Go Back to Where You Belong

The plane landed in the airport, and Misato stood in the passenger terminal, waiting for her two kids to return to her. She held up a giant sign that was made entirely of beer cans, that way, the two could never miss them.

Rei and Kaworu stood off to the side, a few feet away from the over zealous Sub-Commander of NERV. The two with red eyes held hands, waiting for their friends, and to tell them of some news.

Kensuke already had his camera glued to his face, and was taping an annoyed Toji and Hikari. It was unclear whether Toji or Hikari was more angry. Finally, Toji blocked the camera with his broad shoulders, and held Hikari close enough to shield her from its glare also.

Both of them blushed uncontrollable, and Kensuke cried out, "Ha! This'll be great! I can see it now… 'Our First Memories: Suzuhara-Horaki Edition.' This is too good to pass up!"

Toji shouted back, "Why don't you film the 'Nagisa-Ayanami Edition' first!"

Kensuke looked at the pilots and shivered, "Man… Those two give me the creeps just thinking about it. It would be like filming a family of rocks!"

Rei and Kaworu simply shrugged, and the silver haired youth stated, "I was unaware that stones could have a family."

Kensuke was dumbstruck, "… Okay then… Back to Toji and Hikari!"

Misato watched the commotion, and sighed, 'When are Shinji and Asuka going to get back?'

Ryoji Kaji, super spy, snuck up on the unsuspecting Misato Katsuragi, and wrapped his arms around the woman. "Hey there, beautiful."

Though she jumped, Misato simply looked backwards to the man and said, "You really need to work on your pick up lines. All of your old ones are going in a cycle now."

The man's head drooped and he sighed, 'Damn! How can I figure this one out? I think it's time to call on the one that knows Misato best: Shinji!'

Misato blinked and thought about her relationship with Kaji, 'I can't believe it! I love this man but I still push him away! I'll have to ask Shinji about this one…'

(-----)

Shinji held Asuka's hand in the airport terminal, and looked for their guardian and friends. Asuka sighed, "Scheisse!"

Shinji worriedly looked to her and said, "What's wrong?"

The girl simply pointed to a large sign made entirely of beer cans, "That's what's wrong, Dummkopf!"

The boy grimaced as he saw the spectacle his girlfriend was pointing to. He muttered to the girl, "Damn Misato! She probably finished all of those today too… Hey, it looks like everyone is there! Rei, Kaworu, Toji, Kensuke, Hikari, Misato obviously, and even Kaji's come to welcome us back."

Asuka grabbed his hand and started to yank it, "Come on Shinji! We're gonna keep them waiting! Hurry up you idiot!"

The young Ikari was taken completely off guard and stumbled forward, dropping all of his and Asuka's bags, "A-Asuka! Hold on! I dropped all of your clothes!"

The girl turned to Shinji and cried, "DUMMKOPF! PICK UP MY STUFF! HOW CAN YOU JUST LET IF FALL LIKE THAT!"

He recoiled and said, "S-sorry! I-It was an accident… Besides, you're the one that made me drop them!"

She rolled her eyes, a small amount of color rising in her cheeks, "What's with all of the details? You're always nitpicking! Just pick up my stuff!"

He smiled and picked up all of her things, including the few possessions of his own. He continued to grin as he dumped one of Asuka's bags into her arms.

The Second Child scowled, "Hey! You're the boy! You should do all of the physical labor!"

Shinji took hold of the bag in Asuka's arms and said, "Ha… I was just kidding anyway. Don't worry. I'll take care of it."

She had her hands on her hips and spoke, her voice dripping with sarcasm, "Ooh! You're such a gentleman."

Shinji looked down uncomfortably, "Asuka… What's my punishment this time?"

Asuka grinned impishly, "I haven't thought about it yet. But don't worry, there'll be a punishment for you."

The Third Child sighed, 'I really need to quit doing this… How can I just do something so stupid when I know there'll be a penalty?'

The German girl's eyes light up with a savage glee, "I got it! If Misato cooked, you have to eat it without complaining! You also have to take seconds and even thirds if they're offered!"

Shinji groaned, "If I die it's your fault!" The girl said, "Don't you even think of dying! I won't have anyone to pick on then… but also… I wouldn't have anyone that loves me…"

A solitary tear dripped from her face, but Shinji stopped it on her cheek, and whispered reassuringly, "You just gave me the only reason I need to survive."

