A/N: BEWARE - THE FOLLOWING NOTE CONTAINS A RANT. This is the Christmas installation of this little collection... Yes, I realize that Christmas has passed and it's now New Year's Eve... Whoohoo... What the bloody fuck is the big deal about New Year's? I really feel the need to ask. Is it just another excuse to get wasted? Does it have any significance what so ever to anyone? I don't get it. And the ball! What is with the ball? It is one of the most anti climactic things I've ever witnessed. There is no, I repeat NO point. They spend all that money and think of how much they must have to pay the damn clean up crew... It's another one of those fucked up American traditions! I say fuck tradition! Open your eyes... Stupid fucks (not you guys, the government)... Okay I'm done now, so we can get on with the fic.

Disclaimer: This is so fucking stupid... If you don't get that I don't own it by now then you should just crawl under a rock and...

Something Shiny and Something Fuzzy

"Merry Christmas Pet!" Spike called before practically rolling down the steps in the Hyperion lobby.

"Spike!" Angel greeted upon entering the room and seeing lover sprawled at the bottom of the stairs.

"I brought the rum." Spike explained, lifting the near empty bottle.

Angel smiled in spite of himself. He's adorable, even when he's drunk. "You're supposed to have eggnog with the rum."

"Technicality Luv... Nothing but a technicality." Spike got to his feet and went to Angel. They hugged each other around the waist and pressed close. After a moment Spike looked around, "Where's the rest of the Angel Investigation team?"

"I don't know. Probably off getting rip roaring drunk... Tomorrow they'll come over and we'll open presents and orders take out."

"Hm-m... Sounds fun... Skip it."

Angel laughed outright before giving an actual answer. "I can't it's tradition." As soon as the words left his mouth Spike began to nuzzle his throat and purr.

"Skip it and I'll make it worth your while." Spike said in a raw, throaty voice that never failed to arouse Angel.

"You're a siren sent from hell you know that Babe?"

"You bet your ass I am." Spike agreed, sobering up a bit. "Just for you my angel... I'm like a bloody horny Christmas bear."

"All you need is a bow."

"Hmm." Spike agreed before leaning in and pressing a kiss to the brunette's lips. When they pulled back Angel's breath fanned across his cheek. "Don't you know, we're supposed to have mistletoe when we do that." he teased.

"Actually I think I have some of that around here, of the plastic variety anyway."

For the first time since his arrival Spike looked around the lobby. "Bloody hell... It looks like Christmas heaved in here. Did the Carnival Queen hit you with the holiday stick?"

Angel laughed as he disappeared behind the desk and came back with a cup of blood. "She tried... And then she got fed up with me and did it while I was asleep."

"Well, it's a bloody good thing... I thought you might be going soft on me Pet." Spike explained as he watched Angel guzzle the blood out of a mug covered with pictures of reindeer.

"On you? Never." Angel said with a smirked after setting down the empty novelty mug.

"Well, in that case... Let's get going Pet; I don't have all night... Well, actually I do but that's not really the point I'm trying to make now is it?"

Angel just raised an eyebrow. "You get wordy when you're horny."

"I'm a poet Luv. We're supposed to be wordy and as for the horny part, I know exactly what you can do to help."

"Sorry Babe, but we're gonna have to press the pause button again."

"This is a bloody awful pattern you're gettin' into."

"Sorry, but I have Christmas shopping to do."

"It better not be mine, you bloody ponce."

"Nope, yours is all set."

"Well why the bloody hell didn't you do it earlier?"

"I didn't know you were coming." Angel; defended weakly.

"You're my beau; you're supposed to spend Christmas with me behind locked doors, fucking me into the bloody mattress!"

"Come on, if you're good I'll give you a treat when we get back." Angel grabbed his duster and began to drag Spike towards the door.

"It better involve you getting down on your knees." Spike grumbled.

"Have I ever disappointed you before Babe?"

Spike took a moment to think about that. At different points both Angel and Angelus had taken their pleasure in him. They'd bit him, cut him, set him on fire (literally and figuratively speaking), strung him up like a flag and screwed into him like a light bulb. Sometimes it had hurt, but never… Never had his Angel disappointed him. "No." Spike said simply, letting Angel pull him into a tight embrace.

"Good answer." The brunette said before swooping in and taking Spike's lips with his own. The elder ran his hands down to Spike's hips and ground his pelvis closer. "Come on the sooner we go the sooner we can get back."

When the two were settled in the car as on their way Angel spoke up. "I think I'll be bed ridden tomorrow. I'll just leave the presents downstairs with a note."

Spike smiled toothily and turned towards him. "And what are you planning to do with your personal day? Masturbate? Because I'm bloody well not sticking around."

"Well, then you aren't getting your present… Besides we both know that you weren't planning on leaving in the morning."

"You take the bloody cake Pet." Spike muttered viciously.

"Thank you." Angel said, relaxing into the seat with a smug smile…

A/N: Well, that was boring… No sex… But I'm tired… It's 4:37 from where I'm standing and I want to post something… Between that family movie, to watching the fucking ball drop to writing another chapter for another story I'm all tuckered out. I'll finish this tomorrow night… Basically I want to post something and this is it.