Chapter 3:

Being an Auror was a lot more training and work then James had expected. Mad-Eye was insane, and the hours made it so he couldn't see Lily as often as he would have liked. It didn't bother him as much as it should. Only four and a half months ago had James finally convinced Lily to give him a chance, but the both of them had changed a lot from the time they were first years. After her friendship with Snape fell apart, Lily seemed to become harder, she smiled less then she had in the past. It had broken James's heart seeing her become worse as the war became more noticeable.

As a powerful muggleborn witch Lily had already been targeted, Voldemort had tried to recruit her, saying he could look over her unfortunate birth for her power. Last week had offered to let her join him as a researcher, said he'd spare her family and her if she joined him, that she could marry one of the halfbloods in his ranks to bring her strong magic into a more noble bloodline. Lily had spat in his face, literally, and used a dark curse Snape had caught her. It was how Lily had realized Snape had joined up, since the two of them were the only ones who knew the counterspell. When they had gotten home Lily had started creating plates just to destroy them to keep her magic from lashing out.

It was then that James realized that although Lily did care for him, she had cared for Snape more then anyone had realized. James had believed that she and Snape had only been friends before their friendship fell apart, but know he wondered. Either she and Snape had hidden they were dating, or she had been in love with him without saying anything. It had been clear to anyone with eyes how Snape had felt for her since they were firsties, but everyone had always assumed it was one sided. Seeing how destroyed Lily had looked the moment the counterspell had been spoken by a masked Death Eater, James knew that she was in love with Snape. He just wondered if her love for Snape was more then her willingness to try and make things work between them.

James loved her, but honestly, he wasn't sure that he was in love with her. Truthfully if Snape hadn't joined the Death Eaters James probably would have stepped aside. It was clear that Lily would have never given him a chance if Snape hadn't already started drifting off to join the opposite side of the war.

He hadn't spoken about this to anyone. James just didn't know how to explain his feelings to someone who would understand. Even Moony wouldn't quite get it. Not after how long James had been trying to get his chance with Lily. He just wasn't sure if she was what he wanted in the long run anymore.

"James I'm home," Lily called out. With a heavy heart James stood up knowing that if he left his thoughts to fester there definitely wouldn't be a chance for him and Lily to survive as a couple.

"Hey Lils, I think we need to talk."

"Is everything ok? No one got hurt did they?" The terror on her face for their friends had his heart clenching, but he knew talking about this was best.

"Everyone's fine. No, I want to talk about us. I know you might not want to discuss him, but I saw how you reacted last week when we fought against Snape, I need to know Lils do you love him."

Just like he had expected the answer passed across her face clearly. He knew she had never expected him to confront her about this, but it wasn't healthy for either of them to just pretend. First and foremost, Lily would always be one of his dearest friends. She deserved happiness, even if it wasn't with him and if it was with him, they had to learn to talk about the hard things.

"I always have, he was my best friend since we were seven years old, even if he's turned his back on me."

"I don't mean like a friend Lils, and I know you know that. Please."

"Yes, I love him, but I don't want to James. I want to be happy without him. I hate that I keep thinking about him, I hate that I feel that way. He's not the boy who became my best friend. Who comforted me when Petunia called me a freak and turned her back on me. I don't even recognize him anymore, but I can't stop how I feel.

"I care about you James, truly I do. You've become a good man. Any witch would be lucky to have your love."

He knew even without her saying it that right now that might not be enough. The despair on her face told him that. Honestly he didn't think it was fair on either of them to try and force it. Not if they wanted their friendship to survive, but he also didn't want to give up on them completely. James was certain that Lily was the witch he was meant to spend the rest of his life with. Even if right now they weren't at that point.

"Maybe we should take a break. Just from being a couple. I don't want to lose you as a friend Lils. You're busy in the Department of Mysteries, I'm busy with Auror training, maybe we just don't force the couple stuff for a while. Re-evaluate how we feel when we're ready."

"James…"

"It's ok Lils. Honestly. I really don't want to risk us ever hating each other, I like being James to you instead of Potter."

"Alright. We can take a break, but don't you dare try to avoid me James. I'll hex you if you do. I don't want to lose you as a friend either."

Somehow despite his hope, James felt like this was the end, even if neither of them said it. He didn't want to admit it right now, but honestly he didn't think that he and Lily would come back from this break. He had to try though. Even if it seemed hopeless right now.

Giving her a sad smile he pulled her close, hugging her gently as if afraid they'd both break if he hugged her too tightly.

"Don't worry Lils, whether it's just your annoying best friend you could never lose me. At least not as long as we're both living."

"Good otherwise I'd make you regret it."

Staring at the letter in her hands Hermione felt a bit weak, she had been expecting her NEWT results to take a couple weeks, but it had only been 24 hours since she had done the testing. When Albus had said he'd try to speed up the results she hadn't expected that he could make such a big difference in the time frame.

