NGE: THE LONG, WEIRD WAY TO BE A HERO…
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Evangelion; Anno does...
Chapter 01 "Shin-man is in da house!"
"Damn, what a day!"
It was a hot and sunny summer day in Tokyo-3 It was a beautiful day, yet nobody was apparently in the city. Apart from a really bored looking 14 years old boy who goes by the name of Shinji Ikari. He was sitting on the sidewalk, wearing a pair of black commando style trousers, construction worker like black boots and a plain grey T-shirt. His long hair was tied back into a ponytail, and a dark blue baseball cap topped his head, with the Nike logo on its front and the 'Just do it' logo emblazoned on its side.
"Damn it, this really isn't my day. First I get hungry and the phones turned out to be dead, then my Discman's batteries went dead. I most have been doped when I came to this dead city, I wonder what else could go wrong?" he thought as he yawned
And as if on cue, a missile came out of nowhere, followed by the sound of explosions, disturbing the calm of the scene.
"What th..." he exclaimed as he stood, but was cut off by a sight that he thought existed only in the old 60's movies or in animes. There it was, a huge dark green humanoid monster, with bone looking plates on its shoulders and a red orb in its chest, protected with what appeared to be its ribs.
"I had to ask, I just had to ask..." Shinji whispered as he mentally thanked god that he didn't have anything to eat that morning; otherwise he would need a change of underwear.
A lot of aircraft were surrounding it, in a vain attempt to stop it, but the monster just disposed of them like bugs. One of them started firing its machine guns at the thing's face, but this only appeared to piss it off, because it simply raised a hand to the offending object and impaled it with a light spear that came of its arm.
Shinji could only watch in shock as the aircraft was crushed right in front of him
"Damnit Damnit Damnit Damnit! I need to get the hell out of here!!" he thought as he desperately looked around for an escape route. Then in the distance, he spotted a blue car that was dashing in his direction.
"Hey! Hey! Over here!"
"that must be him..." the driver thought as she saw a boy frantically waving his arms, "of course he is, who else would be crazy enough to be here at this time!"
The car stopped abruptly in from of him, and then the door opened, revealing a purple haired woman in a black dress. Shinji couldn't help but look her up and down, staring at the curves of her body, "Are you Shinji Ikari?" she asked.
"Y-Yeah"
"Hop in, there's no time!" He did so and soon they raced from the area, right before the monster landed on top of the aforementioned aircraft.
Eventually they got a good distance from the city, and watched the battle from the windows of the car
"Excuse me, miss...?" Shinji asked the woman while she was looking at the monster with a pair of binoculars.
"Oh! Yeah, I'm Captain Misato Katsuragi, but you can call me Misato"
"Right, miss Misato, sorry for asking but...What the hell is that thing!"
"Well...that's an Angel" She said, with doubt in her voice.
"...What?"
"That's their code name; I don't really know why they're called that but..."
"But what? What's going on?" Shinji asked at her sudden silence.
"Oh shit, they're going to use a N2 mine. Get down!" Before he could say anything Misato pinned him to the floor of the car, as the shockwave of the explosion sent it flying away.
When the car finally stopped, they literally climbed out of the side of the vehicle.
"Damn, those were some cool fireworks!" said Shinji in a somewhat too cheerful tone. On the other hand, Misato wasn't in the same humour as her young charge, first of all her favourite dress was ruined, second her car was a wreck, and above all, she was really behind schedule. If she didn't hurry, a certain cranky doctor was going to be very mad at her, to say the least, so she decided to just ignore him.
"Hey, are we going to stay here all day or what?" Shinji finally asked the spaced out woman
"Ah, what? Oh yes, we'll leave in a minute, just give me a hand with the car, and we'll be on the road again!"
"...Ok"
"Good! Now come over here and we'll push at the count of three. Ready?"
"Yeah"
"Ok, one...two..."
"Three!" They both shouted while they pushed the stopped car back on its four wheels
"Good job, Shinji, it seems that you're useful for something!"
"..Err...I'll take that as a compliment" said the slightly annoyed boy
Finally, they were on the road again, Misato was dashing across the deserted streets avoiding collapsed posts, garbage cans, and other stuff that were displaced by the explosion's shockwave.
