A/N: I am still in the process of working on the next part of "Moments", but when I sat down to write today this poem came out. I like how it came, though, and wanted to get some feedback.
- Just so you know, this is from Ennis's point of view after the end of the movie.
When I grow old
I will finally have the freedoms
That I am now denied.
-
I kept putting that time off,
Saying,
When I grow old…
It is time to admit
That that time is now.
-
I can look back at my life
Honestly
Without fear
Or repercussions
For once.
-
My mistakes,
My failures
Stand out more
Than my successes,
Which seem to grow more paltry
As time floats by.
-
Now,
Only now,
Can I see
That this was the chance of a lifetime
And I let it go past
Because,
After all,
What would they think?
-
I sat
Lonely
Miserable
So that they'd think
I was perfectly content.
-
It made sense at the time.
I assure you.
-
But now,
Looking back,
Remembering the lonely winters,
And icy springs,
And blistering summers,
And death-bearing falls,
I see that my life
Was truly lived
Only on the mountain.
With you.
-
If my life were a motion picture,
I know,
Days, weeks, months would fly by
In a matter of minutes,
But the time we spent together
Would take up hours.
-
I was only ever truly living,
Truly real,
With you.
It strikes me now
That this is my fault
For not seeing
Until it was too late.
-
I am finally brave enough
To face them
And say that I don't care.
-
I finally have enough courage
To face you
And say that I love you.
-
I fianllyhave enough sense
To face myself
And say that it is too late.
-
I look at the worn shirt
I forgot
Or you stole
I don't remember anymore.
I look at the postcards you sent
Worn and faded now
But never forgotten.
These are all I have left.
-
I would cry,
But tears and regrets are useless.
They won't change anything.
-
I know now
That dreams are like birds
With clipped wings.
They look beautiful,
Free,
But they don't go anywhere.
-
I understand this
All too well.
And yet,
I dream.
-
I dream that I
Could do it all again.
If I could have one more chance
At even half a life,
Jack, I swear…
Please review and let me know what you thought of this. I very much appreciate good feedback.
Also, for anyone interested, the forum that I had mentioned is now fully up and running, look for it under Forums, Movies, "Brokeback Mountain" on this site.