It's been a long time since I felt the heat of flames
But even longer since I saw you smile with your eyes
The laughter dies, they're closing with shame
I still see it, when I look up into harsh black skies…

5
The Master of the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu

Maybe going to the Akabeko hadn't been such a good idea.

I'd thought maybe it would be, for many reasons. First and foremost had been my own stomach, which was with my tongue on agreement that they were sick of the tasteless hardtack Shino and I had been eating on the road. Secondly, I thought it might be a good idea to, I don't know, practice. It seemed to be a good idea if I sought out Tae before going on to the Kamiya dojo and see how well I'd react if there were any…differences. Third, if what I found at either place was what I thought I might find there, it would confirm once and for all that Himura Shino really was a form of Himura Kenshin.

Despite the best efforts of my imagination, it still floored me when "Tae" jumped cheerfully out at us as we entered the inverted Akabeko's doors. Shino and a tall, lanky, and very, very male Sekihara Tae looked down on where I had fallen. "Sano, are you all right?"

"Uh... Y-yeah, sure."

"My apologizes. Didn't mean to scare you," the man-Tae said, eyes a little surprised in his cheerful-set face.

"Um, you'll have to excuse him," Shino explained, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly. "You see, he was struck by lightning not long ago, and he's been acting kind of--"

"Struck by lighting?" man-Tae exclaimed.

"All right," I said loudly as I got to my feet. "Never mind all that. Let's just eat already."

I stomped in the direction of a table, and behind me heard him say, "You know, he kind of reminds me of someone who came through here not long ago. A tall, wild girl, that one. She ran up this huge tab. Come to think of it, she looked just like hi--"

Panicked, I spun around and loudly ordered an insane amount of food that had everyone in the entire restaurant looking our way.

Anything to cover over what he was saying.

He left to go get the food with a bewildered, backward glance at Shino, who was somehow managing to gawk and smile apologetically at the same time.

I chose a table and sat, and eventually the glances melted away. "Sano, are you all right?" Shino asked again as she joined me.

"Sure," I lied miserably. This was going to be a lot harder than I thought. Perhaps I should have obeyed my first instincts and stayed away from everywhere familiar, because just the sight of Tae-san was a little more than I wanted to take.

Let alone any damn references to whomever my own look-alike was here. What was I getting myself into here? Dangerously close to traumatizing myself, as far as I could tell.

Shino was watching me again. Knowing she was a version of Kenshin had automatically entitled her to my friendship and protection since the moment I met her, but it had taken longer for me to become her friend. I trusted her with my life as I would Kenshin, but any trust she felt for me was new and just beginning. I knew my bouts of weird behavior worried her, especially in that area.

But I couldn't help it. It's not exactly anything I'd ever heard in any fairy tale, fable, myth, or old wives' tale that you could wake up one morning and see that everyone in the world was not only backwards, but reversed of sexual category. I was willing to be that God was Goddess here instead, but again, I'd run into a thought to which I really didn't want to know the answer.

"Tae" came back with the first serving, and I took the opportunity to sheepishly lessen the order, much to his relief. Just as long as he didn't mention ever seeing anyone at all who looked like me.

Shino had a hesitating appetite for someone I was sure hadn't had as decent a meal in a while. In fact, the conversation and laughter we'd just begun to share on the road evaporated for the most part as soon as we stepped into town. With me, she hadn't bothered much with keeping her face shadowed with her hair, kept her head up, and I even knew moments of unremarked joy when she looked me directly in the eye when she spoke to me.

But, as soon as we passed from the relative wilderness into the city, she became withdrawn. Avoiding all eyes, even mine, she kept her head down, kept her hair over her scar. I hated it. For reasons I didn't really understand, it made me angry she was this way around people.

Not that Kenshin didn't keep people at bay similarly with his clueless smiles and severe humility, but this was so much less pleasant. Kenshin's display of "unworthiness" was amusing at best, exasperating at worst. Shino's was…really distressing to me.

I'd forgotten how hurt she seemed when it was just her and me for the last couple of days. Now the look and texture of pain was back, and it seemed, for lack of any other evidence, to be connected with people.

Why?

I badly wanted to know, but there was no way I could really ask. If she was cut from Kenshin's pattern, then it stood to reason she'd clam right up if asked about the past. So kept quiet, and hoped whatever I could do to help was enough.

If I survived my efforts to help. This place was really bad for the heart.

"Hey?"

I started, glanced up to see Shino staring intently at me. "You're pale and you're breathing strangely," she informed me. "You're sweating too."

I grinned weakly at her over my tea. It wasn't so much that I thought the world was going to end. It's just that I was kind of wishing another lightning bolt would strike me down before I got there. Whether it sent me home or not.

"Sano?"

"What?"

"Are you going to, um, knock, or…?"

My knuckles were pressed against the door, as if frozen there. Why was this so difficult? What could be worse than a girl-Kenshin, anyway? A wave of dizziness passed over me. I ignored it. It couldn't be that bad…

Maybe it wouldn't be if the place didn't look so much like home. The dojo was built inverted and backwards from the place I had known. But it smelled the same. The sight of it looking a bit run down, but upheld by a lot of love and tallow… There ought to be a peace-loving rurouni doing laundry or dishes by the well, and a bratty kid serving a lengthy sentence of sword swings in the yard and a girl…a girl in the kitchen botching rice balls.

