You and you alone can save me
Insecure
By: Kuraii-chan
KK: Teehee. Yes, I'm trying to make it up to yall for my lack of chapters recently due to being grounded.
Kouga: She's seriously been working her ass off for you people, so you'd better be grateful and review.
KK: Hah, thanks Kouga. I'm just trying to keep them happy with all these chapters.
Seika: Mm, but on with the story!
Author Notes: I just wanted to say that I hope when I finally post Bringing Honor that people will love it as much as this one. So far I rather like it, and I'm also making a point of having the chapters reach ten Microsoft word pages… (actually, they just keep coming out that long for some reason) So please check it out when I finally decide to post it? Thank you for your time!
"Hey Rin!" called Kyo cheerfully, "You'll never guess who's here!"
Rin looked up from the paper she had been drawing on. "Onee-chan?"
Kyo smiled, "Wow Rin. Yes, Onee-chan is here, but she's not feeling well so Sesshomaru is staying with her to make sure she feel's better soon. Then she'll come and play with you Rin, wouldn't that be nice?"
Rin beamed happily. "Hai! I'll go pick flowers for Onee-chan, that way she'll feel better soon! Remember how she liked those flowers last time? I think I'll go back there and pick some."
She got up from her place and turned to Kyo. "Prepare Ah-Un for me Onii-chan."
Kyo shook his head, "No no, My-Linh has already done that. Come now so we can hurry."
Rin clapped her hands delightedly, "Good! To Ah-Un!" she cooed before taking off out the door to go see the beloved two-headed dragon, leaving Kyo to scamper after her.
"Rin!" called My-Linh, waving a hand. "I have Ah-Un ready over here."
The young girl skipped over, Kyo trailing behind.
"So you're going to go pick flowers for Kagome?" Rin nodded, "Well be back before the sun goes down and Hotohori will have a snack waiting for you, all right?" Rin bobbed her head eagerly.
"Rin will be back soon. I promise." The grabbing Kyo's hand she was lifted up onto Ah-Un's back, soon followed by her 'Onii-chan'.
The two, or well three counting Ah-Un, were off in a matter of seconds, eager to pick the flowers for the beloved and much adored Kagome.
My-Linh waved cheerfully before setting back to the castle. She had to get Kagome something too now…
"Look Onii-chan! We're here!" Rin hopped off of Ah-Un eager and scurried off towards the patch of flowers.
Bending over she scooped up a few daffodils and handed them to the orange-haired guard.
"Here Onii-chan, hold them please?" with a sigh he accepted the flowers.
"Don't remember holding flowers for a young girl as part of the job description…" he mumbled grumpily to himself, but holding the flowers all the same.
Rin returned seconds later with a few daisies. "Onii-chan, hold these too?"
Before he could answer she had skipped off, grabbing some snowdrops and honeysuckles.
"Will Onee-chan like these?" she asked softly, holding up her new prizes.
"Of course Rin, she'll love them!" the little girl grinned and left the flowers with Kyo, running off to find more.
Rin went out for the last time, picking flowers she hadn't previously gotten. When she returned she had some violets, chrysanthemum, and even a lily of the valley.
"Good job Rin!" praised Kyo, "Lady Kagome will adore all of these for sure." Rin beamed, apparently proud of her hard work. "Now, let's get back and eat that snack Hotohori made for you because the sunset. After that then maybe we can take Lady Kagome her get-well-soon flowers from you, all right?"
Rin flashed a smile, "All right Onii-chan. Ah-Un!" she called loudly, "Come out, come out, wherever you are!"
The dragon in question lazily came forward from it's grass-eating to the little Mistress.
The little ningen girl hopped on Ah-Un nimbly, waiting patiently for the guard to climb on as well.
With everyone on and Kyo carrying the flowers the two, or three, of them took off back to the castle.
"Are you sure she'll like them Onii-chan?" questioned Rin anxiously as they approached.
"She'll love them," said Kyo reassuringly, "And she'll love them even more because they are from you." He patted Rin comfortingly on the back. "Don't worry about it, okay?"
Rin nodded, "Okay."
Ah-Un descended and My-Linh was there to greet them. "Oh how beautiful Rin, did you pick these all by yourself?"
She puffed up confidently, "Hai!"
