Author's Note: Sorry people about the mistakes, though I apologized last chapter, I just wanted to say it again. Also, randomly on one of the last few lines is a 3, it was supposed to be a heart, you know how you use this sign thing, and it makes a heart? Unfortunately, it didn't let me keep the sign. I know, I know, the last chapter was really sad. This one won't be happy, basically, it'll just have... I won't say, I want you to read the story right?

Chapter 4

Gone Forever

I watched as they cast spells to make her body look better, make it look as though she was never tortured, make her look like she did before she died. I guess it was a nice gesture by Dumbledore to make sure I was invited to her funeral and that Daddy, I mean Mr. Evans, and Tuna were nice to me. I guess it was nice for him to make sure her body looked nice, so that she didn't have to be lowered into her casket with all my relatives looking at her and seeing how bad she looked, all that blood, bruises, and cuts... I'll never forget, never... Never forget how she looked before they fixed her up, so much pain, but love rested in her face, she loved me so much. She loved me too much, she died because of that love. Daddy and Tuna have a right to hate me, I know I hate myself.

Everyone's asking me how I feel, if I'm okay, if I need anything, if I want to go back to St. Mungo's. As of right now I'm at Godric's Hollow, as we've found out the hard way that Potter Mansion isn't safe anymore. Thankfully, they made sure that they have a lot of wards on Godric's Hollow, and it has top notch security, so many Aurors were stationed at the gate that led to Godric's Hollow. Somehow, safety didn't matter as much, because there were wards on the Potter Mansion while my Mum was there, and look what happened to her. I suppose I should feel thankful that I'm still alive and that Mum died trying to protect me, but in the end she managed to hurt me the most. She hurt me by dying to protect me, when she died she ripped out a piece of my heart. My broken heart feels empty, and hollow. Every time I look at myself in the mirror, I have this urge to shatter that mirror, but in the end I manage to convince myself that its not worth it. I mean, breaking a mirror won't heal my broken heart, and breaking a mirror won't bring Mum back. No matter how I wish it could be like that.

James and the others sort of avoided, but I shouldn't be talking, I admit, at the present moment, I'm not much of a conversationalist. Everyone is so nice to me that I feel like running out of the house screaming. Anymore people coming to express their pity, and to tell me what a dear child I am, and shouldn't have to go through this, I'm going to tell them where they can take their pity and sympathy. Can anyone see that all I want is to be given space, and not a bunch of people swarming around me, giving me flowers, and smothering me with their niceness?

That psychopathic ward that Dumbledore escaped from is starting to sound pretty good to me. Oh great, another one! This is getting too much. I grabbed my sketch book and pencil, threw it into my backpack, and ran out onto the balcony. Slinging the backpack over my shoulder, I carefully stepped over the railing, and onto the edge of the balcony, trying to keep my balance I quickly reached out to grab the vine. Grasping the vine tightly in my fist, I started the long climb down, as soon as I was within jumping distance from the ground, I jumped off. I swiftly ran towards the woods that the Potters had in their backyard. Sighing with relief once I reached my destination, I sank to the ground, and leaned against the tree for support. I plucked my bag off from the ground, and dumped its contents to the ground. As my sketch pad, and pencil fell, so did a little book, miniature jewelry box, and a picture.

Startled, I looked through the other things that fell out. The little book, it was a diary that my Mum kept. On the cover in big, bold, golden, and glossy letters, it said, 'The Diary of Annelise Rose Payne.' I read through the whole book as soon as I realized what it was, as if it would disappear at any given moment. As I finished the last page of the diary and was about to close the little book, a letter fell out.

"This is weird," I muttered to myself. Unfolding the letter, I opened it, and read this:

Dear Lily,

How are you my darling child? You're probably wondering how on earth I know that you're reading this, well, if you read the diary, then you know that I'm not exactly the squib I led everyone to believe. I didn't let anyone know that I was a witch, because my real parents were powerful dark wizards, they were nice to me, because I was their daughter, but I knew that if I went to Hogwarts, or any other magical school, that I'd be trapping myself into the inevitable. I knew that a dark lord was on the rise, Grindelwald, and that my parents would make me side with him, once I grew older. They were already trying to make, Jonathon, my older brother, like that. He didn't want that either, and he helped me escape. We didn't keep in touch for fear that our parents would find out.

