Disclaimer: I do not own Inu-Yasha. (We shall rebel, fellow Inu-Yasha fans! We shall storm the company building, snatch them away-) Okay, enough.
Chapter Three: She Loves, She Hates- With Passion
It was around eight P.M. when we stood to leave, the room clean and the table cleared. "Can we see where you live, Kagome-Chan?" Sango inquired. I couldn't help but stiffen at first, but finally mumbled "I guess" as we all shuffled out the door. This time they would all be following me- and dreading my home more than anything I led them out of the wooded area, downtown- to what is referred as Japan's "Beverly Hills" area- where I hesitate to say I grew up in. And it's stupid, really. Everybody's got to know what you're doing, when your family's going to throw another bash, what's going on between your family members. Ugh, it's totally nauseating. But Whatever- I try to be polite, nod occasionally and go uh-huh, sure I care about what theme your party's going to be tonight.
But when we get up to the gates of what's obviously the "castle" of this small kingdom- I know they're all shocked. But soon, they would find out why it was so horrible for me. When we were finally at the front door, the doorbell rung and footsteps ahead, I said quickly, "You guys don't have to do this. You're going to see exactly why I love the restaurant more than my own home." But they shook their heads. "It's okay Kagome-Chan. We don't care what it's like here, we only want to see what it's like in a house like this." Sango put a hand on my shoulder, and Inu-Yasha slipped his hand into mine. "Alright then, brace yourselves for one of the biggest family feuds in history of the Higurashi family. And some of the biggest assholes you'll ever meet." The door opened, and my stomach did a double flip.
"Sister," he said coldly. "Brother," I was just as cold and hateful, no matter how badly I cried inside. Why? Why did it always have to be this way between us now? And he just stood there like the black hearted asshole he was, glaring at my friends and me. "Aren't you going to move out of my way?" I challenged. And he didn't move a muscle. Okay, if that's the way you want to play, so be it. "And what if I don't? Mother's going to kill you, oh now you've really done it. Oh, and sister's just come to see me about your behavior towards her- and about you stealing her boyfriend away. But that doesn't surprise me, you're a whore through and through"- Giving it all I had, I landed a fist in his stomach. And though he recovered almost immediately, he didn't have a chance to suspect when I threw myself at him, pounding my fists on his head and kicking every where. I had felt a distinct feeling of Inu-Yasha's wanting to help, but I shouted, "No! Leave us be, I'm just as strong as he is- so don't interfere!"
As I knocked out my Brother, Souta, I took his feet and dragged him to the cleaning supply closet as usual. Once it was locked I turned to them with a look of exasperation and triumph, and when they were inside and the door was closed, I was about to give them a tour when a loud angry scream announced my next battle. Oh man, I hate my family. Groaning, I turned to the gigantic stairway where my mother was making her way down, holding a bunch of papers and her face almost purple in her fury. "You guys sure you want a tour today? You can go home and avoid this fight." But they shook their heads. "We are one-hundred percent behind you. You could use support anyway, with a family like this," said Sesshomaru (A/N: Awwww!). Behind my raging mother was a dazed old father, with a worn look directed at me, 'why'd you have to do this?' I could hear him ask silently and calm, as was his style to be. Well, I could handle my mother as well as Souta.
As soon as she was within ten feet of me, all I had to say was "Mother! Your beautiful face is getting blotchy!" and she stopped instantly, hands dropping what seemed to be the usual party papers and to her face, that proved I was right. "Oh dear. Why must you always make me so upset and miserable? Why is it you must cause all the trouble?" she was only wailing by now. "I've tried to be a mother to you, but you only show selfishness and contempt!" Weeping. I rolled my eyes- anyone could see it was she who was self-centered. But as my gaze turned to my friends- they were feeling sorry for her! Oh my god- what do I do? What, what? Oh man, now I was pissed at her. "Tried to be a mother to me! You almost always hang up when I call, you make excuses! All you care about is yourself. And going through my computer, I've been meaning to talk about that! What the hell is that about?"
