listen in case Olivia wakes up and needs something."
"Okay, sure." Grace smiled, not used to Karen sounding so maternal; she was proud of her. Olivia did wake up a few minutes later in tears over her pain medication wearing off, and when Grace went off in search of Karen, she was nowhere to be found. Grace stopped one of the maids who didn't seem the least bit dismayed by Karen's disappearance.
"Um, yes, Miss Karen," she said brightly with a heavy Spanish accent. "She go…she leave. Understand?"
"But where?" Grace pressed urgently. "Um…where?…Uh, donde…donde es…no…um…" Grace trailed off helplessly.
"Donde?" the maid repeated earnestly. "Yes, donde! She do not say…donde…"
"She didn't say where she went?"
"No, no, she just take her bags and she say…she say one thing for Senor Walker and little girl, she say, 'I'm sorry.'"
Grace frowned. "Sorry? For what?"
"I not know, Miss, she just say 'I'm sorry.'"
"Okay." Rather dazed by this point, Grace wasn't looking at her any longer. "Th…thank you." She went to the bedroom Karen shared with Stan to see for herself, and the maid's words were instantly confirmed.
"Grace?"
Grace whirled around at the small, sweet voice. Ever perceptive, Olivia had sensed trouble.
"Oh sweetie, go…you shouldn't be up right now, your arm…" She glimpsed Olivia's pain meds on the edge of the bedside table. "Go back to bed and I'll bring this to you."
Olivia was not to be undone. "Where's Karen?"
"She…well, she's…Karen will be back soon, she just…" Grace sighed and sank down on to the king size bed. "Screw it. I don't know where she is, Olivia."
Olivia, watching her from the doorway, didn't say anything, and Grace sighed again. This was a sharp kid if Grace ever saw one, and knew there was more. Grace had to give it to her.
"She…" Grace paused to clear her throat. "She told one of the maids…well, I guess she said to tell your daddy…and you…that she's sorry." Grace studied her carefully. "Do you--what does she mean? Do you know?"
Without skipping a beat, Olivia nodded.
Grace was about to question her further when she got a good look at Olivia's eyes. They were not the eyes of a girl as little as she; they were confused, scared, yes--but what got to Grace was how tired, how very, very old they appeared. Upon seeing this, Grace knew that Olivia didn't need more questions. Little Olivia, it was plain to see, was carrying the weight of an old woman.
"Olivia," Grace said quietly. "There's a lot I didn't know, wasn't there?"
Olivia nodded again.
"Okay. Now what?" Her voice was as gently as could be as she asked.
Olivia shrugged.
"You're done answering questions, aren't you?"
Nod.
"Well, you might not know, but I do, and I'm sorry too, Olivia. So…sorry."
She opened her arms and waited. Olivia stared. She couldn't give into this, she'd break, she'd fall and not be able to get up, she'd…
And suddenly she found herself in Grace's arms, the wall she had desperately built so solidly around her smashed to pieces and in their place, tears as they had never come before. Grace clutched the small child she had reached out to, wanting her to have no room for doubt, for fear, for anything she had been feeling that she should have been protected from and wasn't. Grace wanted Olivia to feel none of that through her embrace, only love and a promise of safety, of protection. She had Olivia in her lap, stroking her curls as Olivia sobbed into her shoulder. She kissed her delicate cheek, even shed a few tears of her own.
"I've got you, sweetheart…" she whispered into the girl's ear, "I'm keeping you…please let me do that for you…please let me tell you that you're going to be okay…"
"But you don't know that." Olivia's voice was barely audible.
"Then let me hold you…and tell you…and keep telling you until we both know it will be."
So Olivia did.