Thinking
Kogoro The Babysiter
It had been about a day since Shinichi became Kochan, and he was in hell. Being a baby was horrible. He couldn't talk, or even walk without help. And he had to wear diapers, having no bladder or bowel control. Without a doubt, this was the worst thing that had ever happened to him.
Okay, so drinking from a bottle wasn't that bad, if a little awkward. And he did enjoy getting held by Ran all the time.
The hardest thing was finding something to occupy his mind. Baby toys and preschool shows just didn't work for him. To keep himself sane he went over his old cases in his head, trying to find something new. But right now he had something else on his mind.
He lay in his crib, waiting for Ran to come feed and change him. Were was she? He was hungry, and if she didn't hurry he was going to get a rash. Grasping the rail, he was able to pull himself into a stand.
"Good morning Kochan-kun!" Ran said, appearing above him with his bottle in one hand.. He had gotten used to Ran being bigger then him, but now she looked huge. He let out a giggle as she lifted him up, giving him a kiss on the forehead before laying him on the changing table. She gave him his bottle and he started to drink as she unfastened his diaper.
"Oh, you feel warm, I'd better take your temperature." Ran said.
Oh come on, not again. Your gonna turn me into a hypocondriac.
Ran covered the thermomiter in vasoline before lifting up his legs and shoving it home. He stiffened and tried to image he was somewhere else.
Any deeper and that thing'll pierce my brain. It seemed like forever before Ran took it out and held it up to her line of sight..
"Well, looks like you don't have a fever. Now lets get you dressed." Ran put a new diaper on him and a shirt over his head. Picking him up again and carrying him to the kitchen, she placed him in his highchair and started to cook breakfast. A few minutes later Kogoro walked into the kitchen, hangover free much to Kochan's amazement.
Kochan watched as Ran made breakfast. Unfortunatly, he only got a jar of strained peas. He watched Kogoro eat real food while Ran fed him.
"Come on Kochan. Open up for the airplane." She said, moving the spoon around in front of his face.
Scene Change
"WHAT!"
WHAT!
"Sorry, but the babysitter cancled and I have to go to school." She handed him the baby. "You'll be fine. I've left a list of his feeding and nap times."
"But..." To late, Ran was gone.
Kogoro and Kochan looked at each other.
How do I get myself into these things? they both thought.
Scene Change
"Come on kid." Kogoro said as he tried to get the baby to drink his bottle. Kochan coughed and sputered. The detective wasn't so much feeding him as drowing him in milk. He was finally able to wrestle the bottle away. Holding it in both hands, he started to suck.
"Okay, do it yourself." Kogoro snorted. He could swear the baby was giving him a dirty look.
Later, Kogoro put him in his playpen. To his relife the kid stayed quite for most of the afternoon. That is until it was time for another feeding. He heated up a bottle and brought it to the playpen.
"Here kid."
Kochan was sitting down and giving him a strange look. Oh no. Not that look! He had seen it a few times when Ran was a baby, and had always handed her off quickly to her mother.
"Please tell me you're not going too..." he began.
Too late. I just did, and I think I still am.
The smell hit Kogoro like a punch in the face. He staggered back like he had been shot. The baby started to cry loudly.
Hey, where are you going! I need to be changed!
The detective considered pretending he didn't notice and just leaving it for Ran, but he didn't want to risk his daughter's wrath.
"Alright, I can do this." Kogoro said to himself, picking Kochan up and out of the playpen and placing him on the floor. Gathering up a fresh diaper, wipes, powder, and his courage, he opened the diaper.
"Oh god." He reached for a baby wipe and tried not to breathe. How could something so small produce so much? It went against every law of nature. Suddenly, Kogoro felt his shirt getting wet. He looked down to see it was coming from the baby.
"Aaaahhh!" He jumped back. Kochan was laughing.
I'm sorry. I swear it's completely involuntary. But this is just too funny.
After putting a new diaper on the baby and a new shirt on himself, Kogoro handed him his bottle, sat down on the couch, and lit a cigarret. Seeing the baby crawling over to him, Kogoro picked him up and placed him in his lap.
"Ran said I can't smoke around you, but one time won't hurt." He looked down at baby Kochan. "Don't tell her, okay?" The baby silently drank his bottle, looking up at Kogoro.
My lips are sealed.
"Heh, I think I like you better then your brother. Even with the crying and the diapers you're less irritating then him."
Well excuse me! He mentally huffed.
Scene Change
Ran hurried home from school, half expecting to find her father about to jump off the roof. Instead she found him sitting on the couch with the baby asleep in his lap.
"How'd it go?" she asked quietly so as not to wake Kochan.
"Alright. He was quiet most of the day." Kogoro answered, more then a little proud of the fact that he had been able to take care of a baby for a day.
"Were you smoking around him?" she asked, holding up his full ashtray. Kogoro gulped audibuly.
Ran took the baby from her father and went to lay him in his crib. But instead of scolding Kogoro she stayed to watch Kochan sleep and marvel at how much he resembled his brother.