Possibility
Seeing Aerith angry was something rare.
Tseng looked at the frown on her face, her thin lips slightly parted, her eyes wandering outside the glass, and he had no doubts.
Aerith was angry - and disappointed.
Usually she always tried to be polite, even to him… but right in that moment, she was silent. He didn't feel like talking, too.
There was something utterly uncomfortable with the whole situation.
Everything in that oppressing sitting place on the back of the ShinRa helicopter was screaming betrayer to him. He had got used to that word by that time, but saying it didn't hurt anymore was a lie.
He had betrayed his country when he was only eighteen - a Wutainese working for ShinRa during the war, that's what he had been. He had betrayed himself, living a more than glamorous life during the past years, wasting away all of his money as if he thought he didn't deserve it. Irony of fate, money had just kept coming, especially since they had made him the Head of the TURKS, due to his devotion for work and his serious attitude. He just had to keep trying to be flawless, at least he could prove himself he didn't come to ShinRa for nothing.
What was he doing now?
He was letting himself get involved in something he would regret - betraying Aerith.
You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs
The radio the helicopter pilot was listening to played low, but not low enough not to be heard by Tseng. He wished he could turn it off himself, but it was too far from his reach.
He turned slightly to Aerith. Not very surprisingly she noticed it immediately, and caught his eyes in hers - her huge, beautiful, emerald eyes. Time passed, yet it seemed they looked the same, always the same. Nothing in them had changed - he was the one who couldn't stand eye contact any longer. He turned away, his jet black shiny hair sliding on his navy blue uniform, his refined chin resting on bony and pale fingers.
Being a betrayer of Wutai sometimes hurt. Aerith's eyes undoubtedly hurt.
Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs
Oh, it had been stupid. Very stupid and unprofessional indeed, in a society where professionalism counted as much as lack of morality.
He had though about Aerith, sometimes. Not as the one he had to capture and oversee, not as the specimen Hojo craved for - just as a heartbreaking girl he might have been infatuated with.
But he knew what he was supposed to do - she knew what he was supposed to do, too. It didn't matter how long he had managed to postpone it, now it was done.
He had captured her. He had betrayed her.
Love makes us act like we are fools, throw our lives away for one happy day
Now it was too late even to imagine - as he used to do - annoying 'what ifs'.
What if he hadn't been a Turk, what if she hadn't been so scientifically interesting, what if they had met outside Midgar - could it have been possible? Could he have had an imaginary possibility with Aerith? They could have been a Wutainese war hero and his girl, marrying in a faraway land, among flower's petal, kimonos, exotic animals... but no.
Instead, they were the Head of the TURKS and a Cetra flower girl, sitting in a squalid helicopter, heading towards her future as a captive.
His rational side had never allowed him to throw his life away for a stupid romantic dream. Probably - most likely - he had never even given it a try.
But that was that – that was the life he'd chosen.
She probably didn't really hate him; he could tell it from the way their shoulders were touching even if there would have been enough room to avoid it. Maybe, in the brightest future he could dare to imagine, she could probably even forgive him, having he really wanted to be forgiven.
Not to mention, probably he could do something, even in that situation, to comfort her - a hand on her shoulder, a word of encouragement, anything – yet he just stayed there, trying his best not to lose track of what he was doing, of what he was.
In the end, all of that didn't count.
Right there, right in that moment, Tseng felt he didn't deserve that possibility.
Author'sNotes: Aeris/Tseng is not something I would usually write, but since all couples look the same to me, here it is. I know people get annoyed with wrong pairings, but I couldn't help it. Oh, and my beta didn't check this, so it will be full of mistakes hehe. I'm not even asking for review because I have the bad feeling none will like this ehehe...I just needed to get a break from 'Subservience' because I was getting angsty about it ... I'll return to that eventually.
Swamp-Eyes
Desclaimer: I don't know whose's the song... surely it's not mine lol. Nicole Kidman sings in in Moulin Rouge XP
05.2020 I edited this story, since recently I'm playing the remake. I still like this 'relationship' even in its platonic way. I've written a new story about them, 'Detour', you can check it out in my profile ^^