Disclaimer: JKR owns all.
Important notes: 1. Some of these scenes are completely made up, some are in the books, and some are in between (hinted at in the books, but never shown). 2. Sentences in italics are Hermione's thoughts while the thing happened. 3. This is a one-shot.
Special thanks to MissNorris for beta-ing this story so very nicely.
Welcome to Hermione's list of the top ten worst things Ron Weasley has done to make me want to sock him to the death. It starts from the least bad, then gradually increasing in horror to the WORST. Please feel free to add comments, make disgusted faces, or cry your eyes out. Thank you!
-
Ten
During the summer after my fourth year, I made the sacrifice of leaving my family early to stay at Sirius' old house, at Number 12 Grimmauld Place, with a bunch of people in the Order of the Phoenix and their children. Ginny was there, but so was Ron, and Harry hadn't arrived yet. Great.
So after a few days of staying there, we realized that since we weren't allowed in on any of the Order's meetings, life at Grimmauld Place was pretty boring. Subsequently, I decided on something that was probably the worst decision of my life: I conjured my television from home. I thought it would be neat to show Ginny what a telly was, maybe watch some soap operas together, but mainly so I could keep up on the muggle news.
Unfortunately, Fred and George caught us watching a soap opera and their eyes became the size of grapefruits as they were hooked onto the telly like zombies. Or Inferi. Whatever. I was surprised at how quickly they changed the channel from BBC News to HollyOaks soap operas.
Later on, Ron found us watching a soap opera, and de wanted to know all about it. Fred and George gave him a quick overview.
"Basically, there's this bloke who was lightly cheating on two girls,"
"And they both found out,"
"But the girls both want the bloke,"
"So he's trying to decide which one he should dump,"
"And which one he should date."
"There's this girl, see," Fred pointed to the screen.
"Who is fairly good-looking, as you can tell,"
"But she's downright snobbish."
"Then there's this girl," George pointed.
"Who's pretty nice but not as pretty as the first."
"Well that's obvious then," said Ron.
I was quite surprised. I didn't think that Ron would find it that easy to pick the less pretty-looking girl. We kept watching until the very end of the programme, which showed the bloke wisely choosing the nicer girl.
"What!" Ron exclaimed. "Why would he pick the troll over her?"
Not only did Ginny and I shoot him death glares, but George called him a shallow git and Fred socked him in the thigh. I sent the telly back home the day before Harry arrived. We didn't bother filling him in.
…
Aren't you going to gawk and say, "WHAT! RON SAID THAT?"
…
Okay, so maybe what he said wasn't that bad, but this is only number ten. It gets worse and worse as it goes.
-
Nine
During the summer after my fourth year, I was chatting with Ginny about boys. She told me about Dean and Neville and Harry, then asked about my situation with Krum. I told her that he invited me to stay with him over the summer, but I told him no, because I didn't know him well enough.
"He said he understood," I told Ginny. "And the next day he sent me these beautiful flowers from a Venomous Tentacula. The flowers aren't venomous, of course, just the plant. You can only imagine how difficult it must have been to get them, though. I mean, Tentaculas are one of the most poisonous plants in the world!"
It was then that I noticed Ron by the doorway.
"Why would Vicky go through that trouble?" he demanded.
Uhh… hello? Isn't it obvious?
"Well, obviously," Ginny said. "He went through so much trouble because he knew Hermione would like that."
"So?"
Oh, so this is how much I matter to Ron. I'm glad to know he cares about me.
Ginny plunged at him and ran him out the door.-
Eight
During my sixth year, Ron started going out with Lavender Brown. What kind of a name is that, anyway? Is it rainbow land or something? Anyway, at one point in time, Lavender was getting pathetically suspicious of Ron spending too much time with me. Yeah, right. One breakfast, she asked Ron if he had kissed me.
"Hermione?" he asked. "Are you kidding?"
Gee, thanks, Ron.
