Santa Snark is Coming To Town

"Great just great! Fury's going to kill us for this whole List thing!" Scott paced back and forth. "And of course Gambit's relatives and Belladonna high tail it out of here!"

"That's because they're smart," Kurt said as he and Todd played cards. "Got any Sideshow Bobs?"

"Go Maggie," Todd shook his head.

"What?" Scott looked at them.

"It's a Simpson's version of Go Fish," Arcade explained. He and Xi were playing too.

"How can you just sit there and play cards at a time like this?" Scott snapped.

"Because Iceman and Shooter are hogging the video games," Arcade grumbled. "Something about Jubilee. Don't ask."

"Well at least with their rivalry they aren't wrecking the place," Logan grumbled. "And speaking of the Firecracker's problems where is her aunt? You she's probably the real reason Fury's coming over here!"

"She's in the kitchen with Daisy Mae," Todd told him. "They get along like a house on fire."

"Big surprise," Scott sighed.

"Actually Fury's exact words were that we had something he wanted," Hank pointed out. "Perhaps he was referring to the teleportation device?"

"Then all we have to do is give it to him," Scott said.

"Or what's left of it…" Forge held up the box. "I kind of removed a few pieces already…"

"I'm not even going to ask…" Scott moaned. "Great, this can not get any worse."

BRANNNGGG! BRANNNG!

The alarm blared loudly. "When will I learn?" Scott moaned. "When will I learn not to say things like that?"

"Geeze Summers," Todd gave him a look. "Even I know better to say that!"

"I know, I know…" Scott hung his head in shame.

Todd stood tall and made a coughing noise. "For your transgression of this unwritten rule, you will write 'I Will Not Say Things Cannot Get Any Worse' a hundred times."

"I WILL NOT!" Scott roared at him so loud it made Todd make a squeaking sound and jumped on the ceiling.

"Let's settle down and check out the situation," Xavier made his way to the monitor. "What in the world…?"

"This is Trish Tilby reporting!" The harried reporter shouted. "It appears that downtown Bayville has been invaded by strange lizard like mutants in some kind of flying saucers. They have an army of…metal Santas?"

"Out of my way hu-man!" The Snark Commander shoved her out of the way. "People of Earth! We are not mutants! We are Snarks from a galaxy far far away…You with the camera…WHY ARE YOU SNIGGERING?"

"Oh no…" Scott groaned.

"We are using your own fictional creatures against you!" The Snark Commander snarled at the camera. "Your pitiful town will be the first to submit to the Snark Empire! This is the price your precious X-Men must pay for defying us!"

"Here we go…" Hank rolled his eyes.

"Great! An alien invasion! Just what I wanted for Christmas!" Logan threw up his hands.

"And I want a piece of paper and a pencil," Scott groaned as they raced off to prepare for battle. "Because I am definitely going to write down I Will Not Say Things Cannot Get Any Worse a hundred times!"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

It was only supposed to be a quick visit to the Xavier Institute for Nick Fury. That's why he only took his personal hover jet instead of a full compliment of helicopters.

Needless to say being shot at by mechanical Santas riding sleighs and carrying alien lizards was not what he expected.

"This is Nick Fury calling SHEILD…" Nick began to transmit. "I need all available squads…"

BOOM!

BOOM!

"I'm hit! I'm hit!" Fury shouted.

"HO HO HO…" The metal Santa laughed.

"OH SHUT UP!" Fury managed to blast the machine with his own ship's lasers.

Miraculously Fury managed to make it to the lawn of the Xavier Institute. Forge and Doug pulled him out of his craft.

"Are you all right sir?" Doug asked.

"Oh yeah, just peachy. Shot down by a Santa…" Fury groaned. "I'll never hear the end of this."

"Don't worry, Fury," Forge reformed his arm into a mechanical tool. "I think we can patch that up right away." He whistled sharply.

Trinity and Spyder ran up with tools. "OUTTA THE WAY! PIT CREW! PIT CREW!" They shouted as they went to work immediately on the craft.