"...err...Miss Misato, d-don't you think you should go a bit slower? I-I know the road is empty, but still..." Asked Shinji while mentally praying that the seatbelts were still working.
"Don't worry, I'm a trained officer and I have to make sure to deliver you safe!" answered the cheerful captain.
"Yeah...right...Hey! Have you ever consider joining a demolition derby racing club heh heh! I'm sure you could win some tournaments."
"Is that so...i'll show him" the purple haired woman thought angrily as she started to perform some weird looking manoeuvres with the car.
"No, wait. I was just kidding! Stop it! Oh God, we're gonna die!!!" the poor boy's screams could be heard echoing through the tunnel that lead to their destination.
Eventually, they made it to the end of the tunnel, stopping in front of an armoured door with the NERV logo printed on it. Misato reached across to a card reader and swiped her ID through it, making the door open and allowing them access to the car elevator.
"Damn, this thing is endless! Hey, Miss Misato, how long will this take?" Shinji asked after a little while.
"Hey, just call me Misato; the whole "miss" thing makes me feel old. And don't worry we are almost there. By the way, you should start reading this" she said while reaching for some kind of booklet before handing it to her passenger.
"NERV, huh" he said out loud while flipping through the pamphlet "So, this is were the 'old fart' has been hiding?"
"It seems that you don't get along with your dad, right?"
"You can say that again. Besides, you can't expect a warm-hearted relationship with someone you haven't seen in, shall we say, your whole life, right?" He said with a light chuckle
"Yeah, I can relate to that...oh, look! We're there now!"
Shinji looked through the window, and, for the second time that day, was left speechless.
It was a huge cavernous space, yet it looked like it was taken from a Sci-Fi movie. Artificial light illuminated the whole place, there was some kind of forest down below and there were also buildings hanging from the ceiling. And at the centre of the cavern was a pyramid with the NERV logo painted on its side.
"That's the Geo-Front" Said Misato to the amazed boy "The last stronghold of mankind against the angels...and our last hope of survival"
Shinji's brain was on overload with information right now, and could only mutter "...wow..."
A few moments later, they were walking through the halls of NERV HQ. Unfortunately, they didn't seem to be getting anywhere.
"I think we're lost"
"SHUT UP!"
The same conversation had been going on since they entered the base, and each time she became more and more annoyed, right now she was just about to explode.
Shinji noticed this a long time ago and was, to say the least, enjoying it greatly.
"I think we're lost" the mischievous boy said once again.
And that was the last straw...
The angered woman spun around and grabbed Shinji by the collar of his shirt, their faces were inches apart, and she had a 'ready to kill' look in her eyes
"Look kid" Misato said as she began to shake him "If you say that one more time, just one more time I..."
"You're going to do what Captain Katsuragi?"
Misato looked back over her shoulder and quickly released the gasping and slightly dizzy boy. Behind her was a blonde woman around her age, she was wearing a lab coat and seemed very angry "I can't believe you Misato, you know we're short in time and man power, and you're giving this kid a tour through the base?"
"Sorry Ritsu, you know I'm not very used to this place yet" replied the ashamed officer.
"Ah ha! I knew we were lost!" Yelled Shinji after recovering his sense of balance.
Misato was about ready to kill again, the other woman noticed this and quickly interfered before something happened.
"Hello, I'm Dr. Ritsuko Akagi, you most be Shinji Ikari, am I right?"
"Yes I am!" replied the way to happy kid "it's nice to meet you Dr. Rits!"
"So cheerful, how unlike him" Thought the doctor at the young man's attitude
"We're late so please follow me"
"Sure, you seem to know this place better than my former guide!" Said 'guide' was now really furious
"I can't believe it; my best friend and this...kid...are laughing at me!" the fuming captain said to herself "Oh well; if you can't beat them..." And with that, she started lo laugh as well.
Eventually, the group ended up in front of a large door. Dr. Akagi entered a code into a keypad by the door, causing it to open. She then led the group into the dark room beyond.
