Family Infestation on Christmas Vacation
"I can't believe it took nearly seven hours to get rid of them," Scott moaned as the X-Men slunk into the kitchen. "Even with the National Guard!"
"The Friends of Mutant Kind mean well," Jean said. "They're just showing their support the wrong way."
"By wrong way you mean blowing up all our enemies? Maybe that not so bad," Remy chuckled.
"Personally it's the fact that they tried to blow them up on our doorstep that's ticking me off," Rogue said. "And they wrecked half our outside holiday decorations with that stupid firefight with the FOH."
"Well at least they left before Alex and Kurt's parents got here," Scott sighed. "Maybe things will get quiet for a change?"
"X-Men, please report to the library," Xavier sent a mental summons. "We have some guests I think you should meet."
"Then again…" Scott sighed as they left.
"Oh please let it be for some kind of secret mission for SHEILD," Rogue threw up her hands. "I don't think I could take any more family surprises this year."
But she and the other X-Men were in for a huge surprise when they saw who was calmly sipping tea in the library with Xavier and Ororo. "I don't believe this!" Rogue gasped.
"YOU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Remy shouted.
"What? Can't a father visit his son for the holidays?" Jean Luc LeBeau asked as he calmly sipped some tea.
"Great the head of the Thieves' Guild is here. Better hide the silverware," Scott grumbled.
"Yeah like the Misfits didn't already steal it," Remy glared at him.
"You have a point," Scott admitted.
"But so do you," Remy grunted. He glared at his adopted father. "You never visit anyone for no reason. What scam have you cooked up this time? You…AAAAAHHHH!"
Everyone was surprised when two small figures in red and black hoods and garments tackled Remy from behind a couch. "Got Ya!" They laughed.
"Get off me you crazy little…" Remy grumbled.
"Does anybody know what's going on here?" Jean asked.
"Do we ever?" Scott replied.
There were three other individuals that came out of the shadows. They were all over twenty years old and were wearing black uniforms with red vests. One had long red hair in a ponytail and looked a lot like Jean Luc. One was African American and the third was bald with an earring. "Come on little brother," The African American chuckled. "You getting' all stuffy hangin' round here."
"Not funny Alphonse," Remy growled as he shook off the two smaller figures. "Why you here?"
"Just showing you some brotherly love this fine holiday season," The red haired one snickered.
"Hey Henri, This makes up for the time he snuck a whoopie cushion in your car when you went on that date with that fine femme Maria," The bald one laughed.
"Not even close Gustave," Henri snorted. "But it's a start."
"Come on," Alphonse said. "You know all brothers have a duty to torment each other."
"Brothers?" Rogue blinked. She turned to Remy. "You have brothers?"
"Correction," One of the two small hooded thieves removed her hood. "Brothers and sisters." She was a young red haired girl about thirteen years old.
"That's right, sisters!" The second girl removed her hood. She was also thirteen years old but had black hair.
"Sisters?" Rogue's jaw dropped. She turned to Remy. "You have sisters and you never told me?"
"That's right!" The black haired girl pointed to herself with her thumb. "I'm Charlotte!"
"And I'm Celeste!" The red haired girl pointed to herself with her thumb.
"These are my boys Henri, Alphonse and Gustave," Jean Luc said with pride.
"Gustave and I are also adopted," Alphonse explained. "A little bit before Remy actually."
"It's a family tradition that the leader of the Thieves' Guild adopt at least a few kids to add to his family," Henri waved.
"And these are my half sisters," Henri explained. "Papa remarried a while ago."
"Great, Trinity and Spyder will have some new friends to play with," Scott mocked.
"Shut up, Cyclops," Remy glared at him.
"Your brothers are right about one thing, you so uptight Remy," Belladonna snickered as she also appeared out of the shadows.
"Oh lord no…" Remy turned white. "Not you! The leaders of both the Thieves and Assassins Guilds here?"
"Relax, Boy," Jean Luc waved his hands. "There's been a truce ever since a bigger rivalry blew into New Orleans. You know, with Madame Katrina?"
"I've seen the pictures on television…" Rogue said. "The X-Men wanted to help but we…"
"We had a little incident in LA," Jean interrupted. "Let's just say the authorities ordered us to stay away from the Midwest."
"Let me guess, the one with the Chinese gang, that Black Mantis assassin and that house exploding?" Alphonse asked. "We heard about that too."
"What happened? How is everything?" Remy asked. "I tried to find out what was going on but…I almost went down there and…"
"And you would have found nothing," Jean Luc sighed. "It's gone Remy. Our family home is no more. Got flooded and caught on fire."
"The headquarters for the Assassins Guild was also lost," Belladonna said. "Luckily most of my clan was out on missions at the time so none of my people were killed. Well not by the hurricane anyway."