"So what the hell are the Snarks doing in Bayville?" Fury looked at the sky. He saw the strange aircraft being attacked by several flying Misfits and X-Men. "I thought they were the Power Pack's enemy?"

"They are? Wait, you know about the Snarks?" Forge blinked.

"We know a lot about aliens," Fury snorted. "We've been covering them up since the Fifties."

"I thought that whole Roswell thing was in the 40's?" Doug asked.

"It was," Fury explained. "That was actually one of ours. It was the early years of SHIELD and one of the pilots was drunk and…WHY AM I TELLING YOU THIS?"

"Because I asked?" Doug said weakly.

"Well here's another question for you," Fury blinked. "Does this have anything to do with that device the Thieves' Guild stole?"

"Hey! Beast was right," Brittany piped up. "He was coming about that and not the other stuff."

"WHAT OTHER STUFF?" Fury snapped. "WHAT HAVE YOU MANIACS DONE THIS TIME?"

"Well…" Doug gulped. "Do you really want to know?"

"No I guess not," Fury sighed. "I think I'm better off with blissful ignorance."

"All done!" Daria said as they finished.

"That was fast," Fury blinked. "Well I'd better help shut down this Futurama rip off…"

Suddenly two figures knocked him down and jumped into the hover jet. "Whoa! Sweet ride!" Daisy Mae shouted.

"Thanks for the lift pal!" Aunt Hope waved and started to push the buttons.

"WHAT THE…?" Fury shouted as he saw the two women take off in his vehicle. "COME BACK HERE YOU…."

He stopped and blinked as they flew away. "Wait a minute…Who were they?"

"Who were who?" Forge blinked.

"The women who stole my hover jet!" Fury shouted.

"Snark Agents?" Brittany suggested.

"SNARK AGENTS MY AAAAAAAAA…." Fury fumed as he cut himself off mid swear. "That was Blob's grandmother wasn't it? And the other one was…THE BLACK MANTIS? SHE'S ALIVE?"

"Not important right now," Quinn tugged at his sleeve.

"DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT'S NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW YOU LITTLE…" Fury began.

Then he saw a flaming Santa headed for them. "Okay, not important! RUN!" They barely got out of the way before it landed and exploded.

KABOOOM!

"I am beginning to hate this place…" Fury grumbled.

Meanwhile the fight against the Snarks was going quite well for the mutants. Despite the destruction they caused. And the big fires. And a few giant holes in the streets. And no civilians were getting hurt.

"AAAHHHHHHH!" Mayor Chandler screamed as a metallic Santa chased him in his spaceship like sleigh.

Well most of them.

ZZZZAAAPPPP!

Scott's optic blast knocked it out of the air. "There goes another one!" He shouted.

"Shooting Santas out of the sky," Kurt moaned. "Another holiday tradition!"

"BLAST THEM! BLAST THEM!" The Snark Commander tried to direct his troops but the irate mutants and GI JOE forces were easily blasting them. "NO! NO! NO! WATCH OUT! ON YOUR LEFT! YOUR LEFT! NO YOU FOOL YOUR OTHER LEFT!"

"Sir," Skratt said. "We're running out of fuel! If we don't leave now we'll never make it back to the ship!"

"HOW CAN WE BE OUT OF FUEL?" The Snark Commander snapped. "What we forgot to finish fueling up the ships?"

"Well…" Skratt gulped.

"NEVER MIND!" The Snark Commander snarled as he grabbed Skratt and headed for his ship.

"They're leaving!" Tabitha shouted as she made a huge energy bomb and gave it to Peter. He tossed it and blew up another Santa.

"That's because there's not much left to blow up…" Peter grumbled as he looked at all the destruction. "We will get blamed for this I know it…"

"Great now the air force shows up," Low Light mocked as the armed forces finally arrived to chase off the Snarks.

"And we heard them exclaim as they flew out of sight…" Fred snickered.

"WE'LL GET YOU YET MUTANTS!" The Snark Commander screamed as they retreated. "THE SNARKS HAVE ONLY JUST BEGUN TO FIGHT!"

Coming up, the less than exciting conclusion of this fic. Well it's kind of hard to top an alien invasion of Santas….