But she cut off my stream of complaints. "Never mind that dear, I'm tired of your tirades. Speak to your father about your birthday ball, I don't have the strength." And with that she fainted, and three of her maids carried her to the elevator and up to her suite. But my father only lingered for a second. "Your dress is on the bed, Sayoko will fill you in on the rest. I've got another business trip, but I'll be in time for the ball. See you then darling." With a peck on my forehead he was gone. I looked to the group, who now looked dazed and confused. "Let's go up to my room, then if you want. It's a little late for a tour, even of some of the house. Let's go?" They followed me up the stairs two floors, and I stopped them at the end of the hall before double white and gold doors. "This is it." I turned and threw open the doors, and up the three white carpeted steps, we entered what seems to be a whole other world.
Twenty-one large steps lead down to the floor, the railing and steps lined in gold. Directly across from the staircase is my white silk bed, (enormous in size and elevated) with some white silk pillows at the headboard (which is also gold). On my walls though, are the Egyptian paintings and hieroglyphics, Isis and Nefertiti and Cat Gods. All the women pharaohs in gold and white silk, rubies emeralds and gold at their throats, arms and ankles. These were the ones I had admired since childhood, those who had taken control when everyone thought they were weak, terrible. Cleopatra was new on my wall; I'd just done a report on her at school and decided she was worthy enough for my walls. There were some plants here and there, White rose-filled vases on the desk and tables.
To the right section of my room is the large mahogany desk layered with my CD players, Stereo, laptop (of my father's own company, of course) Scanner, printer, PS2 and X-Box, Gameboy Pocket and Advanced, Some books I was currently reading and computer programs and disks I'd carelessly thrown on it. It wasn't a mess, but there was hardly any room. And on the right side of the desk was my little "vanity table" where I always glance for a minute and do my hair, jewelry, etc. It is covered with the thousands of little jewels and jewelry boxes I've been given since forever, the most expensive makeup I suspect my new girl friends have ever seen- and other junk mother has given me.
To the left section of my room is a small library of my own. Before middle school, I had been a really big bookworm, and a computer nerd, and Father had been very proud of me. So there were all the books I'd spent hours zipping through (for I can read very fast) and the guides that taught me better than an hired instructor to design web sites and go through video games and hack through systems. There is a matching mahogany desk with my plasmic-screened television and DVD player, cable box and space to write my homework, and the drawers are filled to the brim with art supplies. Art, something I had to deny myself all of a sudden so I could fit in society. For if I dug out those wonderful supplies and started using them, I'd never come out of my room again- for painting, sketching and colors had been and would be my life.
Of course my friends are awed and surprised, but they mostly want to talk to me. "What the hell is up with your fucked-up family?" Inu-Yasha once again couldn't let go of me. While others explored my room, Inu-Yasha, Miroku and Sango sit with me on the bed, Inu-Yasha pulling me into his lap, Miroku and Sango sitting as close as possible together without looking suspicious. To sum it up without going into detail, "That Brother you saw and my sister hate me, my mother's a self-centered "oh pity me!" control-freak, and my father's too weak to go against them. Basically, we don't love each other like a family should. There's only one brother I do love, Kioji- my oldest brother. But he won't be here till the 'ball'; he's at Tokyo University. I'm so proud he got in without father's money. He studied so hard; he's going to be a doctor you know." Suddenly, I notice the dress on my bed, and crawl out of Inu-Yasha's lap, grab it and back into his lap. It's in a black hanger bag, and from the looks of it, it's only the best anybody can afford.
Now everybody's crowding around my bed, wanting to see it. "Maybe it would be best if I put it on for you to see?" I suggest. But Rin stops me from getting up. "No way! I want to be surprised when I see you at the ball! Put it away!" Everyone looks at Rin. "You're invited to the ball?" I ask. "Of course, I was already going to invite you personally, but are you on my mother's list?" She nods. "My father's- a business partner of your father's, he manages some of the Internet services for your father's company. That's how I already knew about you." Sesshomaru raises an eyebrow- "How come we didn't know this?" and Rin blushes. "Um, you guys always thought the rich people were snobs- so I… didn't mention it." Miroku crosses his arms. "So that's how you always got so much money to pitch in for stuff. Okay, but we invade your house next." We all laugh.