"Hey, what's going on here!?" Shinji asked, he had a really bad feeling that something was going to happen. He was about to ask again when suddenly all the lights came on. After he adjusted his eyes to the change, the poor kid was, for the third time, surprised. He was in a huge cage-like place; it was flooded with a reddish liquid and there was a huge robot head protruding from the pool with a sharp horn on its forehead. Then he stared into its eyes, he could have sworn that the thing looked back at him, directly into his soul, he could feel a burning sensation deep within himself, as if the monster was calling him.
"Hey, Shinji, you in there?" Said Misato waving her hand in front of the spaced out boy.
"What? When? Wh..." he trailed of before staring again at the titan before him, this time keeping his concentration. He reached for his backpack and grabbed the booklet that Misato gave him earlier, as he started looking through it Ritsuko spoke.
"You won't find it in there" she said "That is the ultimate war machine in the battle against the angels" She explained getting excited by each phrase. "This, is the artificial life form known as Evangelion, Unit 01!" she said in a very dramatic way, "Built here in secret, this is mankind's last hope"
"Amazing" said Shinji after the Doctor's speech, "Too bad 'bout the colour scheme, is this the commander work?"
"That is correct!" A voice boomed through the room. Everybody turned to see Commander Gendo Ikari watching ominously from a platform above the head of Unit 01. Everybody, minus one.
"Ha! I knew it, the Old Fart never had a sense of style!" Said Shinji, completely ignoring the fact that his father's eyes were staring directly at him with a dangerous looking frown on his face. Everybody in the room was getting very nervous right now, they had seen people 'disappear' just by sneezing near the commander, and now this kid comes out of nowhere and start rambling a lot of embarrassing facts about their boss and his fashion sense. On the other hand Ritsuko was greatly amused with this display; she never thought that somebody could have the guts to speak about the commander like this, but she knew he couldn't dispose of Shinji, he was too important to the scenario. Said commander was now really pissed, so he decided to make his presence know again
"Do you know why I have called you here" asked Gendo in a somber tone.
"To go to a father and son fishing trip?"
"...No" Gendo said, getting annoyed.
"To ask me forgiveness for being an irresponsible parent?"
"No" Gendo said, getting mad.
"To give me money?"
"No!" Gendo said, getting furious.
"Then I don't know."
"I have called you because I have a use for you, now, do it, or leave!"
"Such a great dad, calls me out of the blue to do some kind of job and doesn't even bother to tell me what it is, isn't it wonderful?" Shinji said not hiding his sarcasm.
"Target approaching, all units to battle stations! Target approaching, all units to battle stations!"
The speakers roared, alarming everyone. At that moment an explosion shook the base violently, causing the people to panic.
"It is near, it must sense us" muttered Gendo to himself. "Quick, get the Evangelion ready to launch!" He yelled in an attempt to calm down the people.
"What!" Yelled Misato at the order "But Unit 00 is still in cryostasis! Don't tell me..." she gasped as she realised the facts "You are going to use Unit-01, But Rei is injured! We have no pilot!"
"We just received one" Dr. Akagi calmly responded
"What! You are planning to use him!" The doctor simply nodded.
"B-But he just got here!"
"I..." Shinji said.
"There's no one else who can" Ritsuko said back, interrupting him.
"List..." Shinji tried again.
"It took Rei months to be able to synchronize with her Eva! There's no way he can do it!" Misato protested.
"I'll d..."
"Look, we just need him to sit in the plug, nothing else, besides, there is no time left. Do you understand that, Captain Katsuragi?" Replied the doctor, finally losing her patience.
"Yeah but..." The captain tried to argue.
"Will you two just shut up and listen to me for a second!" Shinji roared.
Both women turned, shocked at the boy's sudden outburst
"I said I'm gonna do it! Damnit" He finally said, calming himself "I mean, I have a chance to save the world, to be part of something important" he said getting excited. "And...I get to pilot a giant robot!"
Everybody stared oddly at the kid's statement, wondering how he could treat the situation so lightly.
Ritsuko was about to bark out some orders to get the Eva ready when another explosion rocked the place. It was stronger than the last one, strong enough to bring down part of the ceiling, conveniently above Shinji.
