Disclaimer: I own nothing and that's why I'M BROKE! I'm not okay is by MCR, in case you didn't know.
Ugh! I'm really sorry I haven't updated in a while! I had a little writer's block and school has been really busy lately. But, there are only 3 ½ more days of school and then I can update all the time! Also, 3 days till Episode III! I can't wait! Hayden Christensen is so hot! (squeals delightedly) Okay, well, here's the chapter!
'Ah! Shut up!'
A week later found Christine on a very old bus heading for a band festival. She turned her portable CD player up even more to block out the deafening sound of 30+ spastic band kids. She really worried about her hearing.
Christine looked to the seat next to her and sighed. Sitting there, or supposed to be sitting there, was one of her band friends. Apparently, she had decided that sitting with Christine just wasn't cool enough and went to sit with other people. But Christine was used to being alone and just used the seat as leg space.
She looked up to the bus TV and saw that Shrek was playing. Although it is a funny movie, it gets a little old after the 7th time.
Just as she was closing her eyes for a much needed nap, she felt that the bus was slowing down and looked up again to see one of the bus chaperones with the worst hair she had ever seen, stand up and grab a microphone.
The chaperone's words were drowned out to Christine by her music, so she rolled her eyes and took one of the headphones off.
"Okay guys," the chaperone said in an extremely southern accent, "We need to be back on the bus no later than 6 o'clock."
"Okay!" the peppy band kids, minus Christine, chorused together.
The bus, which was in fact older than Christine, parked in the parking lot causing all the band kids to stand up and rush to the door, eager to chat merrily with friends on the other buses. Christine was the last to get off, giving her the pleasure of getting a whiff of cigarette smoke from the bus driver.
'God, you just can't wait to kill yourself, can you?' she thought as she watched the cowboy hat clad bus driver.
She turned to watch all 200+ band members run frantically towards the mall and scanned the crowd, hoping to find someone she could talk to. She spotted another friend talking to a group of people and started to walk over to her, but stopped in her tracks when she noticed that one of those people was Raoul.
The hardest part about the breakup was her reluctance towards being around the friends she once shared with Raoul. They just didn't seem to understand that she really didn't want to hear about what Raoul did with Carlotta or a funny joke he had told. So in the end, she decided that it wasn't worth it and pretty much stopped talking to most of them.
She gave a sigh of aggravation and turned up the volume of her CD player even more.
Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, its better off this way.
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out
'If only Meg and Erik were here.'
The prospect of going to a band festival first excited Christine, but then when she discovered that they were not going to be performing the piece in which Erik played, her excitement quickly turned to dread. Meg had never been in band so that left her alone with no one on her side.
She walked with her head down glancing up occasionally to see if any one she could trust was around her. She was alone, as usual.
What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
(I'm not okay)
I told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means
(I'm not okay)
To be a joke and look, another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out
But what if Erik had been here? How could she know for sure that he could be trusted? What made him different from Raoul?
All of these questions ran through her mind as she found a place on a bench. She shook her head as the previous occupants of the bench looked at her warily with mistrust in their eyes. They obviously thought that Christine was mad delinquent because of her blasting CD player and sullen disposition.
Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took
You said you read me like a book, but the pages are all torn and frayed
She left the bench, angered by the stares she was getting from the mall patrons and started to run.
I'm okay
I'm okay!
I'm okay, now
(I'm okay, now)
But you really need to listen to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I mean this, I'm okay!
(Trust Me)
Tears came to her eyes as she rushed passed the happy people walking by.
'They will never feel alone,' she thought to herself, 'they will always be loved.'
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not o-fucking-kay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
(Okay)
Christine ran into a deserted bathroom and rushed to a sink, looking into the slightly dirty mirror at her tear streaked reflection.
'I can't keep living like this…' she thought to herself, 'I don't want to kill myself…'
She backed up to the wall and slumped down to the ground, and put her head in her hands. Her stomach grumbled with hunger given the fact that she hadn't eaten all day.
Christine's thoughts drifted to Erik again, and she smiled as she remembered that day at the park.
'Meg's right…I shouldn't stop living because of Raoul…even if Erik ends up hurting me, I should give it a shot.'
Christine picked herself off the ground and looked into the mirror once more. She smiled at her reflection and rinsed her face.
She exited the bathroom, spirit slightly improved, and headed off to get something to eat with her head held high.
Okay! I hope this was a good chapter! I wrote this just now with a slight headache, so if it sucks, please, no flames! Find the nearest Fop and take your anger out on them! I will try to update sooner next time. I have a band concert tomorrow and you know I'll probably write the next chapter during it! Love and Peace! Kupo!