So, since squibs are scorned in the wizarding community, especially the pure-blood one, I was disowned from the Malfoy family. After that, I was taken to an orphanage for a week or two, before I was adopted by the Payne family. Michelle and Mark were wonderful parents, and I'll never forget how kindly they took me in, and they didn't care that I was a witch. They let me stay in their home, and when mostly all the shoppers were gone from Diagon Alley one night, we went in and bought me supplies, they bought me all I needed. I was a home-schooled witch, and proud to be one. Just because I had to fake being a squib didn't mean I had to act like one. What you don't know is that, Petunia isn't your real sister, and Daniel isn't your real father. No, you weren't adopted, but I had married someone else before I married Daniel, his name was... (Here it was a little blurry, but I could make out the words, kind of.) ...Tobias Snape, so technically, you're a Snape, not an Evans. Tobias and me, we didn't work out in the end, we got divorced, he met Eileen Prince, and they married and had Severus. Tobias, Eileen, and me have always been friends, even afterwards. Daniel hated that, he hated that I was a squib, (I never told him I was a witch) and he hated that you might be a witch.

I loved Daniel at first, but before we found out for sure that you were a witch, we were considering getting a divorce, so don't think that was your fault. I died Lily, I know that, I have a certain type of power, I can tell when and how a person will die. I know that Voldemort killed me, but truthfully, I was dying on the inside too, I hated Daniel, after Tobias and me got divorced, I found out that I was pregnant, Michelle and Mark didn't want me to be unmarried and pregnant, so they made me marry Daniel. I loved him with time, but then that love fell away, and I hated him, I truly did. He thought that if you became a witch, he could squash the magic right out of you, make you normal. I loved Petunia, but she wasn't my child, you are, so I'll always love you more, so how could someone try to make my child normal? I didn't want that for you, so I went away to the Potter Mansion, I dropped off my stuff, and was about to leave, when Voldemort caught me. I know that I was in a lot of pain, but that didn't matter, I was dying to protect my baby, you Lily, and in the end it wouldn't have mattered if you could have turned back time to save me, I would have done it over and over again, just for you. I love youmy little flower!

Love you always and forever,

Mum

I love you too Mum, I thought, silently, tears falling down my cheeks. Somehow, the pain of losing her had lessened, after reading the letter she wrote to me. "I'll never forget you Mum, but now I know that your death isn't my fault, and I know that you wouldn't want me to mope around, I'll try and do what I normally do, for you sake." I said quietly to myself.

"That's good," someone said loudly, "I was beginning to think that you'd never start to live again." I stood up and looked around, it was Remy, of course.

"Hey Remy," I said quietly, " I know that I haven't been the best friend ever, but can you forgive me for ignoring you, when you tried to help me?" Hoping that he could, I knew that Remy would, but I just had this irrational fear, that he wouldn't be able to forgive me.

As if sensing my fear, he gently smiled at me, and said quietly at first, then exclaimed, "Of course I forgive you, you're my little sister, and I'm your older brother, we're inseparable!" Smiling at me full out, he picked all my stuff, dumped into my backpack, and slung it over his shoulder. As I knew that my protests would fall on deaf ears, my only response was to sigh, and link arms with him, as we headed towards... home... It's kind of strange to think about it, the only place I used to consider home, was #4 Privet Drive, now Godric's Hollow seems to have filled in the blank space where a home should have been. Who would have thought that home would be a place where the Marauders, and Evelyn and Allan lived? If someone had told me that was where my home was, I would have taken them to a mental hospital, now though, when I think about it... It just feels right, #4 was a great home, but now that I think about it, it lacked something important. Yes, you need a normal, supportive home, but you also need two parents, and loving ones. My mother loved me, but Daniel didn't, and Tuna wasn't really going to win the best sister award.

Well, it's time to see if Remy really was true in his word that he was my older brother, and that we were inseparable. Stop! I scolded my self, he may still be my older brother, and we may still be inseparable. That's a lot of may's though... Forget it! I'll do it, this way I'll know whether or not he really means what he says.

With a heavy sigh, I turned towards Remy. Remy looked at me questioningly. "Remus, I want to know something, will you still want to be my sister, if I told you a secret, a big one. I only found out about it today, but I want to know that you'll be there, even if it changes how you think of me."

Remy's face changed from mischievous and joyful, to serious and solemn after hearing me call him by his real name, and not his nickname. "Lily, no matter what it is that you have to tell me, I'll always be here for you." Remy said, taking his arm out from mine, in order to face me properly. "Now, what is it that you're so worried about telling me?" he asked me. Sighing again, I handed him my Mum's letter, from my pocket of my jeans. Remus read through it quickly, his eyes widening with shock as he read certain parts of it. I just kind of stood there, worrying my lip, and rubbing my hands together, in nervousness. Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime, Remy folded the letter up, finished with reading it. "Is that all you were worried about? That you are the Malfoy's granddaughter, that you are the daughter of Tobias Snape, that your Mum was adopted, and that she's really a witch, and a pure-blood? That I'd leave you because you have a messed up family? Who your family is, that doesn't matter, all that matters is who you yourself are. If you choose to contact the Malfoys and tell them that you're their granddaughter and that your Mum was a witch, then that's fine. If you choose to contact your biological father, that's fine too. If you want, I'll tell you what the rumors are about them, stop laughing, I'm not an old gossip, I just have good hearing, but I can also tell you what I know of them. Just don't mention your relations to Sirius, James, and Peter, they aren't as accepting about this kind of thing. I need to tell you two things though, um... Well, first off, your Mum's funeral is... tomorrow... Also, well... I'm not sure if you'll still want to be my friend, but I'm... I'm..." Remy said, stuttering towards the very end.

