I should probably go turn off the radio. Oh, it's already off. What? Oh. Awww. James looks like a sweet baby when he sleeps, his hair all messy like that. I should find a blanket to put over him, but he sleeps so lightly, and I can't bear to wake him.
Petunia. Petunia always slept lightly. She'd be so angry with me if I climbed down from the top bunk to go to the bathroom, and wouldblock the ladder so I'd have to stand on the cold floor. Petunia was always angry with me. When I was little, I tried to be quiet and sweet and perfect, so she'd like me. Now… She's still not returning my calls.
Damn it, Petunia. Damn you. Stupid, blurry… where are my reading glasses? Okay. Glasses. Slippers. Tissue. Calm down, Lily. Calm. In, out. In, out. Couch. Petunia is being unreasonable.
It's just your wedding and I don't even care anyway!
We might all die tomorrow.
No. I refuse to drive myself insane with this any more. I need to talk to Petunia. Okay. Laptop. Damn this thing's slow. E-mail… e-mail, e-mail, e-mail… here we go. Ooh, something from Jennifer. No, come on, focus. Petunia. I have about an hour before James will wake up, probably. Hopefully. He never does sleep well, especially not on the sofa.
Then again, none of us are sleeping well these days. The anticipation, the fear, it sits in the stomach. I can feel is clunking in there. Oh. My fingers are shaking.
At night, like this, it clunks the most. It's okay, it's just fear.
What's that in the corner? Shadow. Moonlight. My hearts pounding in my ears. Small sounds, only. Just Mitten, or Shamsam. The cats like to prowl around, it's nothing. No one's in the house. It's nothing. Maybe a rat.
What's that? A burst of adrenaline. Lamp! Where's the lamp?
Light. God, Lily. Shouldn't wake James. Breathe, Lily. Stupid. It's nothing. Probably just a rat in the walls. But I keep seeing things out of the corners of my eyes.