"Wonderful job!" cooed My-Linh, "Here, I'll find a vase for them and get some fresh water." The kitsune took the flowers carefully and left to finish.
"Hotohori is waiting with Rin's snack," My-Linh added over her shoulder, "Be sure to hurry or it'll get cold."
Rin and Kyo grinned and hurried off to find the castle doctor.
He was rather famous for his cooking…
Sesshomaru blinked as the miko in his arms stirred.
"No! Not math!" she mumbled quietly into the Taiyoukai's fluffy tail, "Please, anything but math…"
He shook his head at the strange things she had begun to mutter in her sleep about five minutes ago.
Shifting his position a little, he began to rearrange Kagome a little as well. After much struggling he finally go her to release his waist. He then skillfully maneuvered until she was vertical across his lap, head still resting against the silky white mass of tail. His arm was snugly tucked around her shoulders, and their hands still intertwined, resting lightly on her stomach, which lifted with each breath.
The results were satisfying… no more sleep talking.
With a sigh Kagome drew a deep breath and her heart rate increased, eyelashes fluttered before finally opening to reveal sleepy blue-gray eyes.
"Anou… Sesshou-kun?"
She blinked a few times and yawned.
"Mm… I feel a lot better." She was going to lift both arms a stretch but she noticed one seemed to be rather occupied…
……
… with Sesshomaru's hand.
Ohmigawd, ohmigawd, ohmigawd… I grabbed Sesshomaru's hand while I was sleeping! Ohmigawd, what am I going to do? Aiiee, I'll never trust myself to go to sleep around him again! Oh no… oh no, oh no, oh no…
… But it feels… really nice too. WAIT. No, no, no, no. Get a grip girl! You can't go and do this to yourself.
"Mm, thank you Sesshomaru-sama." Carefully she detached her hand from his, "You always seem to help me, and I don't know what I can do for you. Here, when you come up with something you can tell me and I'll try as best I can to fulfill it."
Slowly Kagome got up, doing her best to hurt the Taiyoukai she had used for a bed. With precision and grace he rose as well and looking down met her eyes.
"Thank you for saving and helping me. It means a lot." She smiled softly and Sesshomaru nodded.
"Come. Dinner should be about ready by now. The accomplices you travel with shall be here soon as well, and you should be ready for their arrival."
Sliding open the door he lead the miko to Rin's room to dine with her and set off to arrange a bath and wardrobe change for Kagome.
"Oh! Hello Kyo, My-Linh, Hotohori. Hi Rin!" she leaned over and hugged the little girl tightly. "How are you?"
Rin hopped up and down, "Rin picked- um." She paused at the look directed her way and started over again, "I picked flowers for you Onee-chan! Look!" She was handed a miniature bouquet of flowers.
"Oh Rin," whispered Kagome softly, tears brimming in her eyes, "Thank you so much."
"Why does Onee-chan cry? Does she not like the flowers?" asked Rin softly, confused.
"Oh no Rin, I love the flowers. I'm crying because I'm so happy." She pulled Rin into another embrace and sniffed. "Thank you very much for the flowers. It's really sweet of you."
Sesshomaru chose that moment to re-enter the room.
"What's wrong?" he demanded.
"Nothing Sesshomaru," answered Kagome, straightening.
"Then why are you crying?"
"From happiness of course." She held up the bouquet for Sesshomaru to see. "Rin gave me this." She sniffed at the flowers fondly and sighed.
The Taiyoukai looked skeptical but seemed to accept the answer. After all, women were some strange creatures were they not?
"Your bath is being prepared as we speak, so do hurry or it'll be a wasted effort. Then a new yukata has been prepared for you to wear. It will be waiting on the bed in the room you stayed in when you last stayed here."
Kagome bowed, "All right, thank you Sesshou-kun."
Sesshomaru nodded and left briskly.
"So! Lets eat because it seems I have a bath and new clothes waiting." She plopped down new to where Rin had previously been sitting to eat.
"Why must you dress up Kagome? Going somewhere?" questioned Kyo curiously.
"No, my friends are coming here to see me." She smiled softly, "It's been a while so I'm really looking forward to it. Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku, and Shippou. Well Kirara too."
My-Linh nodded slowly, "The hanyou, taijiya, monk, kitsune youkai, and fire neko right?"
