Chapter 9
Clark was relieved to know that her reluctance had nothing to do with his secret. His relationship with Lana was extremely complicated. There was a definite attraction and love, but Clark didn't think that he would ever be able to tell Lana the truth about himself. He still felt responsible for the death of her parents and he wasn't sure if Lana would forgive him if she knew. What kind of relationship would that be? Certainly nothing like what his parents have. He was tired of the secrets and lies and even though he felt like he did about Lana, he knew he could never give her the one thing that she craved, the truth. He heard Chloe sniffle. Clark tightened his hold on her and rocked her slightly. "Chloe…" she tightened her grip on his waist. She wasn't ready to talk yet. It was a good thing that it was a Saturday. That way they wouldn't be disturbed at the Torch.
Clark picked up his thoughts where he left off. His relationship with Lana was doomed to fail. Chloe was another matter. They had been through countless ups and downs and still remained best friends. They had even tried the romance thing once before without success and worked back to restore their friendship. Now that Chloe knew his secret, he felt differently about her. Kind of how he felt about Alicia. His attraction to Alicia was more about being able to share with her part of his secret than her being beautiful. Her knowledge about him had brought him close to her. He could be himself and not worry about what she was going to guess about him. His choice to let her believe that his abilities came with the meteor shower was easier to do than tell her who he really was. Alicia had thought he was like her. He had just left it at that.
Clark already had a relationship with Chloe and not because she knew about his secret, but in spite of it. He wasn't sure what he was feeling for Chloe right now, but whatever it was, it felt good. Chloe stirred in his arms. Clark eased his grip on her. She straightened up and looked at him. Her faced was drenched with tears. Clark's heart stirred. "Chloe, don't cry." He reached out to wipe her tears from her cheek.
Chloe laughed nervously. "I'm sorry, Clark. I didn't mean to get all emotional on you." She took a step away from him. Chloe was totally embarrassed. She hadn't meant to reveal what she was feeling, but to only brush last night under the carpet. She couldn't believe that she had let her emotions get the better of her. When she tried to step further away from Clark, he grabbed her hand and held her there. Chloe looked down at their joined hands, then shifted her gaze back up to Clark. Chloe opened her mouth to say something, but Clark cut in.
"Look, Chloe. We really need to talk about this. I'm not going to tell you that I don't still love Lana," Chloe's eyes welled up with tears again, "but that relationship is never going to go anywhere." Clark almost stopped when he saw how much what he was saying hurt Chloe, but he had to continue in order to make her understand. He couldn't leave it without explaining what he was feeling about her. "I realize that now. There has to be truth and honesty in a relationship and that is not something Lana and I will ever be able to have." Clark never broke eye contact with Chloe.
Chloe frowned. "Clark, I don't understand why you haven't already told her about your secret if you love her so much. Knowing Lana like I do, I think she would be okay with it. Maybe a little freaked out at first, but if she loves you, she would accept you as you are." Chloe couldn't believe that she was encouraging Clark to go for Lana. Her heart was breaking, but she knew that Clark needed his best friend more now than ever.
Clark let out a deep sigh. "Chloe.." he paused. Another sigh escaped him. "Chloe, listen. I can't tell Lana about me. I feel responsible for the death of her parents and I can't take the chance she would never forgive me for my part in that."
"Clark!" Chloe was exasperated. Sometimes he could be so dense. "You were a child coming in a space ship. You didn't cause the meteor shower. How could Lana hold you responsible for the death of her parents?"
Clark was looking down at the floor. "Look Chloe, this is not where I wanted to go with this conversation. I don't want to talk about Lana right now. I want to talk about you…..and me."
Chloe roughly pulled her hand out of Clark's and walked to the other side of the room. Clark watched her closely. "I don't know that I can do that knowing the way that you feel about Lana." Chloe pushed her hands through her hair. She looked at Clark over her shoulder. Chloe was surprised to see him looking a little angry. Chloe threw up her hands and turned around to face Clark. Now, she was angry! Chloe stormed over to Clark, "What? Why are you looking at me like that? Like I have done something to make you angry. Clark, I….I…"
Clark grabbed Chloe's waist and pulled her into him. "You have." He raised his eyebrows at her. Chloe placed her hands flat on his chest to keep him at arms length.
"I have, huh?" She was looking a little flustered. She pulled in a deep breath through her nose. "So, Clark Kent, what have I done to make you angry." She couldn't believe it. Clark went from scowling to smiling in an instant.