(-----)

Misato spotted the figures of her family, and shouted to them, "Asuka! Shinji! Over here!"

She ran towards the two and squeezed them both so hard that Shinji swore he could feel his shoulder pop out of place. Asuka finally managed to gasp out, "Okay Misato! We get the message! Don't kill us!"

The Sub-Commander of NERV let go of the children and said, "I'm glad to have you back! Once we get home I can give you both your Christmas gifts!"

The two pilots nodded dismissively, and followed the woman to their friends. Asuka talked with Misato, Kaji, Hikari and Rei, while Shinji addressed the boys.

Toji laughed, "So how was Germany? Were all of the people as rude as The Demon?"

Shinji's face darkened for a second but said, "No… Most of them were pretty nice."

Suzuhara raised an eyebrow, "Whaddaya mean most?"

Shinji decisively spoke, "I'll just say that I should give your punches more credit."

Toji frowned, "You ain't getting out of this one buddy! Spill it!"

The Third Child shyly smiled, "Well… Some kid was trying to make a move on Asuka… He started to make fun of me and said 'What are you going to do? Karate?' So I flipped a coin to distract him, then smacked him upside the head and said, 'Karate that!'. I thought it was a cheap shot, so I let him hit me. It didn't even make me flinch."

The former Fourth Child burst out into uproarious laughter, "HAHAHA! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! YOU THE MAN SHINJI!"

Kaworu smiled benignly, "So… Did you enjoy yourself in Miss Sohryu's company?"

Shinji looked straight into his eyes and simply replied with a nod of his head.

Toji fell over and covered his ears, "BETRAYAL! HOW COULD YOU BED THE DEMON!"

Shinji looked at Kaworu and nodded, and the both of them kicked Suzuhara in the side, and Shinji shouted, "It's not like that! Damn! Get your head out of the gutter."

Kensuke, who had been silent, spoke up, "How about your spectacle in Berlin? Now that was interesting!"

Shinji glared at the boy, "How did I know you'd find that?" The bespectacled boy shrugged and laughed, but Asuka ran over and pulled Shinji outside, where the car was waiting.

(-----)

All of his friends had left, and Misato was passed out in her room, but Shinji sat on the balcony, basking in the moonlight. The door slid open behind him, and Asuka silently moved towards him.

She wrapped his waist with her arms, and said, "Why aren't you in bed?"

Shinji looked over the nightscape, "I couldn't… I just had a feeling that something bad will happen soon."

Asuka traced circles with her finger around his scar, and said quietly, "It's probably just the next Sin. But don't worry. We'll be ready for it."

Shinji sighed, "I hope you're right… and what's your fascination with that scar?"

Asuka moved closer, and her bosom rested against his back. She allowed her hand to stray further up his body and lightly dragged her fingers across his skin, "Doesn't this send chills up your spine?"

As she said it, he shivered, and said, "How do you do that?" Asuka simply whispered, "I've had months to perfect my technique. I did it all just for you."

Shinji turned to face her, and said, "It's getting late… we should probably go to bed now."

The girl nodded, and followed Shinji inside. The Third Child walked straight into his room, and didn't expect Asuka to follow him, but she did.

I'm Not a Child

The boy lay down on his bed, and stretched out. As he was about to fall asleep, a slight thump and a whoosh of air made Shinji open his eyes.

'It's exactly like the last time! Just before the angel attack,' he thought.

Asuka was staring right at him, "What? Am I not welcome?"

To answer this question, Shinji embraced the girl, and kissed her, "Goodnight, Asuka."

She drew in closer to Shinji, using his body heat to warm her up. 'Something is wrong about this… What is missing? … I know!'

She nestled her head into Shinji's chest and he whispered, "Hey Asuka!"

The Second Child's eyes snapped open and she snapped in a low tone, "What now Dummkopf!"

He faltered slightly, but spoke up, "You didn't tell me not to think anything perverted."

Though she scowled, Asuka said, "Since I forgot, I guess I can let this one slide."

The boy next to her stammered, "B-B-B-But Asuka! I don't think I can! It's just not right!"

The fiery German moved closer and said, "That's what I like to hear… You aren't like other boys, and I like that. But Shinji… If you want… we could become… closer."

Shinji leaned his head towards the girl and kissed her passionately, "I can't do that Asuka. I don't know if we're ready."

Asuka recoiled as if she had been slapped, "Shinji! Don't you want me! I'm not a child, you know."