"Well are you going to open it Hermione. I didn't pick those up from the office on my way back from work for no reason," Alastor said a teasing lilt to his voice.

"Hermione always gets like this when it comes to tests, no matter how much of a walking encyclopedia she is, it's normal Mad-Eye. Just give her a moment. I'm just glad that these marks mean I can qualify for Auror training. Speaking of do I need to wait for a certain time to apply? Is it too late to join the current program? I have no idea if they train batches of applicants in a certain order."

"Usually there are two programs in a year, but with the war we're taking in applicants when we can get them. Training is accelerated. Each Auror is in charge of individual training for a group of cadets. You'll join my group, you start in three days, take that time to read the handbook. You are to keep reading the handbook until you can recite it from memory and even then, you are too always carry it with you.

"Now Hermione back to you, if you don't open your test results in the next 60 seconds, I will yank that parchment out of your hand and read it myself! Considering all the random topics you brought up at dinner last night I'm certain you did well. Evans is right you're a walking encyclopedia. Buck up, you have more courage in you then this, I'm sure."

Giving him an exasperated look Hermione carefully sliced the seal on the back of her letter. Honestly, she wasn't sure why she was so nervous. She had known the tests would be a piece of cake but having the results in her hands made her feel like she was a first year all over again. That fear she had always carried about not being good enough to be in the magical world cropped up when she least expected it.

As soon as she looked the results, she knew she had been worried for nothing. Straight O's even in DADA. With extra marks in DADA and Transfiguration for showing off her Patronus and Animagus form. It meant she'd have a much better chance of getting into the healing program.

Grabbing a quill and parchment, that Alastor had on the table beside her having much more faith in her marks then she did, it was odd the way he treated her. As if she was a family member that he had known for years, rather then a young woman he had known for just over 24 hours. Even the way he looked at her from time to time seemed like he wasn't looking at her, but rather looking at someone she reminded him of.

Shaking her head, so that she didn't accidentally write her thoughts down, Hermione turned back to drafting a letter asking for an application packet for the healing program. She was excited about going into healing. It was a branch of magic she only had minimal knowledge in, most of it was much too tricky and disastrous for her to try and learn on her own.

"Now that that's out of the way I believe it's time for Teddy's nap, we can put wards and a silencing charm up around his crib, and then I'd like to see what the two of you are capable of in a duel. We'll do one on one first, so I can see what I need to work on with you both individually." Alastor gave no room for argument as he swept Teddy out of Harry's arms, the little boy just giving him a soft sleepy smile almost asleep already. He truly was an easy child.

Harry looked a bit nervous at the thought of dueling Alastor, not because he was afraid of facing against the tough Auror, but more that since the end of the war neither of them had dueled anyone other then each other. She was certain that Harry was afraid that he'd forget he wasn't in a life-or-death situation and end up hurting Alastor in the end. Unlike Harry, Hermione wasn't worried about that, she knew even with less experience than the Alastor they had known, that Alastor wouldn't be that easy to harm. If anything, he'd be glad that Harry was taking a duel so seriously. Just as long as Harry didn't throw any unforgiveables, Alastor would be fine.

Alastor wouldn't hold back against them either. He wouldn't want to handicap them on the first duel, in the future he might give himself handicaps to better train them in certain scenarios, but he'd want to know exactly what they were capable of. It would help him know exactly what they both needed to be taught to become better duelers, which would be great for both of them to learn, neither of them had really had formal training. Both of them had relied mainly on instincts and in Harry's case sheer talent, it was the danger of only having a few decent DADA teachers, and of each of those who were decent having such drastically different training styles and curriculums.

"I'll bring Teddy up first, you two can set up, unless if you already have a place set up Mad-Eye?" Harry questioned; it wasn't odd to think that Alastor might have a secret area for dueling. It's not like they'd been here long enough to know where everything in Alastor's house was, plus he had a few acres of land, and who knew what he could be hiding here. Actually, with Alastor it would be more surprising if he didn't have some kind of dueling area set up. He must like being able to keep on his feet, he'd have somewhere to be able to keep his skills sharp, it's not like there were many people with skills on par to what Alastor expected of Auror's. Alastor was sort of a genius when it came to defensive and offensive magic, it was why she had always wondered how exactly Crouch had been able to overpower Alastor.

"Come this way Hermione, Evans's first task can be how to track someone. If he can't find us by the time our duel is over, I'll send a Patronus over to lead him to us, and it means you'll be stuck dueling me until he does find us."

Grinning because Harry had better luck then anyone, plus he had to learn tracking magic to be able to find their camp when he was foraging. Their year on the run had made Hermione hate camping, which sucked because it used to be something special between her and her dad. Her mother Helena had never been interested in camping, so it was something Hermione and her dad did together. She wondered if he and her mother had married yet, she knew they'd been together since they graduated high school, but had waited until after they graduated dental school to get married.

