Teen Titans: Children of a Dynamic God
ch. 5
Some beds have a piece of furniture, not unlike a dresser, that separates them from the wall. This piece of furniture is often called a "headboard", because it sits at the head of the bed. It is not a place to keep your head, or heads.
Unless your new best friend just happens to be a head without a body. In that instance owning a headboard is not only doubly functional but almost poetic.
The first rays of morning light streamed through the cracks in the blinds, traveling over posters of Britney Spears and Jude Law. It glinted off Nike's silver hair. Eyes, half-lidded, fluttered back and forth, up and down in rapid, jerky movements.
The door slid open with a Shooshing noise. Her head hanging low, her body caked with grime and sweat, Starfire stumbled into her room. She let out a soft whimper and flung herself onto her bed.
Nike's eyes opened wide. "Star, oh… don't you want to go take a quick shower? You're getting your sheets filthy."
Starfire groaned and kicked her boots off, then wrapped her sweaty legs around a pillow. "I do not care. I will wash them tomorrow."
"It is tomorrow." Nike said. "I warned you that Robin was going to call a surprise training drill."
"Ooooh, but I could not miss the 'Chaotic' marathon!"
"And I told you I could record it for you! I'm a TiVo too!"
Starfire groaned and writhed around on her bed. Nike grimaced as the sheets turned a darker, muddier shade of hot pink. "I am not worried about that now. I shall sleep for the rest of the day. Ooooh! That Robin can be so… frustrating!"
"What did he do?" Nike tried to make her question sound as innocent as possible. It hadn't taken her long at all to deduce that Robin and Starfire's relationship was almost pitifully sophomoric.
Nike thought, personally, that if you liked someone you should just tell them and let the chips fall where they may. Although she had to admit that she was breaking that rule a little at the moment, but it was a lot tougher to confess your true feelings to someone when you were just a head. When she was a little more… mobile, she told herself, then it would be easier to see if he felt the same way about her that she was beginning to fell about him.
Starfire propped her face up on her pillow. The streaks of dirt, if anything, made her even cuter in some way, Nike thought.
"He was worse than ever today! Never has he made me run the obstacle course so many times in one session!"
"Well, I'm sure he had a reason."
"Hmph! He must think I am getting soft! Or fat!"
Starfire gasped, her eyes wide. "Do you think that is it? Does Robin think I have 'the thunder-thighs'?"
"Um, I'm pretty sure he was just putting you through your paces Star. I wouldn't read too much into it."
"Oh no, it is all so obvious now! He had such a look of disgust on his face when Beast Boy challenged me to that pudding eating contest last week. And also the time I ate all the food at the buffet and made the Chinese people who worked there cry! And when we rescued the cows from the evil tofu and Cyborg dared me to eat one raw!.."
Nike tried not to roll her eyes as Starfire spent the next five minutes confessing several months' worth of gastronomic indiscretions. It wasn't boring at least. She was in the midst of breathlessly describing the "delicious shame of covering one's own body in hot English mustard and then licking oneself clean" when she quite suddenly nodded off.
Nike would have breathed a sigh of relief if she could. She hoped she would have a body soon, as now would be the perfect time to pull the covers over the too-adorable sleeping girl and then hastily retreat before she could wake up and continue her desperate diatribe.
Nike closed her eyes, her consciousness slowly drifting down, down into a realm unknowable to human minds. It would take her some time to again reach the state of quiet light speed contemplation and processing that Starfire had interrupted her from, but it was already happening. Through half-closed eyes she watched as the alien girl's chest rose and fell slower and slower, until it seemed to stop moving altogether. Out of the corner of her eye Nike saw a fly hanging in the air, it's wings moving so slowly that she could make out every detail of the veins in it's membranes.
Nike opened her thoughts to the flow of information gleaned from the Tower's WiFi network. Simultaneously she found her consciousness in a defense satellite in low orbit, in an Asian server network and in a Blackberry stuffed into the back pocket of a middle-aged roofer in Kentucky. Pure data washed over her virtual self warmly from ten billion sources.
Words did not exist to describe how sublime a feeling it was.
"TITANS ASSEMBLE! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!" Robin's voice boomed over the intercom. Nike's eyes shot open. Her brow furrowed in irritation. Was it impossible for a girl to get a few moments to herself around here?
"EMERGENCY SITUATION! TITANS ASSEMBLE! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!" Starfire shot up straight, a look of surprise in her red, bloodshot eyes. She looked at Nike and whimpered.
"Oh Star, it's not so bad. Come on, get up. Oh, don't cry hon. Come one, you can do it. That's right, one boot at a time. You're almost there."
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Jinx tapped her foot and yawned as a screaming throng ran past her and out the door of the department store. A teenaged girl bolted towards her at full bore, too panicked to see where she was going. A flick of Jinx's wrist and the girl tripped over her own feet and went sliding across the floor. The little pink-haired witch didn't even turn around to watch as the girl collided with the edge of the glass door, busting open her scalp. A security guard scooped her bleeding body up and forced his way through the throng.
