Little Moments: 100
Themes
#18: Death
Lillie Bell
Disclaimer: I don't have any chance of owning Sailor Moon, I've come to terms with that and so should you. )
Chiba Usagi couldn't remember waking up so quickly in her life. She heaved a deep breath and was instantly transported into the living world from her dreams. A tired hand placed itself upon her forehead, and she stared at the ceiling forlornly for a moment. Blue eyes turned uncertain as her mind recalled the day. Today was the day they would visit his parents. Having been in a relationship with him, she had performed this task at least three or four times before, but this was different. She wasn't his girlfriend anymore; she was his wife.
As she lay in the cold bed she realized she'd never woken up to him on this day. She chanced a glance at him and saw he on his side, back to her. A few more minutes of quiet observation let her know that he was indeed awake. Timidly, she turned to him and pressed a warm hand to his cold, naked back. The muscles beneath her palm tensed in surprise before relaxing slightly. She took this as an invitation and quickly brought her body to his, wrapping around his back and clutching the hand she felt for on the other side.
They hadn't talked since two days ago. A strange trepidation held thick in the air last night, halting all conversation, both knowing what today would bring. She nuzzled the nape of his neck gently, barely kissing his cold skin, as she held him tightly. Her legs curled beneath her until she was molded to him completely. She held him gently but securely as he stared, unseeing, at the wall before him. The hand she held squeezed gently around her fingers in appreciation.
She watched the darkness give in to the growing sun as the shade of their bedroom changed with the oncoming day. Eventually, he moved out of the bed, her hand still clasped tightly within his own. He stood, his back before her, before turning slowly and kissing the knuckles of the hand he refused to release. In any other case, such an action would have initiated a blush from the blonde, but his actions today seemed so forlorn that it only caused her heart to ache more for him.
She never realized how hard today truly was for him. She watched him gently release her hand and stalk to the closet slowly. All his movements were careful and deliberate, like he had to actually fight against himself for every step he took. He dressed awkwardly, aware of her stare, before leaving the bedroom completely.
An uncomfortable air lay around her, and she drowned in it for a few minutes. The waft of freshly brewed coffee hit her nostrils and she finally dragged her self out of bed. Her nightgown hit the floor with a flourish and she sashayed to the door. Sticking her head around the doorframe, she caught sight of two cups on coasters on their dining table. Coming closer she heard the sizzle of breakfast, and decided to leave him to the task. She took her usual seat and noticed the cradle of sugar and creamer he had left near her steaming cup. She blew at the cup, moving her unruly hair from her face by gathering it together and twisting it behind her, before setting about making her sugar-coffee concoction.
By the time her hair succeeded in sneaking out of its momentary confine and her coffee was cool enough to drink, Mamoru set down her plate before taking his seat and starting into his coffee. They both drank silently, waiting for the breakfast to cool to a more edible temperature. She kept the corner of her eye trained on him as she peered straight out the balcony doors to the day ahead of them. He turned slowly to look outside as well, both realizing they had missed the sunrise this morning.
They had made a small tradition of rising to greet the new day together. With coffee in hand, and sometimes the newspaper or even a textbook, the two would stand on the balcony and watch the world start anew with the sunrise. It was refreshing and she loved the feel of his arm around her on those crispy cold mornings when the slim nightgown offered little warmth. In those moments she felt the most peace. The world was right as long as she could wake up every morning with him, and their ritual proclaimed to the world that another day would be spent together.
This day set all their routines on edge, she realized as she heard the familiar scratch of his fork against the plate. For one, neither would be present at their respective schools. The only other time Mamoru had taken time away from school was for their honeymoon, though the man had the gall to bring a cluster of textbooks with him. Well, Usagi had found a very good way to keep his attention those two weeks.
The smirk that under normal circumstances would have risen upon her face just couldn't make it there today. Their honeymoon seemed so long ago now, though they had scarce been married for four months. Her heart ached from the lack of his attention as of late, however it was not angry. In his position, she would fair much worse.