"Focus, rule one of dueling, you push everything out of your mind other then what's necessary. Letting your mind wander to other thoughts will lead you to losing. You need to be able to only focus on your surroundings, your opponent(s), and your magic. No matter what your opponent may say to unsettle you, you must ignore it, feelings have no place in a duel. Yes, protectiveness can fuel you and make you stronger, but it is a double edged sword that can be used against you. Most people aren't capable of allowing their feelings into a duel without it costing them the match."

Giving Alastor a sheepish smile, Hermione realized that they had somehow ended up in a clearing, the terrain obviously manipulated by magic to provide cover. It was less like a proper arena and more the type of area to prepare you for real world fights.

"So are we following society's rules for dueling, or only following the no lasting harm rules?"

Alastor laughed, "you sure act like you've known me longer than a day Hermione, polite dueling won't prepare you for the world out there. I want to see what you can do. Before we start, I apologize, but I must ask is there any chance you could be pregnant, I won't risk fighting a pregnant witch," the look on his face said this was bringing up some kind of terrible memory for him. Hermione wondered whether it was him that fought the witch or if he had only witnessed the aftermath.

"None at all Alastor."

"Good," and that was all he said before the first spell was whizzing past Hermione's head. It was only because she had been expecting some kind of sneak attack that she hadn't been hit. Alastor seemed pleased that she dodged, an enthusiastic grin on his face that stretched his scars in an odd way, she was certain most people would be a little freaked out seeing Alastor grinning at them. Hermione wondered if maybe that was why Alastor didn't smile at many people.

Shaking her head she pushed those thoughts out of her mind for now. As he said letting her mind wander outside of the duel and spells was only going to make her lose spectacularly. Giving Alastor a grin of her own she shot a quick spell at his head with her wand, well using her hand to cast a quicksand spell at his feet. Unfortunately, it seemed he was watching her every move closely, so the sand only touched the tip of his boot before he was flinging himself out of the way. Doing a flip in the air. It was odd seeing him so agile. Even with having lost the one leg, but it seemed like it didn't slow him down at all.

Putting Teddy down for his nap was easy, although it took Harry a while to find the clearing that Mad-Eye and Hermione were using for their duel. Honestly it probably would have taken him a lot longer if he hadn't seen the flashing lights from the spell usage. When he arrived, he was in awe. The two of them seemed to be locked in a deadly dance.

He had never seen Hermione so clearly in her element, she had never seemed to lose herself completely in a duel as she was now, although he saw the moment that both she and Mad-Eye realized he had arrived. Both stiffening for just a brief moment and then allowing their spell usage to be limited to not head into his direction at all. Harry wondered whether it was a conscious movement on both of their parts, or whether Mad-Eye was just following Hermione's lead. Knowing Mad-Eye he could have decided either way on containment spells to not involve other parties, He could see it as something they needed to work around and leave them out, or he could have them up so that a duelist didn't feel like they had to limit themselves, that or he could change it on a case-to-case basis.

He wondered if it was because Hermione trusted that Mad-Eye couldn't be hurt by anything she threw at him, or whether it was a mutual trust on both of their parts that made them seem to be so efficient in fighting each other. Both of them were flinging spells so quickly that Harry could barely keep up on who was casting what. They both seemed to be switching between spells that would affect their opponent and spells that would use their surroundings to their advantage.

Knowing they wouldn't finish their duel until one of them was out of commission, Harry decided to just sit back and enjoy the show. Besides watching the two of them duel was quite educational. Showing what he might use himself in the future, not only for regular duels, but in true fights. He wasn't sure whether Aurors were authorized to fight to kill yet, or whether they were handicapped still by not being allowed to kill anyone in battle. Meaning he might need to get creative to make sure he'd be able to catch his opponents instead of letting them escape.

In the end it was Hermione who started to falter, Harry wondered exactly how long the two of them would have been able to duel if Hermione was at peak health. They'd have to both visit healers to get them on a potion regiment and diet that would help them, something they hadn't done back home because they hadn't wanted their personal details shared with the world. Neither of them had liked being in the spotlight. Not when they were both trying so hard to keep themselves together after the horrors they had witnessed from the moment they had both joined the wizarding world.

"Better then I expected. Haven't seen a non-Auror last that long against me in a long time, and the ones who did either had years of experience with dueling or fighting for their lives. You're going to need to get your body into better physical shape, it's one of the main things that effected you today, we're going to have to decide on a workout routine and meal plan to get your body up to par with your magic and knowledge.

"Evan's you're up. Let's see how you fair over your sister."

