Addicted

Chapter 5: How Much He's Really Changed.

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: If I said I owned them, I lied. (And, FYI, the song lyrics, or the words in italics, are from Kelly Clarkson's Addicted.)

Author's Note: This movie is pre-Serenity, so there's some hinting of Miranda. Also, their baby's name is revealed in this chapter. But, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO with Nathan fillion. It just seemed like a name that Nivia would name her son.

Nivia heard River shut the door. It was now or never. She stepped into the baby's room. The day after Mal had left, she had shut the door, and hadn't opened it for five years. She looked around. She had been in there for less the a minuet and tears already welled up in her eye's. Memories swirled in her head. She walked over to the crib and looked inside. There was an old, ratty teddy bare. It had been Mal's. She picked it up, and began to sob as she sunk to the floor.

Kaylee walked down the dark corridor. It was late, and she couldn't sleep. She figured she'd go down to the engine, the hum of the machine always put her to sleep. Mal's door was open. She peeked inside. Mal sat on his bed, his back to her, a video card in his hand.

Kaylee heard laughter that defiantly wasn't Mal's. It was too feminine. She took a silent step into the room. Nivia's face shown on the screen. Her blonde hair, long and some-what curly, her hazel eye's happy. "Tell me who you are." Kaylee heard Mal asked. He must be the one holding the camera Nivia just laughed again. "You know who I am."

"Remind me." Mal said. Kaylee could picture the sly smile on his face. The way he used to smile.

"Well, I used to be Nivia Aress. But, these days... I'm Nivia Reynolds."

"Damn Straight." Mal said. She smiled again.

"Why'd you fall in love with me?" She asked.

"This isn't what we're supposed to be talking about. We're supposed to be doin somethin that'll show all my army friends how lucky I am to have a wife like you."

"Pretend for a minuet that we're just doing this for us. Tell me why you fell in love with me." She said shyly. Mal sighed. "When we first met, even through my pounding headache-"

"It's not my fault you scared me." Nivia squealed.

"No, it's just your fault you hit me." He said.

"Malcolm, answer the question." She told him.

"Well, as you know, we were friends for a few weeks. And then it rained again. I saw you dancin around out there, and you looked beautiful. I fell for you. And, your warm heart and personality didn't help, neither. Plus, you have one of the best shots in town. Well, for a girl, anyway." She smiled again. "And then there's that." He said, sheepishly.

"So, this is for you to show all your war buddies?" She asked, sitting down on the soft grass. They were on a hill that over looked their small town. Their spot.

"Mm hmm." He replied, and Kaylee saw the recorder go down as Mal, too, sat down.

"Well, don't ya think this'll make you look all girly, takin me to our spot and recordin all this mushy stuff?"

"Nah. They'll have video cards of their sweet hearts." Nivia got a sly look in her eye.

"Well, why don't you turn off that thing so that we can do what we did the first time you brought me here."

"Well, the wife gets what the wife wants." Mal said, zooming in on her smile before the video card went blank. Mal threw it down on the bed. Kaylee went to back out of the room.

"Don't you wanna see the others?" He asked.

"Sorry, Cap'n. I was just... and then I heard Nivia's voice..."

"It's okay. I do this almost every night before I go to bed. Sometimes a few times a night, when I can't sleep. No ones ever caught me before." He turned around. She walked closer.

It's like the only company I seek is misery all around

There were at least six other memory cards on his table.

"I didn't know you had so many." She said, sifting through them. Mal almost smiled.

"Most of them are after she got pregnant."

"Mind if I give you my opinion?" She asked, afraid of his answer.

"Yes..." He said. "But go ahead."

"You used to be so caring, and fun, and you actually smiled. But, what happened with Nivia and the Baby-"

"His Name was Nathan." Mal said, pushing himself off the bed.

"Huh?" Kaylee asked.

"Ya'll always call him 'the baby.' His name was Nathan." He said angrily.

"Okay, well, what happened with Nivia and...Nathan... it changed you. No offense, but you don't show that much emotion all that often. Well, until lately." Mal was silent.

"...I just love her so much."

"See, that's what I mean. You never talk like that anymore. And tell her that. She thinks that you just dumped her for Inara. Which, you kinda did, but there's still time to fix it."

"Nivia doesn't wanna fix it."

"Did she actually say that?" Kaylee asked, not really believing him.

"Today, when she was here. She said that we weren't 'meant to be.'"

"And what did you say?"

"I told her that I didn't believe that. She just walked away."

Kaylee sighed. "Look, Cap. I know Nivia-"

"Not the way I know her." Mal cut in.

"Exactly. Even after all these years, you still know how she feels, what she wants, what you want. And if you wanna fix things, ya gotta tell her that."

"That won't be enough, I reckon."

"You don't know that. Just give it a try. Go over there right now, if ya have at."

"Simon said she was coming tomorrow to talk to him. I'll talk to her then."

"Okay. Just, do both of ya a favor, and tell her how you feel. Tell her the truth. And you know that Inara would say the same thing." Then, as if she had just remember something, she began sifting through her pockets. She pulled out another Video card. "Speakin of, Inara asked me to give you this." And then she left. Mal was afraid to watch the card.

"I know it's unfair to do this this way, but I just don't think I can talk to you right now. You should have told me about Nivia. But, thats all in the past now. You love her. I know you do. I could see it in your eye's when ever you looked at her our first night here. So, you don't really need my permission, but go to her. Be with the one you really want. Because we both know it isn't me. You don't know me like you know her. You're her husband, Mal. You need her. And she needs you. And, as soon as we get close to my planet, I'm going to leave. Going to her would be the best decision you ever made, and you know that in your heart."

And then the screen went blank. And that's when he realized that everything both girls had said was true.

And he would make sure he had her back. He loved her.

And she was his wife. That was the way he had wanted it sense the moment he realized he was in love with her.