"I thought I saw you two in the same room together – alone," Lavender whined pitifully. Wait, scratch that, I don't pity her.
"What! I wouldn't be caught dead alone in the same building as her!"
Ron turned around when he heard me punch the table. By the stupid look on his face I knew he didn't know I was there. But still. Behind my back or in front of my face, he had gone way too far. I didn't talk to him forweek.
-
Seven
In my first year, when I was just a fragile little girl, Ron did something terrible.
I was walking back from class alone, when I caught sight of Ron's red hair. I could just barely make out what he was saying.
"It's no wonder no one can stand her. She's a nightmare, honestly."
I shuffled past them, trying but failing to hold back my tears. When they thought I was out of earshot, Ron continued.
"She must have noticed she hasn't got any friends."
I didn't know that eleven-year-olds were capable of causing so much misery.
-
Six
In my fifth year, I started a D.A.D.A. club called the D.A. Wow. That sounds rather dim now that I think about it. Anyway, the name might have been dim but the club was really brilliant. Harry did an ace job of teaching everybody the spells, and the only person who didn't progress was Ron (go figure), who I was partnered up with (unfortunately).
Apart from Ron, the D.A. was excellent. That is, until we realized that we couldn't communicate without things getting a bit suspicious. It took a bit of studying, but I finally came up with a brilliant plan to put the Protean Charm on some fake galleons. The charm is quite complex, so I knew I would need some extra tips on how to perform it. Reluctantly, I took Ron's previous advice.
"Professor Flitwick," I said. "I'm studying ahead of time for my N.E.W.Ts and I was wondering if you could help me with the Protean Charm. It seems quite complex."
I practiced the charm for three days in my spare time, and asked Fred and George to supply the fake galleons. They weren't going to do it at first, but I told them it was for the D.A. and they agreed. By the time I got them, I had mastered the spell perfectly.
I was so proud of myself, and I had reason to. I performed a NEWT-level charm! When I announced it at the next D.A. meeting, everyone fell dead silent and a Ravenclaw kindly reminded me how hard of a spell it was. He even suggested that I should be in Ravenclaw, with brains like mine. Ron was obviously jealous.
After the meeting, Harry, Ron and I stayed behind. Harry told me that it reminded him of the Death-Eaters' scars, and I admitted that that was where I got my idea. But it's not like I'm starting a Death-Eater band, or I want Harry to act as You-Know-Who or something. And I'm not engraving the galleons into the students' skin or anything! I just thought it was a good idea.
Harry left the room but Ron held me back.
"I don't know about you, Hermione," he said. "But the rest of us aren't Death-Eaters."
Talk about making me look like a ruddy fool.
-
Five
I have never liked flying on broomsticks. Ever since I read about Quidditch and how dangerous it was, I have never wanted to play. When I found out we were required to take flying lessons in our first year I was dismayed. I ended up nearly failing that class and made a fool out of myself in front of everyone. I didn't have any talent on the Quidditch pitch, and didn't live up to the standards that I had set for myself in the other classes that I was doing so well in. It was pretty horrible.
On many weekends, when we weren't at Hogsmeade, Harry, Ron, Ginny, and some other of their friends would spend some free time playing Quidditch for fun over the grounds. They asked me to play a few times in the past, but I never accepted. I pretended to have homework even though I'd already finished it all.
One Saturday in my fifth year, Fred, George, and Lee Jordan joined Harry, Ron, and Ginny to play three-on-three Quidditch. But when Harry left, they had a hard time playing with equal teams. I gathered up all my Gryffindor bravery and asked Fred and George if I could play. Ron flew up to us before the twins could respond.
"Sorry, Hermione," said Ron, not the least bit sorry. "But know-it-alls aren't allowed to play Quidditch. Why don't you go read a book."
So much for my courage. Nice way to put it to a waste, Ron.
I turned on my heel and walked away, whilst Fred and George told me that Ron was a prat and tried to convince me to play with them, without Ron. They offered to shove Ron's head down a toilet, and I thanked them for it.
