CHAPTER TWO: Can't Change Me

She has the daylight at her command

She gives the night its dreams yeah

She can uncover your darkest fear

Make you forget you feel it

Wait just one minute more

I can see that she's trying to free me

Suddenly I know

She's going to change the world

But she can't change me

- Can't Change Me – Chris Cornell

Aside from Potions, classes were a terrible. Pansy spent half the time trying to keep her eyes open, and the other half trying to keep Draco's open. History of Magic passed in a blur of snores, sleepy eyes, bewildered Ravenclaw's, and Blaise hastily leaving the room to be sick. In Transfiguration Draco's head actually slipped onto Pansy's shoulder and he began snoring, which earned him a detention for the following evening, and 30 deducted points.

By the time Care of Magical Creatures was due to begin, Pansy's bad mood had returned in full force, and she was enormously considering yelling 'goodbye cruel world' and throwing herself into the black lake.

"Tell you what," Draco muttered murderously from beside her as they walked through the ankle deep snow to Hagrid's cabin, "if that bloody Potter does one thing to provoke me, I'm going to hex his ugly head off."

Pansy scowled, "lets hope Granger runs to his rescue. I'd love to get one up on that mudblood."

Draco looked at her, "what happened?"

"Just her and her bloody high and mighty attitude."

Draco raised an eyebrow.

Pansy smiled sheepishly, "I was found by the golden trio smoking at the lake."

"What did you tell them?"

"I told them Dumbledore gave me permission" Pansy replied.

Draco nodded and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, "spoken like a true Slytherin."

"Now gather roun' gather roun'" came a loud booming voice.

Pansy and Draco exchanged a knowing look, and made their way to the back of the class where all the Slytherin's were standing around, whispering with one another. Joining the group, Draco shook hands with several of the guys, and made some rude gestures towards the Griffindor's.

Pansy located Millicent and walked over, "hey" she whispered

"Hey. Crabbe's in the hospital wing" she murmured back.

"Why?" Pansy questioned.

Millicent shrugged, "from what I heard, he apparently vomited all over McGonnagal in the hallway. Of course that could just be a rumour."

Pansy shook her head, "if we're not careful we're all going to get expelled. The teachers aren't stupid; someone's going to start asking questions sooner or later as to why we're always hung over on Monday morning. I mean, the parties are great, but they aren't worth getting expelled for."

"Its not the fact we're having parties" Blaise whispered from beside them, "it's all the illegal substances we have at the parties."

"Illegal parties in the Slytherin dungeons" Pansy said hands stretched in front of her, "I can see it now. Page one, Illegal Slytherin parties conducted under the headmasters nose. Page two, Pansy Parkinson disowned and left on the streets."

Millicent smiled, "don't be melodramatic."

"I can't help it" Pansy replied, "its what I do best."

"Now today," Hagrid's voice cut into their conversation, "we'll start work on our winter project. The Headmaster has divided ya into pairs he feels will suit you all, and you'll be working in those pairs till the end of the semester."

Millicent rolled her eyes, "I swear if I get paired with Longbottom, I'm seriously going to consider killing myself."

"I will kill myself," Pansy whispered back as Hagrid began calling out names.

"Hermione Granger, Blaise Zabini. Gregory Goyle, Ronald Weasley. Dean Thomas, Vincent Crabbe."

Pansy continued, "The lump is so inept he…"

"Pansy Parkinson, Harry Potter," Hagrid called.

"You've got to be kidding me," Pansy moaned.

Millicent laughed, "oh well at least its not Longbottom right? Tough luck Pansy."

"Millicent Bullstrode, Neville Longbottom." Hagrid continued.

The smile fell off Millicent's face.

Pansy grinned, "Sucks to be you."

"Oh shut up," Millicent replied with a frown, "my life is over."

"Draco Malfoy, Lavender Brown"

Pansy's eyes swung to Draco who looked horrified, then across to Lavender who was giggling helplessly with Parvarti. Pansy frowned, "what's with the Griffindor, Slytherin combinations?"

"Its obvious isn't it?" Draco replied who had walked up beside her while glaring at Lavender, "Dumbledore is always going on about inter house relations. I bet this is all some ploy of his to make us all friends. You'd think after ten centuries of similar history, he'd just get the point and realize its never going to happen."

Pansy looked over at Harry Potter who was muttering angrily with his friends, "Mill, I think I'll be joining you in suicide tonight."

