"Life is funny. Really, after losing the 'love of my life', I meet an amazing girl. As soon as I'm ready to get serious with her, the 'love of my life' come crawling back to me!" "Well, what? Did she expect for you to act like nothing ever happened?" Asked Dare-Devil. "I dunno anymore, D.D." Spider-Man sighed, peering over the edge of the roof. "Things get fucked up, Spidey. Life isn't all flowers and rainbows." Spider-Man pointed to the bloodstain on his costume. "I think I got the hint." "Ouch! That's gonna hurt in the morning!" "Tell me about it." He sighed.
"Look, Web-Head. If 'ya were just holding out for this 'love of your life' to come around, then here's your chance. But if you really like this other girl, then I think you know what to do." "That's just it. I can't just think. Its not that easy." Dare-Devil patted Spider-Man on the back. "You'll be fine, Webster. Don't even worry." "Yeah, that's me. The Love Doctor."
Spider-Man was glad to have some company that night. After Dare-Devil had left, Johnny Storm found his way over. "Hey Spidey! Dare-Devil told me about your girls. Trouble in paradise?" Spider-Man shook his head. Okay, maybe The Human Torch was company, but he was god damn annoying! "How 'bout a race, Webs?" "What? Just because you fly in a streak of fire, you think you can beat me?" "Hell Yeah." "Alright, if it'll turn you off, Motor-Mouth, then bring it on!"
Spider-Man spun a web and started swinging, neck and neck with Johnny Storm. "Where we racing to?" Spider-Man asked, trying to keep up but showing he was a little slower. "Daily Bugle roof." "Ooh boy, do I know my way around there!" Spider-Man said, and he cut across a rooftop for a shortcut. "An actual matchstick would be faster than you!" He laughed, slyly going into first place. "Fantastic Four my ass!" Spider-Man leaped up near the railroad tracks. He looked at the clock and stood still on the tracks. "Ha ha! I'm gonna beat you Spidey!" Johnny said, flying right in front of him. Then a train whistle came into ear. "I don't think so." Spider-Man laughed. He leaped up into the air extremely high and landed ontop of a speeding train. Johnny Storm couldn't believe his eyes. "You're drooling!" Spider-Man laughed as he took the express train closer to the Daily Bugle.
Johnny Storm knew the train route, though, and took a faster route. This is when Spider-Man jumped off the train. He took the easiest route there, chuckling at himself. When he arrived at the Daily Bugle, though, Johnny Storm was right on his tail. Spider-Man spun two webs onto the roof, and pulled with all his might. He flung himself forward and zipped into a parked helicopter. Johnny Storm laughed so hard he fell from the sky. "Nice landing Doofus!" He crackled. Spider-Man rubbed his head and looked at the dent in the copter. "Shit! We better get outta 'ere, or Jonah will-" But as he spoke, James Jonah Jameson barged onto the roof with his news team.
"What the fuck did you two do to my copter?" He raged. Naturally, both super-heroes pointed at one another. "Spider-Man! I will run you into the ground for this! Do you know what this will cost me?" Spider-Man stood up. "Uh...no." Jameson turned redder. Spider-Man and Johnny Storm screamed "HOLY SHIT RUN!" And leaped off the building. Jameson threw himself into the helicopter. "Dent or not, I'm chasing down those two hooligans! Do we have guns on this thing?"
A speeding helicopter chased after the two superheroes. "God damn it! I'm fucking sorry I ruined your ride!" He screamed back. "He doesn't care, Webs. He'll take any opportunity to nail us into the ground!" "I've been nailed into a god damned helicopter, I don't need to be nailed into anything else, thank you very much!" All of a sudden, more helicopters came into view. These were NYPD helicopters. With GUNS! They started shooting at the two superheroes. "Oh my god!" Johnny screamed. "They're stun guns. They probably want us to pay!" "I'm outta here!" "Right with you, bro!"
The guns attacked them at once, all aiming for their chest. Spider-Man tried to block for Johnny, but got hit instead. He started tumbling to the ground. The Human Torch caught him and stated heading for the Fantastic Four head quarters. He used his free hand to make a firewall, melting the bullets as they came. "Hello! I'm one of the good guys!" He screamed. "Yeah? Why'd you total Mr. Jameson's helicopter?" Said a voice from a speaker. "We had a race! God damn it! Super-heroes can't have fun now? Look, you're gonna have to make me a list of all the things we're not allowed to do!" "And that includes saving the world!" Spider-Man screamed. "Spidey?" "I'm okay. I just can't move my body." "You call that okay?"
Johnny dove headfirst into the Fantastic Four ventilation shaft, throwing up fireballs to the helicopters. As he made his way to the hospital wing, the rest of the Fantastic Four rushed in. "Johnny! What in god's name did you do now?" Johnny laid Spider-Man down on a bed. "'Ello dudes." He greeted. "We crashed into Jameson's helicopter." "WHAT!" "We didn't do it on purpose!" Johnny explained. "At least he didn't!" Spider-Man laughed. "And what happened to you?" The Thing asked. "Stun gun." He and Johnny said simultaneously. "Reeds, do we have an antidote for this sorta thing?" The Thing asked. Reeds shook his head. "No, we just have to wait for it to wear off." "Which will be how long? Incase 'ya didn't notice, people are after me. I can't lie around all day!" Spider-Man said with a tone. "It depends on the gun. Can you describe 'em?" "All I know is they have a huge gun barrel!" "How big?" "Dude! I don't care how big the gun is as long as I don't fucking get shot!"
The Fantastic Four security systems held off the police and the press for over a half-hour when Spider-Man was able to move his fingers. "It's wearing off, alright. Thanks, dudes." "No problem." Sue Storm said. "Say, Invisible Woman, 'ya got any secret escape routes outta 'ere I can take?" She nodded. "Yeah, fifth floor. Go in the elevator and the room is your third left. There's a button on the coffee machine." Spider-Man raced up and darted o the elevator.
With a nod of appreciation to the team, he closed the doors. He waited until he went up to the fifth floor. He stood there, listening to the corny music they were playing. It reminded him of the Mr. and Mrs. Smith movie. As the doors opened, he leaped out and went left. Opening the door, he found a huge room of maps and compasses. "Weirdo's." He murmured, finding the secret button on the coffee machine. A wall containing a map of Queens moved to the side, and Spider-Man waltzed out.
As he headed home, he heard a scream for help. And, being a super-hero, he did the super hero thing to do. He ignored her. He was still shaken up from the stun gun. No way he could fight now. But he heard the scream again. He knew that scream. It was Kimberly!