"Okay, I'll lock it away until the ball. But can you all come? I'm turning eighteen, but I won't be moving out for awhile. I don't even know what I want to do for a career." But the lie is clear as day on my face, and I know it. Keade sits on the bed and looks me in the eyes. "Are you sure about that?" "Okay, no. But if I get back into it, you can be sure I'll never go out again. I'll suffocate in my own room, breathing in the fumes!" Now they all raise their eyebrows. "Okay, you better not laugh." I get up and walk to the door under the stairs, and look back at them. "Here goes." I open the door, and we walk into a smaller room- with hundreds of paintings, drawings, and photos. Sango can't help but gasp- "Are these- did you do these?" I nod, smiling a little.
Most of them are of fairies. Fairies of seasons, planets, elements and some I painted normal people on the street- with transparent wings and red or violet eyes. The drawings came of people I used to draw everyday- and some were of my new friends themselves. There was Miroku pushing Sango on a swing, Sesshomaru and Miroku in chess battle- Rin and Sesshomaru kissing, Shippo beating up Jaken, Inu-Yasha and Koga jamming on guitars. Keade and Kilala sitting and reading, Ayame slapping Miroku, and then individuals- including the hateful look on Inu-Yasha's face, Keade and Kilala's solemn expressions, Sango grinning and giggling like crazy, Koga blushing, Ayame ranting and raving- and there were some of her family. My mother's drawl, my father's tired expression, my brother's hateful glare, and- "Hey! Why'd you draw Kikyo?" Asks Shippo. "She's what'd I'd look like if I were a whore," I shrug it off. What if they found out- "This must be the good brother? Say, he's quiet good-looking…" and everybody notices Kilala's dreamy state. Kilala attracted to my brother? Whoa… "Yeah, he'll be at the ball, you know…" I say teasingly. Kilala nods and just keeps on staring.
"Hey, what are these?" Ayame asks pulling out a stack of- "Whoa, whoa! Those are my brother's, please don't"- too late. "Your brother's an artist too? He's brilliant! What are"- "They are people he knows that pay him to paint them in dramatic scenes. Some are me"- "Wow! And some are real! He painted that version of the Samyoto Murder! Wow, dramatic- sure. But damn, it's gory too! This is awesome, they a lot like yours too"- Ayame stops. Now everybody's crowded around the painting stack, with shocked expressions- Ayame can't look at the next painting, and now I see why.
The reason I hadn't wanted anyone to see them- the one painting I vowed to lock away, the one he said would help me escape my pain- they saw it now. In the painting I slump, using my scarred arms to hold me up- in a torn transparent and bloody slip- I'm sitting with a balcony in the background, clutching my stomach, the wind whipping my hair away from my scratched up face, tear streaked cheekbones and my eyes overflowing with tears. Inu-Yasha stepped back, eyes on me now. Then Ayame turned to the next.
This one was more haunting than shocking. It was somewhat dark, and I stood in a dark hallway that went on forever and my brother Souta lie dead and bloody at my feet. In all black my slim figure stood over him, my bloody hands holding a scythe. My hair pulled back, eyes a haunting empty expression as a bloody message announced on the wall behind me: "Heaven's A Lie." And next to me, was me- transparent-white, in a white gown, not one flaw in my skin- and reaching out my arms to the other me in a pleading manner, her eyes loving but sad. Next to the murderess me, her eyes said, "Stop it, please! This isn't you, you don't want this!" But I didn't hear me.
"This is, so… sad." Rin has courage to finally speak. "My brother- can be very moody- but whenever he paints one of these, he is so happy for days and days, like he gets all the bad emotion out this way. Then I lock them away, so we don't have to face it." "Then it's real for you too?" Inu-Yasha reaches for me, kissing my neck. "In a way. Somewhere deep inside, many people feel like that. But it's even worse if you don't express it." Changing the subject, I suggest it's time to go. "It's ten o' clock, I am so worn out. But I still have to go online and say hi to peoples, so they don't blow up at me." Inu-Yasha groans, and holds me tighter, making me laugh. "Come on, Inu-Yasha. You'll see me tomorrow- or wait, maybe you should stay"- he keeps kissing my neck, licking my ear until Sesshomaru yanks him off and drags him up the staircase. "Hey-ey, Sess, let me go!" "You can make-out tomorrow, brother. But she's right, and we're all tired. We can see ourselves out, we'll see you tomorrow, Kagome!" They all hug me and out the door they go. Then, flipping on my computer, I fall into the chair and let sleep take me away, too exhausted to face anybody online, try as I might to stay awake.