That's A Wrap Folks

A few hours after the invasion…

"Three houses burned to the ground, several streets wrecked, dozens of police cars with laser holes in them…" Mayor Chandler was reading a list to Xavier. "And a big huge hole in my window where some fruitcake was flung through my window! How do you explain to your insurance agent that your house was wrecked by fruitcake from outer space!"

"Uh…" Xavier decided to keep silent on this issue. "At least no one was seriously injured."

"Xavier…Remember last year? When I asked what you would do next?" Mayor Chandler glared at the telepath. "Remember what I said, about the aliens invading?"

"Apparently we did," Todd remarked. The Misfits and X-men had gathered around the living room which the mayor was having his latest tirade against the X-Men.

"IT WAS NOT A SUGGESTION!" Mayor Chandler screamed.

"Look at the bright side," Bobby said. "Think of the tourist industry you can get from this. I mean, look at Roswell. They made a lot of money over the fake aliens! We've got the real thing right here!"

"Oh yes," Mayor Chandler said sarcastically. "Just what this town needs. MORE WEIRDOES!"

"Xavier!" Fury stormed in. "We need to talk!"

"It's starting already…" Mayor Chandler groaned. "Who are you?"

"Nick Fury, head of SHEILD," Fury growled. "Xavier, I've got a bone to pick with you!"

"Take a number!" Mayor Chandler snapped. "I got here first!"

"Mayor Chandler you cannot blame mutants for an alien invasion," Xavier sighed.

"I'm not so sure," Fury folded his arms. "You guys did take that device from SHEILD which was of an alien origin."

"WHAT?" Mayor Chandler snapped. "I KNEW IT! YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS!"

"Mayor, if you don't mind," Fury sighed. "We're getting into some sensitive information here…"

"Sensitive? You want to talk about sensitive?" Mayor Chandler got in Fury's face. "Do you know where I was when that fruitcake came crashing through? It wasn't my living room pal! I was already trying to calm my ulcer down from all the insanity and craziness these maniacs cause and…"

"Mayor!" Fury snapped. "Unless you want me to disclose some other sensitive information, such as exactly why you put your mistress on the city's civil retirement plan…"

"Oh dear look at the time," Mayor Chandler made a show of looking at his watch. "Look Xavier, expect to hear from my lawyer about this! I'm going to sue you!"

"Aren't you already suing us?" Tabitha asked.

"Oh yeah," Mayor Chandler said. "Well add this to the list!" He stormed out.

"Thanks a lot Tabitha…" Scott groaned.

"What? He would have remembered anyway," Tabitha explained.

"We really should be thanking Fury here," Rogue pointed out.

"I didn't do that for you," Fury growled. "Quite frankly that guy just annoys me."

"He annoys everyone," Remy smirked.

"Yes but not as much as you morons! Thanks to you, the world now knows the existence of aliens from other planets!" Fury threw up his hands.

"Well it's not like we asked them to invade!" Rogue snapped.

"You practically sent them an invitation when you were fooling around with that device we confiscated a while back," Fury snapped. "Now that there's concrete evidence of life on other planets, the whole world is being thrown into panic again. Theologians are already arguing over this. Gun sales are up. George Lucas has finally decided to release the Star Wars Holiday Special to DVD! It's insane out there! And that's just the tip of the iceberg!"

Fury's cell phone rang. "Hold on. Fury here," He took the call. "WHAT? THEY WHAT? WHERE ARE THEY NOW? YOU'RE KIDDING ME? OF ALL THE STUPID…AAAHHHH! HOLD ON! I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!" He shut off the phone.

"Trouble at home?" Fred asked innocently.

"Your Aunt Hope and your Grandmother have just staged a prison break at SHIELD!" Fury screamed at Jubilee and Fred. "They got Hope's boyfriend out and took off in a SHEILD stealth helicarrier! They could be anywhere!"

"Wow! How romantic!" Fred said happily.

"Oh yeah, delightful!" Fury shouted. "I know they were hiding out here! Don't deny it! That's it! I am going to throw the book at all of you!"