He stroked her hair and soothingly murmured into her ear, "I know you aren't, but… I am… I love you with all of my heart, but I don't think that I'm ready for this. Someday I will be, but not yet."

Asuka buried her face in Shinji's neck and sobbed, "I'm sorry I did that to you, but I had to know if you just wanted one thing from me…"

His fingers ran through her silky hair, and he said, "Look at me. I do only want one thing from you. That one thing is all of you."

She still had tears in her eyes, but Asuka smiled, "Shinji…" He looked right into Asuka's eyes, and she said, "Just hold me close. Hold me tight."

The girl rolled on to her other side, pressing her back against Shinji's chest, and took hold of his hands. One she draped over her waist and near her panties, and the other, she place square on her breasts.

Shinji went rigid and said, "A-Asuka! What are you doing?"

He tried to move his hands, but Asuka held on and hissed, "Dammit Shinji! Just relax, and get used to the feeling."

With his left hand, he lightly tickled Asuka's flat stomach, and his other hand was shaking.

Asuka sighed, "Don't worry. I won't beat you up tomorrow. I promise."

His right hand slowly stopped quivering, and he let his hand rest on Asuka's chest, gently massaging her bust. The girl moaned and said, "Now don't you feel better?"

His hands stopped moving, and Asuka heard light snoring behind her.

Asuka blushed heavily, and her thoughts focused on what the boy was doing before, 'Calm down Asuka! You asked him to, so deal with it. I know it felt good, but why did I force Shinji into this? Maybe one of us just needed to kick down the door. Shinji would never have done anything if I hadn't asked him to. If that spine he grew wasn't there, he wouldn't have even if I asked. I love you Shinji. I can't believe that he could show that much restraint, but I know now that I can completely trust him. I love you, Shinji Ikari.'

Her thoughts drifted away, and darkness overtook her, but she rested easy knowing that she had Shinji with her.

(-----)

Misato opened the door to Shinji's room, and glanced at what was going on and just about fainted, 'IS THAT SHINJI'S HAND?'

After composing her thoughts, the woman reasoned, 'I guess they have seen enough of life to be considered adults. I need to talk to these people.'

Misato went back into Shinji's room and roused the couple, dragging them into the kitchen. Misato sat down at the table, "Look guys… I saw what you two were doing."

Shinji paled and looked like he could die right there, but Asuka blushed and said, "I don't care. I love Shinji, and he proved that yesterday. We didn't have sex, actually the opposite. I asked him about it, and he said 'We're not ready.' So I had him hold me."

Misato looked impressed and said, "Shinji didn't take you up on your offer? That just shows you that he is the right kind of guy to fall in love with. I want to talk about sex though."

Asuka rolled her eyes, "Oh great, 'the Talk!' Just what I needed."

Misato glared at Asuka and said, "Look, most people would try to stop you two, but I'm just here to say this: When you're ready, just tell me. Okay? I want to make sure both of you are safe…"

Shinji still was pale and babbled incoherently, yet again Asuka took control, "You're serious? I thought you'd be angry."

Misato pensively smiled, "You called me a hypocrite once… If I was angry, that would really make me a hypocrite."

Misato looked to Shinji and said, "Listen Shinji. You probably should get used to intimate physical contact with Asuka. It would be in both of your benefits, just don't do anything too intimate without consultation."

Shinji was now a deep shade of crimson, but he said, "W-Well… I guess so. I'm just kind of embarrassed to talk about this with anyone but Asuka."

Misato smiled, "I'm nothing! Just think of what your mother will do when you get in the Eva."

Shinji's eyes threatened to pop out of his sockets, he became whiter than snow and quietly cursed, "Oh, shit!"

Asuka grabbed his hand, "Shinji… Just tell her the truth. I think that would be for the best that your mother knew."

Misato looked at the pair and said, "Shinji… The Commander wanted to see you," she looked to Asuka, "…Alone."

Shinji sighed and shivered, 'Damn!' He stood up and started his walk to NERV.

(-----)

Gendo sat in his office, with nothing but a cup of coffee and a book wrapped in cloth to keep him company.

Shinji slowly entered, and Gendo spoke, "I see you are back from Germany. I trust it was an enjoyable trip?"

The Third Child nodded slowly and looked at the coffee, "Father… Is that yours?"

Gendo was startled but nonetheless answered, "Indeed."

