Final Fantasy VIII and all characters belong to Square Enix. I also don't own the lyrics; these particular "Wicked Game" ones are from HIM.
The Sorceress War had ended with a bang, followed by peaceful silence. A calm spread over the lands. People went back to their daily lives; enjoying the solace and freedom of the new world. Garden still existed, but now it was an academic school. It still involved physical battlefield training, but who needed it? The world was saved. Sorceresses were slowly losing their power, thus losing any threat. People were no longer fighting against one another; crime had gone down significantly. SeeD was no longer needed, and Garden needed something new to keep it alive. The academics program allowed it to remain functional.
The hero of the Sorceress War still belonged to Garden, taking classes and trying to figure out what to do with his life. All he knew was fighting, war, and aggression. It was how he grew up. Now, he had to deal with himself, figuring out his emotions, wants, and needs. It was a difficult change.
Since he was previously the (short-lived) Commander of Balamb Garden, he got his own suite at Trabia, where he took daily classes and pondered his own life. His days were filled with learning experiences and internal monologues. It wasn't like he needed to do anything; the fame and fortune that came along with being a savior of the world would take care of him for the rest of his life. But he felt bored. He felt trapped. He felt like something was missing.
There was one specific source of irritation for him.
The world was on fire, no one could save me but you
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do
I'd never dreamed that I'd need somebody like you
And I'd never dreamed that I'd need somebody like you
'Seifer…' He thought, absentmindedly, opening the door to his room with a keycard. The man was turning his life upside down. Squall didn't used to need anyone, but Seifer changed everything. He didn't think he could live without him at this point. When Squall presumed Seifer was dead, he felt a hollow, dead space in his mind, and Squall thought it would overcome him. When Seifer nonchalantly turned up at his door one day, Squall couldn't deal with the plethora of emotions coming over him. Now, when Seifer wasn't with him, something felt...missing. He felt loneliness, and he got out-of-sorts. But admitting that was weakness. Squall shook his head, confused and angry, stepping through the doorway.
"Lost in your own thoughts again, Leonhart?" Squall somehow expected to hear that voice. Even though Seifer still called him by last name, it no longer dripped with sarcasm. Instead, it sounded…sincere. Everything Seifer did involving Squall was sincere now; everything between them was different. At first it threw Squall for a loop, but now he had grown used to it. He thought he liked it.
Squall said nothing, keeping silent as usual. He let the door whoosh shut behind him and left his boots at the door. He shrugged out of his leather jacket carefully, setting it over the back of a kitchen chair, not glancing back at Seifer. He could feel Seifer's intense emerald eyes burning a hole in the back of his head.
'Gods…I don't even know what to do anymore…he's always here. He's always there for me…' His thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of warm lips on his neck. His body involuntarily shivered as he felt Seifer's body press against his back. He could feel the other man's muscles through his light t-shirt. Seifer's scent wafted up to Squall's nose. It was comforting, and familiar.
No I don't wanna fall in love
this world is always gonna break your heart
No I don't wanna fall in love
this world is always gonna break your heart
..with you
'Gods, Seifer…How am I supposed to know what to do? How do I know how to act? I can't do this…' Squall took a deep, shaky breath, tensing his body away from Seifer. He closed his eyes and counted to ten, trying to turn off his emotions and his mind.
"Squall?" Squall came back to reality, glancing over. Seifer had moved back to the sofa, sprawling his arm over the back. His playful jade eyes bore into his own gray ones. "Wanna sit?" Squall slowly walked over, padding in his socks, not saying a word. He sat on the other end of the couch stiffly, keeping his back erect and his arms in his lap. Seifer sighed, rolling his eyes and leaning his head back against the cushion, exasperated. He watched Squall's eyes go out of focus as he thought to himself again.
'What am I supposed to do…' Squall thought to himself for the hundredth time that day, picking at his fingernails anxiously.
What a wicked game to play
To make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do
To let me dream of you
What a wicked thing to say
You never felt this way
What a wicked thing you do
To make me dream of you
They sat there, apart, Seifer sprawled out comfortably, limbs everyone, and Squall sitting stick-straight, tucked into himself. Pictures flashed on the television, but neither of them were paying attention. Seifer's emerald eyes were fixed on the smaller brunette, and Squall was lost in his own mind.
'Do I actually…l…love him? I can't think about that…can I? He's…a man. And I'll just get hurt in the end, anyway. Everybody leaves someday…I mean, he's left already once...' Seifer inched closer, quietly, never taking his eyes off his brooding friend.