"Remy," I said, interrupting him, "just tell me what you need to tell me, I promise, I'll still be your friend and sister, after all you remained my brother and best friend after I told you who I'm related to." I finished smiling at him widely.

Taking a deep breath he said, "Lily, I'm a werewolf, once a month, on every full moon, I transform. You're probably not going to want to be near me and all, but just don't tell anyone about my condition, please."

"Remy, shut up, of course I'm still your friend, just because you turn into a werewolf once a month doesn't mean a thing. You're still a good brother and friend, nothing anyone says can change that. It's not as though you asked to be a werewolf. I won't tell anyone about your condition, what do you take me for, a idiot? Of course I won't!" I said, hugging him tightly.

"Thanks Lils," he said softly, a single tear falling down his cheek, as he hugged me back tightly.

"Anytime Remy, anytime." I said, relishing this moment where I was finally happy, safe, and not burdened by guilt and pain from my Mum's death.

The day of the funeral:

The preacher went on and on, I like the preacher, but this was a death, not a time to go on and on about how people make choices, and stuff. By the way he made it sound, it was as though she wanted to die. Finally, he finished, and I wasn't forced to strangle him because of his monotonous words, that weren't feeling, or anything! He made it sound like this happened everyday, and it might've, but couldn't he show some sympathy?

Now, would any of the family or friends of Annelise Rose Payne Evans, like to say some words. (Just so you know, later yesterday, I contacted the Malfoys and Snapes, to tell them that Mum had died, they were very sad, luckily for me, Mum's biological parents had died, and all that was left of the Malfoys was her brother Jonathon, his greedy wife, and his semi-nice, semi- like son. One by one everyone said their pieces, finally Tuna and Daniel finished their speeches, which I didn't even try to listen to.

"Lily," the preacher asked me gently, "would you like to say something about your mother?"

"Yes, actually, I would like to." I answered politely.

He smiled at me, then said, "Well then, the podium is all yours."

I walked up to the podium, and took a deep breath, preparing myself for what I would say next. "My Mum, was as cool as mum's could get, she was your best friend, a stern parent, and confidant. She was special, when she walked into a room she made the room seem better, when she laughed, everyone did too, whether they knew what was funny or not, she was just like that. She loved to sing, and listen to music, she played the piano, and violin. She loved to dance, no matter where she was, she was dancing. She loved to live, and she helped everyone learn to love life the way it was. She taught me that things happen for a reason, even if we don't see them at the time. She showed me to accept people for who they really are, to take the time to find out who they actually are, not for whom they appear to be. She was always there, no matter what, and that's why its so hard for me to see her going away from me today. She was a special part of all of our lives, she wormed her way into the most deepest parts of our hearts, and she affected how we thought and felt positively. She never hurt any of us if she could avoid it, but I think by leaving, she hurt us more than she ever had. I'll never forget her, nor the lessons she taught me, and I don't think you will either, no matter how hard you try, she'll always be there, in your thoughts, and in your hearts. She was unique, she loved roses, black ones especially, and she made up a poem to go with it. Here's the poem:

Roses That Bloom

Roses bloom,

of every color,

they litter the fields,

a mist hangs above them,

dew droplets can be found on a petal or two,

but one stands alone,

it's more elegant than the rest,

it seems kind of gloomy,

but that's what it wants everyone to think,

people think it stands for death,

it really means a new beginning,

a new adventure,

a life after death,

a rose,

a special rose,

a black rose...

Roses bloom,

of every color...

She wasn't the best at poetry, but she tried her best, and that's all that counts. I love Mum with all my heart, I'd say that she's sad that she's leaving me, but she's not really. She's always going to be right here." I finished saying, pointing to my heart, smiling, even as salty tears ran down my cheeks. I got down from the podium, and walked to her grave, gently putting a bouquet of black roses, tied up by a blood red ribbon. Suddenly, someone started to clap, then slowly, they were all clapping, the preacher was clapping too. My only response was to smile and walk away, my work here was done, I wasn't needed here anymore. I walked away, my heart lighter than it had ever been.