Millicent frowned, "who ever said I was waiting till tonight?"

"No ones going to kill themselves," Blaise put in sternly.

"Its all right for you!" Millicent snarled, "you're paired with Granger, at least she has some brains in her head."

"Now find your partners, come on then, don't be scared," Hagrid's voice boomed through their conversation.

Pansy crossed her arms; Potter could come to her, because she certainly wasn't moving. However everyone else seemed to have the same idea, as they glared at their partner from across the grounds. Finally it was Potter who sighed, and with a look at Hagrid, began to walk towards Pansy. Everyone else seemed to get the same idea and hesitantly walked to stand next to their partners.

"Parkinson" Potter greeted coldly as he reached her.

Pansy glared at him, "Potter" she spat.

"Now then" Hagrid said with a proud smile, "isn't this nice."

Pansy looked around. Her classmates didn't look anything less than horrified about the arrangement of partners. Everyone was standing in a defiant pose alternating between glaring at each other and glaring at Hagrid. Some students were even throwing haughty looks up at the headmaster's office. Draco looked particularly horrified as Lavender tossed him a flirty look. Pansy stifled her giggles, the poor girl could continue dreaming, Draco would never sleep with someone like her.

"Now, the reason Dumbledore has chosen these pairs is…"

Pansy sighed and droned him out. Paired with Potter. Could her day get any worse? She hoped he was listening because she certainly wasn't. He was looking at Hagrid intently, hands shoved deep into his pockets, so she assumed he was.

"…into the Forbidden forest"

Pansy snapped her attention back to Hagrid.

"Now your task is to write up a report on the creatures habits. How they eat, sleep, interact. But be warned, not all creatures appreciate humans in their midst, and that's where research comes in. Make sure you chose an animal that will not harm you."

Pansy blinked in confusion, forest, creatures, what?

"The assignment will last until the holidays, and will be presented to the class." Hagrid continued, "any questions?"

"You're sending us into the forest?" Draco asked in a loud disgusted voice, "to study some horrific creature, that will probably kill us as soon as it sees us?"

"Shut up Malfoy" Granger retaliated, "it wont kill you if you research it properly."

Draco huffed and mumbled something about his father.

"Any other questions?" Hagrid pressed.

The class was silent.

"Good, now spread out and work out a time to get together each week" Hagrid suggested, clearly delighted with the idea, "I've also put together a little series of questions for you to ask each other. A little get to know you. Pass them around."

Pansy took the list of questions Blaise handed her and trailed her eyes over the parchment.

Question One: What is your favorite magical creature?

Question Two: What do you think of Flobber Worms?'

Question Three: Given the choice between…

Pansy snorted in disgust and shoved the list into Potter's hands, "what a waste of time." Turning on her heel Pansy stalked off towards the forest, calling over her shoulder, "come on then Potter I don't have all day."

In the shade of the trees, and out of sight of the class, Pansy dug through her pockets and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it up, she sat down on a near by rock, and watched Potter carefully as he sat down a few feet away from her.

"Do you want one?" Pansy offered, not out of politeness but spite.

Potter glared at her, "no I don't."

Pansy shrugged, and deposited her book bag on the ground beside her, "so," she began politely, "tell me about your sex life."

Potter's eyes widened in shock, "what?"

"Well I'm not going to sit here for the next half hour and talk about monsters am I?" Pansy replied, "its not often I sit and talk to the enemy, so we may as well make the conversation memorable."

Potter crossed his arms; "I'm not discussing my sex life with you Parkinson."

"Well what would you prefer to discuss? Masturbation?"

Potter sputtered.

Pansy grinned evilly, "I mean, its not a big deal" she continued watched Potter's face flush, "everyone does it, I remember when I…"

"Bloody hell" Potter burst out suddenly, "I'm not having this conversation with you. Do you have no pride?"

"When it comes to sex, I'm as open as a book. Get used to it." Pansy shrugged, "well what do you want to talk about then?"

Potter glared at her, "I don't want to talk to you at all."

Pansy shrugged, "alright then."

Potter seemed taken a back by her reply. What did he expect? Her to argue about how they should become best friends and have tea parties every Sunday? Besides if she knew his type at all, she knew he'd break the silence once he realized he was being childish.

What did they call that? Uh, yes a conscience.

She was right, after several long moments of silence, Potter sighed heavily and shrugged, "how long have you been smoking for?"