"Squall. Earth to Squall. What are you thinking about?" Squall snapped up. Seifer called him by his real name. No puberty boy, no Leonhart, no Ice Princess, just…Squall. His heart suddenly felt like bursting. Something inside of him felt as though it was melting. Awkwardly, he shot up from the sofa, running a trembling hand through his chocolate locks. He swallowed a lump forming in his throat.
"I have to go…" He stumbled out, feeling his eyes becoming wet.
'What the fuck is wrong with me? I really am acting pubescent…all he did was call me by my name!' He paused to breathe as the door shut behind him. He could barely hear Seifer mutter from the room: "This is your room, dumbass…"
No I don't wanna fall in love
this world is always gonna break your heart
No I don't wanna fall in love
this world is always gonna break your heart
..with you
After a long bout in the training center, a tired and sweaty Squall decided to head back to his room. Gunblade sheathed and comfortably against his hip, he strode back to his room, entering silently. Pausing at the door, he stripped off his soaked white t-shirt, unbuckled his belts, and removed Lionheart, placing it by the door. He removed his shoes and socks, treading barefoot to his bedroom. Pushing the door open, he stopped dead in his tracks. There, in his king-size bed, lay Seifer, tucked under the blankets, face tilted up towards the moonlight. His tanned skin looked illuminated, and his blonde hair stuck out in every direction. Squall could see his chest lightly rise and fall beneath the thick black quilt.
It wasn't odd for Seifer to spend the night in his suite, after all, Seifer had a roommate he didn't exactly get along with. Better to have him stay here then pick fights. But tonight…
Squall took a step towards the still body across the plush carpet. His footsteps were muffled. He stared at Seifer, taking in his flawless skin, his slightly parted lips, his golden blonde hair glowing in the moonlight…
"No!" Squall exclaimed aloud, immediately covering his mouth with both hands. His mind raced, his heart pounded. When did he start noticing these things about Seifer? When he did start feeling like an angsty high school girl? All he wanted was to be able to deal with these feelings, deal with himself, and go back to being calm, settled. Seifer wasn't shy about it, Seifer wasn't uptight about anything. Why should Squall be afraid? He wasn't afraid of anything…he certainly wouldn't let Seifer best him at something…
His body began moving forward timidly, closer to his bed. His logical mind screamed at him, but his body moved on its own.
The world was on fire, no one could save me but you
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do
No and I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you
I'll never dream that I lose somebody like you, no
He stopped at the edge of the bed, a shaking hand reaching out to caress Seifer's face. His skin felt warm under Squall's hand. Seifer's eyelids fluttered, but did not open. Squall let his hand linger, looking at it queerly, as if it wasn't attached to him. Without pausing to think, without pausing to let himself run away, Squall stripped down to his boxers and slid his body under the sheet carefully, facing Seifer's body. Warmth quickly enveloped him. Seifer's body radiated heat under the blanket. He pressed his hands against Seifer's warm, bare chest, nuzzling it with his head. It felt incredible. He tucked his legs in and curled himself into Seifer's chest, burying his face like a frightened child.
"Squall?" Seifer's voice was thick with sleepiness. Squall tensed against Seifer, wondering whether to pull away or stay. He decided it was too cozy, and tried to make himself relax once more.
"Don't…say anything. Just…" Squall let his voice trail off, unsure of the words he was looking for. Seifer nodded, brushing the top of Squall's head with his hair, and slowly wrapped his arms around Squall's body. They rested heavily against him. Squall welcomed the weight; it made the feeling that much better. Squall let himself melt in the close contact, pressing himself closer to Seifer's warm body. He felt a lazy hand play with his brunette locks.
"Someday…I'll be able…to say it…but right now…" Squall struggled for words. He didn't want to speak, but something inside him felt like exploding open. He was torn between silence and expression.
"It's ok, Squall." The name rolled off Seifer's tongue, and Squall felt happiness bloom in his chest again. Seifer felt Squall shake his head, his hair brushing again his chest like the touch of a ghost.
"No." Squall whispered, muffled against Seifer's skin. "I know…I want to be with you. I know." Squall was silent after his declaration, feeling spent. His body quivered slightly in Seifer's embrace as he worried about Seifer's response. His mind raced; a million thoughts ran through his head in a matter of seconds. There was only a single moment of silence before Squall heard Seifer speak.
"You have no idea how happy that makes me." Squall was shocked to hear Seifer's voice so full of emotion, so happy. Gone was any sarcastic, jeering tone. Squall smiled to himself widely, and burrowed deeper into Seifer's embrace. Feeling Seifer's arms around him, he let himself drift into sleep.
Now I wanna fall in love
This world is always gonna break your heart
Now I wanna fall in lust
This world is always gonna break your heart
..with you