"Most of us managed to survive too," Gustave said. "Jean Pierre was washed away when he tried to rescue some kid and Cousin Francis was shot by a looter if you can believe it. But other than that our family survived."
"Rivers gang weren't so lucky," Alphonse sighed. "Nearly all of 'em were killed in the flood. Most of the organized gangs in New Orleans are either dead, gone to other cities or banded together now."
"We all decided on a truce, to help rebuild the city and make things better," Belladonna said. "Both Thieves and Assassins lent out some of our people to the police to help patrol and clean up. But it's still gonna be a long, long time before the city gets back to normal."
"And even then it will never be the same," Henri sighed.
"I should have been there," Remy's face grew hard. "I should have…"
"What? What would you have done Remy? Charge up your cards and scare the hurricane away?" Belladonna asked. "There's nothing you could have done and coming down may have made things worse."
"But we're the X-Men! We could have done something!" Remy told her. "Storm…"
"I told you, Remy," Ororo said sadly. "It was too strong even for me to handle. Even I cannot completely change all the weather patterns of the world."
"You were here and safe, and that's what's important to me," Jean Luc got up and put his hand on his shoulder. "Now I know you and me never really see eye to eye but I always did care for you as if you were my own."
"Your own personal thief," Remy grumbled.
"You never exactly complained before," Jean Luc said.
"Let's get back to the subject before another firefight breaks out," Rogue held up her hand. "I don't mind Belladonna being here, but what's the story with the rest of you?"
"You serious? Considering Remy's past history with her?" Jean Luc was surprised.
"Told you we were friends," Belladonna grinned.
"We need a place to stay for a while, out of New Orleans," Jean Luc said. "It's not safe for my girls and the boys needed a vacation anyway."
"Mr. Lebeau and his family are here to temporarily escape the devastation in the Gulf Coast," Xavier said. "And provided that they behave themselves I have allowed this."
"You're joking?" Scott's jaw dropped.
"Scott, he lets the Misfits come over here," Rogue looked at him.
"Oh yeah," Scott sighed. "I guess compared to them these guys aren't that bad."
"Professor," Remy whispered in Xavier's ear. "This may be not such a good idea. You don't know them like I do. They all got minds like steel traps. A little thing like a flood or fire wouldn't make them just up and leave New Orleans. They are up to something."
"Highly likely," Xavier nodded as he calmly sipped his tea.
"Then why you say they could stay here?" Remy asked. "You may think Remy have a twitchy hand, but compared to them he's a Boy Scout!"
"You Remy's girlfriend?" Celeste asked Rogue.
"Did you know he used to wet the bed until he was fourteen years old?" Charlotte asked.
"LIES!" Remy pointed at them. "THEY'RE LIARS! DON'T LISTEN TO THEM!"
"He's right," Alphonse grinned. "Remy not wet the bed until he was fourteen."
"He wet the bed until he was fifteen," Henri grinned. He looked at Remy. "Now we even for the whoopie cushion."
"Who want's to see a picture of Remy as Snow White when he was a little boy?" Belladonna waved a small picture book around. "As well as a few other embarrassing pictures?"
"Oh I do! I do!" Rogue grinned and shot her hand up.
"NO YOU DON'T!" Remy shouted.
"You wanna see your brother's room?" Rogue had a wicked grin on her face.
"YEAH!" The twin girls yelled as they followed her.
"Lead the way!" Belladonna laughed. "We can look at the pictures in there!"
"I got the shaving cream!" Alphonse snickered as the other Lebeau Brothers followed after them. "Boys! Get out the silly string and pink bunny slippers!"
"Oh no…" Remy ran off to try and recover his reputation before his family completely destroyed it. "No, no, no…"
"I think I'm starting to see why Remy never told us about his family," Jean said.
"I think I'm starting to see why Remy wet the bed until he was fifteen," Scott blinked.
Meanwhile upstairs Jubilee went into the room she shared with Rina. Rina was at Danger Room practice so she had the place to herself. Or so she thought.
She opened up her closet to get a sweater and saw someone sitting in there. "Hello Jubilee," Her Aunt Hope was there, her head had a bandage on it and her arm was in a cast. But other than that she looked very much alive.
"AUNT HOPE?" Jubilee gasped. "YOU…"
"Alive, yeah," Hope quickly put her hand over her niece's mouth. "But barely. Please! I don't want to attract any attention!"
Jubilee pulled away. "But…you're dead! The house! It blew up and…"
"There was a trap door," Hope explained. "I used it for emergencies. Unfortunately it got a little stuck and as you can see I'm still recovering. I was only just recently able to get up and about to see you. I never intended for you to think I was dead. Just the Chinese Crime Syndicate and the Authorities."
"But what are you doing here?" Jubilee asked. "Did you know Brad was arrested?"
"I know, I know…" Hope groaned. "I'm working on it. Ow…My side still hurts. Jubilee I know I don't have the right to ask you this but can you please let me hide out here for a little while?"
