Angel
"Tomoyo-chan, don't be shy, come in!" Sakura called, dragging her friend through the door.
"Sorry Sakura-chan...i-it is just such a beautiful house." Tomoyo smiled encouragingly but soon a puzzled expression returned to her face.
This home, somehow, I do not know why, but something about it is just so...familiar.
Tomoyo frowned as she looked around.
"Is something wrong, Tomoyo-chan?" Sakura asked, suddenly feeling worried and slightly self-conscious.
"No, no, it is nothing Sakura-chan, really. Your house is just so lovely. I can just feel the love your family has put into it!" Tomoyo smiled again at her friend and watched the apprehension disappear from her face.
"Thank you Tomoyo-chan. I'm so happy you've finally come to visit me at my home! Here, sit down, I'm going to get you some snacks and something to drink." Sakura bounded into the kitchen.
Tomoyo smiled in spite of herself as she watched Sakura's unparalleled joy. Sakura was always cheerful, and Tomoyo was so glad she had her friendship. Sakura had changed her life for the better.
Feeling her initial fear and confusion subside, Tomoyo got up and began to look around the house. She saw several photos of Sakura as a baby, and even pictures of Sakura's father and brother.
They really are a wonderful family. The family I always wished I could have had...
Tomoyo pushed these thoughts away. Why had she become so melancholy all of a sudden? She was never like this. But still, the ache continued to tug at her heart...
Until her heart just stopped.
Without even a sound, or a thought, her trembling hands picked up one of the picture frames that were lying on the desk. It was of a young woman with deep hazelnut eyes. Long, soft hair cascaded down her back, and her smile was sweet, yet reserved.
"Nadeshiko..." Tomoyo whispered in complete disbelief.
A young girl curiously peered through the doorway into her mother's room. She saw her mother sitting on her bed, quietly weeping to herself.
"Okaa-san?" the girl whispered tentatively as she crept into the room.
The woman composed herself and turned to her daughter. "Yes Tomoyo-chan?"
"Are you alright, Okaa-san?" The little girl whimpered, the worry very obvious upon her face.
The woman sighed and beckoned her daughter closer to the bed. "Tomoyo-chan, I want you to promise me that no matter what happens in life, you will never forget your friends. They are the dearest people in your life."
"Even more important than you, Okaa-san?" the girl said with an impish grin.
"Yes..." the woman replied softly and turned her gaze towards the frame she held in her hands.
The picture enclosed was that of a gorgeous woman with soft amethyst curls and a demure smile.
"Oh Nadeshiko, I am so sorry."
With a great effort, Tomoyo replaced the picture on the mantle in the Kinimoto household. Memories swirled through her mind, and she was forced to sit down.
Tomoyo glanced once again at the picture of the woman who she barely knew. Yet this woman had shaped her life completely.
"She was everything to me, Tomoyo. I loved her more than I loved anyone else in this world. My cousin. My Nadesiko. She was the most wonderful person you would ever meet, an angel on earth. We were the closest of friends and our lives were perfect. But it didn't last." A small bitter smile spread over the woman's face.
"Okaa-san, what happened?"
The woman looked down lovingly at her daughter, but something in her eyes made it seem that she was not focused on the girl, but rather something a lifetime away.
"She left me...for him."
The young girl watched as her mother's loving expression turned to one of hate as she pulled out another picture. The same young beautiful woman was standing in front of her home with her family, but this time her smile seemed much brighter, more real.
"She forgot about all of us, she forgot about me. I lost my best friend."
"Okaa-san, maybe she never forgot you. Maybe she misses you the way you miss her. You can still be friends!" the young girl smiled encouragingly.
"If only...I just wish that...Oh, Tomoyo-chan... we can't... she's dead!"
The young girl watched in shock as her mother broke down. Not knowing what to do, she put her hand on her mother's shoulder as she wept.
The girl took one more look at the picture of her mother's late friend and her family. As her eyes scanned the picture, they rested upon a young girl with short auburn hair and a candid smile; a girl almost the same age as her.
Finally, the young daughter led her heartbroken mother out of the room.
"Sakura-chan!" Tomoyo gasped.
Suddenly feeling guilty, Tomoyo averted her eyes from the pictures that were surrounding her.
Okaa-san...and Sakura-chan's mother? After all of these years, after I tried to forget all of this, why is it all coming back now?
Tomoyo tried to push the thoughts away. She felt as if she was trespassing into a world she had no right to travel in. And yet, as hard as she tried to stop them, the memories continued to resurface.
"It's almost done Tomoyo-chan, just a few more cuts."
"Okaa-san, hurry, I want to see my new hair" the young girl giggled while she covered her eyes.
"Patience." the girl's mother said with a smile. "There, you can see it now."
Excitedly, the girl looked into the mirror. Her hair was long, flowing and luxurious.