"They're late." Jinx sneered. "And here I thought the Titans were morning people."
"They'll be here, stick to the plan." Gizmo was sitting cross-legged on the perfume counter, typing furiously into his weird little laptop. "I've been working this out for months now, they'll never see it coming."
"Hey Billy, check out this new TV I found!"
"Sheeeoot! That's a nice one Billy! Hi-Def?"
"Of course! But don't tell Billy, it's a surprise."
"Hey that's right, Billy's birthday is coming up ain't it? I almost forgot!"
"Yeah, let's get all our shopping done today! You think Billy'll like these designer watches?"
"Heck yeah, and if he don't I'll take 'em!"
"Knock it off you idiots and give me a hand with this safe." See-more yelled. "Pull it out of the wall so I can cut it apart!"
"I gotcha See-More." Mammoth said in his gravely voice. He dug his hand into the wall and pulled the safe free with ease. See-More yelped and jumped back as it clanged to the floor near his feet.
"Umm, thanks big guy." See-More adjusted the dial on his visor and started bruning through the safe.
Mammoth stalked over to Jinx and slumped against the wall with a sigh, crushing the drywall behind him. "When are they gonna get here? I'm bored."
"What, looting the swankiest retail store in town isn't exciting enough for you?" Jinx said. She studied her fingernails under the glare of the fluorescent lights.
"This place? Nah. The new guys are enjoying themselves but I still say we shoulda' hit a Wal-Mart. They got these big tubs of caramel popcorn there." The hulking teenager grinned down at his diminutive partner.
Jinx couldn't help but smile a bit. Out of all her teammates, only Mammoth could ever lighten her mood. Once she realized that there was absolutely no subtext in anything he said she found that it was next to impossible to respond to him with anything but equal sincerity.
"Hey Billy, check out these new golf clubs!"
"Those sure are nice Billy! They'll go great with my new plaid pants!"
"Hey Billy, check out these stockings! Ain't they sheer?"
"Um, Billy. We need to have a talk."
"Yeah Billy. We've been noticing lately that the stuff you've been stealing is… well, kinda girly."
"And Billy told us that he caught you… you know, tryin' on those dresses at the hideout."
"Oh god, Billy saw me? … It was just one time. I was just curious!"
"Hey, hey… it's okay Billy. You're just going through a tough time right now."
"Yeah Billy. Admitting you have a problem is the first step towards recovery."
"Yeah Billy, we'll help you through this… together."
"Oh Billy… You're the best friend I ever had!"
"Hey scrumbuckets, front and center!" Gizmo screamed out. "I'm tracking the Titans and they just entered the building!"
"Thank Christ!" Jinx grumbled. "Another few minutes of 'Billy Numerous subconscious dinner theatre' and I'd have had to kill him on principal."
"Okay, now stick to the plan! They'll be expecting us to try and escape with our loot, not fight back. Just keep them tied up as long as possible." Gizmo said. "I need all the time you can give me."
Just then the elevator dinged. The Hive Five turned as one toward it just as the doors buckled and flew off in a terrific explosion. Mammoth pulled Jinx behind him. One of the doors collided with his back as he turned. The huge teenager grunted as it cracked in two against him.
Jinx dived between his legs and unleashed a flurry of hex bolts towards the elevator. They impacted with a ball of transparent black energy and dissipated. Behind her shield, Raven floated out of the elevator shaft, looking more than a little menacing.
See-More's hand flew up to his visor as he took aim. Before he could fire on Raven the air conditioning vent above him popped open. A green and black furry creature landed on his head. See-More screamed and swatted at, knocking it away. It landed at his feet. He swung his visor down and took aim.
See-More had time for one regretful groan before he received a face full of skunk juice. Gagging and coughing, he stumbled back and collapsed in a vomiting heap on the floor.
"Oh god, it's in my nose! HWAAAARF!" He could have sworn he heard the little green skunk giggling as it scampered away.
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Alright Beast Boy! That was awesome! Nike cried out in glee.
She was floating in a virtual environment made entirely of data. In here she had no mobility problems. A golden, glowing body drifted within a sea of information. Huge glimmering wings trailed behind her for hundreds of feet, catching and sifting data like a net.
Numerous security camera feeds floated in the web of her feathery wings. In a process that could only exist in a conceptual digital world, such as the one Nike found herself in, they flowed into the back of her head in silvery threads.
For all intents and purposes, Nike was in the department store, in the very same room as the Titans. Raw camera feeds plus blueprints she had found for the building plus the signals from all the Titans' communicators had allowed her to build a virtual environment.
Three Billies ran right through her, heading for Raven. She turned around just in time to see Robin bust in through the window, just like she knew he would, and knock all three of them unconscious with blinding speed.