-
Four
In the summer before my sixth year, I returned to Grimmauld Place before going to Hogwarts. Fleur Delacour, Bill's new fiancée, was staying there as well. One day, Mrs. Weasley was having everyone clean up some more of the house. Even Fleur. I was working on one bookshelf in the library and Fleur on another shelf. Tonks must have done something clumsy downstairs because the house shook and a few books had fallen off the shelves. Ron came in the room suddenly, and offered to help Fleur put the books back. Fleur kissed him on the cheek and went downstairs for some lunch.
"Ron, will you give me a hand with these books?" I asked him.
"Do it yourself!"
"You helped Fleur!"
"Come on, Miss Wingardium Leviosa, I'm sure you can do it a lot better than I can!"
"Then why help Fleur? Why not have me do it?"
"Because your ego is big enough!"
"Thanks, Ron, that's so nice of you."
"Oh shut up, you're just jealous."
"I am not!"
"You are too! You call me pathetic, but you're the one who narrows your eyes whenever someone interacts with Fleur in some nice way. It must kill you to know that someone can be nice and good-looking. That my brother actually wants to marry her. In case you haven't noticed, she's going to be my sister-in-law, and I don't know how it goes in your family, but in mine, we try to get along with other human beings once in a while!"
I held back my tears until he walked out and slammed the door.
So that's how I am? I'm an antisocial freak who hates the world! I haven't any social skills, have I! I don't get along with anyone!
Am I really like that?
-
Three
The Yule Ball was probably the worst event I have ever attended. And it's all thanks to Ron. I was utterly shocked when Viktor Krum started talking to me in the Hogwarts Library, and I was completely dumbfounded when he asked me to the Ball. But that shock was nothing compared to what came after Ron talked to me in private.
During the Ball, Ron and I got into a fight because he was being stupidly jealous. He accused me of "fraternizing with the enemy" and said a bunch of other rubbish. He didn't want to go too far in front of Harry, however, so he caught me later in the Common Room.
"Hermione, I forbid you to see Krum again."
"Merlin, Ron! You're not my father!"
"Don't you see it, Hermione?"
"See what, Ron? You're being ridiculous."
"Hermione, all that nonsense Krum said, it's all smooth talk to get to Harry. You're only Harry's friend, that's all he sees. He doesn't like you, Hermione. How could he?"
I cried myself to sleep that night. And the night after that.
-
Two
In my sixth year, Ron was very jealous of Harry and I because we were invited to Professor Slughorn's parties, and he wasn't. He was pretty bitter and mean about it, but I felt a twinge of pity. At one party we were allowed to bring someone else along, kind of like a date. One night I swallowed my pride and asked Ron. He was a real git about it, but he agreed
Feeling particularly cheerful the next day, I walked into the common room at there he was - with none other than Lavender Brown. Her tongue was down his throat. He was eating his face. It was the most disgusting songfest in the history of time.
Ron is so pathetic. He doesn't even have the decency of snogging her behind my back. No, he has to do it in full view.
Of course I had to pretend that I didn't care, what with Harry around and all.
Of course I'm glad no one saw me crying as I walked out.
Of course I attacked Ron with homing man-eating birds.
What, you think I was just going to let him get away with that?
It was the first time I was more angry at him than sad for myself.
So for kicks, I asked Cormac McLaggen to the party instead.
But that didn't make up for half the pain Ron put me through, or half the pain I should have put him through.
-
One
In the summer after my sixth year, Ron did the worst.
After all the things he's done to me, after all the pain he's caused me... he told me he loved me.
How can I forgive all of the horrible things he has done? How can I simply forget the pain and love him back?
I cannot. It is impossible.
-
Zero
But, as if reading my mind, he continued.
"I'm not asking you to love me, to forgive me, or even to go out with me. With Voldemort back and all the killings that have been happening, I just thought you might like to know - before it is too late. I love you, Hermione."
Who would have known that his worst move would also be his best?