Shinji looked at the ground and shyly began to talk, "I heard from Mr. Langley that I drink my coffee like… you."

Gendo smiled behind his hands, 'Interesting… I was unaware of this.' "From the reports of Sub-Commander Katsuragi, I see that you are getting physically and emotionally close to the Second Child," Gendo said in his cool, Commander's voice.

Shinji nodded slower than before and became a shade of crimson, "Y-Yes… That's true."

The older Ikari sighed slightly, "Yui… would be proud of you."

The Third Child blanched, "That's the thing… I'm not sure if I should hide what happened last night from her or not."

Gendo chuckled a little, "If I know anything, I know that Yui would just be happy to know that you've found a girlfriend."

Shinji smiled and spoke, "Th-Thank you, father."

The Commander of NERV rose to his feet and beckoned to the boy, "Come. Walk with me for a short way."

The two walked in silence, and ended up in front of Eva Unit 01's cage. Gendo pulled a small package from under his coat and said, "Shinji, there is something I have for-"

The man was cut off by a lone soldier running up to him, "Commander Ikari, sir! Is this the designated pilot of Eva Unit 01, Shinji Ikari?"

The Commander, irked at being cut off, snapped back, "Yes. Now why are you here?"

The man smiled devilishly, "I do not answer to you. I am here for the boy."

Gendo pushed Shinji to the side viciously, and a loud bang echoed through the cages. The man, an assassin sent by SEELE, was dead, a bullet placed right through his skull.

Gendo's shoulders slumped and he coughed violently into his hands. When he withdrew them, his pristine, white gloves were stained red with blood. He leaned heavily against the railing and said gruffly, "Are you okay?"

Shinji nodded and cried out, "Father!"

The Commander turned to him, and clutched at his stomach, which was pouring out blood by the ounce. The man gritted his teeth and tried to maintain his strong exterior, "Shinji… I wanted… to give you… this… Merry Christmas…" Gendo held out the wrapped package, and gave one final jerk, before he fell silent forever.

Of its own accord, The Evangelion Unit 01 moved its arm and picked up the corpse of Commander Ikari. It let out a low, wailing growl, and Shinji fell to his knees, tears blurring his vision.

He punched the ground until his hand bled.

Gendo floated into a standing position, and orange hexagons spiraled around him. Slowly, the hexagons dissipated, and moved towards the Eva, but Shinji was in too much shock to notice.

The boy that sat on the floor, gradually opened the small package, and opened the book that was covered. Inside, he found pictures of his family, he even found one of himself and Asuka.

At the end, Shinji saw a picture of Gendo, Yui, and himself smiling. A note was attached to the next page, it read, 'I am sorry for the treatment you have endured these long years. I may never make it up to you. I said that I keep all my memories locked in my heart. I lied. These are all of the pictures I could find of Yui, and I hope you will enjoy them. Gendo Ikari. P.S. I may have never said this before, but I love you, Shinji.'

Tears stained the paper, and Shinji sobbed loudly, and screamed at the top of his lungs.

(-----)

Shinji sat in the infirmary, gripping the book he had received from his father. His room was empty, and Shinji's blue eyes were dull and lifeless. His relationship with his father was improving, but fate stole him away before he could be forgiven.

His door slid open, and a redhead moved to his side.

When she reached out to hold his hand, the boy curled into a ball, "Go away…"

Asuka allowed one tear to slide from her eye, then grabbed his hand, "No."

The Third Child looked into her eyes and said, "Please go away."

She replied in a shaky voice, "I'm afraid I can't do that, Shinji."

His dead eyes drooped back to the book, and he said, "Why won't you go?"

Asuka squeezed his hand, "I won't let you wallow in despair! It sucks and does nobody any good! You helped me through my dark times, so now I'm returning the favor."

He sighed, but his voice steadily rose into a scream, "I hate this. I hate… I hate… I HATE MYSELF! I SHOULD HAVE STOPPED IT! DAMN IT! HE'S DEAD BECAUSE SOMEBODY WANTED TO KILL ME!"

Asuka stood him up with a disgusted look on her face, "Wake up!" She slapped him hard across his face, "You think it's your fault! That's a load of bullshit! You couldn't do anything to stop it! Stop feeling bad about that! If you want to feel bad, feel bad for your father!"

Shinji's eyes had a flicker of light in them, as his self-pity started to crack.

Red lights flashed, followed by the alarms of NERV's defense system.

