hey all! i'm hyper on green cordial, so i've been told by theleprechaun to write this...list(?) i'm not quite sure what it is. anyway, a not-quite-sure on what harry isn't allowed to do. enjoy! oh, wait. the leprechauns have also just told me that i don't own harry potter. damn. i'm coming down from my high now. stupid depressing news.

1. I am not allowed to steal McGonnagal's catnip

2.I am not allowed to sell Dumbledores Sherbet Lemon's as he will go crazy from lack of drugs.

3. I am not allowed to tell Flitwick to go back to the Shire

4. I am not allowed to sell tickets for a circus who's main attraction is Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret

5. I am not allowed to fill Snape's office with shampoo bottles (namely Pantene) with step-by-step instructions.

6. I am not allowed to do the Macarena, stark naked, on the staff table, as Professor Sinistra gets turned on by it.

7. I am not allowed to empty Draco Malfoy's hair-gel bottles as he gets rather distraught

8. I am not allowed to drink all of Trelawney's supply of cooking sherry.

9. I am not allowed to charm all of the Ravenclaws books to be porn magazines as they may recognise me in the centrefold.

10. I am not allowed to play with my "basilisk" in public

11. I am not allowed to call Voldemort "Mouldyshorts"- at least not to his face.

12. I am not allowed to watch the Slytherin's team Quidditch practises, as I myself am not into witnessing orgies

13. I am not allowed to feed any staff member or student to the Giant Squid

14. I am not allowed to give some more blast-ended skrewts to Hagrid, as the last I did this, the entire fourth-year Care Of Magical Creatures class hexed me

15. I am not allowed to hang all the Hufflepuff's teddybears on the top of the North Tower just to see them cry.

16. I am not allowed to hex the Slytherins and say it was in self-defence.

17. I am not allowed to walk into Hogwarts in full-length black robes, and red eye contacts just to see everyone shit themselves.

18. I am not allowed to tease the Whomping Willow by running round it in circles, just out of its personal radius.

19. I am not allowed to invade anyone's bubble as it's rude and annoying

20. I am not allowed to moon Professor Vector

21. I am not allowed to slip Amortentia in the school supply of pumpkin juice, as the effects are rather scary.

22. I am not allowed to spike McGonnagal's ginger snaps.

23. I am not allowed to set off multiple dungbombs then start the rhyming accusations

24. I am not allowed to have a romantic affair with Draco Malfoy as some people have weak stomachs.

25. I am not allowed to have any sexual activity with the Giant Squid as I now suspect that she is pregnant.

thanks for reading this, and remember to REVIEW!