"Hold on Fury," Logan held up his hand. "We're not exactly the only ones here who have bent a few rules. What about the Widow huh? You didn't mind breaking a few rules to help her defect."

"Defect, to our side!" Fury shouted.

"Look we didn't know that the Black Mantis was alive until a few hours ago," Logan growled. "And Daisy Mae was a surprise too. It's not like we hid them for sixteen years unlike a certain head of SHEILD with a few other criminals!"

"This is not about me Logan," Fury growled.

"It will be if you push it," Logan snapped. "Or have you forgotten why I left all those years ago? I wonder how the Pentagon would react if they found out what really happened on certain missions? Including…"

"Don't bring that up!" Fury snarled. "Neither of us had a choice and you know it!"

"Maybe," Logan said. "But it still wouldn't go down well with the folks in charge."

"I got word from General Hawk," Roadblock said. "The Pentagon is in a bit of a squawk. But with us taking care of the Snarks on TV, folks are a little less uneasy."

Fury stood there a moment. "Fine. But I would start watching my steps very carefully from now on. Just return the device and I'll leave."

"Here you go," Todd dug it out of his pocket.

"You gave it back to him?" Scott was surprised.

"Well considering all the parts were…" Forge began. Lance elbowed him in the stomach. "OOF!"

"Parts were what?" Fury asked.

"Nothing," Todd said. "Shake it. They're still in there. Thousands of tiny little microchips and..."

"I'll take your word for it," Fury took it from Todd. "I don't know what you wanted this thing for Xavier…"

"He didn't," Remy said. "My old man was trying to sell it off to him."

"Figures," Fury grunted. "That's coming out of his salary." He stormed off.

"Phew…" Kurt let out a deep breath. "That was close."

"Your family stole that device also in case something like this happened didn't they?" Althea asked Remy.

"A common misdirection technique," Remy admitted. "Why look for something copied when something is obviously stolen? Remy just glad the thing was fixed."

"No it wasn't," Forge coughed. "Some of those pieces are still in my lab."

"What?" Scott asked. "But how…"

"I kind of switched the contents a little," Todd coughed. "To make the box seem full. It worked! I mean I packed them in solid."

"Switched them?" Jean looked at Todd. "With what?"

"Packed what in solid?" Logan asked.

"Well…" Todd gulped. "Jean, remember when you were wondering what to do with your evil dead grandmother's ashes? Well…"

"Never mind!" Jean held up her hands. "Never mind! Some holiday this has been!"

"Some year this has been," Rogue sighed.

"Well let's review our accomplishments for the year 2005," Hank sighed. "Ticked off SHEILD twice, got into fights with aliens and indirectly revealed their existence, destroyed the Hellfire Club's secret inner sanctum…"

"Finally got Evan in trouble with the law," Pietro added.

"Fought off Sentinels," Hank continued counting them off on his fingers. "Destroyed Neverland, prevented a nuclear meltdown, resealed up the Shadow King in his dimensional prison, prevented the Reverend Stryker from escaping jail…"

"Getting Evan in trouble with the law," Pietro added.

"Met my daughter from an alternate timeline and prevented her from going insane," Scott went on. "Had our Thanksgiving wrecked by Cobra Bats, the Institute got invaded by everyone from Acolytes to the Juggernaut to ancient gods to snobby stars…"

"Imaginary enemies," Lance piped up.

"Don't forget the irradiated emus," Todd added. "And mutant seagulls!"

"How could anyone forget the irradiated emus and the mutant seagulls?" Kitty groaned.

"Especially the mutated seagulls," Logan added. "It took seven weeks for us to get the smell out!"

"And we got Evan in trouble with the law by framing the Hellions for a prank you X-Men pulled on Bayville High," Pietro added. "So we got him twice this year!"

"You keep saying that," Scott glared at him.

"Well it's my favorite," Pietro shrugged. "Wrecked Duncan Matthew's wedding…"

"When?" Jean gasped.

"Just now in Atlantic City," Peter explained.