"Scheisse!" Asuka cursed, and dragged Shinji to the Evangelion cages. The two changed into their plug suits and entered the Evangelions. Asuka's synch ratio jumped to 100 but Shinji's dropped down to 36. Both of the Evas were launched, and prepared for battle.

Wrath

Wrath, the hunched over figure on the monitor, let out a roar that scared the NERV technicians. It was the relative size of an Eva, but it had bat-like skin and features, down to the leathery wings that were folded behind it.

It spread its wings and began flying towards the position of the Evangelions. Units 00 and 05 were not yet ready to launch, but would be within five minutes.

Only Shinji and Asuka occupied the battlefield. From the air, Wrath unleashed fiery chains from its body, which wrapped around Unit 01, burning at the restraints.

Asuka's mind was filled with a picture of Shinji in indescribable pain. "M-mama? Mama… I need to help Shinji!" she said.

A warm familiar presence engulfed her, and Asuka smiled, "Thank you mama!"

A sonic glaive was sent up to Unit 02, and Asuka jumped into the air as high as she could. Her Eva was breaking through the clouds, and she finally began her descent.

Her A.T. Field began to swirl around the tip of the glaive, and Asuka leaned forward, applying all of her weight to the strike. As she plummeted towards the earth, her Eva's eyes glowed savagely.

Asuka whispered, "Shinji…" Her Unit 02 cut a gigantic gash along the 5th Sin's back, exposing the core.

As she was turning to face her opponent, Wrath looped a chain around the redhead's neck, and started to strangle the life from her. Asuka cried out in pain, "Shinji…! H-Help me!"

Shinji's dull eyes flared to life, "GET AWAY FROM HER!" His synch ratio jumped to a staggering 350, and his Evangelion gripped the chains that held it down.

With the flick of its wrist, the chains were broken, and Unit 01 released a horrific screech that made the Sin falter. With a feral craze overtaking him, Shinji dove onto the Sin, tearing at it with his claws. Though it tried to raise its hands to defend itself, Unit 01's bloodlust was not sated.

He continued to claw at the Sin vehemently, as if he were digging a hole to another country. After eviscerating Wrath, Shinji began to pound away on its head. With one tremendous blow, Unit 01 turned Wrath's skull into pudding.

Though it was indefinitely dead, he kept pounding away at the mass of pulp. Inside of the entry plug, Shinji's one thought repeated itself, 'KILL! KILL! KILL!'

His mother pleaded with her son to stop, 'Shinji! Stop, please!' He ignored her and continued to butcher the carcass without mercy. One voice began to speak to Shinji, it was just learning to speak, and was semi-shaky.

It gruffly called out, 'Shinji! Stop now!'

The young Ikari screamed out in his entry plug, "NO! MY JOB IS TO KILL THE ANGELS!"

The voice spoke in a harsh voice, 'Irrelevant! It is terminated, so you orders are no more!'

Shinji was calming down slightly, "W-Who are you!"

The voice said, 'Do you not remember? I was reunited with Yui! It is your Father.'

Shinji stammered, "F-Father! But you died!"

Gendo's voice spoke, 'There is no longer one soul in the Eva, but there are two, your mother and I.'

Shinji slumped in the seat, "I'm glad that I can have my family… Father… Thank you… for the album."

Yui spoke up, 'So… I heard about what you and Asuka have been up to. I have to say Shinji… You really surprised me with that. I'm glad you have found what makes you happy. At the same time, I'm worried about you becoming intimate with somebody.'

Shinji sighed, "You don't have to worry… I told Asuka that I wasn't ready when she asked about it."

Yui sighed, 'That is good. You two make a good couple. I think that Misato is doing a good job raising you. Now Shinji… You must look upon the Sin known as Wrath, and see what happens when you loose check with your emotions.'

Shinji did as he was instructed, and looked at Wrath, but what he saw was not agreeable with him. Immediately Shinji retched in the entry plug, for the gruesome sight also showed Shinji's rage.

(-----)

Shinji climbed out of his entry plug, and stumbled onto the catwalks of the Evangelion Cages. The boy steadied himself and slowly moved to his Eva.

He stroked its hard, purple armor, and thought, 'It's ironic that the one thing that I depend on is what took my family…'

Asuka stomped towards the Third Child, "DUMMKOPF! GET OVER HERE!"

Shinji subserviently walked to the girl, and averted his eyes.