Harry was nervous to be fighting against Mad-Eye, he had never actually trained with Mad-Eye's future self, but he knew just how formidable an Auror he had been. He was worried that he wouldn't hold up to expectations, especially after seeing just how well Hermione had fared.

Even though it had only been a couple days Hermione seemed lighter than Harry had seen her in a long time. It made him feel guilty because he wondered if her life would have been filled with so much stress if she hadn't been his best friend. Sure, she had always been at risk as a muggleborn, especially a muggleborn witch who out-preformed the stuck-up pureblood's she had as classmates from the start, but he wondered if it would have been so bad if he hadn't been in the picture. Maybe Hermione would have fled with her parents, instead of her loyalty keeping her to fight with him.

Of course, he and Hermione had had this conversation multiple times over the years, and she would hex him if she knew his thoughts had headed in this direction again. However, he just couldn't help wondering, especially when despite her exhaustion she had the biggest smile he had ever seen on her face.

Giving Mad-Eye a nervous grin Harry took a deep breath and pushed all of his thoughts outside of the duel out of his head. Allowing only his knowledge of his magic, his surroundings, and his opponent to be left behind.

"Interesting," Mad-Eye said his gaze roving Harry's face for a brief moment before he started to fling a hex.

Mad-Eye hadn't even finished his incantation before Harry had moved out of the way of his wand, Harry practically flying over the terrain as he moved, it was the one spot where Harry had a better chance. Even if Mad-Eye could maneuver a lot better then Harry had imagined with his wooden leg, he wasn't able to keep up with Harry, all of Harry's training had paid off. After he had started healing from the war, he had started running every day to build up his stamina, and then he had the occasional duel with Hermione or Bill. He never wanted to be in the position where his lack of prowess meant someone he loved got hurt, he'd never forget Hermione's screams.

With a jolt Harry realized that Mad-Eye must have gotten him with something for his thoughts to be drifting so much, even with Bill he had never gotten this distracted. Even if his distraction had to do with his training. It was an interesting method of attack and since Harry's finite didn't work, it must have it's own counterspell. It seemed to make his thoughts drift to something related to what he was thinking about at the time, which could eventually end up with him in a mindset that wouldn't allow him to concentrate on his duel at all.

Laughing Harry decided to fight dirty, with a whispered Glacius he turned the forest floor into a sheet of ice. Harry's gotten a lot of practice running on ice as a child because of Dudley and his gang trying to chase him over frozen ponds, all of them not having the balance to be on the ice without falling, making it the easiest way for Harry to escape them. By the end he and Dudley might have put aside their differences, as Dudley grew into his own man and didn't listen to his parents as if every word they spoke was the gospel truth, but those mental scars would never quite heal.

Unfortunately, it seemed that Mad-Eye had as much experience fighting on ice because he didn't even falter when the ice crept underneath him. Instead, he looked pleased that Harry was trying to take his disadvantages into play. Giving Mad-Eye a calculating look Harry dodged three spells in quite succession, although it seemed the last spell wasn't meant to hit him, instead hitting the ice, steam rising as the ice was melted. This time Harry did slip and only a moment later his wand was in Mad-Eye's hand as the steam obscured his vision.

"You're fast Evans, but you'll need to learn that any spell you use on the terrain can be turned against you. Yes, you clearly have had a lot of experience running on ice, but as soon as it was melted you weren't able to keep your footing. It would be best for you to learn spells with obscure counterspells to put on all of your clothing, make it so you can be steady on any terrain you encounter. You have an advantage with your glasses, as long as you make it that they can't be summoned against your will, you can make them impervious to any spell that might affect your eyesight. If the steam hadn't blocked your vision, you might have been able to twist your way out of the expelliarmus.

"You also are too hesitant in using spells that can harm. I understand that this was a practice duel, but to get better at dueling you need to be willing to hurt your opponent. Especially since you want to become an Auror. We have a lot of training sessions that end up with a visit to a healer, occasionally the rare stay at St. Mungo's, because we need to learn to be lethal. We can't use the killing curse which handicaps us against our opponents, as Aurors we need to be willing to at least harm them enough that they are incapacitated, especially if there is more then one opponent. Stunning or Expelliarmus's can only do so much, they can be worked around, you need to be willing to make it so they can't walk away. Now I'm not saying permanently maim anyone, unless if it's their lives or yours or one of your partners, become creative to get everyone on your team home safely."

Mad-Eye might be being a bit repetitive, but Harry did understand where he was coming from. Those on the side of the law were massively handicapped, especially since unlike the muggle world there were less cases where it was ruled the Aurors were right in using lethal force, some even being charged for it despite the fact that they or innocent bystanders would have died. Mostly because old purebloods tended to grease palms to make their heirs or themselves free of all charges, the Ministry catered too much to the pureblood's, which is part of what lead to them feeling so superior to those of lesser bloodlines.

"I'll do my best sir."