It's the first fic of the new year! I couldn't think of a decent title, so...T.T Blah. I know that when it changes perspectives, there's no boundaries, but that's the whole feeling of it, so please don't complain about it!) Also--This ficcie is dedicated to WindRyuHyroko, one of my VERY good friends! n.n
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I don't know what I'm doing. Really, I don't. I'm standing here, the journey's over, but the worst is yet to come. Colette's safe in bed, Genis and the professor are making hot cocoa, or at least are trying. And here I am, waiting.
Waiting.
Then I see, off in the distance, blue lights and red plumes. Kratos. He came. He staggers towards me, looking at me with those eyes of his.
I always thought that there was something a bit off about him when he looked at me, but then when I found out…I realized. I went up to him, and his mask slipped, if not for but a moment. Just a moment. His voice was hoarse, his eyes were wistful and his face was smooth and emotionless. "Take me to Derris Kharlan."
I didn't want to, I realize, I didn't. "You don't love me. You don't love Mom." I accused him, and his mask slipped again. Was I just imagining the pain in his eyes?
…His mask went back on. He couldn't show his emotions to even his son! His blood relative! I didn't know why, but my legs began to move, and once again…
…I was running.
He looked at me, spitting out words that I knew that he mustn't mean. "You don't love me! You don't love Mom!"
How does he come to that? It's because I love him that I must do this. How will I help his life if I stay here? I'm just a reminder of his blood stained past, a reminder of the Seraphim, a reminder of the angels long gone, a reminder of the false legend that had once brought hope.
I'm better off dead. I ran, ran after my son. My wings were out, and the vile taste of vomit still lay in my mouth from last night. I was the one who ran, who was a coward, not my brave, dear son who was running away from me. A firefly flew across my view, as well as Lloyd's. He stopped.
A firefly ran across my vision, as well as Dad's. Vaguely, I recall telling someone that the fireflies were actually Aska's followers in disguise, that turned into fairies, and they only came out at night because of the moon. I span around, closing my eyes as I did so.
For some reason, once I met Kratos, memories came flooding back, and I didn't like them. No, not at all…"If I let you go, would you come back?" I asked.
"If I let you go, would you come back?" Lloyd asked me, looking me in the eye. It killed me to see him like this. Why did he want a father that was never there for him, that forced him to fight, to grow up so quickly. I wish he was but a child again, that I could have that time back to just have him laughing, without a care except for spinning tales.
"I could." I said softly, grudgingly. Can he see how much he's hurting me right now? I want to come back, I want to stay, but that is not what is needed of me.
"I didn't ask that. Would you come back?"
I swallowed, knowing that Lloyd would count me on my word, "..I would." I said softly and he ran into my arms, like he was only a child again. What am I thinking? He's still a child, not yet fully grown. I hugged him tight and he placed something around my neck.
It was a locket. Hand made, I could tell, and apparently someone took a picture while I wasn't looking, because it had me, and him. But it was when all was peaceful, and he flung an arm around my neck. I remembered trying to look displeased, but I guess I had a moment of weakness.
"A hand for a hand, and a heart for a heart." Lloyd said softly. I held onto him, not wanting to let go. He's still my little boy, still Anna's little boy. Anna would be so ashamed of me right now. Lloyd broke off the embrace, his eyes brimming with tears.
Why does he have to go? Why? It makes no sense! I still need him here, with me! Mom would want him to take care of me! How can he hug me, tell me he loves me, and just leave? He said he was never there, but…Can't he redo that? Can't he make up for it? Everyone deserves a second chance, and I just don't get this, I don't. He said that he would.
…As I left, I saw him staring at me, his brow furrowed in thought. I touched his shoulder gently, "Don't die before I do. Don't die before I have a chance to see you again. Please, Lloyd….
…Don't die before I do…My son…"
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I hope that you all liked it! Please R 'n' R! n.n