I couldn't do this. I took a step back, and grabbed the back of Shino's gi, pulling her forward to the door. "Um. Shino, you knock on the door."

She gave me an odd look, but turned obediently enough to give three short raps on the door with one of her little fists.

There was a moment's silence before we heard footsteps from within, coming closer. My heartbeat quickened and I fisted my hands into the fabric of my jacket. This was a nightmare feeling. Like the kind one has as a child when one is cornered and can hear but not see something coming out of the darkness to tear into one's body and devour the soul.

I was chilled at the image and violently fought back the feelings of light-headedness. It couldn't be that bad.

The doors opened, a voice calling out, "Can I help you?" before its owner stepped out into the sunlight.

Shino turned to me, evidently waiting for me to speak.

I couldn't. At that moment, I was lucky enough my heart kept beating.

The man was young, in his early twenties. He had lustrous black hair pulled into a small ponytail. He had face that was both strong and boyish at the same time, average height, his training gi opened a little to reveal the chest and abdomen of a man who was no stranger to physical activity.

But it was his eyes that had me. They were large, sapphire. Jou-chan's eyes.

Gah, but my head hurt…

"Sano!"

I blinked, realizing that Shino had me by one arm and the young man had rushed forward to grab the other.

"Oh, the fever's back!" Shino grunted in frustration.

"You're really burning up," the young man said.

"But it's so cold," I murmured.

"You lanky, freeloading, rooster-head! Wait a minute! Wait for us!"

The rain was coming down a little faster, but I grinned and half-turned anyway to wait for the girl and the kid to catch up.

Yahiko fumed, steam trickling impressively from his ears as he glared at me over his laden arms. "Rooster-head!" he said again. "Why'd you leave us behind?"

"I'm not about to just wait around in the rain while you and Jou-chan stand around all day talking," I said, adjusting the buckets of salt, miso, and soy sauce that were balanced across my shoulders with a rod. "I figured if I wandered off you'd follow eventually."

Now it was the little girl's turn to fume. "Grr! I can't wait until Kenshin gets better. He's a gentleman."

Still grinning, I shrugged and turned and started walking again. "You don't like it, you shouldn't have asked me to come shopping with you."

"You eat the food, you can at least help carry it!"

"Yeah, carrying it instead of paying for it," Yahiko muttered.

I laughed reaching out with a hand to scrub at his spiky hair. "Hey, that's a heavy price you know. This stuff weighs tons."

Yahiko snorted, Jou-chan chuckled. She opened her parasol and held it up and walked closely between Yahiko and me so that we each got some sort of protection from the rain.

"We better hurry in case that ninny at home is trying to get out of bed…"

I sat up quickly, grunting at the tightness on my chest and arm. I was fully rebandaged, and there was the coolness of the poultice that Shino used on the unhealing burns.

I looked around, realizing I was lying on a futon in a room so familiar there was another pain in my chest that had nothing to do with the burn.

I was in one of the bedrooms of the house. Kaoru's house.

I knew it wasn't so, but… I couldn't help but half-close my eyes and imagine that I was there. At home. That little raccoon girl and Yahiko-chan seemed so close I could almost feel them.

Where was Shino?

I got up and made my way through the door. Damn dojo was backwards. That would take some getting used to.

"It's so strange. The blisters never heal, the redness never fades, the swelling on his chest only goes down a little sometimes, but always comes back. And so does the fever. But usually he's so strong. He carried me from Kyoto almost all the way here when I sprained my foot, but that fever hits him hard--"

I followed the sound of Shino's voice, eventually finding them in the wide-open space of the dojo itself. She sat on the floor across from the blue-eyed boy, the both of them looking up to see me.

Shino stood up quickly. "Are you okay now, Sano?"

"Yeah," I said, a little sheepishly. "I'm sorry about that."

She only smiled, as if it were no problem. "Sano, this is Kamiya Kaoru-san. He is the master of the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu."

"…Oh." It was all I could think of to say.

Kaoru smiled brightly at me. "I've been testing Shino-san a little while you were sleeping, Sagara-san. I think she's got great potential and I'll certainly be glad to teach her."

"Thanks." Again, derisory, but also again, it was all I could think of.

"Sano?" Shino moved forward to grasp my arm. "You're not going to fai…pass out again, are you?"

"What? No. No, no." I patted her hand clumsily. "You know what? If it's all right with…with Kamiya-san, I think I'll go lie down a little while longer…"

"Oh, that's fine with me. Take all the time you need. It's been a while since I had some company here."

Company? "Um. Yeah. Well, do you have, uh…a kid living here with you? Maybe about fifteen or so?"

Kaoru blinked. "No. I've had a few boarders, but not for a while. Why?"

"Never mind. It's nothing."