"Your food will get cold," he said softly, barely above a whisper.
Startled from her mindless staring out the balcony windows, she turned blinking eyes to his lowered head. He continued to eat as if nothing had been said and she almost believed she imagined it. She looked down to her breakfast and sighed, picking up the fork and mechanically shoving it into her mouth. He would worry if she poked at her food, though it felt starchy and without flavor mouth, as she felt the need to do. Finally, she decided to simply not chew and cut small enough pieces to swallow it whole. It was hard to discern if the food was bad because of her present mood or his when he'd made it.
He waited for her to finish before gathering up their dishes and pouring a new cup of coffee. She watched him through the partition as he ran the water and began to scrub the dishes clean. With a deep breath that sounded more akin to long suffering sigh, she made her way to the bathroom.
"Here we are, two lilies," the florist said with more enthusiasm than was necessary. Mamoru grabbed the two flowers and handed over his money. Usagi reached and pressed her hand into the small of his back from her position at his elbow. Once the transaction was complete, the two made their way out of the shop and into the bustling streets of Tokyo. The blonde took a moment to open the large umbrella before her husband took hold of it and she grabbed his arm and they headed off for his parents in the pouring rain that cleansed the city.
She held the large umbrella over the gravestones as he methodically cleaned them of debris and the lilies from last year. He left the earth around the tombstone growing with plant life. She realized she had never noticed this habit in her prior visits. He left the plots of land to grow, thus there was a small myriad of wildflowers growing about the area and the grass was tall. He pulled a pair of scissors from his pocket and meticulously trimmed the grass to a height that allowed for reading the tombstone but left the grass at an uncommon height.
He squatted with one knee upon the wet ground, and she squelched the thought of getting out the mud and grass stains from his khakis, as he continued to work. A fierce wind picked up and drove rain into the two of them, her bent over with the large umbrella from behind the tombstones, skirt and raincoat flowing in the wind, and him knelt before the stones, cleaning them with careful hands, his waving hair the only indication that the wind even reached him.
Finally pleased with the states of their graves, he stood and reached out for her hand. Not used to this part of the routine, she accepted as he maneuvered her between the graves to stand next to him. He grabbed the umbrella from her and wrapped an arm around her. She was watching the tombstones and was surprised when he nuzzled her temple, kissing her at the hairline just above her ear. He stayed there for a moment before he softly whispered, "Forgive me."
She turned to him swiftly, staring into the familiar blue eyes that could finally hold her gaze. He lent down and barely pressed his lips upon hers. Though it was a whisper of a kiss, her heart beat erratically at the caress. All the hurt and sadness in her heart disappeared in an instant, swept away by his love as it always was. He curled his hand around her waist and held her tightly to him. Her small hands reached for the lapels of his coat and she pressed her face into his neck as she felt him do the same.
They stood like that for quite some time, simply soaking in their love. Mamoru broke the embrace, kissing her neck at the collar of her raincoat before finishing. His arms fell slowly from around her and she shivered at the sudden loss of warmth. One arm was slow in leaving, though, and he trailed it down her arm until he could clasp their hands together. He smiled gently and kissed her nose before handing her the umbrella and grabbing the lilies from the ground.
She bent and helped him press the white flowers into their holders on the graves. He smiled at her and circled an arm around her waist, assisting her up and taking the umbrella once more. He bowed his head slightly to the gravestones before tightening the hand at her waist. She followed him without question out of the cemetery.
It seemed the traditional talk with his parents had been forgotten as well, though some new understanding had been reached.
Chiba Usagi woke with the chattering of birds poking at the bird feeder that hung outside their bedroom window. She stretched lazily as sleep beckoned her into its warm folds again. For a moment, she felt uncomfortable, as if something strange had occurred and driven her from the lovely dream world she inhabited. The sudden appearance of two strong arms around her form corrected this, however, and she nuzzled the warm chest beneath her cheek. With the world righted once more, the blonde fell into a deep slumber though she knew Mamoru would wake her shortly to brew coffee and watch the sunrise.