Kagome nodded. "Wow My-Linh, good memory. Hai, that's right though."
Reaching over, she grabbed a pair of chopsticks and a bowl of rice. She finished easily and moved onto the miso soup.
"Mm… delicious!" purred Kagome happily. "Who's the cook?"
My-Linh grinned, "Hotohori believe it or not." The miko looked surprised.
"Hori-chan? Can cook this good?" She twitched. Even I can't match this cooking…
Stacking her empty bowls on top of each other, Kagome placed her chopsticks in the top bowl and got up.
"I'll see all of you later! I need to go freshen up."
She hurried out the door with a wave and nearly ran to the hot spring. The on-duty guards nodded to her and she passed by them.
A towel had been set out along with her bath products… so someone had found her pack? Well it was a relief that she would be bathing with shampoo and conditioner.
Stripping hurriedly she left her clothes in a small heap before stepping into the spring.
"Mm… that feels really good." The water was just the right temperature, not too hot as it had been sometimes and not too cold either.
Reaching over Kagome squirted some Jasmine scented shampoo into her hands and eagerly scrubbed at her head. She rinsed it out vigorously and applied her Jasmine conditioner.
While she was letting the conditioner sink in Kagome grabbed her bottle of Vanilla body wash and lathered it on her skin. Finally she when was satisfied that her skin was absolutely clean she rinsed off all of the soap and then rinsed the conditioner out of her hair.
"Yum, clean at last." She hummed happily, drying herself off with the towel before adorning the fluffy white robe.
She gathered everything together and left the spring, smiling to the guards as she passed.
It took a little before she found her room, having nearly forgotten where it was in the time she hadn't staying in it.
And as promised, lying on her bed was a new yukata, white in color with delicate pink sakura petals and occasional blossoms dancing across the soft fabric. A pastel blue obi was set out, along with some sandals. But there was another option lying there. White haori and red hakama were lying on the bed, along with a white ribbon to tie back her hair with.
Oh… but, which to pick? I've grown used to the yukatas and with Kikyou having died recently the outfit seems inappropriate… but in some ways it seems just right. Something to show just what I am.
In the end she picked the traditional miko outfit.
Tying back her hair with the white ribbon, Kagome looked in a mirror. How different she looked! More professional almost…
With a sigh she slipped on the sandals and headed out of the room to seek Rin.
Instead though she ran into Sesshomaru.
"Oh! Hello Sesshomaru!" Kagome smiled nervously, "Do you think I made the right choice, wearing this?"
Sesshomaru nodded slowly, "Hai. In that you are honoring Kikyou, reminding those who knew her and whose lives she touched that she is only gone physically."
Kagome blinked… she hadn't thought of it that way.
"I do think that you should go pray for her soul and burn incense for her though." Added Sesshomaru, "It's what's right, and she would have done the same for you had she still been herself."
"I agree. Thank you Sesshomaru." Kagome began to bow, but a hand stopped her.
"Such formalities aren't needed here."
She found herself drawn into his golden eyes; they looked like pools of sunshine. Silver hair accented the eyes, making them stand out more than they already did. The magenta stripes seemed to caress his cheeks softly, almost teasingly.
… Oh.
Kagome felt herself take an involuntary step forward, until she was looking up just to keep eye contact.
She could feel a small blush creep it's way into her cheeks and her heart pounded within her chest.
I suppose… I suppose before I knew it I had grown to love Sesshomaru and finally gotten over Inuyasha.
I… I think I love you Sesshomaru.
Her eyes finally moved from his alluring eyes, and settled on his perfect lips.
Somehow before she could register what was going on their lips brushed together, and Kagome knew all was lost.
She looked into Sesshomaru's eyes once again as their lips met slowly, and then her eyelashes slid closed.
Hands reached to rest delicately upon Sesshomaru's shoulders as his arms moved to wrap around her waist.
Wait! Wait, wait, wait! This is going too fast! I've got to go…
She pulled away abruptly, retracting her hands as if his touch was poisonous. Her breath was heavier than she liked and she stammered an excuse.
"I-I've gotta go… um, My-Linh and Rin… they-they're waiting for me."
Trembling, she ran until she had reached Rin's room.