"I dunno, I gotta ask…""No! No I don't want to drag Xavier and the others into this!" Hope held up her hands.
"How can you not?" Jubilee asked. "He's a telepath remember? This place is crawling with them! Wait a minute…How did you sneak in here?"
"Scrambler," Hope tapped her forehead. "Had it implanted years ago. Helps keep nosy intruders out."
"Logan!" Jubilee remembered.
"I have a special scent erasing lotion spray," Hope told her. "And I bribed that dragon with some beef jerky."
"I know I am gonna regret this," Jubilee sighed. "But fine, you can hide out in here for a while. But not too long!"
"Got it, after Christmas I am out of here," Hope nodded.
"Now I just gotta explain to my room mate why my fugitive aunt is hiding in my closet and not to tell anyone," Jubilee groaned.
But Jubilee and Remy were not to be the only ones with family problems this holiday season.
"Do you hear something outside?" Kurt asked Ray as they were watching television in the living room.
"Yeah it sounds like something's stuck in our chimney," Ray realized. The two of them looked at it.
"I wonder…" Kurt went to look up the flue when suddenly a huge pile of soot got him in the face. "AAAKKK!"
WHUMP! WHUMP! WHUMP!
"What's going on now?" Scott ran in with Jean and Bobby.
"Something fell down the chimney," Ray pointed. "And it ain't Santa Claus."
Kurt pushed something heavy off of him and looked at three familiar soot covered figures. "Benos? Stephan? Maxx?" Kurt gasped. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"
"Uh, hi brother," Maxx gulped.
"Dad's really ticked off at us," Benos said.
"Can we stay with you for a while?" Stephan asked.
"What did you do?" Kurt yelled. "And how did you get here?"
"Long story short they hitched a ride with me," Illyana rounded the corner with S'ym and Peter. "They ended up in Limbo after their father chased them out of their home dimension."
"Don't wanna go into details but let's just say it involves a catapult, some monster innards and Stephan's lousy aim," Benos grumbled.
"ME?" Stephan whirled on his brother and smacked him in the head. "You're the one who was at the controls!"
"Well it wasn't my fault!" Maxx said. "How was I too know Father's bedroom window was exactly…"
"NEVER MIND!" Kurt held up his hands. "I GET THE PICTURE!"
"So can we stay here for a while so Father doesn't kill us?" Benos pleaded.
"Please Brother Kurt!" Stephan knelt down and grabbed Kurt by the waist. "Please!"
"Pleeeeeeeeeeese!" Max wailed.
"Oh all right already! I'll talk to the Professor!" Kurt threw up his hands.
"Dude! You can't be serious!" Bobby said. "Didn't they like try to take over the world just a few months ago?"
"Technically that was our father," Benos said. "We're just foot soldiers."
"Yeah we're not smart enough to think of stuff like that," Maxx sniffed. "Really, we're not."
"We can't even spell Earth, much less conquer it," Stephan nodded.
"I believe them," Illyana said. "I've had experience dealing with demons, and trust me when I say this, they are incapable of taking over anything other than food pantry."
"They make me look smart," S'ym nodded.
"See what I mean?" Illyana sighed.
"Again with the jokes about my intelligence," S'ym grumbled.
"Well how am I supposed to pass up an opportunity like that when you set it up so well?" Illyana snapped.
"You never respect my feelings!" S'ym bawled as he ran off.
"Oh for the love of…" Illyana snapped as she followed him. "Is it that time of the month for you?"
"Time of the month?" Bobby blinked. "But isn't he a he?"
"I think it's a demon thing," Peter told them.
Benos' stomach growled. "I'm hungry," He whined.
"Gee there's a shock!" Maxx smacked him on the head.
"Stop hitting me!" Benos hit back.
"Quiet both of you!" Stephan hit the two of them on the head.
"I'm hungry too!" Maxx spread his wings and started to fly around. "Let's find the food!"
"Come back here!" Kurt chased his brothers. "You're getting soot all over the place! PROFESSOR!"
"Well this is going to be a fun holiday. Let's see, in addition to the fires and riots we now have Royal Family of the Thieves Guild, Gambit's ex-fiancée and a group of demons," Scott counted off. "Some of them which are related to Kurt and possibly the Three Stooges."
"Don't forget your brother's coming as well as Kurt's parents," Jean pointed out.
"Just needs one more thing to make this holiday a complete and total hell," Scott said.
"Hey guys!" Todd hopped in with the Misfits following. "HAPPY HOLIDAYS!"
"And there it is!" Scott dramatically gestured to them. "Good Night folks!"
Yeah I thought it would be fun for Remy's family to show up. So I made up a couple of 'em! Next some really crazy stuff as the Misfits and X-Men interact with everybody's relatives! He he…I have no idea where this is going but won't it be fun to find out?