A/N – "Thoughts"

Chapter 7 – Coming Back

After breakfast, Gordo had gone outside to play with Sammy and Miranda had gone back to the attic with the intention of continue cleaning and organizing it. But after about ten minutes, "It's been a mess for the past four months, it can stay a mess for another week." Packing up what little she had taken out already, she quickly went back downstairs and outside.

She grinned as she walked into the backyard and watched Samantha yelling for Gordo to push her faster on her swing set. If she knew her daughter like she thought she did, when she got high enough, Samantha was going to jump.

Like she thought, Samantha jumped off the swing and briefly landed on her feet before losing her balance and landing on her butt. Landing, instead of crying, she started laughing.

Snickering softly, Miranda glanced at Gordo. He was smirking a little and giving her a look. Gordo often said that their daughter was a lot like her mother, a fearless daredevil. At the age of five, Samantha had already had stitches twice and so many bruises and cuts, that they had lost track years ago.

Walking over to him, she smirked back at him, "Shut up," she told him, reading his mind. Glancing at their daughter, hearing her laughter stop, Miranda snickered softly. "She has her father in her too."

Samantha was sitting where she fell, suddenly fascinated by a bird as it landed, hoped up into a tree, and back down. Like her father, she wanted to know everything and was constantly asking questions and tinkering with things.

As she watched her daughter, she started thinking about the rest of her first trip to Mexico and how she came back to find Lizzie and Gordo together. Even though she knew it was stupid, she couldn't help but think if things had played out just a little different, maybe not only would they not have Samantha but maybe Gordo and her wouldn't be together at all.

Feeling an arm wrap around her, she looked over at him and felt his lips gently kiss her forehead. "Why do you always think about what ifs?" he asked her rhetorically, not really expecting an answer.

"Sometimes having someone know you so well could be a real pain in the ass." While everyone had been absolutely thrilled to see Lizzie and Gordo together, it was a double edge sword for Miranda. She was glad her friends were together and even though she had seen it coming, she couldn't help but feel jealous. It had been very hard for her to swallow her feelings and try to be genuinely happy for her best friend, that she considered like a sister, and her other best friend, who she was just figuring out that she had fallen for.

Many nights found Miranda lying in bed, just thinking and staring out into space. Fighting the urge to cry in frustration and sadness, and sometimes failing.

Those first few months had been the hardest; but after awhile, she found it easier to hid her real feelings and put on the act, like all was all right.

She often looked back and wondered how she made it through those years that Lizzie and Gordo were together. After awhile, Gordo could tell when she would think back on it because like now, she'd get quiet and an almost sad expression would cross her face. He hated when she would do it; he felt the past was the past and his present and future were with her.

-----

Miranda sat alone in her room, just staring out the window. She had spent the last few hours listening to what seemed like everyone gushing over the fact that Gordo and Lizzie were a couple.

It was fourth of July and had been about a week since the Sanchezs had returned from Mexico and a few days since Gordo and the McGuires returned from Rome. Every fourth of July the town of Hill Ridge shoots off fireworks at the town park and can be seen from almost all over the town. Since Lizzie and Gordo were babies, the McGuires would have a cookout and they would invite the Gordons and Sanchezs over and watch the fireworks from their backyard.

Normally, Miranda looked forward to it but this year, she had been dreading it; especially when she found out that Gordo and Lizzie were together. Ever since they returned from Rome, it seemed like everyone was gushing over the new couple. Miranda tried to be happy for her best friends but deep down, there was a nagging feeling, jealousy.

While Lizzie told her she was uncomfortable with attention, Miranda knew she was enjoying it. Gordo was the one who wasn't, she could tell the attention was making him uncomfortable but wasn't saying anything because of Lizzie.

Those first few days they were back together had been the hardest. As much as she missed her friends and wanted to be back with them, being back with them was difficult because she had to make herself be happy for them while on the inside cursing the situation.

Finally, tonight at the cookout, she couldn't take anymore of the happy couple. Even her parents were gushing over Lizzie and Gordo and it just made her sick to stomach.

The worst part was the more agitated she got, the more the last person she ever wanted to notice, did.

Gordo pulled her aside and around the side of the house, "Are you alright?"

"Wh…Whatya mean?" Miranda said slightly stumbling over her words.