"Kagome, what happened? You look like you've seen Death itself." Remarked Kyo. My-Linh elbowed him with a glare that clearly told him 'shut-it-you-you-aren't-helping'
"Hey Kagome, what's wrong hun?" My-Linh slid forward and guided Kagome to the bed to sit on.
Wide-eyed she chewed her lip mercilessly, "I'm just… really confused about something. And nervous."
An eyebrow rose in question and My-Linh had a pretty good idea what was happening here.
"You two kissed, didn't you?" she whispered softly so as to keep anyone else from hearing.
Kagome gave her a startled look but then nodded slowly. "It's not that I didn't like it, I did, but… I don't know, it's all so much to take in. I've only recently discovered, as in today, that I might even harbor feelings for him."
My-Linh patted her back softly, "It's okay to be confused at first, I think nearly everyone is. Soon you'll both see you're meant for each other."
Kagome shot her a look that clearly told My-Linh that she was in no way helping.
"Hehe, sorry, but seriously though. You aren't the first to feel insecure at first and you won't be the last."
That's for sure… girls are always insecure in my time.
"But… what should I do My-Linh?"
The kitsune never looked so sure of herself before, "Follow your heart."
The door slid open and Tsubasa, looking as sour as ever, had an announcement that would only prove interesting to Kagome. "The hanyou and others are here. I am to lead you to them. Oh yes, and the Wolf Price has returned as well."
Kagome got up quickly, "Come My-Linh! Kyo, Rin, you too! I want you to meet my friends!" She cheerfully followed Tsubasa until they reached it.
The neko opened the door and entered. "Here you are." She muttered moodily, "Anything else I can do?"
"No, I've got it." Replied Kagome.
Tsubasa bowed and left.
"Uh, guys?"
Kouga and Inuyasha were in the middle of another fight already, and this time Miroku, Sango, and Shippou were actually trying to stop it.
"Come on, we can't have you tearing your half-brother's castle! We'd never be able to pay for damages!" cried Sango.
"Guys?" called Kagome. No one noticed.
"That's right dog breath, you must behave like a good little puppy." Coaxed Kouga.
Inuyasha snarled, "I'm not a little puppy you damned wolf!"
"GUYS!" screamed Kagome.
All activity ceased immediately.
"Good. Hello." Called Kagome, happy with the results. "This is My-Linh, Kyo, and Rin." She gestured to each in turn. "Now I would introduce Hotohori but he isn't here at the moment, Tsubasa just left, and Kira has yet to tolerate me."
"Kagome!" cried Shippou as he launched himself into Kagome's arms. "Oh I missed you! Inuyasha was being mean to me…" He sniffed and Inuyasha received a glare.
"Hey Kagome," called Inuyasha as he headed over along with Sango and Miroku.
She hugged Sango, threatened Miroku before hugging him, and merely smiled at Inuyasha.
Kouga however strode up and took a hug for himself.
"How are you doing Kagome? Feeling any better?" he looked so genuinely concerned it was rather touching.
"Yes, much." Kagome smiled, "Thank you for asking. So how are all of you? What's been going on while I've been gone? Any new leads?"
Miroku shook his head sadly, "No, I'm sorry Kagome. And we didn't want to go searching without you."
"Aww, thanks you guys."
Inuyasha blinked as if seeing her for the first time, "Say Kagome, what's with the outfit?"
She straightened, "It's in honor of Kikyou."
Inuyasha stared at the floor, "Thanks Kagome, means a lot."
Funny… that doesn't mean anything to me, and yet, only a month or so ago if he'd looked that way while obviously thinking about Kikyou I might have been angry or sad… probably both. And yet… I feel nothing. Inuyasha, you and I really have grown apart.
KK: :yawns: Mm, and I believe I shall stop it there. I really don't like how the kiss came out though… :stabs it with a pitchfork: Oh well though, at least you people can quit bugging me about a kiss already.
Seika: Blah, blah, blah.
Kagome: So now I'm insecure…
Kikyou: She's honoring me…?
TwistedBlackAndRedRose: Haha, alright I'll remember :nods: Thank you very much!
Inlovewithsesshomaru: Aww, thanks, I do hope you liked this chapter as well…
WiccanMethuselah: Hahaha… :grins: Maaaaaaaybe… :D Of course I'm committed to this fic! It's the first one I ever wrote and I'm thouroughly in love with it… :big huge heart: Yayyy!