"Well, what do you think, Tomoyo-chan?"
The girl looked at her reflection in shock. It was the same, right down to the very colour. She no longer saw herself staring back at her in the mirror, but rather a memory. The memory of the woman who had broken her mother's heart.
The echo of her mother's bleak past almost sent shivers down her spine. She remembered her mother's helplessness and wanted nothing more than to push the feeling away. The young girl looked away from the mirror as quickly as she could.
As she turned towards her mother to speak her protest, she was taken aback by her expectant expression. Her mother was awaiting the approval she knew she could assume of her loving and loyal daughter. Her only child, her only joy.
"It is wonderful Okaa-san. Thank you." the young girl wrapped her mother in a tight hug.
Tears began to form in Tomoyo's eyes, but she blinked them away.
Okaa-san always wanted me to replace what she had lost. She had always told me that I reminded her so much of Nadesiko, her Nadeshiko. But...I was just so young...
Anger, regrets, guilt, all of it welled up in Tomoyo. Emotions she had never felt before, emotions she never knew existed. Emotions that she feared.
"She always had something nice to say about everyone. Never a bad word at all."
The young girl listened intently as her mother brushed her silken hair.
"Her beauty was unrivalled. She was so enchanting that she even became a model. I loved to look at all of the pictures she took. It used to embarrass her when I would look at them again and again, but they were just so wonderful!"
The woman smiled to herself, her eyes lost in some faraway world.
"Okaa-san..." the young girl began, hesitantly.
"Tomoyo-chan, oh, my Tomoyo-chan, you are so much like her. The same innocence. The same generosity. The same eyes. The same smile..."
The daughter watched as her mother turned away from her and swiftly walked out of the room.
"Okaa-san. I am not your Nadeshiko. I cannot be your Nadeshiko. I am so sorry...Okaa-san..."
"Tomoyo-chan, what's wrong?" Sakura asked as she re-entered the room.
Tomoyo looked up from her reverie. Her usual cheerful demeanor had been replaced by one that was pensive. She cast a serious look at Sakura.
"Sakura-chan, can you tell me about your mother?"
Sakura was thrown off-guard by the sudden request.
"Why are you asking, Tomoyo-chan?"
"Sakura-chan, you are my friend. I just want to know a bit more about your family." Tomoyo felt guilty using their friendship as an excuse, but she continued to push. She needed to know more.
"Well, Okaa-san died when I was very young. I was only three years old. Otou-san tells me that she loved us all very much." A sad, reluctant smile crossed Sakura's lips.
"..so, she was happy?"
Sakura looked Tomoyo squarely in the eyes. For a moment, Tomoyo wondered if Sakura knew the truth, if she had known all along.
"I think so. I hope so. With all of my heart, I do. Okaa-san left everything behind just for us. Her family renounced her once she decided to marry my father. We lived in our own little world, but it was a happy one."
Suddenly, Sakura looked away, overcome by her own words.
"...she loved you very much Sakura-chan."
Tomoyo felt the immense truth of her words.
Nadeshiko. A woman who shared her warmth with everyone around her, a woman who was loved by all. She may have had a short life, but she has touched so many people's lives. But now, she has left so many in ruin...
"Tomoyo-chan. I am so sorry. I didn't mean to-"
I may not be able to replace Nadeshiko. I cannot give back my mother what she has lost, and I cannot give Sakura the mother that she wants, but I still want to help her. I need to help her. I may not be Nadeshiko, and I know I never will be, but maybe I can give Sakura-chan the love that she needs, the love that she will always need. I know what it is like to lose a mother...
Tomoyo smiled brightly. "It is ok, Sakura-chan. You look so cute, even when you are upset!"
Sakura giggled and Tomoyo was relieved to find that her mood was back to normal. She smiled in spite of herself.
"Let's go and eat those snacks I made, I'm sure you'll love them, I made them myself!" Sakura skipped off into the kitchen once again.
Tomoyo sighed and took one last look at the beautiful portrait of an angel.
Nadeshiko, please watch over us, please forgive us for all of the mistakes we have made.
A small smile spread over Tomoyo's face and she joined her friend in the kitchen.
The cherry blossom trees showered down their blessings, as the wind sighed a frigid melody.
And, unbeknownst to the world, a lone figure with flowing hair watched the two young girls with a small sad smile.
I have always marvelled at the fact that Tomoyo and Nadeshiko's characters have so many similarities and parallels, and that no one has ever really mentioned it before. I also wonder if maybe Nadeshiko's shadow has made Tomoyo become the person that she is. Nadeshiko and Tomoyo seem to both love Sakura unconditionally, and though they do not wield the magic that everyone around them does, they still support their loved ones through every trial. So, I guess I wrote this to highlight all of those facts. It was sort of a personal mission I had. :)
So, please R/R and thank you very much for reading!