I turned to leave, but as I did I heard the familiar sound of a sword sliding from it's sheath. Turning back, I saw Kaoru holding a katana in her hands. Shino had one as well, mimicking the way he demonstrated how to hold it.

"You don't use a bokken?" I blurted. They looked at me.

"No," Kaoru said, genuinely puzzled. "Of course not. Why would you think that?"

"Well…" I gestured weakly at her with my bandaged arm. "Kamiya kasshin-ryu. Sword that protects…?"

"You can't protect anyone if someone with a real sword chops the one you've got. A bokken isn't much good for protection," he explained slowly, as if I were some kind of idiot.

"Oh," I said, feeling like one.

I walked back to the room where I had been sleeping in a bit of a daze. Okay. Kaoru is a man here. That I had been expecting since I met Shino. He was still called "Kaoru" but it was one of those dumb names that went both ways. Very little I could do about except hold steadfast to the nickname that I had for my Kaoru, and try to avoid calling the other Kaoru by his name as much as possible.

And using true katana instead of bokkens? That was just…wrong. Academically (if Sagara Sanosuke could be accused of ever being academic) I knew that the Kamiyas' sword style might have depended on wooden swords more because of the sword-banning act in my world than so much for the bokken being decidedly non-lethal…

…but that was a pretty big "might".

On the other hand, people everywhere in this world were carrying swords. Real steel. And as Kaoru had said, a wooden sword wouldn't be much good against a steel one.

It was also impossible to imagine Kenshin carrying around a shinai like Yahiko used to, and not all that much easier to think of Shino using one either.

Yahiko…

So I guess he'd be a girl in this world too? I tried and failed to imagine him wearing a yakuta or with long hair and pigtails, but the metal picture made me a little ill.

Some things simply should not be.

But more importantly, where was the he…or she? I knew that before Jou-chan had taken him in he'd been with the yakuza. I vehemently hoped that this wasn't the case in this world. If Yahiko was a girl here, and I had no reason to believe he wasn't with all I'd seen so far, then at fifteen the yakuza could be employing him--her--to more unsavory things than pick-pocketing.

I groaned, head in my hands. Great, just…great. Now not only did I worry about Shino, I was worried about Yahiko now as well. I wondered how difficult it would be to find and visit every yakuza group until I found him. If he was even with them.

I had emptied my pockets and hastily counted the coins, all the money I had left from bodyguarding in my own world. "How long can this get her?"

Kaoru glanced at the money offered him. "That would be fine for about four weeks," he said distractedly. "But, Sano, those burns are still really bad. It's like they're never going to heal. Are you sure you won't stay until you're better, or at least see the doctor--" Shino firmly nodded her agreement.

"I can't be slowed down for some little burns," I said, as if it didn't much matter.

I was a little suspicious of both of them. A month's training and room and board seemed like a little much for such a small amount of money I was offering, so I figured Shino had probably been whittling away at the price by offering do chores and such…and how very Kenshin of her to do so. But also by the soft looks Kaoru was giving her when she wasn't looking, the price might have gone down considerably for other reasons. I was willing to bet that if he wasn't in too tight of a financial situation to turn down customers willing to pay, he might have foregone payment entirely.

That would have made it easier for me, but I wasn't about to press it. If the money I had could get Shino lessons for a month, that meant I had a whole month to come up with more money to span her education into at least a year, find a way home, and perhaps even search around for a Yahiko-girl, just to see if he--she--was all right.

We were all silent for the moment. My two dearest friends, strangers to each other as I was a stranger to them.

I got up and walked casually out. The way Kaoru looked at Shino. That was okay, I told myself forcefully. More than okay. That would be the only right thing I'd so far found with this universe. Kenshin and Jou-chan back at home, that was how they were meant to be. No reason for Shino and Kaoru here to be any different. Hell, if they fell in love, that'd make it a lot easier on me. He'd take care of her. I wouldn't have to worry about her or paying for kendo lessons. Go on with my life guilt-free. More than guilt-free. I ought to be feeling pretty good about myself.

Yeah. Ought to…

Not caring to go through a lengthy goodbye when I planned to return in a few weeks, I turned to announce I was leaving and nearly yelped to see a redhead standing right in front me.

"Shino! Make some noise when you walk!"

She smiled. "Sorry." She held out small cloth bag. "You need this. It's got more poultice and bandages for your burns. Keep it clean, change the bandages every day, okay?"

"Yeah. Okay." I took it from her, smiling awkwardly at her thoughtfulness. "Thanks, Shin-chan. Have fun with Kaoru-san. Learn really well, okay? I'll be back soon."

I turned to leave again. She put a hand on my elbow. "Do you promise?" she said softly.

I looked down at her. Her large violet eyes were staring straight into mine, and stayed there, waiting for an answer. A trembling force of will for one who was frightened of eye contact.

Suddenly, absurdly proud of her, I put an arm around her shoulders in a half-hug. "I promise," I said.

I went on, only looking back once because I felt like doing so would fortify my promise to her. As I expected, she was standing on the porch watching me leave. Behind her, Kaoru raised a hand to wave goodbye.

I turned away again. I had no idea where to go or what to do yet. But I would think of something.