"Oh fuck!"
Shinji was paralyzed, the world seemed to go in slow motion as the tubes and lamps were falling down towards him, the only thing he could do was cover himself with his arms and pray that the end came to him painlessly. When nothing happened he slowly opened his eyes and looked up, a huge purple hand was shielding him from the bricks. He stared at the purple titan, and once again he felt caught in its eyes, he could feel the burning sensation in his soul, it was more intense this time, it was calling him, and he was willing to respond.
"W-What the hell happened!?" Asked Misato still lying on the ground because of the explosion, then she looked at the scene in front of her. Shinji was once again spaced out and the massive hand of Unit 01 was above him. "D-Did Unit 01 just activated itself!?"
"It can't be!" Shouted the incredulous doctor. "The entry plug wasn't even inserted! There wasn't any power connected to it! It's just not possible!"
"It was him" Misato whispered. "It must be because of him" Then she remembered what was going on and ran to the staring boy. "Shinji! Shinji! Are you Ok!?" she asked, shaking him to get him out of his trance.
"Ah, what? Y-yeah, I'm fine" He replied "There's no time, get me inside that thing, we have no time to lose!"
"O-Ok, follow me" Misato responds, a bit surprised at the seriousness of his voice
"By the way, you can't take your hat in there" she said in a business tone.
He then proceeded to remove it, and handed it to the captain "Please watch it for me, it's my lucky charm"
"Sure, no problem" Said Misato as she watched Shinji walk with some techs towards the entry plug. "Please don't die on us kid" And with that she headed to the command bridge.
"Maya, Status report!" yelled the captain now in full business mode
"Removing primary and secondary restraints, inserting entry plug" The short, brown haired woman replied.
The neck of the Eva opened up allowing the plug to be inserted.
"Wow, this is awesome" Shinji said gripping the controls in excitement.
"Filling entry plug" the young technician's voice could be heard through the plug's inter comm.
"Fill it? What?" Shinji was getting worried, with what could they fill a thing like this? He looked down and his eyes widened in fear when an orange, stinking liquid quickly occupied the space. When the liquid finally reached his head, he could only hold his breath.
"Don't worry Shinji, once your lungs are filled with LCL your blood will be oxygenated directly, you'll get used to this" The voice of Dr. Akagi said.
"Now you tell me" was his weak answer.
"Oh, stop complaining and act like a man!" Misato ordered annoyed by the boy's attitude.
"Hmph I'd like to see you in my shoes, beside, this thing stinks like a rotten cow! From what kind of corpse did you get this thing from!?"
Both the doctor and the commander seemed to cringe at the statement, but nobody noticed. The blond woman just shrugged and continued with the procedure.
"Start synchronization sequence!" In the entry plug the walls began to change to a rainbow of colours until the view of the outside could be seen.
"Awesome, It's like a VR video game!" Shinji said excitedly.
"Maya give me the pilot's status" Ritsuko ordered.
"All systems are nominal, psychological readings are stable, synch ratio at 41.3%"
"Amazing!" said the doctor watching over the shoulder of her young pupil
"All circuits seem normal, we're ready to launch"
"Good, everything is ready!" Ritsuko said turning to Misato.
The captain looked over to the commander who had his elbows resting on his desk and his hands folded in front of his face.
"Commander, are you sure about him, about all this?"
"Of course" he said in a cold voice "There is no one else who can."
With that Misato turned again to the screen and saw Shinji with an excited grin on his face and his hands practically tickling the controls.
"Moving Eva to launching catapult #3, launch path clear, we're ready to go"
Said Maya, interrupting the captain's thoughts
"Okay, here goes nothing," Misato sighed mentally" "EVA Launch!"
And with that the huge platform shut up through the tunnel leaving sparks along its trail.
"Woohoo, this is better than a roller coaster! Yeah!" When he finally stopped he could only say "Damn, it surely stops like one..."
In the command bridge everybody looked dumbfounded at the dizzy, whirly-eyed kid; Misato raised her hand to her forehead and could only mutter in frustration
"We're so dead..."
To be continued...
Any comment or opinion just let me know. Until next time!