Ch 2: The Plot Continues…to be Destroyed

"So what skills do you possess besides the obvious cooking, cleaning, and mending?" asked The Queen Mother of Elaine.

Elaine was sitting rather unhappily in the sitting room of the queen's chambers dressed in an elaborate gold gown made of finely spun straw gold. She was constantly in the presence of somebody and being asked a million questions always about her "tragic past" or about her "bright future." After five cups of tea and an endless conversation on dress fabric, Elaine felt a very strong familiar pressing on her bladder. Finally, she had an excuse to leave this irritating woman's presence.

"Excuse me, but I have to pee," Elaine said in her most polite and charming princess tone as she rose to leave.

"No you don't. Sit back down," ordered the queen.

"What!" exclaimed Elaine.

"Princesses never pee," said the queen matter-of-factly as she took another sip of tea.

"What are you talking about! It's a natural body function! You've had way more tea to drink than me; you can't possibly tell me that you don't have to pee!"

"Royalty is constantly under scrutiny, and as we are seen to be above everyone else, we must not be openly seen or saying anything that would shatter that image. Peeing, or using the restroom to put it in less crude terms, is an action that would ruin that image. We can't let the populace know that we are subject to some of the same crude activities they are. As for myself, I was well educated in my youth, and have learned to 'hold it'—to put it bluntly—until I am in private."

"But what if you really have to go to the extent at which you can't hold it and your bladder is about to explode?"

"Then you say that you are feeling indisposed and must retire for a period of time. Princesses are supposed to have delicate health conditions that must be highly maintained. Therefore everyone will believe that you are not feeling well and will retire themselves from your company as to allow you to recover; then you may give in to your bodily functions."

"Well then I'm feeling very much indisposed, and I'm going to retire from your Highness's company in about two point five seconds because I really have to pee," said Elaine as she rose gracefully and walked out the room in the most princess-like fashion. Once out she ran for the nearest bathroom. While peeing she mulled over the events of the past two days, and when she finished she had decided that there was no chance of happily ever after in this castle—at least not for her—and that since there was no chance of that happening, she had to develop a plan for escape.

Having relieved her overfull bladder of its contents, Elaine, frustrated, paced about her quarters. What was she going to do? The wedding was to take place on Saturday, and it was already Thursday! She couldn't flee the palace as the Queen and Prince had her guarded closely—to insure against kidnapping and assassination attempts they said. Elaine wasn't stupid; it was to ensure that the royal family wasn't made a fool of. If running away wasn't going to work, there was always suicide; still death, no matter how tragic, glorious, and over romanticized, didn't seem like a good option at all. If only she had magic or at least possessed some magical object, like a ring.

Suddenly the obvious solution dawned on Elaine. She had a fairy godmother, and it was her fairy godmother's responsibility to aid her in any way she was able to ensure that she (Elaine) would live happily ever after. "Now am I supposed to do this?" wondered Elaine. Was there some proper format to summoning one's fairy godmother? "Forget propriety."

"Oh Fairy Godmother," she called. "That seems kind of bad to call her just that," Elaine thought as she waited for her fairy godmother to appear. "She must have a name. I'll be sure to ask her that when she gets here." Swirls of brightly colored smoke and sparkles announced the arrival of her fairy godmother.

"Elaine, darling! How are you? I haven't seen you since your christening," exclaimed the fairy godmother in an overly cheery tone once most the smoke had cleared.

"Drop the niceties. I know you know why I called you; Ella is supposed to be here, not me," Elaine snapped. "And shouldn't you have been here sooner? You're supposed to know when I'm need, and if I don't call, you're automatically supposed to appear!"

"Well there's no need to be hostile," the fairy snapped back. "Don't talk to me about what I'm 'supposed to do!' So what, you're 'supposed to' want have the prince find you, fit the shoe, and marry him, but you don't now do you! Hmph!"

"Sorry," replied Elaine subdued.

"I've been running ragged trying to fill in for some of the fairy godmothers on strike in the kingdom of Faregood—they're fighting for a union you know. Your situation wasn't that dire compared to some others, like Ella, so I let it slide for a bit. However, the situation is close to broaching the point of getting out of hand, therefore…"

"Really because I thought it was long past 'getting out of hand' since the first day I was here which was oh, two weeks ago," said Elaine dryly, cutting her godmother off. "I'm lucky the royals decided to hold off the wedding for a couple of weeks; they hope to give me time to warm up to the prince. The idea of why I would not want to marry a perfect stranger much less one who's a prince is unfathomable to them. They keep telling people that the delay is due to the fact that they need more time to plan a proper royal wedding. These people could throw seven royal weddings in the course of a day! And…"

"You know it's rude to cut your godmother off, not to mention your fairy godmother."

"What is your name by the way? It's weird having to call you 'fairy godmother' the time not to mention tiring," Elaine butt in again.

Her fairy godmother sighed. "It's Cecilia, and I assure you this situation is in the process of being remedied. If you can just keep your mouth shut so that I can explain…"

"You know it's lucky that…" Elaine's mouth continued to move up and down until she realized that sound was no longer coming out of it.

Cecilia smirked. "Much better. You're so much more charming when you don't talk."

Elaine glared at her godmother. "Now," continued the fairy, "Ella is on her way here, and soon this whole mess will be straightened out."

"You know, Aunt Cecilia, this whole internship thing isn't working out for me," spoke a voice from behind a dark cloud of smoke that had just appeared. Cecilia turned to face her newly arrive niece.

"Brianna, now is not the time to discuss this. Did you do what I asked?"

"Obviously, since she's standing right here next to me. When is the time? It seems that you nor mother nor anyone else has the time to hear me out! Also, try to remember to use my middle name; I rarely respond to my first anymore."

"Raven is so commonplace though, whereas Brianna…"

"Raven is more appropriate for an evil sorceress though."

"I simply don't understand this fascination with the forces of evil. You come from a long line of highly respected and very good fairy godmothers. Not a single wicked fairy in the history of our family. There's also no history on your father's side either as far as I know, so…"

"I can't help what I like and excel at, and every family has a black sheep. I guess I'm just the first in this family. Besides, I want, no, am going to be an evil sorceress—that's not the same as a wicked fairy."

"Excuse me, do I exist at all, or should I just stand here and wait for my prince who's never going to come because my cousin stole him from me!" said the beautiful blonde girl, who, covered in cinders and dressed in rags, was obviously Elaine's cousin, Ella, sharply. Elaine was taken aback by the remark and attempted to make some rude comments of her own. However, she could only mouth what she wanted to say as her powers of speech had not yet been returned to her by Cecilia.

Naturally, Ella thought she was being mocked, and that served to make her angrier. "How dare you mock me! You overly drunken, tramp!" Elaine mouthed back a series of insults which further infuriated Ella. She raised her hand, ready to slap Elaine.

Taking note of the circumstances, Cecilia left off in her argument with her niece to intervene.

"Let's not have any nastiness now," she said, taking hold of Ella's hand.

AN: As you can tell, this story is very much along the lines of Patricia Wrede's Enchanted Forest Chronicles. This chapter is not finished, but I'm currently stuck on how to transition intothesection of the plot where I want to be at. Suggestions and constructive criticism are more than welcome.
--Lan