My name is Lana Lang. One time, I was beautiful. One time, I was young. But now, now I'm just another old woman, ready to be forgotten at any time. It's funny, it seems like a life time ago...could you believe that I once had love?
Yes. His name was Clark Kent. He was a man like no other. Till this day, I know he was special, something was different about him it seemed. This man, I used to love and this same man, I let slip right through my fingers. What is life without love? What is the objective?
Long ago, I lived a life of pain. My parents left me alone at such an early age, and even now...I still believe that I am cursed. Everyone whom I have loved has left my side. First my parents, then my aunt, then Whitney, the list can go on.
Just the other day, I lost Chloe. She was a brave woman, and she too knew the pain of loss. She knew the pain and mystery that is Clark Kent. Sometimes, together we'd ride horses (Chloe would attempt it anyways, she never was very good at riding), and we'd talk about Clark. We'd talk about what he stood for, what he passed on.
Clark disappeared years ago, when the earth was threatened by a pack of hostile aliens. He went missing during the seige, and miraculously, the threat ended. Everybody tells me that he was a victim, that he was taken from us. I know better.
I have a feeling that his death meant something far greater. He was a man who believed in sacrifice, a man who believed in virtue. No, he didn't die in vain. He passed on what little he could to the world, but to me, he'll always be a hero.
It was only yesterday when I sat at Chloe's funeral. I felt so alone. Not a single one of my friends was present, just a group of young journalists who looked up to Chloe's example. It's funny, when they looked at me, I no longer felt the shame I once had. The same shame that held me close to depression.
Numb. That's what I've become. When I sat in my wheelchair at the funeral, I recalled the memory when I lost Clark. It's like it was yesterday... Clark..he's gone...how could this have happened? I broke down into tears, tears that seemed painful as they fell to the floor.
I cried long and hard, and as I did so, I realized that I didn't even care that I was crying on my own shoulder. I sat alone on my floor, huddled for what seemed like hours on end. Would my life continue to be like this forever? Decades later, here I am. I am an old woman with just about enough pain to start a war.
They say never to dwell on the past. But how can you change your future if you do not think about your past mistakes? When I think about my past, one word comes to my mind: Stupid. How could I have been so selfish?
I always wanted Clark, but I fear the reason we never successfully became WE, was become I forced him away. Yes, I scarred him into leaving me. I can remember that like it was yesterday too. He left me and fell in love with Lois of all people.
Though I was hurt and shocked, I was happy for Lois. Now she would have the chance to become what I was not, or was she already what I wasn't?
It seems so childish now! Back when I had my chance, I never told him my true feelings. I always hid behind a smile, always tried to play the part of perfection. Deep down inside, I was just a hurt, scarred teenage girl. If only I had shown him that I was normal, maybe...well maybe he could still be here with me now.
guess life isn't exactly about getting what you want. As I once told Clark, "Life is about change. Sometimes it's beautiful, sometimes it's painful. But most of the time...it's both."