Disclaimer: See previous chapters.

A/N: I want my cyber cookies (i.e. proof that I am easily influenced by reviews, if not timely in my response).

The Hidden Diary of Drusilla

Day One

Out for a jaunty walk with all the many members of my family tonight. So lucky to have so many living relatives. Too bad I sense their imminent doom. Psychic powers so tedious.

Day Five

Met attractive Irish fellow. Seems to like me. Slowly tortured all my sisters to death but left me alive. Decided am not interested.

Day Ten

Irishman killed my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, 3rd-cousins-twice-removed, and all other people I ever happened to meet in my entire life. Beginning to feel targeted. Probably just being paranoid.

Day Twelve

Joined convent, succumbed to insanity and got murdered. All in all a busy day.

Day Thirteen

Would've killed loved ones today but no one left to kill. Sad. Then saw pretty fish in sky. Made me happy. So happy.

Day Fourteen

Now see lots of things I didn't before, like dancing hippos on fire and purple baby dragons. Suspect is because am much more observant now.

Day Fifteen

So happy my family was brutally murdered. Wasn't before. Turning into psycho vampire has improved my perspective on life. Decided to become motivational speaker.

Day Sixteen

Gave seminar on the upsides of massacre. Very successful. Survivors agreed.

Day Twenty

Gave Angelus poet I found in alley as thanks for all he's done for me. Angie immediately set to giving him makeover. Are now competing to see who can kill more of poet's friends. Boys.

Day Twenty-Six

Published self-help book, "How to Enjoy the Sudden Deaths of Everyone You Love". Has 100 tips for killing them yourself.

Day Thirty

Angie got soul and left to join blues band. Darla not supportive. Spike and I struck out on our own singing karaoke. Fun, especially with back-up dancers.

Day 1,019

Mob in Prague did not like singing. Turned angry. I lost fighting ability, have had to adapt by becoming extra creepy. Like an old doll grandmother left you tied up in the attic.

Day 1,200

Went to Sunnydale with Spike. He wants to kill slayer and live on Hellmouth. I want to discover why baby dinosaurs in sky sometimes explode. Maybe we'll both be happy.

Day 1,204

Ran into Angie today. He's so glum now, clearly has forgotten Tip 85: If you run out of friends, likable strangers will do.

Day 1,206

Spike sent assassin-o-grams to slayer, kidnapped Angie. Says has big plans to tie him to post. Guess you never get over first love.

Day 1,207

Building fell down on me and I regained all strength. Spike ended up in wheelchair, Angie ditched. Jerk.

Day 1,210

For birthday got great build-your-own-monster kit! When finished plan to destroy Earth.

Day 1,211

Angie came back for Spike after all. Helped me finish monster and wipe out people in mall. Then slayer showed up with rocket launcher. All in all fun day.

Day 1,213

Fell in love with Xander today. Do not know who he is, but love is strong. Will sustain until…never mind.

Day 1,214

Angel drew pictures for slayer and all her friends. Then started killing them. So good to see him get back to old hobbies.

Day 1,218

Angel brought home giant rock. Says will destroy world with it. Decided to humor him as rock very big. Could work.

Day 1,219

Spike kidnapped me before I got to see apocalypse. Annoying. Made me pass out by choking me. Still trying to figure out why that worked.