Asuka reared back and slapped him hard across the face, "What the hell do you think you're doing! You didn't even fight back when the Sin was attacking you, but you go and turn it into a bloody mass of pulp if he even looks at me! You need to hold your own life with more value!"

Shinji smiled a little, and tears dripped off of Asuka's face, "You damn… You damn… You damn Dummkopf! I could have lost you!"

The boy took a step towards Asuka and brushed away her tears, "Look… I know how I acted after Father… died. But I've changed… I have. You know about my Eva…"

The girl covered Shinji's hand with her own, pressing it against her cheek, "Your mother's soul… She is the Eva."

The Third Child sighed, "Yes… My father's dream was to be reunited with her. He is now also a part of the Eva."

Asuka looked at the floor, "Do… Do you hate him?" Shinji heaved another great breath, "I used to… but I don't anymore."

Asuka pulled Shinji's head towards her own, and rested her forehead on his. She whispered right to him, choking back tears, "Just promise me that you won't join them and leave me… alone."

He looked right into the girl's eyes, and formed the portal between them, "Asuka… I would die a thousand deaths if I weren't able to see your face again."

The now only living Ikari pulled Asuka close to himself and kissed her with all of the passion he could summon. Though neither noticed, Eva Unit 01's eyes blinked contentedly, and if it was possible, it seemed to smile.

(-----)

"Hey Idiot… I'm starting to get hungry," Asuka commented to Shinji, who was scrawling in his notebook.

He looked up and smiled, "Sure." Shinji stood up off of the couch and moved into the kitchen.

Asuka followed him, and hopped up onto the counter. She sat there and analyzed the boy's movements. Each time he would look at the girl, Shinji would grin.

When their eyes met, Asuka faked scowling, "Just hurry up, Third Child!"

He nodded and went about preparing a meal for his girlfriend. He set a pot on the stove to simmer, and Shinji looked at Asuka, "I forgot to thank you…When I was in the hospital…"

She blushed and said, "I didn't do anything you wouldn't do. You would've been there for me if I was in the hospital."

The Third Child moved closer to the German girl, and squeezed her tightly, "Thank you, Asuka."

She stroked his hair and said, "That's what love is for, Idiot." The Second Child leaned closer to the boy and kissed him, "There… Now hurry up with that food."

He turned back to the task at hand, and hummed an unknown tune to himself ever so lightly. Once he finished cooking, the boy set a massive portion near Asuka and backed away, bowing slightly.

She looked from her bowl to the boy, and then said in her usual fiery voice, "Well! Aren't you going to sit down!"

He blushed and quickly stuttered, "O-Oh! S-Sorry!" As he sat down facing Asuka, the girl tore into her meal, devouring it within a manner of minutes. The girl sat back in her chair, and Shinji removed her dish and began to clean.

Though he was cleaning up for her, this didn't stop Asuka from teasing him, "Shinji… You're the perfect housewife! Ha, talk about Mr. Mom."

The young Ikari smiled and threw the rag he was using at Asuka. Where a cheery expression graced her face, after the rag hit, she peeled it off, revealing an irate countenance.

In her hair were bits of food that had come off of the dish she was eating. Immediately Shinji realized his mistake, and said, "Uh… S-Sorry?"

The girl scowled, "LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY HAIR!"

Again the Third Child apologized, and Asuka slapped him across the face, "DUMMKOPF!" She held out one of her strands of hair to examine it, and she glowered, "This will never come out!"

Shinji gaped, "I-I'm sorry Asuka!"

She looked at the boy, and burnt him with the flames in her eyes, "That's why you're going to wash my hair for me!"

(------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------)

There… Hope you like it. Once again, the outtake is in script format, because I'm lazy like that.

Outtake

Shinji: Sits up in his bed Father treated me like dirt…'

FLASHBACK!

Gendo: Get in that Duffel Bag! Points to a duffel bag

Shinji: But dad! I don't wanna!

Gendo: Shut up! Put these on! Hands over spandex shorts

Shinji: WHAAAAAAA!

Gendo: SHUT UP AND TAKE THAT SHIRT OFF! pulls shirt off of one shoulder

Voice: Aaaaand CUT! Good work both of you.

Shinji: Hey dad! When do I get my half of the money?

Gendo: Your half? You must be joking. This money is mine!

END FLASHBACK!

Shinji: That asshole never gave me my $10.50 for that commercial!