"I thought it was Vegas you got quickie marriages in?" Kitty thought aloud.

"It is, but apparently Duncan didn't know that," Peter said. "He also didn't know my sister and the demons would show up."

"You're kidding?" Jean was shocked.

"I have the videotape she made," Peter admitted.

"Oh I have got to see this!" Jean started to laugh.

"To continue," Hank sighed. "We got banned from the park and a few other establishments, Forge's inventions drove us insane…"

"Started a riot on live television," Xavier gave him a look.

"Destroyed one of the Bio Pulses out there," Kurt decided to try and lighten the mood.

"Wrecked Duncan Matthew's marriage," Jean spoke up. "Well that's my favorite!"

"Jean went to a new university and made some new friends…" Xavier said.

"You mean the vampires Jean and I met that wanted us for dinner?" Scott asked.

"Or my professors that turned out to be Sinister and the Lizard?" Jean asked.

"Well…" Xavier blinked. "What about your lab partner Peter Parker that you've told us about? He sounds normal."

"Yeah I guess," Jean shrugged. "The only normal thing that's happened to us this year."

"Especially with you know…" Todd began. "That whole Phoenix thingy."

"Well at least Jean finally has a code name," Tabitha shrugged.

"There is no way we are calling Jean Phoenix," Scott told her.

"Actually…" Jean began. "I've been thinking and I kind of like it."

"What are you nuts?" Wanda blinked. "And that's me saying that!"

"Look this thing is a part of me now," Jean held up her hands. "Like it or not I have to accept that. Besides you've all been complaining on how I don't have a code name for years and I'm getting pretty sick of it."

"So…Phoenix it is," Logan shrugged. "Only took you how many years to come up with it?"

"Great, Jean has a code name," Kurt said.

"MEOWWWWWWWWW!" Prometheus shot past them.

CRASH!

SHATTER!

SMASH!

"As well as an insane cat…" Rogue blinked.

"Well," Hank blinked. "We've had a busy year."

"And something tells me it's going to get even busier in 2006," Scott groaned.

Suddenly a maniacal laugh could be heard. "What the hell is that?" Logan asked.

"HA! HA! I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT OH LORD! I WILL DO YOUR WILL!"

"Who is that?" Pietro asked.

"Mr. Pendergrass!" Jean said. "I'd forgotten all about him!"

"Well an alien invasion would kind of push all other things out of your brain," Fred remarked. "Things like that happen to me a lot."

"That does explain a lot," Pietro said.

Mr. Pendergrass ran by the door, wearing nothing but a hospital gown and stocking feet in stirrups. "I SHALL DO IT OH LORD! I WILL DO IT!"

"Do what Mr. Pendergrass?" Jean gulped.

"Do what the Lord has guided me to do!" Mr. Pendergrass was quite giddy. "Work with the mutants! God's wayward, sometimes violent children! And like all children they need love and care and guidance…and maybe a few anger management courses…"

"O-kay," Rogue blinked. She turned around. "Kitty what exactly did you put in those cookies?"

"I saw the light! As soon as I opened my eyes an Angel of the Lord was beside me!" Mr. Pendergrass raised his arms.

"Oh yeah…" Logan winced. "Wings still has that hangover…"

"I SHALL HELP MUTANTS! THAT IS MY LIFE'S PURPOSE! WHOOPIEEEEEEE!" He ran off down the hall.

"Okay who's turn is it to catch the crazy guy?" Logan sighed.

"Mine…" Hank sighed as he went off to get Mr. Pendergrass.

"Well…" Jubilee blinked. "At least we made a new friend. You know, an ally for mutantkind and all that junk?"

"Notice how all our allies are either crazy or criminals?" Scott sighed. He looked at the Misfits. "Or both?"

"That could be part of the problem," Kurt remarked.

"No, ya think?" Bobby said sarcastically.

"Well here's to the holidays," Logan groaned as he pulled out a flask from his hip pocket. "And a wonderful New Year. And this is the stuff that will get us through it!"

Happy New Year everyone! Expect a few weird things and some changes. What else is new?