MizuiroSnow: Yaaaaaay! Good job:D So smart you are, I believe I shall give you a cookie.
Miko-Hime: Thank you! Wonderful job, my reviewers are go smart and have wonderful taste in manga! I believe I shall give you a cookie as well… :D
Dark Nadeshiko: Hmmm… I hadn't even thought about poor Tama-baby and his line actually… :D;; Heh. Since I seem to be making a habit of it so far you will get a cookie too:D
Kag-Kitsune: Why thank you. :D
Niaka1: Goooooood job! :cheers: And a cookie for your hard work as well. Nono, it was Hotohori, Nuriko's secret is found out in the second volume near this lake-type-thing. :D
Mekahanyou: Aw, if that was the best chapter then what is this one supposed to be?
SilverShadowKitsune: Aw, thanks! Me too… :frowns: 'S not fair that Kagome gets all the guys, ne?
Saikoubi Sama: While I thank you for your imput and believe it to be quite useful there are some points I wish to correct you on myself. First, a yukata is nothing like what Kikyou and Inuyasha wear, that is a Haori and Hakama. Secondly, I never quite claimed to have a plot when I started this story and I admit to being quite new to the whole thing. Third, hai, my spelling needs work and I was quite aware of that already. Fourth, who ever claimed Hotohori to be evil? What magic hat did you pull that one from? Yes Hotohori comes from Fushigi Yugi. I think you should also straighten out what you wish to leave in a review before actually criticizing a writer.
Sheshyaddiction: Hehe, thanks! Glad you enjoyed it!
Raye the great: Haha. Yes yes, I know. You owe me a HUGE box of pocky.
Arwen-evenstar2: Thank you, hehe. I'm glad you liked it!
Animefreak404112: Aw, thank you so much! Feel free to tell this to my mysterious "SS" person who criticized my work just now with some false accusations… Er. :D;; Acutally you don't need to think about it. I've already done some straightening of my own.
Inu Youkai Gurl: Haha, thank you so much! Your review means a lot, yanno? Apparently my work isn't loved by all… And I agree. Writers block is the worst, da:laughs: Good luck with that!
Kitsune'sangelofflames: Aw, thanks. I'm becoming rather attatched to My-Linh myself. She's just awesome, no?
Kirin Kage the Shadow Girl: Why thank you! I believe some of your review was erased though…
Mystic Hanyou: Thanks. I felt he needed it. And yes, Kikyou being dead is good news to me… I made sure not to be too harsh though in case I have some Kikyou fans amongst my reviewers…
Sesshylover3000: Thank you, and please don't die… I would hate to think that I killed off someone without even meaning to.. D:
Sesshoumarugrl: Aha! Goody, I found another supporter! Thank you. And no, I think he's gay and will stay that way. I have yet to come up with complete reasoning for why he was like that around Kagome but for now I will just say that once you get past his mean exterior, you meet with a shy inner self.
INUGIRL: Here you are! Enjoy!
YaY: Haha, this chapter actually, funny you should ask…
Silver-fang9: Aw thanks. I'm glad you liked it and I hope you liked this one even more.
Caladriel: Hehe, and I hope this one is even better than both of them!
Sora's Chi Aka Kaminari: Oh hai! I love Kouga to itty bitty pieces I do! And I'm glad… I was slightly worried no one would be able to picture it much less understand what I had written… :D;;
GreatestAnimeFreak: Cookie.
BookReader2007: Thank you! I hope this was well worth the wait!
Tigermage: Ah… let me see. My-Linh would be May Lin. Tsubasa is Su Ba Sa. Tsukasa is like Tsubasa except Su Ka Sa. Um… Hotohori – Ho Toe Hor e. Kyo – Ke o. Akito – Ah Kee Toe, Kira – Kir ah, Kiba – Kee Bah. Remind me if I forgot any!
Someone noone: Um, I don't believe so. Thanks for the review!
Newiceauthoress: Aw, thanks. I honestly don't like the first seven or so chapters though… I plan on re-doing them in the near future.
Kari konoko: Aw, thanks! A kiss is what happens actually… :D
Fluffyluva246: Aw, thanks! Here you are, enjoy!
KK: Well I do hope you people enjoyed this chapter! Please review!