Addicted
Chapter 4: It's Like I Can't breath.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: If I said I owned them, I lied. (And, FYI, the song lyrics, or the words in italics, are from Kelly Clarkson's Addicted.)
It's like I can't breathe
Mal and Nivia walked down the corridor. Inara turned the corner as the two reached his room. She gave Mal a Icy look, then turned and walked away. Nivia looked at him in slight confusion. "There somethin you wanna tell me?" She cocked an eyebrow.
"What? No." Mal said, looking all innocent. The pair stepped into the large room. "I remember this room." She said.
"I recall this being our favorite room." Mal said with a smirk. Nivia didn't say anything. She just barely smiled. "What's wrong?" He asked, sounding slightly concerned.
"You picked a hell of a time to be all concerned." She hughed.
"What the hell are you talkin about." Nivia spun around.
"I didn't hear from you for five years. I was worried outta my mind! I had no idea what had happened to you."
"You said you needed time. I asked no questions. I gave you time. That's what you said you wanted." He said, confused.
"And I appreciate that. I just would have liked to have known if you were, ya know, alive."
"I'm sorry. I made a mistake in not contacting you. And I assume you're mad that I didn't tell you we were coming."
"Only a little. I mean, it would've given me time to kill my boyfriend so that you didn't know I had one. Or at least hide him." She said with a smirk.
"I was considering doing that to Inara. The hiding part, I mean." Now it was Nivia who looked at him with an icy stare. "I was kidding, Malcolm." She said. "Where you?" He was silent.
"So, are you and Inara... together now?"
"...Sort of." He confused. She slowly nodded.
"Well, I sorta knew when I made you leave without me, that it was likely you'd find someone else."
"I didn't find someone else." He said. She gave him a look of sarcastic disbelief. "At first." He finished, acting like he'd meant to say that all along.
"I never got over you, ya know. I assumed when you married me that you would never get over me, either."
"I didn't. I still love you, more then you will ever know." Nivia had never heard him talk like that before. Maybe all this time with Inara was rubbing off on him. "It's just that, you were here-"
"I understand. Maybe we just weren't meant to be." She said, walking to the door.
"I don't believe that. And I don't think you do, either." He said. She just turned around and looked at him, before walking out.
River was still in the hold when she got there. "Nivia!" She said, immense excitement in her voice. Nivia stopped and brushed her long blonde hair behind her ear. "What's up, River?"
River suddenly got very shy. "I was wondering, if we're still here the next time it rains, if maybe I could come and you can show me how to appreciate it." Nivia smiled.
"Of course. And you're welcome at my house anytime. All of you."
"Even the Captain?" Nivia sighed.
"I haven't decided yet."
It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
Nivia stood in the doorway of the empty room. Tears filled her eye's. She hadn't cried about Mal - or their son- in a long time. Yes, she thought about them almost all day, everyday. Every time her mind drifted, it went to Mal and how much she loved him.
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
She had missed him so much, and now he was right in front of her, but she couldn't do anything about it. If Inara was his one and only now a days, then she would deal. But she didn't want to just forget about him. He had always been hers, and she his. And it had all changed.
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time
She went to step into the room, then pulled her foot back. It had been almost five years since she had set foot in there.
"That was the baby's room." River said from behind her. She turned around slowly. "How did you know that?" Nivia asked.
"I heard you say it... in your head. I do that sometimes, poke around in people mind's."
"Really? And you can here what they're saying?"
"I can here the words inside their heads, sometimes before they even know they're thinking them." River said with what looked like a brief smile. It was like a light bulb went off over Nivia's head. River was a psychic. That's how she had know Nivia's name, how she had known that she had hit Mal the first time she met him. Because she could read thoughts.
"River, does anyone on the ship know?" River shook her head.
"Nope. Not even Preacher. Not even Simon, my brother."
"Can you remember all the stuff you hear?" River thought for a moment, then shook her head.
"No. The things I hear when I'm asleep, I forget. At least, I think I forget them..." She said, thinking.
"Do you think you might wanna let me help you, find out more about your gift?" Nivia asked sweetly.
River thought for a while. Then she smiled and said. "I think I would like that." Nivia smiled, too.
"How 'bout I meet you at Serenity tomorrow morning. I wanna talk to your brother."
River just smiled again as she noticed Nivia glance down at the silver band around her finger. River began to walk down the hallway.
"He still wears his, too. On a chain around his neck. The other's don't know, but I heard it in his head." She smiled again and walked down the stairs.
Nivia shook her head in amazement. She took another look back at the room. She was hurt, but she wouldn't let Mal see that.
It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me