Robin! Nike cried out. The Teen Wonder didn't see Mammoth rushing towards his back. One blow from the behemoth would be enough to smear Robin's fragile body all over the floor.
She needn't have worried. Almost on cue the ceiling collapsed on the lumbering hulk. As if that wasn't bad enough, Starfire was right behind the falling debris. She hit Mammoth from above with all the force of a train. The two crashed through the floor, and then another, and then another if the sounds from below were any indication.
Unfortunately that was enough to cut the electricity to all the camers on that floor. The room dimmed, almost to the point of total blackness. The Titans themselves, thanks to their trackers, were still visible, but the Hive Five were rapidly disappearing from Nike's view.
Frustrated, she opened her mind even more, throwing as much processing power as she could into the task, but she knew it was futile. Another few seconds and they would blink out completely. There just wasn't enough information to create any accurate models for whatever actions they might take next.
Nike scowled in irritation. Little fishlike creatures made of gleaming information scurried away from her. They swam around aimlessly, finally finding a new stream of data to merge with.
This wasn't fair! She wanted to be there with them! It wasn't fair that her new friends were risking their lives while all she could do was sit back and watch!
I'm not totally useless. I could bite some ankles at least!
Nike sighed and let the now dead feeds drift free from her glowing wings. The Titans could handle themselves. There was more information to tend to.
In fact, there was a little conundrum bumping against her thigh. She picked it up and saw that it was a logical paradox. A rather knotty one, born from the virtual environment she had been drifting in just a few moments before.
And at it's center was all the information she had registered from Gizmo.
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Cyborg kicked the stairwell door open. A quick glance confirmed everything was well in hand. Raven and Jinx were going full sorceress on each other, neither able to gain the upper hand which was usual when the two of them fought. Robin was busy creating a twitching pile of Billies with his bo staff. The robotic teen almost felt sorry for See-More. The skinny criminal was covered in his own vomit from chin to belt. Not to mention that a green grizzly bear was lazily batting him back and forth like a beach ball.
Cyborg felt the building shudder under his feet, as if a grenade has detonated several floors below. Star was still slugging it out with Mammoth obviously. That left one more villain who needed to be dealt with. The most dangerous and unpredictable of all the Hive Five if you asked Cyborg.
"Hey Snotlicker!" Gizmo called from the perfume counter he was standing on. "I want a piece of you!"
"You know, you can cuss like a real person if you want." Cyborg said, his right arm shifting into it's sonic cannon configuration. "I won't tell your mama!"
"My mama's a saint! Don't you say a thing about her!" Gizmo pulled a pair of small pistols from behind his back and leveled them at Cyborg.
Cyborg dove forward and unleashed a blast of concentrated sonic waves at the runty villain. Gizmo dodged it and rolled behind the counter. Strangely enough, he didn't fire either of his pistols.
"I'm sorry, are you a little sensitive about your fat mama!" Cyborg edged his way up to the counter. Of all the Hive Five, Gizmo was the last one you'd want to underestimate. Cyborg was ready to drop the midget at the first sign of motion.
"Stop talking about my mama you reject Go-Bot!" Still no movement from behind the counter.
"Hey, I'm a Transformers man, shrimp!" Cyborg edged forward more and more. Another second and he could rush the counter and flood it with a sonic blast. "Just ask your mama, she'll tell you there's more to me than meets the eye!"
Silence, and then laughter from behind the counter. Maniacal, frantic laughter. Cyborg was unnerved. He had never heard this from Gizmo before.
"You think you're so smart don't you tin man? You really screwed up this time. You just screwed up your whole life and you don't even know it yet!"
Cyborg sneered. He'd had enough of this. He dove between the counters, his huge polymer shoulders smashing into a glass case, knocking the entire cabinet across the floor. His sonic cannon flashed, discharging enough energy to send Gizmo through the wall.
Only, when the smoke cleared, Gizmo was still standing there. Cyborg blinked and readied another shot as the diminuitive criminal doubled over in laughter. He actually fell on his back laughing, his stubby legs kicking in the air like a dying spider.
Cyborg growled and threw his fist at Gizmo. It passed through him like he was a ghost, the momentum sending Cyborg smashing into another cabinet.
A hologram.
Cyborg! Something's wrong! It's Gizmo! Nike's voice flowed into Cyborg's brain through the Titans communicator.
Yeah, I know. He's got a hologram! The little runt tricked me and now he's probably got me pinned down behind this counter, waiting to blast me the second I pop my head up! Cyborg could have kicked himself.
No, you don't understand! It was only then that Cyborg noticed the panic in Nike's voice. He's in the tower!
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Wow, It's like I'm never going to get this story finished. I finally figured out how I want the arc to go, I have an ending. Hopefully I'll get it done sometime before spring.
I also went through and reformatted the previous chapters. They should have clearly defined section breaks now so go check them out.
Short chapter this time. Don't worry, Nike's going to get her body soon. -Rex