Pansy raised an eyebrow, "are you actually inquiring about my life Potter?"

"I'm making conversation."

"Since the beginning of the year."

"Why did you start?"

"I was at a party, and it looked like fun."

"A muggle party?"

Pansy smirked, "would it surprise you if I said yes?"

Potter frowned, "yes it would."

"Just because Draco and his father are completely against muggles, doesn't mean we all are," Pansy replied simply.

"Are your parents…" Potter trailed off.

"Death eaters?" Pansy supplied, "well if they were then I wouldn't tell you, would I?"

"You called Hermione a mudblood," Potter pointed out as if this resolved everything.

"Well, she is a mudblood isn't she?" Pansy replied plainly.

Potter opened his mouth.

"I tell things as I see them, Pansy continued. "I've spent far too much time down in the dungeons to see your dear Granger as anything more or less than what she is. I may not agree with Draco on many things, but I am still a pure blooded witch."

"And you think that makes you superior do you?" Potter demanded.

Pansy rolled her eyes mentally. She should have realized she'd be having the 'mudblood vs pure blood' chat. "Yes I do."

Potter seethed, "well I don't see you up the top of every class!"

Pansy really did roll her eyes this time, "the reason Granger is up the top of every class is because she's a know it all book worm who spends all her time studying. If I studied half as much as she did, then I'd be up the top of classes too. Besides, that's not the point. When I talk about superiority I'm not talking about brains or the ability to memorize a text book."

"Then what are you talking about?" Potter demanded.

"When I say pure blooded witches and wizards are superior I'm talking about blood lines," Pansy explained stubbing out her cigarette and lighting a new one. "When your family can be traced back through the generations until your ancient grandfather was there at the beginning of time. When you can flick through history books and read about the stuff your relatives have done to benefit the growth of the wizarding world. Do you follow me?"

"So just because you relatives all slept with one another…" Harry began.

Pansy grinned and cut in, "I thought we weren't going to talk about sex."

Harry frowned.

Pansy shook her head, "you're missing the point anyways."

"Then explain it to me."

"I'm trying" Pansy replied, "but your morals are getting in the way. Just forget everything for a moment and try to understand where I'm coming from."

Harry sighed and nodded, "I'm listening."

"Ok" Pansy stubbed her cigarette out and focused all her attention on Harry, she didn't know why, but she wanted him to understand, "listen carefully. My ancestors date back to the origins of magic, I grew up with stories of their success and the ways in which they benefited the wizarding world centuries ago. The frameworks they created have been passed through the bloodline for centuries. So, what began as a galleon has grown to a large fortune, what began as a large swamp of land has grown into a large manor, what began as a friendly relationship has grown into the highest connections any wizard could ever hope to obtain," Pansy paused, "are you following?"

"Not really. Get to the point" Harry replied.

"The point is. My family, and many other pure blooded families have been around for generations and because we've been around for generations, we have generations worth of influence in the wizarding world. We hold all the top jobs and know all the right people; we have all the money and all the worthy assets."

Potter was silent.

Pansy sat forward, "it has nothing to do with myself thinking I'm better than Granger. When we graduate, no doubt Granger will be able to do whatever she pleases. It has nothing to do with book smarts or how well you can transfigure your matchstick into a needle."

"Then what does it have to do with?" Potter prompted, despite himself looking intrigued.

"Its not what you know, its who you know" Pansy answered simply.

Potter frowned, "I'm not following."

"C'mon Potter" Pansy replied with a huff, "put two and two together. Take yourself for example, because of who you are and whom you've been introduced to, you will one day be offered top jobs at the ministry. Not because you can recite Hogwarts a History backwards and not because you can transfigure a pig into a chair. But because you are Harry Potter."

"I don't think I'm superior," Potter retaliated.

"Of course you don't" Pansy replied with a wave of her hand, "but that doesn't change the fact that at the end of the day, even though Granger is brilliant, you will be first choice for all the top jobs. Because of who you are, not what you know."

Riiiiiiiiinnnnngggg

Pansy stood up and threw her bag over her shoulder, "and that, Potter, is why pure bloods are superior. Not because we're better but because we have the advantage. See you later Potter."

Authors Note: The title of this chapter comes from a Chris Cornell song on his album Euphoria Morning. For all those who don't know, Chris Cornell is the lead singer from Audioslave. Big thanks to my buddy Yana for introducing the CD to me.

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