DISCLAMER THESE CHARACTERS AND/OR SONGS DO NOT BELONG TO ME.

"Spike I can't do this anymore. It's killing me inside." Spike looked at her in shock. "What are you talking about." He asked. "Your not serious." "I wish to God that I wasn't." Tears began to well up behind her eyes. She hated what she was doing, but she knew she had to. "Fine. You want it that way. You can have it." He flicked his cigarette at her boot as he had done before.

She put his out...like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette. She broke his heart.

Three Years Later

"Spike, man you can't sit in this bar for the rest of your life." Xander said. "I can and I will." He put a bottle of whiskey to his mouth and took a huge drink. "I have to forget her Mate." He took another drink and said; "I have to forget."

He spent his whole life trying to forget. We watched him drink his pain away, a little at a time.

Spike sat on his knees on the bed and stared at the wall. There was bottle after bottle on the bed without a drop left in them. He didn't have another bottle with any alcohol left in it.

But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind. Until the night...

He held a handgun in his left hand, and in his right was a piece of paper with writing on it. He placed it on the left pillow. Then he took a deep breath.

He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger. And finally drank away her memory. Life is short but this time it was bigger, then he strength he had to get up off his knees.

"Spike?" Xander called into the house with Anya at his side. "Spike, man, where are you? I left you five messages last night, why didn't you call..." Xander saw that the answering machine hadn't been checked. 'Spike?" Xander headed up the stairs to Spike's room. "Spike?"

We found his with his face down in the pillow, with a note that said: 'I'll love her 'til I die.'

"Oh my God!" Anya cried. She had already been upstairs. "Spike. Spike. Spike! Xander!" She shouted. "Oh God Spike! Come on Buddy." He said flipping him over on his back.

"He was taken to soon. But we will never let his leave our lives. Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust." A priest said.

And when we buried him beneath the willow. The angels sang a whiskey lullaby. La la la la la la la. La la la la la la la La la la la la la la La la la la la la la

Buffy sat in an over stuffed chair with her elbows supporting her upper body. "How are you doing Buffy?" An older lady asked. Buffy looked up and saw that it was Spike's Mother. "Oh, I'm holding my own Mrs. Williams. How-how are you?" Buffy said trying to avoid breathing on her. "Some times are harder then others."

The rumors flew. But nobody knew how much she blamed herself, for years and years. She tried to hide the whiskey on her breath.

Buffy sat at home with a big bottle of Whiskey in her lap and 10 bottles of Corona Beer that were dry to the bone on the table next to her. She still had the image of his smiling in the park one day, and being happy. She loved it. She shook her head and took another long shot.

She finally drank her pain away a little at a time. But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind until the night...

Buffy shut all the lights off and saw the clock said 2:03 AM. She didn't care. She opened the closet door and took out a shoebox. She shut the door and stumbled into her room. She opened the box and in it were 5 gold colored bullets and a raven 47 handgun. She took the magazine out and loaded it with the bullets. She then opened her nightstand and took out a picture of his. She started to tear up again.

She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger. And finally drank away his memory. Life is short but this time it was bigger, then the strength she had to get up off her knees.

"Buffy it's us." Willow saw all the empty bottle on the table in the living room. "Oh Buffy." Willow went up the stairs into Buffy's room. "Oh NO BUFFY!" Willow ran toward her.

We found her with her face down in the pillow, clinging to his picture for dear life.

"We lay to rest here Buffy Summers, who took her own life after losing on she loved. May they both rest in peace." The same priest said.

We laid her next to him beneath the willow. While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby. La la la la la la la La la la la la la la La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la