Typical Holiday Insanity
"All right! Listen up!" Logan roared. "NO MORE EGGNOG FIGHTS IN THE HOUSE!" All around him the walls, furniture and floor was covered in eggnog.
"Does that mean we can do it outside?" Benos held up his hand. Kurt's brothers, Remy's brothers, Bobby, Ray, Kurt, Todd, Fred and the toddlers were all involved in the fight.
"Don't look at me!" Kurt said. "I was trying to stop them! My parents are going to be here any minute! The last thing I need is for them to see this mess!"
Apparently so was Hank, but not by choice. "Great, my fur is going to smell like eggnog for weeks," Hank sighed as he looked at himself.
"That's a bad thing?" Maxx asked.
"You have a point," Hank said as he watched the toddlers lick eggnog everywhere. "No, boys! Don't lick the couch!"
"For cryin' out loud," Logan grumbled as he picked up a struggling Barney and Claudius. "Where's Shipwreck? Isn't he supposed to be watching his kids?"
"He's supposed to be but he isn't," Todd shrugged.
"Like that surprises me," Logan grunted.
"Shipwreck's outside with Forge and some of the others putting up the holiday decorations," Hank told him.
"He's bringing back the neon reindeer and the dogs barking Jingle Bells isn't he?" Logan sighed.
"Among other things. Boy Charles really left in a hurry to that conference in Washington DC didn't he?" Hank looked at Logan.
"Conference my holly berries," Logan grimaced. Clearly he wanted to say something a lot stronger if it wasn't for the squalling boys in his grasp. "Will you two knock it off? Geeze! You kids get louder every day!"
"Down! Down!" Barney screamed.
"Down! Down! Down!" Claudius screamed. He bit Logan's hand.
"AAAAHHHHGGGH!" Logan winced. "Why you little…"
"Hold on! I got this!" Todd grabbed Claudius. "No, no…No biting! You know better than that!"
"I got this one," Fred grabbed Barney before Logan could kill them. "No crying. You don't want to be on Santa's naughty list now do you?"
"I think it's a little late for that," Logan growled as he held his hand.
"Actually for those two being on the naughty list might be a step up," Ray remarked.
"All right!" Illyana walked in with Peter behind her. "Time to get all the holiday crap out of our systems! S'ym is out there waiting with the flame-throwers and toilet paper."
"Oooh! This is what S'ym was telling us about earlier!" Benos squealed.
"Let's go!" Stephan yelled. The three demon brothers ran out following Illyana.
"She's going to take them caroling again this year, right?" Logan sighed.
"Oh yes," Peter sighed. "I'd better follow them."
"Caroling?" Henri asked. "What is so bad about caroling?"
"Last year my sister and her demon horde decided to pay a call on all our enemies and torment them," Peter explained. "By singing to them and trashing everything in sight."
"Looks like they're continuing the tradition this year," Remy chuckled. "Only Nightcrawler's relatives are going instead."
"Anything to get them out of my fur for a little bit," Kurt moaned. "They've already trashed my room."
"Really?" Alphonse looked at his brothers. "You know, suddenly I am filled with the Christmas Spirit."
"So am I," Henri grinned. "Brothers let us join our demon friends as they go caroling."
"They're going to steal our enemies blind aren't they?" Logan asked as they ran off.
"Yup," Remy nodded. "Remy thinks he's just figured out the real reason his family came this year."
"Well," Logan sighed. "Better them than us."
"Yeah since the Misfits have already picked this place clean from time to time," Remy rationalized.
"Excuse me," Hank held up his hand. "As much as I'd hate to be the proverbial Scrooge, I'd like to point out that as X-Men we are supposed to be against crime."
"Technically we against mutant crimes," Remy said. "And since my brothers are human and their targets are mostly going to be human…"
"Not to mention real jerks who probably deserve it," Logan added. "Yeah I think we should let it slide this time."
"YEOWWWWW! OW! OW! OW!" Shipwreck could be heard screaming. The lights in the mansion dimmed on and off for a few seconds.
"Besides it's not like we don't have enough problems around here!" Logan groaned. "Come on Beast, Gumbo, we'd better see what the Wise Guys are doing. The rest of you clean this up!"
"No problem!" Todd said as he put down Claudius. "Okay little guy! Lick it up! That's it! Get it all!"
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Ray asked. "Won't they get germs or something?"
"Nah! As long as they don't swallow anything other than eggnog they'll be fine," Todd waved. "I mean I used to lick the floor as a baby and I turned out okay." He looked at his hands and started to blink. "Have you ever looked at your fingernails and wondered what color they are and why they're the color they are?"
Meanwhile Logan, Hank and Remy were outside. They were looking at Shipwreck hopping around tied up with Christmas lights that were blinking on and off. "I'm okay…" He said in a funny voice.
"Let me guess," Logan sighed. "He made a pass at Storm again before she left with Jean didn't he?"
"Yup," Forge said. "But on the up side her electric shocks seem to charge up those old dim bulbs we found."
"Speaking of dim bulbs…" Remy looked at the assortment of volunteers helping. Arcade, Xi, Tim, Roberto and Shane were there. "Is it Remy or are there even more crazy gadgets this time?"