"You've barely eaten anything and you seem, I don't know, jumpy."

Rolling her eyes, she put her hands on her hips and gave him an irritated glance. "What? I have to eat like a horse everyday?" she snapped at him.

Gordo held his hands up defensively, "Easy!" he snapped back. "I was just asking you if you're alright. You don't have to jump down my throat about it. Gees, I'm sorry I actually felt some concern for you. Silly me."

Miranda sighed and bit her tongue. "I'm sorry. I just haven't been feeling well and I'm a little irritable." When Gordo arched an eyebrow, Miranda smirked and glared at him, "Shut up."

"I think I'm gonna go home and lay down," she told him. When he gave her this concerned look, she felt her stomach tighten. "Besides it'll give you some time alone with Lizzie."

"But,"

"Gordo, I'll be fine. Now go," she ordered him and he reluctantly nodded in agreement.

As she was telling her mom what she was going to do, she saw Lizzie give Gordo a quick kiss and then after him say something to her, Lizzie looked at her with concerned look.

As Miranda was leaving, Lizzie stopped her, "You sure you're gonna be ok?"

Miranda smirked softly, "Yea. It's just an upset stomach and I'm a little tired."

"Ok. Well, I hope you feel better," Lizzie said then hugged her friend. "I'll call you later."

"Right. Bye."

"Bye," Lizzie said with a small wave.

That was a few hours ago and here she was, alone in her room watching the fireworks from her window as she figured Gordo and Lizzie were sitting close together enjoying themselves. Sighing softly, she felt something wet slide down her cheek.

"Damn it," she swore under her breath and quickly wiped it away.

Just as she did, Mrs. Sanchez walked into her room. "Hey honey, I just came," she paused in mid-sentence as she watched Miranda whipping her cheek. Tilting her head slightly, she studied her daughter. Walking over to the small window seat where Miranda was sitting, she sat down next to her, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Its about Lizzie and Gordo, isn't it?"

"No," Miranda said quickly while looking out the window.

Mrs. Sanchez's eyes went wide with sudden realization; "Oh my," Quickly wrapping her daughter in a hug, "I can't believe I didn't see this." Remembering how she had been just gushing over the new couple, she winced softly, "I'm so sorry. I never thought how hard this must be for you. Seeing your best friends together and feeling a little left out."

"Its not hard," Miranda said as she pulled herself out of her mother's embrace. "Gordo can date who ever he wants."

Mrs. Sanchez sat there for a moment looking at her. With one sentence, things were slowly starting to make sense. "Is there something between you and Gordo?" she asked cautiously, not wanting to upset her but now very curious.

"What! No! Of course not, he's just my friend," she practically shouted as she jumped up to her feet. "I just don't feel good. I do not, have a crush on Gordo."

Nodding slowly, "Ok honey." Standing up herself, Mrs. Sanchez slowly walked over to her. "Of course honey, I believe you." She then kissed her forehead and walked out of the room.

Sighing in defeat, Miranda flopped down on her bed and closed her eyes.

-----

Miranda felt something shake her slightly and it snapped her out of her daze. Looking over, she found her husband grinning at her.

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?" she asked him.

"Think about the past."

Miranda smirked at him, "I believe you told me, if we don't learn from the past, we're doomed to repeat it."

Gordo smirked back; pulling her closer, so she was standing in front of him, against his chest. "And you taught me, that sometimes you have to let go of the past to move forward. In the end, I'm with you. Not Lizzie or anyone else but with your crazy ass."

"I know. But I just can't help but think what if. But I also think how lucky I am, that I did end up with you," she then paused and a wide grin appeared on her face, "Even if half the time I want to beat the hell out of you."

"Are you two gonna kiss again?" a voice said from behind Miranda.

They both looked over to find Samantha looking back at them with disgusted look on her face. Gordo laughed softly and Miranda playfully jabbed him in the chest. "Oh, you're gonna pay for that one," Gordo said sarcastically. He went to grab her to tickle her but Miranda quickly grabbed his arms and struggled to keep them away.

"Get him Sammy," Miranda said while laughing.

Letting out an excited laugh, Sam slipped in between them and started to try and tickle Gordo's ribs.

For the next few hours, the three of them played around in their backyard. Something they hadn't done in a long time and Miranda and Gordo enjoyed it.