(Chapter 12 – Takumi's Prayer)

Hi Mom! I know you were there with me as I took the Science test! Mom, can't you believe it! I got an A on my test! Cool, huh, Mom?

Mom, do you remember those times when you played with me in our small garden, not minding about your sickness? Dad already told me about it… when Hatori-san told us that you were dead on arrival 4 years ago in the Main House clinic.

At first, I didn't believe it… because I loved you, Mom and I wished you weren't dead. But Dad told me that you died 9 years ago but he was glad that Kami-sama gave you 5 more years to live.

I know I've been telling you this gazillion times when you were still here – I love you, Mom.

It wasn't only Dad who cried for days when you passed away… I cried for weeks, I locked myself in my bedroom; I didn't eat for days, not wanting to hear a word from Dad.

:Flashback:

"Takumi, open this door!" Kyo pounded his fists at the bedroom door of his son, "Takumi, open up!"

"No Dad!" Taku shouted, "I won't open this door not until Mom tells me to!"

"Did Kagura tell you to lock yourself up and cry?" Kyo said, "I'm sure your mother would have been worried sick if she was here!"

"Why Dad? Have you not been crying, too? And Mom wouldn't be worried about me anymore, because she's not here!" Taku countered, "I want Mom back! I want Mom back!"

Kyo sat on the foot of the door of his son's bedroom and hugged his knees.

"I know how sad it is to have Kagura gone." Kyo told Taku, "But you should know that your Mom wasn't feeling too well for the past years."

"Can't the doctors cure her? Hatori-san sure would!" Taku screamed, "But why didn't he do anything to save her?"

"Don't blame Hatori, Taku." Kyo sighed, "Kagura was born with the sickness. It's a third generation illness and it's incurable, do you understand me, son? It was already with your great grandmother, that's why when this sickness got to your mother, well, her body became so weak."

"I want Mom back!"

"I want your Mom back, too." Kyo smiled, "I miss her so much. You know how much your Dad loves your Mom, right? I'm sure you miss her, too. Shouting out her name for the past few weeks, alone in that room… I'm 100 sure she'll hear you, alright."

His son just sobbed and cried.

"Your mother is terribly ill. 9 years ago, she died in the hospital for around 3 or 4 minutes… But Kami-sama thought 'What if I give Taku-chan to Kagura?' and then, your Mom was back. After a few days, she was released from the hospital. After a few weeks, she learned that she was pregnant. 9 months later, you were born. Your Mom was very happy to have you, son. It was also she who named you 'Takumi'. She gave exerted so much effort to take care of you. Kagura loves you very much."

"When Kagura knew that she was pregnant, bearing you inside her womb, she was very happy." Kyo told his son, "She expected the child to be a boy and so it was. That's why your Mom always exerted so much effort in taking care of you. When she was giving birth to you, she had difficulty and when she heard your cries, she felt sheer joy. But then again, her life was in danger. She had slept for 3 days after you were born. I was worried that Kagura would never wake up ever again but when I brought you into my arms to sit beside her, she woke up and hugged you, for the very first time. That was the time she had given you your name. See how your mother loves you?"

"But why did she have to die, Dad?" Takumi said.

"She loves you very much." Kyo sighed, "She could care less if she dies any day in her life, she just wants to be with you – she just wants you to exist in this world. She wants her story to be told by a boy she brought forth to the world. She knows her life was short but she was satisfied, happy enough with those 5 years she was present in your life."

Kyo sighed again and continued, "Someday you'll understand, my son. Your Mom is by your side right now, laughing as you laugh, crying as you cry, watching you as you sleep, guiding you as you walk, prays for your safety… She may not be here physically, you can't see her… She's erased in the world but she'll never be gone in our hearts. Kagura can't live forever… I can't live forever, and so can't you. We would all die someday, but there's one thing for sure. We are still a family in our hearts. Your Mom is watching you right now, Takumi. And she's sad because you're questioning her why she's gone away when she's not."

With that, the door opened and Kyo looked over his shoulder to see his crying son. He turned to him and hugged his child.

Kyo whispered in Takumi's ear, "Your Mom wanted to see you the night before she left, but she was afraid that you would be crying all the more if she insisted your presence. So while you were asleep that night, she sat by your side and sang songs… I'm sure those songs will forever be on your lips. Ah, just like I said earlier, once you get older, you will understand."

Takumi hugged his father tighter and said, "I love Mom! I'll miss her!"

:End of Flashback:

I know you're right here Mom. I know you were right there at that moment when Dad said those things to me. I'm sure you wouldn't like him to confess such things, but I appreciate it, Mom. I love you very much.

I know, I know. You've always told me to love Dad. I love Dad, too. He's very funny but I guess you can say even if you've gone away, he still loves you very much.

I know you're glad that I didn't have your disease, Mom. Dad told me all about it the year after you died. If I have been a girl, I would have the disease and it would kill me immediately. Dad told me that you pray everyday to Kami-sama that I would be a boy when I was inside your womb. And I guess, I really feel that I'm a true blessing to you. Never will your disease haunt any Sohma…

Hey Mom, did you know that Dad said that he wouldn't go for any other girl? I asked him that since I've got no more existing mother, why won't he get a Mom for me? That's when he said, "There's no other woman in my life aside from your Mom, Takumi. How many times do I have to tell you, even if she's gone physically, she'll never be gone in our hearts? I love Kagura and she'll be the only woman in my life, remember that!"

See? Dad really loves you!

Dad is currently teaching me Martial Arts. I'll use it for good, Mom. Maybe one day, I'll be able to join the school's Martial Arts team to fight with other schools, isn't that very cool?

Dad also told me that you used to beat him up when you weren't sick. That when you were teens, you were terribly strong, not even Dad can stand a punch from you! Cool!

Anyway, Dad told me he was proud of me because I was unlike most of the Sohma kids. He told me he was glad I didn't complain that I was cursed under the Ram. He told me he was cursed under the Cat and you, aside from your illness, were cursed under the Boar. Actually, being a Ram is quite cool… I just have to avoid girls outside the clan, though!

Well Mom, that's all I have to tell you. I'll go tell you another story on our next visit. I love you, Mom! Please rest in peace…

TBC…