"Yeah," Arcade nodded excitedly. "Wait until you see our latest invention! Show 'em Forge."
"You know that movie with Jim Carrey 'The Grinch'?" Forge said as he held a gizmo. "Well I saw something that inspired me!" He turned on a huge machine that looked like a machine gun. "Do it Shooter!"
"All right!" Shane grinned as he took the controls. He took aim and then shot out a continuous string of bright light bulbs like a machine gun. Somehow they stuck to the side of house without breaking. "I tell you I never enjoyed decorating for Christmas more!"
"Neat huh?" Arcade chirped.
"No wonder Jean and Ororo went so fast to go pick up Alex and the Elf's folks from the airport," Logan grumbled.
"Can I try?" Remy asked.
"Me first," Hank said.
"I can't take this," Logan groaned as he went back inside. "I think the eggnog fight was saner."
He went inside and saw Jubilee and Rina loaded up with food and craft materials. "All right, now what are you two up to? What's with all the food?"
"We're making gifts," Rina told him.
"Uh yeah," Jubilee said. "Doing some wrapping and a little crafts. Thought we'd stay in our room and work."
"I guess I can't blame you for wanting to hide in your room for a while," Logan said.
"WHOOO HOOOO!" Pietro ran by in a blur.
"COME BACK HERE AND DIE LIKE A MAN YOU FRUITCAKE!" Tabitha shouted as she and Wanda ran behind him.
"No Tabitha! Let me hurt him for you!" Wanda shouted.
"WHEN MY SAMMY FINDS OUT ABOUT THAT STUNT YOU PULLED WITH THE MISTLETOE…." Tabitha yelled as they rounded the corner. "DIE!"
BOOM! BOOOM!
FIZZLE!
"OW! WANDA! NO FAIR!" Pietro shouted. "NO TABBY! NO!"
BOOM!
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!" Tabitha squealed. "REVENGE IS SWEET!"
BOOOM!
"Actually hiding in a room right now is starting to look appealing," Logan blinked as some plaster fell from the ceiling. "Technically though I think you kids aren't supposed to have so much food in your rooms."
"Well that rule kind of went out the window when Belladonna stuffed that giant cheese wheel in the guest room closet," Jubilee said.
"A what?" Logan blinked. "What cheese wheel?"
"Wheeeeeee!" Spyder and Daria suddenly went by rolling a giant cheese wheel.
"That cheese wheel," Rina pointed.
"We're gonna win!" Celeste followed them.
"Oh no you don't!" Quinn and Charlotte followed them. "Come on girls!"
"Cheese Soccer is fun!" Brittany squealed as she brought up the rear.
"COME BACK WITH MY CHRISTMAS CHEESE YOU MANIACS!" Belladonna raced after them with Rogue.
"You little rug rats are so gonna get it!" Rogue shouted.
Logan stood there for a full minute after they left. "I don't wanna to know…" Logan closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. "I don't wanna to know."
"Okay we're going into our room and not coming out for a while," Jubilee turned to leave.
"Yeah but before you do I gotta tell you something," Logan put his hand on her shoulder. "I know last Christmas was kind of rough on you. And this year with your aunt and all…Well, I just wanna let you know that you don't have to go it alone. You hear what I'm saying?"
"Trust me Wolvie," Jubilee groaned. "This year I'm definitely not going to cry over my aunt!"
BOOM! BOOM BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM BOOM! BOOM!
"What is that?" Logan yelled.
"Sounds like 'Silent Night'," Jubilee thought. "Being done by explosives."
"FORGE! SHIPWRECK!" Logan roared as he tore down the hallway. "NOW WHAT ARE YOU MANIACS DOING?"
"Thanks a lot X," Jubilee sighed. "I owe you a big one."
"Just don't expect me to cover for you forever," Rina told her as they got to their room.
"Close the door," Jubilee ordered. Then she knocked on the closet door. "Aunt Hope? I got some food."
The door opened and they saw Aunt Hope wearing a Santa hat on her head. "It's about freaking time. Where's my eggnog?"
"There was an incident with it," Jubilee rolled her eyes. "But I did get you a thermos of punch, a turkey sandwich, some Christmas cookies and an assortment of Hostess Cakes."
"Good, you can only get so much nutrition sucking on candy canes for an hour," Aunt Hope graciously accepted them.
"Oh and I also got some more popsicle sticks and felt for you," Jubilee gave her some more art supplies. "And I got the glitter you wanted."
"Thanks! I was running low," Hope told her as she accepted them.
"You're making your aunt do crafts in the closet?" Rina looked at her.
"Well she needs something to do while she's hiding in there," Jubilee told her. "And I needed some help on my holiday gifts so…Why not kill two birds with one stone?"
"And people call me psychotic?" Rina blinked.
"You know these popsicle stick baskets are harder to make than I thought," Hope said as she worked on them. "But they are kind of fun."
"You're up to the baskets already?" Rina blinked.
"Yup, the paper poinsettias and the potholders are all done," Hope told her, pointing to the huge pile in the corner of the room. "I feel like one of Santa's Elves."
"And I feel like things are going to get a lot more weird before this holiday is over," Rina groaned.
And she was right.