Definitely Not A Winter Wonderland
Somewhere in the solar system, just beyond Mars.
"This better be good Skratt," The Snark Commander snarled at his son. The lizard like alien flexed his claws. "And not another failure like the last five times!"
"Father I know I've made some mistakes in the past," Skratt, a smaller lizard like alien in a brown and black uniform gulped.
"SOME MISTAKES?" The Snark Commander snarled. "Because of you, our main ship blew up, our lifeboats didn't have enough power to reach our home world and we're stuck here in this goddess forsaken solar system! You're just lucky we were able to salvage this old Shi'ar spaceship to live on! Otherwise you would have been jettisoned with all the other dead weight!"
"It hasn't been all bad," Skratt gulped. "We did manage to get the short range transporter fixed."
"Yes so we can go to Earth once every three weeks!" The Snark Commander snapped. "BIG HELP SKRATT!"
"But I think I've found something to help us! Behold!" He pulled a tarpin off a strange device. It was an robot that looked like a metal version of Santa with sharp teeth, pointy beard and a mace on the end of its hat.
"What in the name of the Great Egg is this monstrosity?" The Snark Commander blinked.
"This is a replica of a mythical earth creature called a San-ta," Skratt showed him. "Apparently it leaves presents for children one night of the year by climbing down heating vents and leaving them under dead plants."
"You're kidding me?" The Snark Commander looked at his son.
"No I researched it," Skratt told him. "Well the dead plants are decorated but you get the idea."
"Let me see if I get this straight," The Snark Commander rubbed the bridge of his snout. "Humans believe that this fat…thing slides down their heating systems in order to leave presents under decorated dead trees?"
"Yes sir," A Snark Underling nodded. "We verified it ourselves."
"Really? Earthlings are without a doubt the weirdest creatures in the universe," The Snark Commander grumbled. "Enlighten me Skratt, just how is…this, supposed to help us?"
"I have a cunning plan, Father," Skratt grinned.
"Where have I heard that before?" The Snark Commander rolled his eyes.
"I have made a small army of these Santa Drones using spare parts from our old ship, ores from the surrounding asteroids, materials from our secret raiding parties on Earth and whatever I could scrap from the kitchen," Skratt told him. "Using these drones I will have them infiltrate several homes of top Earth officials by blasting open the heating vents…"
"I think I see where this is going," The Snark Commander interrupted. "And I have also just figured out where all our spoons went."
"I only had the resources to create about a thousand of them," Skratt continued.
"And our melon ballers..." The Snark Commander groaned.
"Somebody has way too much time on his hands," One Snark soldier whispered to another.
"I HEARD THAT!" Skratt glared at the soldier.
"Good! Because it's true!" The Snark Commander whacked him on the head. "Skratt, we are trapped in this solar system unable to return to our home world. What makes you think for a moment that I would even consider such a stupid, idiotic…"
Just then Lifeline, Todd and the other mutants that were holding onto the device appeared amidst a purple glow. "GIVE IT BACK! GIVE IT…." Scott shouted. The clacking of weapons stopped him. "Back?"
They all looked at the hostile aliens surrounding them. "Well, now we know what this thing is," Pietro gulped.
"Oh dear," Lifeline blinked.
"Uh oh…" Todd gulped. "I think we pushed the wrong button."
"We pushed the wrong button?" Kurt snapped.
"GET THEM!" The Snark Commander screamed at the top of his lungs.
"RUN FOR IT!" Lance shouted. Lifeline and the mutants ran away from the laser fire. Scott and Shane used their powers to blast the Snarks in their way. Bobby froze as many as he could. Todd slimed several of them. Lance used his powers to shake the spaceship.
"What are those things?" Scott yelled as they ran for their lives.
"I think they're aliens," Kurt remarked.
"No, really? ya think?" Doug snapped. "I HATE MY LIFE!"
"I did not sign up for this!" Shane shouted as he blasted some Snarks. "Beat it you overgrown handbags!"
"Great, we get to fight the Snarks again!" Lance groaned.
"Snarks?" Bobby asked as he froze a few more Snarks.
"We tangled with them when we met up with the Power Pack," Lance explained.
"Oh yeah, I remember you telling us about that," Scott said. A laser blast narrowly missed him. "YIKES!"
"GET THEM! GET THEM!" The Snark Commander jumped up and down as his soldiers attacked. "I RECOGNIZE SOME OF THOSE HUMANS! THEY'RE THE ONES THAT BLEW UP OUR SHIP!"
"Oh Grix, either I blew up the ship or they did," Skratt swore. "Make up your mind."
"SHUT UP!" The Snark Commander shouted at him.
BLAM! BLAM!
POW!
ZAPP!
RUMMMMBLE!
"Not again!" The Snark Commander shouted as his ship shook. "That one that makes earthquakes is back!"
"AAAHAHAAAAHHH! MY EYES! HE SLIMED ME!" One Snark ran around with goop on his eyes.
"And so is the one with the slime," Skratt blinked. "Wasn't he really the one that blew up the ship in the first place?"
"SOMEBODY JUST KILL THEM BEFORE THE ENTIRE SHIP GETS BLOWN UP AGAIN!" The Snark Commander snapped.
"X-Men! Move out!" Scott shouted.
"We're not all X-Men you know?" Lance snapped.
"Just shut up and fight!" Scott blasted away
"Here's a thought," Lifeline shouted. "Instead of fighting, why don't we just use the device to teleport out of here?"
"I second that!" Doug screamed like a girl.
Kurt teleported around, kicking and knocking down Snarks. "Ya! Let's do it!"
"Who has the device?" Lance looked around.
"I DO!" Todd waved it. "GRAB ON!" Everyone did so. They teleported away.
"They did it again…" The Snark Commander's eye twitched. "Those human freaks did it again! They wrecked my ship! THEY WILL PAY!"
"But Father," Skratt gulped. "What about my subtle cunning plan?"
"SCREW THE SUBTLE PLAN!" The Snark Commander yelled. "I WANT PAYBACK! SKRATT! READY YOUR TROOPS! WE'RE OFF TO INVADE THE EARTH! STARTING WITH THE HOME CITY OF THOSE…THOSE…"
"Interfering fools Sir?" A Snark underling suggested.
"I was going for something a bit more colorful but that will do," The Snark Commander said. He punched up the information on the computer. "X-Men eh? From the City of Bayville? GOOD! PREPARE THE SANTA SQUAD FOR THE INVASION OF BAYVILLE!"